A/N: I believe I forgot to answer all your reviews...I'm so terribly sorryXD It's test week and I still want to update, so...:3 Sorry for the bad Coca Cola Zero-thingXD I just had to put it in^^
Enjoy LxLight^^
6. Before
It was L.
…It was L?
It was L?!
It was L!!
Light blinked and stared at the bewildered face that had became so familiar to him, yet so far away for too long. The same white, flawless skin, with the same wide, black eyes that looked as surprised as Light felt. The same black hair and the same crouch. The same careless clothing and the same pile of sugar cubes next to a cup of coffee and a piece of apple cake.
L.
"H-hi…" Light mumbled, L still looking at him with those big eyes, his face perfectly blank. There were times that Light couldn't read L, and this was a great example, though L's face being totally blank mostly meant L deep in thought or spacing out, he'd discovered long ago. After a few seconds, L indeed seemed to wake up from a trance involving Light's eyes and smiled a little.
"May I ask Light-kun how he's doing…?"
Light smiled too. "Running, eh. How are you doing?"
L smirked. "You saw the annoying red appendage (Light had to think of Hikaru, suddenly) a week ago? Meet Yoki. Less than two days and I'm freed of him. It's a miracle I'm sitting here without him, but he thinks I'm to the groceries store for whipped cream and chocolate sauce…"
Light blinked. "Wait, that…thing wasn't your boyfriend?!"
L frowned. "No way. He's another bet. I was bored, he showed up and said I had two choices: Staying with him for a month or being stalked and raped. I could've disappeared and have him sentenced, but I was bored and I thought this might make things interesting. Stupid way of thinking, isn't it…?"
Light smiled. "I already felt insulted that you chose someone ugly and annoying after…well, me. Like I'm not worth anything…"
L's gaze sharpened a little, and he pointed at the seat in front of him.
"Sit down, Light-kun, would you like some tea?"
Light shook his head. "No, I'm not gonna let you pay for that…"
L raised a hidden eyebrow and Light realized that was the lamest excuse he could use for the way too rich L to go away. He laughed a little and sat down.
"I can't stay too long, I'll have to go home once…"
L smiled. "I know. Watari could bring you, or I could. I could pay for a taxi…"
Light shook his head. "It's fine, Ryuzaki, I wanted to jog for a while and I can sprint home if necessary. Don't worry about that."
He smiled, L smiled back and Light realized how familiar it was. This whole conversation, L's presence, the idea of spending the evening with him and going home together…It was so natural. Like they never broke apart...
"Here it is."
L passed Light his tea and offered him a piece of cake too, but Light rejected it. He still had to run, after all, and it had been less than an hour ago that he'd had his dinner. He glanced at L's apple cake anyways and L pricked a piece of it on his fork, and held it in front of Light's mouth. Without thinking, Light took it, and it tasted great.
Apple cake. Light's secret love, together with cherry pie. L knew about it, Hikaru didn't. How emphasizing…
He giggled a little when he realized what he was doing, and suddenly felt like a naughty child sharing his older brother's stolen cookies with his cute little love. It didn't feel bad, or like betraying Hikaru. It was natural.
But Hikaru wouldn't understand.
It got late, and after an hour of chatting like they'd always done and five cups of coffee, four slices of apple cake, too many weird looks from others to count and twenty piles of sugar cubes having collapsed, Light had found out that L would be going back to England as soon as he was freed from Yoki, with no intentions of coming back. The world was small for him, Light knew, but he said it so…easily. As if he didn't care that Light would lose the last hope to speak to him again. It hurt a little, but Light seemed to be hurt easily nowadays, so he ignored it.
L found out about Hikaru, wasn't particularly happy about it and didn't put much effort in hiding that. He grinned when he found out that Hikaru indeed was an accountant-manager. The longer Light talked to him, the less he believed that L was actually closer to Hikaru than to Light, in ages. L was childish, he made childish remarks, he acted childish and he pouted when Light said Hikaru was taller, after he'd asked it. He smirked darkly and asked who was better in bed (or outside of it, with L and/or Light you never knew), and for a moment Light was stunned, blushed and didn't know what to say. He already knew how L would react if he said he was better: Happy, childish, proud and mockingly; but the last two would only be visible if you were familiar with L's facial expressions.
