Author's Note

Yeah, I know it's been a while. I've been dealing with school, but now I got things back on track. I also made this fanfic for the same requester on DeviantArt. I messed up his requests, and so instead of Palutena, it's Lucina getting humorous chemistry with the angel duo.

Warning!

This story features profanity and use of alcohol. Viewer discretion is advised.

Deep within there was a legendary underground place that no one has ever seen before! Well, unfortunately, it's just an overexaggerated man cave where the males could hang out. But it was their safe haven for them to spend their time in with, of course, a childish rule of "no girls". The man cave consisted of a bar with its own bartender, an arcade section, a workout station, and don't forget, your signature tv and couch. But my goodness, it was the largest flat tv in the mansion along with the soothest couch.

Although, most of the time, they're not entirely focused on the TV. Why, today, most of the "big boys" were there, including Snake and Ike. They were sitting in a spinning chair by the wooden table as they sipped whiskey and had light chat. Dark Pit was playing at the arcade, his eyes glued on the screen. While the older angel, Pit, sat along the bar, trying to beg for alcohol.

"C'mon, can I at least get wine? I had wine before," Pit said to the bartender.

"Sorry. I don't give wine to minors," the bartender said as he cleaned a giant mug with a towel.

"Minor? I'm not that young."

"Dude, you look like you haven't even hit puberty."

"I'm not that youn-"

"We can make an exception on him. We can't really calculate his age. Besides, he's a whole new species altogether, so who the hell knows what his true age is," Snake said.

"Well, true." The bartender focused on putting that concept together, but his mind would turn to mush and thought no further.

"Give him a glass, on me," Snake said.

"Alright then." The bartender filled up a glass of wine and slide it over to the young angel.

"R-really? Thanks, Mr. Snake!" Pit took no time chugging it down like some madman.

"No problem." He smiled lightly. "Every man needs his liquor."

"Oh, so I'm a man now?" Pit quirked a brow and smiled goofily.

"I guess-"

"In order to be a man, you need to show that you truly are one." A gruff voice emerged from the shadows. Meta Knight sat at his own table in the darkest part of the room, just to express how dark and edgy he was. He shined his blade with a wettened cloth.

"But how do I do that?" Pit asked.

"Pfft, it's simple really." Dark Pit budged into the conversation. He was attracted to all this "man" talk. "You got to kiss a girl."

"Hm, interesting choice..." Meta Knight hummed as his eyes turned glossy pink.

"Everybody knows that if you kissed a girl, that shows that you're not some loser."

"Getting a girl to kiss you isn't that hard," Snake muttered and then he sipped his whiskey.

"Oh yeah? Then how about kissing Lucina."

The poor older man cracked his glass cup once he heard that name. "L-Lucina?"

"That's right! The toughest and meanest girl of them all!" Dark Pit said.

"Are you crazy? You're going to be ripped to shreds if you try to kiss her!" Pit exclaimed, his feet were shaking so much that his sandals threaten to fall off.

"Oh yeah? Why I'm tough and mature, just her fitting." Dark Pit ran over to the janitor's closet and whipped out a mop. He jumped up onto the bar's counter. "It'll be so easy! All I need to do is get her into the mood and bam! Before you know it we're making out like no tomorrow!" He bent the mop over and caressed its dirty top like it was luscious hair. "I'll be a true man."

Pit toes curled, just cringing at the thought of it. Dark Pit. Him. Kissing Lucina. What an atrocious idea! The brown haired angel had feelings for, true ones. He never saw a woman like her. And for Dark Pit to just romance her for one measly kiss was absurd! Treating like her like an object for him to use for one purpose and throw it away. "I-I will kiss her before you do!" He wanted to say mightily but only resulted in an awkward voice crack in mid-sentence.

"Haha! You? You? Out of all the people she could choose from, she would kiss you?" Dark Pit joked. "She would rather kiss Wario!"

"That isn't true!" The other angel barked back.

