Days went by, then weeks, then months. Hogsmead weekends came and went, the leaves had fallen from the trees and winter approached with a frightening speed and before she knew it, it was the day before Christmas holidays and all Hogwarts students were getting ready to go home. Hermione had found herself spending more and more time with the people of the past. Tentatively making new friends with her dorm mates and anyone else who dared approach her. Slowly she was feeling like herself again. She would never get over the events which had happened, but she was positive she could live through them. So slowly but surely she had begun to smile again. Really smiling, really laughing. But as the holidays begun approached she had found her smiles were becoming forced. And that her laughter sounded bitter, even to her own ears. She supposed it was only natural. She would be alone for Christmas, the thought wasn't exactly appealing to her. And now, she sat in a corner of the library, avoiding at all costs the buzz of people in her dormitory packing to go home tomorrow. She had been peacefully reading (albeit every time she turned a page she mentally apologized to the book for doing it so violently), minding her own business, until suddenly a body plopped itself down in the seat across from her.
"There you are! I've been looking everywhere!" James reached across the table and grabbed the book.
"Hey! I was reading that!" She cried indignantly.
"Hold on a minute, I'll give it back!" his eyes crinkled as he grinned at her. Suddenly Hermione was struck by just how happy he looked. He reached up and ruffled his hair with one hand, laying her book on the table as he did so. "Lilly tells me your staying here for Christmas break."
Grabbing her book back she started looking for the page she had been on. "Yes, unfortunately." she said crossly. "I've told you that before as well."
"Oh." he looked put out for a moment before he gained his momentum. "Well, we can't have that now can we! Get your things packed, your coming home with me and Sirius. Mum's just overjoyed to have another girl around the house, and there's plenty of room."
"Sirius and I." Hermione muttered, still looking for her page. Then she realized what he'd said. "No." she stated with wide eyes, looking up at him. "I can't… Dumbledore-"
"Spoke with him, he didn't have a problem with it, said that you could do whatever you pleased." James grinned at her. "I'm not taking no for an answer. You better go pack or I'll be dragging you home and you'll have nothing to wear but your school robes all Christmas." James got up and left the table. "See you later Hermione!" he waved over his shoulder but Hermione was too busy hiding her blushing face behind her book.
Why did these things happen to her? Of all the people to invite her home for the holidays it had to be James Potter. And she knew that if she refused to go they would cause havoc in her life for weeks to come. She gave up on finding her page and put her head on the table. "Guess I should go pack." she whispered to herself, not realizing that a small smile had appeared on her face. A real smile at that. It looked like she wouldn't be spending the holidays alone after all.
Why she had agreed was beyond her. She knew she should have said no and stuck to her guns. And it was no one's decision but her own in the end. She all too willingly allowed James to twist her rubber arm and now she sat in the living room of the Potters home with James and Sirius. The night had grown late, Mrs. And Mr. Potter had gone to sleep many hours ago.
"Do you think I should send Lily a Christmas gift?" James asked suddenly. They had been sitting quietly, listening to the radio. Hermione had been curled up on the couch reading with Sirius next to her trying not to fall asleep.
"Yes. Why not?" Hermione answered, glancing over the top of her book at James. He was sitting on the floor, thumbing through an old magazine he had found lying around.
"I don't know… She doesn't seem all that fond of me really." James answered in an almost exasperated tone.
"I wonder why." stated Hermione with a dry laugh. "Perhaps you should let her see that your not all jokes and games. She seems to take things fairly seriously… maybe, if you give her a gift, nothing extravagant mind you, she'll realize that you're actually serious, that you actually like her and it isn't just some sort of joke. Give her a book or something." Hermione felt her stomach twist in a strange way. She went back to reading her book but found she couldn't quite concentrate as well as she would like.
Sirius was snoring lightly. Head lolling onto his shoulder. Hermione put her book down and watched him for a moment. He looked so relaxed and unguarded. It struck her as oddly familiar sitting here with the two boys. One dozing innocently and the other one fretting over something that she knew (for a fact because Harry's existence proved it) he would eventually succeed in doing. She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the back of the sofa. She could imagine it was Ron and Harry there with her. Relaxing a the burrow, hearing the crackling of the fire, any minute now Ginny would seat her self down on the floor and start exclaiming about something or other in the excitable way she always spoke. Hermione tried to imagine their faces, their voices, what they would be talking about… But she found she was having a hard time bringing it all into focus.
Opening her eyes she found James watching her curiously. "Seems everyone's falling asleep on me." He said with a smile.
Hermione yawned, "Seems so. We can't all keep up with the almighty James Potter I'm afraid." Hermione poked Sirius with her foot, he swatted at her leg but groggily sat up straight and rubbed at his face. Mumbling something along the lines of "I'm going to bed" he got up and trudged upstairs dragging his feet as he went.
"I'm off to sleep too." Hermione rose to follow Sirius grabbing her book and tucking it under her arm. James followed turning off the lights as he went. They walked up stairs together, chuckling as they heard Sirius bang his foot on his bed and his quiet cursing afterwards.
Grabbing her things from the guest room she took them to the bathroom where she quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she realized how incredibly old she felt. But the reflection in the mirror stated otherwise. The young girl staring back at her did not reflect the person she felt was on the inside. Sighing she told herself she was thinking too much. Turning off the light she opened the door. And collided with none other than James, caught off guard they both tumbled to the ground.
James grabbed her and twisted them around just in time to avoid smashing into a small table in the hall way. They remained still for a moment, holding their breath waiting for the sound of someone waking up because of the noise. After a minute of silence Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Hermione found herself in a precarious position. Having twisted to avoid the table James had found himself on top of Hermione.
Staring down at her James for the first time realized how fragile she looked. The startled expression on her face as they fell would have been funny if it hadn't brought him back to the first day he'd seen her. The panic on her face as she staggered up to them and all the blood… it had left an impression. He could only imagine how she felt.
He had been shocked into silence by their proximity, it took him almost a full minute to realize that she wasn't moving… or breathing. And then another 30 seconds before he realized she was listening to see if they'd woken anyone up. James thanked Merlin for the darkness, otherwise the blush which had risen to his cheeks would have caused much further embarrassment. "Sorry, are you okay?" James practically whispered.
"Yeah- Yeah I'm fine, sorry about that." She felt his breath on her skin and wondered why every muscle in her body had tensed like a coil. "Um…"
"Oh, sorry." James got to his feet, taking Hermione's elbow and helping her as he did. "Right, you sure your okay?"
"Yes, absolutely… Good night James." Hermione looked at the floor and hurried away to her room. Shutting the door quietly behind her she then ran to her bed and flew under the covers in record time. Burying her face in her pillow she attempted to hide the blush on her face from the only one in the room… herself.