Apologies that this is poorly written. xD
I wrote it at quarter to two in the morning.
Enjoy anyway

Chapter 6

Tosh knocked gently on the glass door to Jack's office. She had no understanding as to why he didn't like the boy that he and Ianto brought back. The boy was so cute and innocent, even Owen was taking a likening to him. Okay...So that likening wasn't obvious, but Tosh could see the tiny little flash of happiness across his face when the child said his name.

A loud grunt of "What." broke the woman from her thoughts. She gently pulled the handle of the door and let herself in. Jack was slumped over the desk with a bottle of whiskey in his hands. He didn't look too happy.
The Japanese woman strode forward silent and set on the chair opposite her boss.

"Drinking won't solve anything Jack."
The man let out another grunt and lifted his head to stare at Tosh.
"Sure as hell makes things easier."
"What's there to make easier?"

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Does Ianto hate me? I was a right bastard to him earlier..."
"He doesn't hate you. I think he's just confused."
"I...I didn't mean to call him an idiot. I just wanted to make him see sense."
"About what? He was being perfectly reasonable..."
"That thing we found. It could have hurt him..."
"But it didn't..."
"I know...But...We don't know for sure what it is. I don't want him to get attached to it and then find out its some Man Eating Cyborg with Supernatural and Hypnotic powers."

Tosh let out a small laugh and lent over the desk slightly, resting on her elbows. "Is there another reason why you took such a disliking to...it?"
"God...You're so like Ianto. You know me too well."
"So there is?"

Jack signed heavily, gulping down some of his whisky and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes.
"I don't see any point in hiding this...God...I haven't even told Ianto..."
"I can get him up here? You can tell him first..."
"That thing won't leave his side. Anyway, I'd feel better knowing your reaction first; seeing as your both so alike."
Tosh nodded understandably and gave Jack an encouraging smile, even though she knew he couldn't see her because his eyes were closed.

"There's two parts to it really. You know that I was born in the 51st Century in a place called Boeshane Peninsula don't you?"
Tosh nodded slowly and clasped her hands together. By now, Jack had opened his eyes and was looking at the woman in front of her.
"I've dropped hints in places that I used to be pregnant. No one's ever said anything..."
"I picked up on it..."
"Just like Ianto did...Anyway...I had a baby. A little boy called Gareth."

Tosh let out a small gasp and moved her hand to cover Jacks which was resting on the table.
"He was the most beautiful thing. Massive blue eyes, long brown hair, cheesy grin. He was perfect...He was my world."

Jack had a small smile on his face as he remembered the past.
"You always said that you were never getting pregnant again though...By what you said, it doesn't sound too bad..."
"It was worth it at the end...I got Gareth. The pregnancy was terrible though. It's that I never want to go through again."
"Pregnancies never easy; not even for a woman. God knows how bad it was for you..."

The man smiled and took a deep breath. "I took him to the circus for his third birthday. His mum was out of town and I wanted to do something special for him. The show was amazing. Gareth couldn't stop gawping. The last act to come on was the clowns. They had these fake guns...The ones where you pull the trigger and the word "Bang" shoots out on a flag. A few of the other clowns had water pistol guns. "

Tosh looked closely into Jack's eyes and noticed there were small tears forming in them. She rubbed a thumb softly over the back of his hand reassuringly.

"The main clown hadn't fired his gun yet so Gareth and I were impatient to find out what it would do. I personally thought it would shoot silly string or confetti out."
Jack sighed heavily and turned his hand so it was gripping onto Tosh's.
"Turns out it was a real gun. The clown was aiming for me but missed. The bullet hit Gareth right through the middle of his chest. "

The Japanese woman watched the man in front of her fall apart as he relived his past. She stood from her chair and moved around the desk so she was crouched down beside Jack, wrapping her arms around him. Jack fell into the embraced and cried softly into her shoulder.