"How about this," Snake smirked, an obvious plan forming in his head. "I dare you two to kiss Lucina within three days. Who doesn't kiss her gets to dress up as cupid for a week. If you both kiss her, you both pass."

"Challenge accepted!" Pit said.

"As do I. And I have an idea."

"Oh yeah? I will have an even better one and I'll do it faster!" The brown haired angel drank up his wine in one humongous gulp and then ran up the stairs.

"Well, I'll be fasterer!" Dark Pit followed right before, leaving the other two men to watch as their scandals scrapped against the stairs and disappearing altogether.

Meta Knight turned to Snake. "Do you think that was a good idea? Why those young minds are so impressionable."

"Let them grow some balls for once." The combatant rolled his eyes halfway.

"You're a terrible influence, through and through. You taint the innocence from the childr-"

"I think that whole chivalry stuff is getting to your head."

Meta Knight sighed of disappointment. "Whatever." He picked up his sword and went on his merry way upstairs.

"So, Pit. Why did you bring me out here in the middle of the forest? Especially when it's dreadfully scorching out here." Lucina said as she and Pit trudged along a pathway in the middle of the forest behind the smash mansion. She wielded her Falchion sword, slicing and dicing any vegetation that got in her way with ease.

The sword nearly cut off a feather from Pit's wings, making him all the nervous to be around her. He stood a healthy distance behind her. "It's a very special surprise. You'll love it and get water!"

"I hope I do. It isn't one of your silly pranks is it?" She stopped and glared.

"N-no! I respect you too much." Pit sheepishly smiled.

The warrior judged his face, trying to find any clue to him hiding any false intentions, but he was clear. "Well, are we close then?"

"Y-yeah." The angel squinted his eyes and saw something reflecting light out in the distance. "Actually, we're here." He ran towards the gleaming light and found a small area of land that was free from grass, but a few flowers dotted it.

It was just mostly just plain dirt, but smack dab in the middle of the mass of land was a stone water fountain. My goodness, was is a miraculous water fountain. The fountain was carved into a tree with many birds sitting on its branches. Clear water from a nearby spring spewed from the tips of the tree and its hollow, the water cascading down the stone in streams until it was captured in the circling pool underneath it. Despite being a gorgeous sight, years of neglect was evident by the moss and vines clinging on it in all direction, but that only gave more to its charm.

"Oh my Gods." Her jaw was gape as she slowly inched towards the structure like it was a mystical being. She gently caressed the smoothly carved marble. "I've always wanted to see this fountain. I've been searching all around this forest just to get to see it. I've heard legends."

"I knew you spend most of your time out here just to search for it. Everyone thought you would never find it and thought you were delusional, but I knew it was out there. I flew up above in the sky and I spotted it from a mile away! Good thing I'm an angel, huh?"

"Pit, I'm lost for words." Lucina chuckled. "It's so beautiful..."

"I knew you would love it!" The angel soared over to a daisy, plucked it from the ground, and then handed it to her. "A-And this is another gift as well!"

She delicately held the rose and toyed with its smooth petals. "I can't believe you did this all for me." She brushed away her hair, exposing her blush on her cheeks. "But why?"

"Y'know, I just thought it would be nice to, y'know, ugh." He shifted uncomfortably and his eyes wandered from side to side.

"Y'know?" Lucina encouraged, smiling at how cute while he was nervous.

"I really li-"

A loud rawr interrupted their moment. Lucina immediately had her sword in hand, in her battle stance, and faced the direction of the potential opponent. Luckily, it was just Charizard and she sighed with relief. "Goodness, you scared me."

Charizard landed right next to them.

"What's wrong, Charizard?" Pit asked.

The pokémon turned around to expose its back, where a note was attached to its body. It pointed to the paper with its claws.

"Weird." Lucina took off the note and read it. "My Gods! There are Ness and Lucas are being held hostage in their treehouse."