Light sighed. "I have to admit I don't think I'll ever meet someone better than you, and you know that very well."
Light looked away, and when he didn't receive a response or L dancing on the table, he looked back to meet a more serious gaze that hadn't appeared yet, this evening. He turned his head to L again and looked at him questioningly.
"Does Hikaru-san give Light-kun all he needs, and I'm not talking about material things…?"
Light blinked in surprise and caught off-guard, he shook his head and startled when he realized what he was doing.
"I see. I believe Light-kun tried everything he could, but 'that Hikaru-san keeps on rejecting him. This explains the insecure look in his eyes. I haven't seen you like this much often, Light-kun."
Light only blinked, used to L's deduction skills, and decided it was no use trying to hide things for L. He needed to talk about it anyway and who was a better candidate than L, not looking at the current state of their relationship…? He sighed.
"It's true. Hikaru is perfect in every way-" L snorted- "except from his over-working and his lack of childish humor, and the fact that he doesn't pay any attention to my body, never touches me if I haven't pushed him and most of the time doesn't want sex. If we do, it's good, but every sex is good when you haven't had anything in a week. We somehow lack communication, I think."
L tilted his head to the side. "Isn't that why you'd participate in a relationship…?"
Light jumped up and slammed his hands on the table.
"Exactly!! See, YOU understand me!! Finally!!"
"…I suggest Light-kun sits down again, if he doesn't wish to share this conversation with others."
Light sighed and ignored the looks of the other persons in the warm café. L smiled, asked for Light's left hand, pulled it to his side of the table and glanced at the expensive watch Light had worn for years now. It would always be his favorite. Light shivered under L's touch. His fingertips were soft...
"I also suggest Light-kun goes back now, Hikaru-san might get worried about him." He let Light's hand go and stood up, and Light did the same. L paid for everything he ate and Light almost fainted when he saw what L had to pay for it. This appeared to be an expensive café…Though he hadn't kept track of how much L had actually eaten, that could make the price shoot into the air too.
They walked outside, stopped and smiled at each other. It felt weird that they wouldn't go home together. They had to say goodbye now. L shifted uneasily and tilted his head to the side. "Well…I guess I'll have to say goodbye to Light-kun…"
Light startled. L was going back to England, he was going to leave him, for Light didn't know how long…But he was going to miss him, he wanted him to stay…
"Are you really going, Ryuzaki?"
L nodded. "I guess so."
He turned his eyes to Light and looked at him from under his black bangs. "But if you can give me a reason to stay…"
Why did Light feel like L had stopped in that café because he wanted to meet him? Why, oh why.
Yeah, leave the question marks out.
He smiled nonetheless. "I don't know anymore…Hikaru or you…? We broke up, after all, and Hikaru and I are together now…"
L smirked. "Maybe I should help you a little." He stepped closer to Light and pressed his lips on Light's softly, and kept them there a few seconds before Light felt them move, and instinctively did the same. L smelled nice, like coffee with milk and sugar, and apple cake. And L. Light felt L's arms wrap around his waist and hold him close, and he couldn't but do the same, this felt so familiar, so good and so natural…The kiss got deeper and Light felt his heart beat. This was like a first kiss, but at the same time like they'd done it yesterday for the last time. It however was special, L's lips were soft, like they always were, and he kissed Light so tenderly…Light melted. This was what he was made for. This intimacy. This little world he shared with L.
He blinked when L pulled back a little, and his face hovered an inch away from Light's, their noses touched.
"I can wait for you, Light-kun. Just not too long."
He pressed a last kiss on Light's lips, one that took too long and too short at the same time. All the clichés about perfect kisses sailed through the part of Light's brain that could still think somehow. Suddenly, L's warmth was gone, he smiled one last time and turned around, walking away. Light kept on staring at the slouched form of his ex-boyfriend, intoxicated by the presence and actions of the person he'd never stop loving.