"It was horrible. His eyes were so big and so full of fear. He kept whimpering that he didn't want to die. He said that he didn't want to leave me. I couldn't do anything so save him. "
Jack pulled himself away from Tosh and slammed his hand down hard on the table.
"My son died because I fell in love..." He whispered, staring blankly into the distance. "Tosh...It was my fault...All my fault."

"I don't under..."
"Gareth's mother, Lillian used to be engaged to that clown, Peter. They we're still together when me and Lillian met, but I never knew this until afterwards. She left him to be with me. Ever since then, he'd be trying to track me down. Heavens knows why he became a clown..."

"Oh Jack." Tosh rubbed her hand on Jack's knee and looked up and him apologetically. "It wasn't your fault. You weren't to know."
"I should have jumped in front of him!" Jack growled angrily, standing up suddenly. He grabbed the closest thing to him, the pen and pencil pot, and hurled it as far as he could across the room, not wincing in the slightest as it smashed into a window and chipped the glass.

"I was his father. I should have been able to protect him. I should have taken that bullet for him."

"There was nothing you could do Jack..."

Tosh reached her hand up and placed it gently on Jack's shoulders. The man flinched gently and then looked at Tosh with tears streaming down his face.
"Seeing him...That boy...It made me remember...I don't want that..."

The Japanese woman just opened her arms and sighed as Jack fell weakly into the embrace and gripped hold of her cardigan.
"You should tell Ianto..." She whispered gently into his ear.
The only reply she got was a small nod upon her shoulder and a light sniff.
"He won't think any less of you...If that's what you're worried about..."

Jack lifted his head and looked down at Tosh. He nodded slowly, then resumed to his previous position and held onto her tightly.
"Thank you..." He whispered softly, as a new set of tears cascaded down his cheeks.

The gentle mood was interrupted by an unannounced visitor bursting through the door.
"Tosh, we need you..."

The woman in question held out up her hand to silence Gwen when she looked at Jack and went to start asking questions.

"We're having trouble with the boy. You seemed to connect with him...So...?"

Tosh nodded and ran a hand through Jack's hair. "I'll be down in a second. Tell Owen to sing him a nursery rhyme. "
Gwen chuckled and smiled broadly. She was about to open the door to leave when she turned on her heels and gestured to Jack.
"Is he okay?" She mimed.

The woman nodded gently and nodded in the direction of the door, showing Gwen that she wasn't needed.

When the door was shut and Gwen was safely out of the way, Tosh gently eased herself away from Jack and looked into his eyes.
"I better go help..."
"Yeah..." The man whispered, rubbing his hand roughly over his face to clear his tears. "I'm sorry...For this..."
Tosh shook her head and smiled. "No need for apologies. You needed it out of your system..."
"I guess..."

The technician moved hesitantly and kissed Jack lightly on the cheek, before making her way over to the door. She turned, just like Gwen had previously done, and gave the man a smile, before leaving to go to the autopsy bay.

Jack sighed as the door shut. He had never spoken about Gareth to anyone before. Not to John. Not even Estelle. He wished he'd told Ianto first, but Tosh was right; he needed the grief out of his system. Jack felt like a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
It felt good to talk, he thought to himself.

He knew it would be a lot harder telling Ianto. Yes, he knew that he used to be pregnant, but they had never spoken about it. Apart from the time where Ianto wanted to top Jack and he had asked if there was any way that he would become pregnant.

Ha...That was an awkward moment during the throws of passion...Jack thought.

The one thing that Jack didn't want was for Ianto to be ashamed of him. He had done things in his past that he wasn't proud of, and it made him feel sick to his stomach just thinking about them. The horror of what happened with Gareth was definatly one of them. Jack had taken what Tosh had said to him into account, but most of him still believed that it was his fault.

Jack sighed and sat himself at the desk. He eyed the half empty glass on the table and groaned inwardly, before picking it up and necking back the contents. After a sharp hiss, Jack ran his hand through his hair. He needed to face the team. Face the boy. It was the only way that he would be able to hope with his feelings; his past; his emotions.

Next Chapter: Owen run's some tests on our little boy. :]