As Link as his Merry Men flee from Sheriff Ganondorf, we now turn our attention back to Princess Zelda and the fat buffoon Mario.
(The scene shows the inside of the castle where the two are supposed to be, but instead shows a barren room, with the sound effect of crickets chirping in the background)
Narrator: Uh…what's going on here? Where are Zelda and Mario?
Zelda: We're on break due to a technical difficulty.
Narrator: What do you mean 'technical difficulty'? It's been over three months and our readers are waiting for the next decent update to this fic! What gives?
Zelda: Mario's got stuck in the ye-olde toilet.
Narrator: …You've got to be kidding me…
Zelda: I know, sad isn't it?
Narrator: Yes…yes it is…
The Bard: Well then…while we wait, shall I sing to you, my fair lady, a song?
Zelda: Um…I'm not really in the mood…
The Bard: Ahem! (Strums mandolin) There once was a lady named…
Locke: (Takes The Bard's mandolin and smashes it over his head) The princess says she didn't want to listen to your annoying music.
The Bard: Owie…
Mario: (Toilet flushes in the distance) Okay, I'm back! My younger and less sexy brother Sir Luigi got me unstuck! On with the chapter!
Zelda and Narrator: Um…yay?
Majestic Meatballs
Super Mario and Princess Zelda were in a private room plotting on how to destroy Link and his Merry Men. Princess Zelda was still in her Sheik alter ego mode, mind you.
"So, my beautiful princess, what do you have in mind in ousting that Link and his band of rogues" Mario asks intently.
"I say we lure them to us somehow," Sheik responds, arms crossed.
"And then what? Stab him and the others with a knife?" Mario suggests.
"No you idiot! We've got to make it look like an accident…publicly…" she says, thinking as she spoke.
Then it hit her.
"I've got it. We hold an archery contest. We'll announce this event throughout the land, and the ultimate prize will be yours truly. This will be one event they will not be able to resist," Sheik continues. "Once they are in my custody, my royal castle guards will ambush them and destroy them once and for all!"
"And then we will rule over the land together! Sounds good in all…but what if they don't decide to come?" Mario questions.
"What do you mean, fat-man?" Sheik says.
"To ensure their arrival, I have a plan in place just in case they refuse to take part in your proposed event my fair lady," Mario explains.
"Oh?" Sheik says, rising an eyebrow.
Mario nodds his head and takes something out of his pants pocket.
"Indeed. See this bottle here? The contents within are a secret recipe handed down from my family line. One whiff of this stuff can turn any simpleton into a raging ferocious madman," Mario explains.
"Get to the point," Sheik orders.
"We shall give this to Sheriff Ganondorf and let him smell this sinister incense. Once he does, he'll overrun Link and his Merry Men and bring them to your event…that's if he doesn't kill them first…" Mario adds with a cheesy smile.
Shiek glares at him before turning away.
"Whatever. Just be sure they get here in one piece, or I'll tear you up myself!" Sheik warns.
Suddenly, Sheik's magic powers began going out of whack again. After a flash of white light, Princess Zelda was back to her normal self again.
"Um…what am I doing here? What happened? Were you trying to get me alone and feel me up while I was unaware?!" Princess Zelda accuses Mario.
"No wait! I can explain! You turned into this crazy shrouded woman and you…" Mario tries to explain, before he was punched in the face by Princess Zelda's fist.
"Pig!" she says with a huff before leaving the room.
"Momma mia…" Mario says dizzily, before passing out.
The plan is in place, but will Link and his Merry Men react? What will happen to them? Stay tuned, fellow reader!
Continue on to the next chapter!