Chapt. 6

"On the Road Again"

On that last note the door to the hallway opened abruptly with a loud creaking that bounced off the walls around them. Sam and Dean entered Bobby's study, but stopped just inside without closing the door behind them. Several long moments went without anyone saying a word as they all stared with mouths agape at each other. Then in unison they all erupted;

"Uh, Bobby?"

"Sam?"

"Dean?"

"Uhm, me?"

Wow. Chaos. Let's for good measure throw in a;

"Cas?"

Okay, now we're getting somewhere!

"Bobby, what's going on?" Sam asked hesitantly.

The older hunter, now obviously deceased, cocked his head and made his very best "bitch-face" as he replied in a grouchy tone; "Well, considering the two of you idjits left me here to rot, I sincerely say; bite me!"

Real Dean made a sound of exhaustion and shared a long look with his brother.

"Bobby, dude, come on. It's been a long season," he said.

Apparently now declared NotSoReal Dean laughed dryly.

"Okie dokie, that's it. I'm so out of here. Listen, buddy, I'm the alternate reality you from the past. You need to get on the wagon and I am desperately needing to get off it! So, have fun! Good times!"

With that he turned and left the room.

Real Dean scratched his head, while briefly giving the departing him's back a confused look, before it disappeared through the door-way. With a bewildered expression he turned back to Bobby, who rolled his shoulders in a quiet resigned gesture.

Feeling somewhat ignored, Cas exclaimed pointedly, "What he said!"

Then he stalked after NotSoReal Dean to the hallway, brushing past the confused brothers.

When the last thread of trench coat had disappeared, Real Dean tilted his head and exhaled slowly.

"Bobby, we need to find Dick!"

NotSoReal Dean's head appeared suddenly in the open doorway, a look of uttermost confusion and panic on his face.

Sam shrugged.

"Yeah, we're getting desperate. What we're doing is not enough."

NotSoReal Dean blinked twice and his mouth opened.

Real Dean's eyes flared up with intense fire as he continued;

"When I find Dick, I'm gonna …"

He stopped speaking at the sound of heavy boots hitting the floor hard as someone ran down the hall and out of the house, the entrance door slamming almost off it's hinges.

"What was that about?" Sam asked bewildered.

"It was probably you, Sammy, I told you to lay off those beans." Real Dean replied in a grumpy tone.

Bobby shook his head again. At least Lucifer had disappeared as well. Not that the ghost could remember exactly when the fallen angel had appeared to begin with. He shrugged and the idea fell from his mind altogether. He barely had a moment to wonder why Dean and Sam hadn't reacted more to the alternate Dean and Cas, before that too evaporated from his mind.

"We need to find Cas!" Dean growled through gritted teeth.

The angel looked at him with an expression of deep concern. "I am right behind you, Dean."

"The real Cas. I mean, the other Cas. Jesus, man! This is a frigging nightmare!"

He stopped, the green eyes widening as he blinked ferociously.

"God, my eggs feel totally scrambled. Seriously, are you sure you didn't send us here, by accident or something?"

"I did not ..."

"... have sex with that woman, yeah, sure, whatever you say, man." Dean stopped blinking, before scratching his head. Then light flickered back into his eyes as he suddenly smiled. "My baby … We go back, steal the Impala ..."

"Dean ..."

"... I mean, it wouldn't really be stealing, it's my car goddammit!" Dean ignored the angel trying to get his attention. "We steal my baby, get the hell out of Dodge, find the real you, and ..."

"Dean!"

"What?"

They were suddenly standing face to face again, the angel leaning in on him in a way that made Dean feel just a little uncomfortable. Or would have, if he hadn't been so shell-shocked from this whole "alternate reality"- thing. His face went red with anger and frustration as the angel leaned even further towards him and spoke in a calm voice.

"Your car is gone."

"What`ya mean gone?" Dean shook his head. "If she's been busted up again, I swear to God, I am seriously going to kill him. I mean, myself." He made a pained face. "Other me!"

