Disclaimer: Don't own Final Fantasy or any of its characters; Square Enix does.

Warning: Necessary stuff, not very interesting, though.

What They Leave Behind

Chapter 6

Another Christmas

Cloud had been dreading this day for a very long time. Under normal circumstances, he loved Christmas. He loved waking up early and going downstairs to check out the Christmas tree, all lit up with sparkling lights with shiny Christmas presents tucked underneath the tree's branches. He remembered being very young, and Basch exploding into his and Roxas's room at four or something and waking them each up. They'd file down the stairs (shushing each other as not to wake up Mom and Dad) and then pick up presents, shake them around a bit or—Cloud's most successful method—peek through the folds in the wrapping to see what was underneath. They'd then begin the countdown until they could rouse Mom and Dad (and exactly one minute before eight, they would send Cloud, the easiest to bully into it, to wake Mom and Dad). After that, they'd open presents and Mom would prepare the traditional breakfast, eggs benedict, and they would spend the rest of the day playing with their gifts while Mom and Dad prepared Christmas dinner.

Christmas would still have been nice, except after they opened gifts now, they had to visit him. They had to bring their gifts to him, darkening the day that was supposed to be happy, and watch him open them while the hospital scent filled their nostrils and made them nauseous. They had to spend the entire day there, in that small, uncomfortable room, under those florescent lights, and count the minutes until they would be released.

The clock on his nightstand flashed six-thirty. Basch would be coming in any minute now, pulling Cloud out of bed. They'd (more like he'd) examine their presents and then settle into the sofa to watch a Christmas movie while they waited until eight. Cloud heard the muted footsteps pad across the hall to his room. He grabbed his extra pillow and covered his head. This day was going to be long as it was, why make it even longer?

Cloud didn't hear the door open, but he did feel the blankets being torn away from his body. Cold air gnawed at his skin and he growled, shooting up and trying to grab them out of Basch's hand. "Come on, get up, Cloud. It's Christmas!"

Cloud made a rude gesture and then pointed to the alarm clock. "Um…we still have an hour and a half!"

Basch took Cloud's open gesture as an invitation to grab onto Cloud's wrist and pulled him to his feet. "Let's go. You're going to love your presents this year. I went with Mom to buy them."

"You say that every year," Cloud grumbled, thinking about the year his mother bought him puke yellow sweat pants and shirt, and Basch hadn't stopped her.

"I mean it this time."

He dragged Cloud of his bedroom (and Cloud had to tear his bathrobe off his dresser as he passed it) and downstairs. As always, the presents were out and gleaming out in the lights around the tree. Basch grinned at Cloud as Cloud plopped down on the carpet near the tree and spaced out (though Basch was oblivious to that) and said, "Mom color-coded our presents this year. I have the gold presents, you have red, and Roxas has green. Here, look, this one is yours." He stuck a small box under Cloud's nose.

Cloud snatched it, angry at his brother for ruining his morning, and stared at the present. "Why don't you just sort through your gifts and leave me to my own devices?"

Basch shrugged, looking for another red present. "I was there when Mom bought my gift. I'm excited for what you got. This is the ultimate gift," he told Cloud, offering him a larger, heavier box. "You have to open that one first, otherwise the other gifts will give it away."

Cloud blinked. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"And Zack and Seifer have a present for you, too." Zack always gave him…nice…useless…gifts, stuff that puzzled Cloud as to what the hell they were. Seifer, on the other hand, liked to torture Cloud. Last Christmas, he'd gotten Cloud a dildo. Cloud had no words. What the heck was it for? It was for girls. Exactly why Seifer gave it to him, no doubt. He'd thrown it away before Mom saw. "You can open it now, if you want," Basch continued. He handed a box to him and sat cross-legged on the floor next to him.

"Why do they give me gifts? I don't give them gifts."

Basch rolled his shoulders. "You don't have a job, and you most certainly don't have money. They think of you as a brother."

Cloud peeled back the wrapping paper (he was surprised it was wrapped this time, however…asymmetrically it was; last year they'd wrapped his gifts and taped them shut in paper towels). A box of tissues? An ultimate low, even for Seifer. So he was emotional—it wasn't like he didn't have reason to be upset.

Basch pointed. "It's in there."

Cloud followed his finger and somewhat doubtfully stuck his finger into the tissues (the protective plastic had been broken, so perhaps there was something more after all). When he met something hard, he wrapped his fingers around it and pulled it out. "Keys?"

Basch beamed. "Yep. It's not much, but it's still a lot. Seifer was going to take it to the junk yard because of the oil leak and its age—he wasn't going to get any money out of it. It's like twenty years old and its mileage is…like three-hundred thousand. But it'll last you a few years."

"Seifer gave me his car?"

"His old one. The Acura you said that could be your grandmother. Like I said, he was going to take it to the junk yard, but Zack suggested you have it. And they changed the oil and transmission fluid, filled it up with gas, and Seifer found the key that opens the trunk because you can't open it from the driver's seat anymore."

The fact that Seifer gave him a piece of shit car—a car without AC or heating, a car whose speakers were shot in the back and static-prone in the front, a car whose radio and tape player randomly turned off or whose brake light randomly turned on, a car whose trunk didn't open unless the key was handy (and Seifer had immediately lost that once he bought it), a car whose sunroof didn't close all the way, so the day after it rained, the inside of the car smelled like mildew—should have made him mad. It probably wouldn't even run! But it didn't. He couldn't hide the light in his eyes as he looked at the key in a new way.

