Three months later, Harm and AJ had experienced several fights over the time Harm had been on bed rest, but their love for each other had never faltered, they were still passionate and the fights only fueled the fire of their passions, they were both eager for Harm's body to recover from the physical brokenness.
Harm groaned as he limped in through the front door, holding onto his side "AJ!" Harm called out as he leaned heavily against the wall, his hands trembling as the mail in his hand fell to the floor, scattering across the hardwoods.
AJ came down the stairs, picking up the scattered envelopes, setting them on top of the bureau, "What's wrong?" AJ asked as he wrapped his arm around Harm's waist and carefully moved him over to the couch.
"I can't… I can't even walk to the end of the driveway!" Harm said as he sat down, holding his head in his hands, his entire body shaking slightly.
AJ sighed as he brushed his hand over Harm's back lightly "You'll get there, Harm, you only just started rehab a week ago." AJ said softly as he laid back on the couch and pulled Harm down in between his legs, "What'd the doctor say about us?" AJ asked as he ran his fingertips across Harm's neck softly.
Harm chuckled as he turned over and planted gentle kisses along AJ's collarbone, "He said… we can… return to… all normal… activity…" Harm said between kisses as he slowly began moving his lips down AJ's bare chest.
"Oh… Oh god…" AJ panted out as his hips lifted off the couch slightly, biting down on his bottom lip tightly.
"Mmm, stay like that." Harm said with a smirk as he hooked his fingers through the waistband of AJ's boxers, slowly divesting AJ of the fabric and tossing it over his shoulder.
"Harm…" AJ gasped out as Harm's head moved down and began slowly sucking the underside of AJ's cock, "Oh god!" AJ growled as he gripped the top of the couch with one hand, his hips bucking upward towards Harm's mouth.
Harm set his hands onto AJ's hips and held him down onto the couch as he wrapped his lips around AJ's cock and began sucking the length down slowly "Harm… Oh fuck… Oh god… I'm… I'm too close!" AJ panted out as his hips wriggled from side to side.
Harm nodded as he swirled his tongue around the base of AJ's cock and slowly pulled up as he looked at AJ with a lustful look in his eyes.
AJ growled from the loss of contact, his brown eyes pinning Harm with a hard stare. Harm giggled as he slowly moved up AJ's body again, "I want you inside of me, daddy." Harm whispered into AJ's ear.
AJ groaned as he wrapped his arms around Harm's shoulder and pulled him down into a hard, possessive kiss.
Harm groaned as he laid down against AJ's chest, nuzzling into his neck and letting out a jaw-cracking yawn, "Harm?" AJ questioned quietly, gently stroking down Harm's back. Harm mumbled something incoherently against AJ's neck. AJ sighed as he continued his ministrations, "Go to sleep Harm, it's okay." AJ whispered as he adjusted on the couch slightly, pulling the blanket down from the back of the couch and wrapping it around their bodies.
AJ continued running his hand up and down Harm's back, soothing him as Harm's breathing began evening out, falling asleep rather quickly. AJ laid there quietly as he carded his fingers through the long black strands of Harm's hair, eventually letting sleep pull him under as well.
An hour later, Harm shot up from his position on the couch, it was an effort but he was eventually up and carefully moving to the kitchen, emptying his stomach contents into the sink.
AJ blinked a couple times at the sudden draft of air rolling over his body "Harm?" AJ called out quietly as he stood up and slipped back into his boxers, walking into the kitchen to see Harm leaning over the sink, letting the water run full stream over his head.
"Harm, what's wrong?" AJ asked as he walked over to Harm and gently rubbed up and down his back. Harm shook his head slowly, the water droplets spraying off his hair in every direction.
AJ sighed as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around Harm's head and drying his hair with tender care, "I don't know what happened… I just got really nauseas all of a sudden… Couldn't hold it down so…" Harm said as he waved his hand over the sink.
Harm shook his head as he sunk down to the tile floor, taking in a shuddering breath as he looked up at AJ "Why can't I shake it? Why is it that every time I close my eyes, all I can see is that day?" Harm questioned shakily, looking down at his trembling hands.
"I don't know Harm, I really don't know what's going on..." AJ said softly as he sat down in front of Harm, grasping Harm's neck lightly in his fingertips "Look at me." AJ commanded in a gentle tone.
Harm lifted his head obediently as he looked up at AJ. AJ inhaled deeply as he ran his thumbs over Harm's neck softly, "I know you won't listen to me if I tell you that you need to see a therapist, but I am telling you, that you need to talk to me. Tell me what you need to say, I will help you through everything. But you need to trust me and open up. Is that understood?" AJ asked, his voice firm and commanding.
Harm nodded his head "I understand, sir." Harm replied quietly as he inhaled shakily and leaned forward, kissing AJ on the lips softly.
"Good, let's go back into the living room… I'll bring us something to drink." AJ said softly as he stood up and helped Harm up to his feet carefully.
Harm shuffled back into the living room and curled up on the couch, plucking at the afghan. AJ grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and walked back into the living room, sitting on the coffee table in front of Harm.