"No, Dean. It is gone. Disappeared. Removed from this reality's storyline."

Castiel pressed his lips together and arched his eyebrows in the best "blue eyed puppy"-look the angel could muster, in a desperate attempt to show empathy and compassion, as the man in front of him now looked like someone who had just been told his wife had been kidnapped, and possibly brutally butchered, by a deranged psychopath.

"Why?" Dean asked in a weak voice, his quivering lips making the word barely audible.

"Someone spoke of a french gamble mistake, though I did not understand that reference. Perhaps it was used to pay gambling debt in a french casino. Humans are very illogical beings, I don't understand much of anything you people do."

Feeling overwhelmed, Dean raised his chin, bloody murder now written all over his face.

"Oh, no ... No, no, no! I am not accepting this! I am getting my baby back if it's the last thing I do."

Castiel looked like he was going to protest, but Dean cut him off as soon as the lips parted.

"Shut your pie-hole! I don't care if I am destined to be an angel's butt-monkey or even if I have to do it sober. No one screws with my girl!"

"Aw, isn't he just the cutest thing?"

Lucifer stood leaned against a tree, his yellow teeth biting into a red apple and juice glistening down his cheek. He smiled at his brother, chewing with an open mouth. Castiel frowned at him, before turning slowly to Dean. "Is this what they are referring to when they speak of humping the fish?"

Dean groaned again. "Jumping the shark, Cas. Jumping the shark!"

He turned around and started towards the automobile graveyard ahead of them.

"And hell if I know! Let's go find you. Then you can help me find my baby. Maybe even my demon-loving brother back in Funky Town. I swear, if I get out of here, I'll forgive him everything. He can do every demon we meet, male or female, from Kansas to Paris!"

"I think someone's marbles are loosening," Lucifer commented, with a smirk.

"I don't see what expensive stone has to do with Dean," Castiel said angrily, leaving his laughing brother behind as he hurried to follow Dean.

It didn't take Dean long to find a suitable car, even less time to hot-wire it back to life. It wasn't quite the Impala, but it ran and had a full gas tank. It would have to do. As soon as the engine roared, the stereo flickered on and the sound of Celine Dion cracked through the old speakers.

In the middle of the night

I'm going down `cause I adore you

I want to floor you

Dean hit the off button so hard it felt like his finger broke with the impact. The angel tilted his head at him with a slight frown.

"Dean, I like that song. Why did you turn it off?"

"You got to be kidding me ... Because it sucks!"

"But, Dean ..."

"No way, man. We are not listening to that crap while I am still breathing. And if you start singing I swear I will punch you in the face."

Castiel`s brow creased, his blue eyes narrowing with annoyance.

"You tried that already. My face almost broke your wrist."

The hunter gave him a smile and a sideways nod as he replied gleefully;

"But it was worth it!"

"Maybe," the angel tried with a sigh, "we should set aside our past differences and ..."

Dean, going through the radio-frequencies, finally managed to drown Castiel`s voice out with some heavy electric guitars that sent vibrations through the steering wheel as he drove the car onto the open road.

It was a short-lived relief, as the radio suddenly died down and was replaced by the same silky voice, now coming from the back-seat.

"He's right, you know." Lucifer sighed with pleasure. "Celine Dion, one of my favorite torture devices. An eternity of the Power of Love and the subject is ripe to start gnawing the flesh off his own arms. It's a beautiful thing!"

The fallen angel leaned back and placed his arms behind his neck, singing softly;

Even though there may be times

It seems I'm far away

Never wonder where I am

`Cause I am always, by your siiide!

Dean moaned in despair and began banging his head against the steering wheel between his hands.

"Oh, God, please kill me now."

As Castiel gave him a small look, the hunter's knuckles went white in response.

"Don't you say a word, or so help me!"

Sometimes I am friiightened

but I'm ready to learn

Of the power of looove

Dean tried jabbing the radio a few times, thinking it might be easier just to run the damned car into the nearest tree. He'd consider it on the way. Sounded a hell of a lot more pleasant than gnawing his arms off.