Basch couldn't hide his excitement. "I always said when you got your first car, I'd get you really good speakers, but…well, that'll be your next car. This one isn't worth spending money on. It won't last much longer, so I didn't get you that. Instead I got you headlights—not that great of a present, but I'd die if you drove that thing around in the dark."

Cloud didn't feel obligated to roll his eyes. He had a car now. And it came from someone who hated his very existence!

Basch stood up. "I know you've ridden in that car before, you know how it looks, but…do you…want to see it? It's out—"

Cloud vaulted to his feet and was out the door before Basch could finish. Basch's chuckling followed him out into the icy cold morning. Sure enough, parked behind Basch's beat-up truck, was Seifer's ancient car. A huge dent on the passenger side door informed him it was the very same, but it didn't look as bad as it used to. He ran his fingers across the sheet of ice cover the silver paint and then he unlocked the door and sat in the driver's seat. Of course, the driver's seat was unadjustable because a very drunk Zack (who was driving for a very much passed out Basch and Seifer) pulled the handle off, so it was permanently (or nearly permanent) stuck as far away from the steering wheel and pedal. Cloud didn't curse Seifer or Zack when he noticed he could only see out the windshield because someone had stuck a fat cushion on his seat (after all, Seifer was a good foot taller than him).

"Can I drive it now?"

"Eh, not today. You don't have insurance in it yet."

Cloud brushed it off. "Just down the street."

Basch shook his head. "No, what if something happened to you?"

Now that pricked his anger. "Just down the street, Basch. Nobody's even driving around right now!"

Basch shook his head. "I can't let you do that."

Basch would never change, would he?

/ - / - / - / - / - /

Cloud slammed the door shut, an ache so strong in his stomach he had to lean on Mom's car so as not to fall over. Basch asked him if he was all right, but he didn't stay around the car for an answer—he, too, was dreading this moment.

Mom and Basch were already on the steps by the entrance by the time the sharp pain subsided. Walking stiffly, Cloud followed them (Mom's calling to him impatiently made him move quickly). Last year, he'd managed to avoid this. Mom had mercy on him, and for once he was glad for his stomach aches, but this year was different. She told him he was doing it on purpose, and she refused to put up with it anymore.

They passed through the threshold together as a group, and Mom went straight to the front desk. "We're here to see Roxas fon Ronsenburg*."

The nurse sorted through a stack of papers, her brows knitted together in thought. Finding what she was looking for, she smiled up at Mom. "Mrs. Strife?" Mom nodded. "All right, he's moved from his old room. Now he's on the third floor, room 314 or Room Shera."

"Rooms named after space shuttles now?" Mom asked, her blue eyes twinkling in a mother's amusement.

The nurse turned the amusement. "They liked the space shuttle names better than the city names."

"I can see Roxas liking space shuttles better than that," Mom said fondly, squeezing Basch's hand. Cloud hid behind them, feeling as if he'd need to stop by the restroom before they went any farther.

Mom led the way to the elevator, and Cloud lingered outside the door. Basch stood in the frame, preventing the doors from shutting. "Cloud, come on."

Cloud made a strained expression and held his stomach as the pain stabbed him. Mom narrowed her eyes. "Cloud Strife! Get in here right now. You're not getting out of visiting your brother this Christmas." She reached out and grabbed his shirt, tugging him inside. "Stop being such a selfish baby. We never get to see him. Roxas asked for you last time. He remembered you."

Cloud wanted to his hate his mother at that moment, but he looked up and saw the tears glistening in her eyes and found he couldn't. He bowed his head. "All right, I won't try to get out of it." He squeezed his eyes shut and stroked his stomach, willing it to calm down.

The elevator let them out on the third floor, and they walked down the long white-walled corridor. One doctor nodded to Mom as she passed him, and she nodded her greeting back. Other than that, nobody acknowledged them in any way. They passed the sitting room, and Cloud silently begged Basch to intervene on his behalf. Basch's back was to him, so it didn't seem to work, but he couldn't say anything. He'd lost his voice to the darkness that crept up on him. He reached out to Basch, as if to catch his arm, but his arm wasn't long enough. Basch was too far away.

Cloud stopped in his tracks and crouched on the floor, holding his knees close to his body and closing his eyes, counting each breath he took. One, two, three, but each breath became more ragged. He couldn't see Roxas. He couldn't bear to see him. Make up an excuse, he told himself, say you're going to the bathroom and then wait outside for Mom. Go hide in a closet or something. Anything.

A hand fell on his shoulder. "Cloud, Cloud, it's going to be all right. Just go sit out in waiting room. You don't have to see Roxas if you're not ready. Mom and I will come and get you when we're ready to leave, okay?"

He could hear an impatient sigh come from behind Basch, but it didn't bother him. All that he felt was the icy grip that was around his stomach slowly recede and the darkness disappear. By the time his breathing evened out, Basch and Mom weren't anywhere nearby.

/ - / - / - / - / - /

Author's Note: The car is important in later chapters, so it wasn't entirely unnecessary to include that part. (And Seifer loves Cloud after all! It makes sense, since Seifer's an orphan, that he can build familial relationships with people who aren't family, despite how much he'd like to pretend he only likes Cloud to pick on) Also, Cloud's inability to visit his brother in a mental hospital says a lot about his character and his problems, so that was important for later chapters, too. Speaking of Roxas, I have a question. What did you think happened to him? Personally, I thought it sounded like he killed himself, but he's clearly alive (though not sane, I guess).

* Cloud is the only one who took his mother's last name, Strife. Basch and Roxas both have their father's last name, fon Ronsenburg.