L.
Ryuzaki.
Sigh.
Light blinked and realized people from the café were staring at him with homophobe looks, and suddenly felt embarrassed. How long had he been standing there, how had he looked and blushed…? Hard, most likely. He thoughtlessly turned around and jogged back home, the taste of L's lips lingering on his, L's arms around his waist and his fingers stroking him through the jogging suit he was wearing. He snickered when he thought about the fact that L had smelled like coffee, and Light like sweat, probably. Natural…? L had once said Light's sweat smelled nice, as long as he showered once in a while. Light thought the same about L, though L didn't sweat much and showered every day too. Sweat contained pheromones, one of the main reasons for people to feel sexually attracted to someone else, and later to become familiar that person's body. Maybe there was something with Light and Hikaru's pheromones…Hikaru had never made Light that hot that he wanted to rip the clothes off Hikaru's body, and…no need to mention the amount of attraction Hikaru felt to Light.
Light stopped by one of the trees in the park, where he'd laid with L long ago, sat down and pulled his vest out, trying to smell a little L. Only a little bit, a tiny bit would be enough…But he detected nothing. Only himself, detergent and maybe a little of Hikaru's closet (Light had his own department, they didn't mix up clothes). He sat there for a little longer and stared into nowhere, totally disappearing in L-memories. So many L-memories. Shopping with Dex, L and Asuka (Dex' roommate), laughing at everyone who glanced at them with their stupid homophobic stares. Going to the cinema and miss half of the movie because L was in a funny mood and needed to make dry remarks every three seconds, so that they had to watch it later in some private cinema L had hired. Baking together with him, brownies and cupcakes, to delight Sachiko with it. Later on L would eat it all anyway, together with Sayu, because Sachiko was on some diet that never worked.
L dripping after a shower and forgetting the marble floor in the hall, before slipping painfully, causing his butt to literarily turn blue. His Dad smiling when L was the first one to congratulate him with his birthday. L falling asleep on the couch, his head resting on Light's shoulder. L behind his laptop, talking with the head of the FBI. L kicking him in the face in one of their everyday-fights. L close to Light, whispering his name. L dropping a pile of expensive plates on the new carpet with an uninterested gaze and a lame 'oops'. L unconsciously touching the small bruise on his cheek Light had caused. L talking to Mello over the phone, telling him how to make chocolate milk. L staring up at the air dreamily and taking Light's hand in his.
L.
Light loved him to no end.
He startled when he realized how late it had to be, went home as fast as he could and thought of an excuse for being so late, but when he stepped in and went to the main room, Hikaru didn't even look up.
"Hello, Light, love. Was it nice?"
Light sighed. "It was nice."
He saw Hikaru smile. "Please shower before going to bed, okay? I see you tomorrow."
Light wondered if he wanted to kiss Hikaru goodnight or not. He decided not to. L had kissed him.
"Okay. Bye."
Hikaru turned around. "Wait…Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?"
Light smiled. "Only if you come here." Hikaru was too uninterested for that anyway.
…He stood up and walked over to Light, took his face in his hands and kissed his cheek.
"I know I'm not always that affectionate, but you must know that I love you, okay?"
Light blinked and froze, and Hikaru thought it was out of surprise, and kissed his boyfriend on his lips lightly. Would he taste L, would he know it…? He pulled away and flashed a smile at Light, before going back to work. Light hadn't detected anything wrong. He had to remind himself to act normal and turned around, to the bathroom. It was confusing. Hikaru was confusing, L was confusing, and he suddenly had to think about the last thing L had said.
"I can wait for you, Light-kun. Just not too long."
He didn't know what he wanted anymore. Why did everything have to be so hard and confusing…? Why?! Why didn't he know what he had to do, like he normally did…? He wanted L, he wanted him so badly, but they broke up, he was with Hikaru now and Hikaru loved him too, after all…He loved Hikaru too, right…?
Light pitied that the shower couldn't pour the right answer into his head.
***