"That's horrible! We have to save them!" Pit said.

But the warrior intervene. "It says that I have to do this alone, sorry Pit."

The angel's wings drooped. "Aw, really?"

"Yes, really." She then turned to the pokemon. "Charizard, do you mind giving me a lift there?" Lucina said.

It nodded and laid down on the ground and Lucina eagerly hopped on it. The mighty dragon pokemon spread its wings and descendent into the sky.

"Hope they'll be ok..." Pit muttered as he watched them soar away to the treehouse.

A few minutes later, the warrior and the pokemon made it to their destination. The dragon landed a few yards away to not blow their cover.

Lucina jumped off and petted its head, which in respond Charizard purred lovingly. "Thanks again. If I scream, don't be afraid to jump in there and lend a hand."

Once more, the Charizard nodded and watched as she approached the treehouse.

Whoever these people are, they're about to wish they're never been born, she thought as she climbed up the ladder. She knew that could be risky. Her approach could notify the kidnappers where she was, but her determination overcame her desire for caution. She got onto the balcony and looked through the windows of the treehouse and saw lit candles, but they weren't bright enough to light up the treehouse. There was an abnormal amount.

Must be some ritual they're performing to sacrifice them, Lucina thought. She took no time to kick the door opening, the door slamming against the wall. "Surrender me the boys and nobody has to be hu-"

Plenty of lights went on, blinding the warrior and causing her to grunt and shield her eyes.

Then a sly voice was heard. "Hello, Lucina."

After her eyes adjusted to the light, she spotted Dark Pit laying on a red, fluffy carpet with a bottle of wine at his side. There was a record player sounding out some smooth and steady jazz. There were streamers in the shape of hearts hung along the walls, and the smell of oranges from the scented candles was too much for Lucina's nostrils to handle.

It was a ritual alright, but not the type of ritual she expected. "What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is. This?"

"Oh, just a little gift I wift up for you. I had told Lucas and Ness to set up this place for them. Don't worry, I'll repay them like the gentlemen I am." Pit poured her a glass of wine. "Care for a drink, m'lady?" The dark angel was at the cheesiest a boy can ever get.

"I don't care for your stupid drink, I came here to save Ness and Lucas for kidnappers, but apparently that isn't the case here. I rode my ass here and had my sword ready for action only to be lead into some silly date!" You could see that Lucina was boiling red all over. "Matter of fact, this is very cringe-worthy."

"Hey, hey, hey, chill princess. I was just want to have some fun and get to know you better, but I see you're more of a bitch more than anything." Dark Pit scoffed. "Nice dudes can't catch a break."

"Number one, you were never really nice to me before you arranged this thing. Second of all, you literally tricked me into being, so you expect me to be nice back? Third, you're not even my type." She was ready to dig her fists into that punchable face of his until some newcomers dropped in.

Meta Knight glided through the door and landed. He looked around his surroundings and placed his cape around his body like a bat. "I came here to help any child in need, but I seem to be really wrong. Really wrong. I can't believe what I'm actually seeing."

"Meta Knight?! Who told you to come here?" Dark Pit said.

"I did!" Pit swooped in. "I decided to get some backup and help save the day-, woah, what is all of this?! Dark Pit, do you think this was the way to go?"

"It was going great until you guys got here, but I bet you didn't succeed with your little plan!" Dark Pit barked.

Didn't succeed? This was the way to go? All of this was too much, and it seems more than one person was involved in this. "Ok, ok, what is going on here? I demand an explanation! Now!" Lucina slammed her boot against the wood, causing the floor underneath to shake violently. At this point, Lucina could cause this old treehouse to crumble.

Meta Knight stepped forward. "Miss Lucina, Snake has conducted a bet for these two where whoever kisses you will prove to be a man, but if they fail, the consequence is to wear a diaper."