Harm clasped his hands over his knee, chin resting against his chest "Every time I close my eyes and I get into a deeper sleep… All I can see is the darkness, the cold on my body… The blood seeping out of every wound I had. I feel everything from that night, my ribs being broken, my legs… Feel my insides burning and the searing pain of the beating…" Harm shook his head as his body shuddered slightly.
"Keep going, Harm. You're doing good." AJ prodded softly, gently squeezing Harm's hands.
Harm nodded slowly "Every time I get to REM sleep… the nightmares come back, and not just of the beating either, but… That one plays a bigger role in my mind… I see losing my father again, I see the ramp-strike, losing Diane… The mountains when I was with Mac. The things that happened in Russia – Both times – I see the Suribachi… Practically every bad thing that has ever happened in my life. I see it play repeatedly in my mind. The knot in my stomach tightens and it overwhelms me, and the tension eventually releases like it did earlier…" Harm said with a sigh as he slid off the couch slowly and knelt in front of AJ, his head falling to his chest again as the tears rode down his cheeks.
AJ inhaled deeply as he slid his fingers through Harm's hair, gently massaging Harm's scalp, "Breathe Harm… Just relax." AJ whispered soothingly.
Harm eventually climbed back up onto the couch, his tears having subsided as he looked up at AJ, "How do you do it?" Harm asked quietly as he twisted his palms together.
"How do I do what?" AJ asked with a raised eyebrow as he stared back at Harm with a smile on his ace.
"Make me open up like that… make me obey your commands… when you were never able to do so before?" Harm rattled off questions until AJ settled a finger over his lips, ceasing Harm's rambling.
"You've willingly submitted to me Harm, you love me with everything you have inside of you. Before, when I was just the Admiral… You couldn't submit to me, you didn't even know there was a possibility for us…" AJ stated quietly, Harm opened his mouth to say something but AJ shook his head, "You knew you felt something towards me, but you didn't know what it was. I know that harm, but I was never going to take advantage of that until I knew you were ready… I may have waited longer than I should have, considering you almost ran off and got married… But, I knew that the time had come to pass, and I knew what I had to do." AJ said as he gently stroked his finger over Harm's cheek.
"So, I didn't listen to you, because I was fighting the urges that were strongly pulling me in your direction? But now that you're… we're… together… I listen, because I love you?" Harm asked hesitantly.
AJ nodded his head slowly as he leaned forward, kissing Harm on the lips softly "You've given yourself over to me, in spades, Harm." AJ said with finality as he stood up and walked into the open space of the living room, "Come here." AJ commanded as he stared at the floor in front of his feet.
Harm slowly stood up and walked over to AJ, stopping directly in front of him, his entire body tensed as he stood at attention.
AJ chuckled as he looked up from Harm's feet to his face, "Always the golden boy, standing at attention for his superiors." AJ said with a smile as he stepped backwards, Harm easily stepped forward, following AJ's movements, "Good, I didn't have to tell you." AJ said with a smile.
The two men carefully stepped around the living room, Harm following each of AJ's steps "It hurts." Harm whispered harshly after thirty minutes of silence.
AJ sighed as he nodded his head "What hurts? Legs, chest or stomach?" AJ asked curiously as he glanced over Harm's entire body again, noticing the slight tremor of Harm's thigh muscles.
"Legs…" Harm gasped out as a muscle spasm sent him down, AJ quickly grabbed Harm's elbows before he collapsed and straightened Harm back upright, "How long has it been hurting?" AJ asked as he continued holding onto Harm.
"Twenty minutes." Harm replied quietly as he lowered his head to his chin.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" AJ asked, a stern look on his face.
"Didn't… want to disappoint you." Harm stated as his legs wobbled again, collapsing forward into AJ's chest.
"Okay… Okay…" AJ sighed as he carefully walked Harm over to the couch again, lying him down onto his back.
With Harm now lying down, a heating pad covering both of his legs, AJ sat on the coffee table in front of Harm, "I could never be disappointed in you. There is no way that you could do that." AJ said softly as he brushed a few stray hairs out of Harm's face.
Harm nodded tiredly as he looked up at AJ with half-lidded eyes "Never disappoint… daddy is… good to me…" Harm mumbled tiredly, nuzzling into AJ's hand.
AJ sighed as he continued running his fingers through Harm's hair, "Sleep." AJ said in a gentle, yet commanding tone.
Harm nodded as he turned onto his side, closing his eyes completely as sleep took hold of his body once more.
AJ sat in silence as he watched Harm lay there, his entire body relaxed and a look of innocence on Harm's face. Unfortunately the look didn't last as his facial expression twisted into a mix of terror and hurt, AJ checked his watch and shook his head, Harm had only been sleeping for twenty minutes at this point and he was already fighting another nightmare "No… NO! Don't!" Harm shouted in his sleep, squirming and grasping at anything to keep him grounded.
AJ quickly dropped to his knees and cradles Harm's head in his hands, "Harm, relax… C'mon… It's me, come back to me baby." AJ said firmly as he stroked his fingers through Tony's hair softly.
After a few more compassionate words, Harm's body stopped moving and he remained asleep, the nightmares seemingly falling into the abyss. AJ sighed in relief as he continued caressing Harm's head with a gentle and caring touch.