The warrior glared at both of the angels. "So all of this was just for two to lock lips with me?! How ungrateful! Especially for you, Pit." Pit could see her eyes were beginning to water. "I thought...I thought you were being nice to me just because you actually liked me, but instead, you just played with my feelings to get a kiss to show off how 'manly' you are." Lucina pushed through both Meta Knight and Pit and got out the treehouse. She started running across the open field towards the forest they were previously.

"B-But Lucina, please, it isn't true!" Pit soared after her.

Dark Pit just looked out the window and watched. "So, does that mean I loss?"

Meta Knight only facepalmed in response.

Tears streamed down Lucina's cheeks as she ran through the forest as fast as her legs she could muster. She clawed her way through any vegetation or rocks that were in her way, but her main obstacle was Pit, who was on hot pursuit. He was shouting apologies up above, but the warrior ignored and kept on running. Yet, eventually her stamina was ebbing away and the heat pressured her to stop.

She sat down underneath a tree that offered shade and was catching her breath. She couldn't tell it was either perspiration or tears that coated her face.

This gave Pit the chance of landing beside her. "Lucina, please listen to me."

"Why should I? You're just going to feed me lies." It was evident that she was still filled with rage and didn't even meet eye contact.

"If I really didn't have feelings for you, I wouldn't have wanted to talk to you to make things right." Pit sighed and his wings drooped heavily. "Look, I'm really sorry if I hurt you. I never wanted to participate in the bet in the first place. But just hearing Dark Pit say that he was gonna kiss you all over no matter what it took really sickened me. I had real feelings for you. Real feelings. But Dark Pit didn't at all and I didn't want him to end up using you. And so I decided I was going to confess to you before he got the chance." He rubbed the back fo his neck. "But he led you into that 'date' before I could I finish my confession."

"Can you please forgive me?" He got onto his hands and knees. "Oh, please, please, I'll do anything for you to forgive me!"

Lucina lovingly smiled and got up on her feet. "Oh, Pit, that was the best apology I could ever ask for." She cupped her hand against his cheek. "I know what you can do to help me forgive you."

He reddened as her face was inching closer and closer to his. "And what is that?" His knees were going weak at how lovestruck he was. Of course, he knew what she was hinting at. He closed his eyes and waited.

Yet, she slid past his face and had her lips close to his ear. "To lose this bet. Have fun, diaper boy." The warrior whispered with a sinister chuckle.

During a nice day at the beach, Lucina wore sunglasses as she suntanned on a wooden chair. She watched as the angels pitifully watched the water, knowing that they can't jump into the refreshing cold water with the other smashers because they couldn't get there. Some strangers walked by and shot the two weird looks, which only made them sunk deep into regret. The constant taunting by the others was enjoyable either, even by Jigglypuff.

Lucina chuckled as she watched how Pit was making a sand dome just to hide himself in like a little turtle, but the Duckhunt duo kept digging and tearing it up. Dark Pit wasn't in no good shape either. Lucina could see that dark angel just sitting on the sand, a babyish glare on his red face, as he mumbled about how much he hated the world. "Serves him right." She giggled and then relaxed on her chair.

Snake casually came by to see her. "What a sight isn't it? I haven't seen Dark Pit this angry when he was beaten by Zelda for her reflecting his arrow back at him! Man, he sure looks like a toddler, am I right?"

"Actually, I almost forgot about you." She pulled out a diaper for him to wear. "Don't you ever have a bet about me, ok?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but the soldier hung his head in defeat and took the diaper and put it on over his tight leather outfit.

"Not so manly now, huh?"

Author's Note

This isn't a diaper fetish! I swear! Don't sue me! ;-;

It was a reference to "Regular Show" where in the episode "Do or Diaper" this character named Mordecai had a bet with his friends and if he lost this bet, he had to wear a diaper for a day. I won't go into full detail so I don't spoil it for ya, but who seriously doesn't know Regular Show by now? It was like one of the most popular shows on Cartoon Network. Anyways, I wanted to use that concept for humor purposes.