Chapter 6: The Healing Heart
Ichigo walked quietly at Byakuya's side, listening to the intermittent sounds of people talking and birds chirping as the two left the hall of the Noble's General Council and headed towards the park that stood near the sixth division. Tetsuya and Kuri followed a short distance behind, their mounts walking slowly, side-by-side and the two exchanging soft conversation and occasional kisses.
"So, Tetsuya and Kuri really seem like they're in love," Ichigo commented, "Is that okay with you? Kuri's a clan leader and a taichou, but he's...kinda different. You're pretty protective of Tetsuya."
"Shima Kurushimi is different, in both good and unsettling ways," Byakuya agreed, "but the more important fact is that he loves Tetsuya the way my cousin deserves to be loved, and despite having held himself back from love for many years after losing his first husband, Tetsuya has given his heart willingly to Kurushimi. I won't stand in their way."
"They're cute together," Ichigo said, smiling, "They look happy. Do you think they'll get married?"
"They had better, at some point, considering that they have been intimate and showing overt signs of their love in public places. It would be scandalous if they did not. I believe Kurushimi is waiting for the cherry blossom festival to make his proposal, when our families gather for the event."
Ichigo sighed.
"It must be great to have the fun of falling in love like they did...just being themselves, no one interfering, letting it happen on its own and having those moments...that fluttery feeling that tells you you're in love, holding hands, catching each others' eye unexpectedly, kissing and making love for the first time...all of it."
Byakuya was quiet for a moment.
"I am sorry that our own experience has been...less enjoyable."
Ichigo flushed instantly and stopped walking, turning to face his husband and taking Byakuya's hands in his. Behind them, Arashi and Ambrosio came to a stop, and Tetsuya and Kurushimi exchanged curious glances.
"L-look, Byakuya, I didn't mean it like that, really. You've been great. And I am glad that the council married us. I do feel kinda bad that we couldn't just fall in love and go through courtship like other people do, but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate what we have. It's just that what happened to me made things different for us. And that doesn't mean that this kind of different is bad."
Byakuya smiled and nodded in agreement, squeezing Ichigo's hands gently.
"Even before your disappearance, we weren't like other people. Our friendship grew in a way very different from others. We were once enemies, but something in you changed what I felt for you. I respected you as a fighter, then as a friend and protector. And I will confess to you that just before your disappearance, I found myself experiencing feelings of a more intimate nature."
"Really?" Ichigo inquired hopefully, "You were attracted to me...before?"
"There wasn't time for me to confess my feelings to you. I don't know if I would have been able to. And then, you disappeared. As the search stretched out into weeks, then months, then into another year, I regretted that I hadn't spoken to you about the change in my feelings. I don't know how you would have responded or if we would have gotten together at some point."
Ichigo let out an amused breath.
"I don't know either," he admitted, "I liked you a lot, Byakuya, but you always seemed so standoffish."
"Yes," the Kuchiki heir agreed, "It is always easier to hold oneself a bit apart than to risk one's heart. And I had already given my heart to someone and had it broken when I lost her."
"Then, how can you risk that with me?" Ichigo asked uncertainly, "I've already disappeared once, and you said that you think whoever's watching us will try to take me again. Aren't you scared that you'll just lose me too? Or are you just not so much in love with me and only protecting me?"
Byakuya's eyes darkened slightly and his reiatsu flickered, but he said nothing for a moment before capturing Ichigo's soft cheek in one curved palm.
"Why don't you tell me what you feel coming from my heart, Ichigo?" he answered, meeting the surprised Shiba heir for a long, knee-weakening kiss.
As they parted, their eyes remained locked and Byakuya waited silently for some response. After several breathless moments, Ichigo sighed and nodded.
"Sorry," he apologized, "I shouldn't have doubted you. And I shouldn't have complained about how things happened. The important thing is that we do love each other and we are married. I guess our marriage will be what we make of it, won't it? I mean, if we still have some 'falling in love' to do, we can do that even though we're already married, right?"
Byakuya gave him the ghost of a smile.
"I believe so."
The two turned and continued to walk, ending their conversation for a time. As they approached the park, Ichigo frowned and tilted his head, looking more closely at the decorations and gathering of people that dominated the central grounds.
"Byakuya," he said worriedly, "I thought I told you that we shouldn't make a big deal of us being married...that..."
"That our friends would be embarrassed for us, and that it would only focus attention on our situation. I will be honest with you, Ichigo," Byakuya replied, shaking his head at the sight, "I only asked my staff to organize a picnic. Rukia and Renji were going to meet us there as well. But it seems that they heard of our wedding and decided to help us celebrate."
He paused, watching Ichigo's expression carefully.
"We do not have to stay if you don't want to."
"Chad's there...and Orihime and Uryu...some of the taichous and fukutaichous. My dad and sisters are there too. They look happy. They don't look embarrassed for us."
"I agree," Byakuya said approvingly, a slight smirk rising on his lips, "It is not a traditional wedding ceremony, planned months ahead and visited by a host of noble representatives, of course, but I think it has more charm, don't you?"
"Y-yeah," Ichigo breathed softly, blinking to be sure he was seeing correctly, "This is...amazing, Byakuya!"
Byakuya's heart flickered in his chest as Ichigo continued to hold one of his hands, and they approached the group of revelers. As they entered the park, cries of welcome erupted all around and the newly married couple found themselves swallowed up into the group and surrounded with friends and family all pressing in to congratulate them.
"Great, you guys are here, so we can finally eat!" Renji chuckled.
"Always thinking with your stomach, baka!" Rukia scolded him.
"Your meal is ready for you, sirs," Torio invited them, bowing and leading them to the head table.
Byakuya felt a deeper warmth invade his heart as they began to eat, and Ichigo's friends quickly engaged the Shiba heir in lively conversation.
"Rukia and I heard that the council married you two," Renji explained, "and we were happy that you and Kuchiki taichou had managed to make something good out of the bad stuff that happened to you."
"We know it's been hard for you, Ichigo," Chad added solemnly, "and we felt bad that we couldn't be there for you like we wanted to."
"Well, it was Ichigo who said he wasn't up to the company," Uryu said skeptically.
"Yeah," Ichigo laughed, blushing, "I did brush you guys off instead of letting you come and see me. I'm sorry for that."
"You should be," Uryu said, arching an eyebrow, "You'd be the first to say that we shouldn't turn our backs on our friends, just because we need them and they are suddenly doing the protecting, ne?"
Ichigo's blush deepened.
"Uryu, you shouldn't scold him like that," Orihime complained.
"No, it's okay," Ichigo assured her, "Uryu is right. I shouldn't have distanced myself from you, just because I was embarrassed that I was weak."
"You aren't weak, Ichigo," Rukia said sternly.
"I just mean I'm without my powers," Ichigo corrected himself, "Byakuya has got me back in good physical condition...and now, I'm going to let you guys cheer me up, so I'll feel more like normal."
"Sounds like a plan!" Renji said approvingly, "Why don't we start the dancing?"
Ichigo exchanged glances with Byakuya, who nodded in agreement and rose, extending his hand to Ichigo and leading him to the center of the area that had been roped off for dancing. The two took their places as the others gathered around the edges of the dance area. Byakuya's eyes looked calmly down into Ichigo's as an enchanting love song began to play.
Byakuya's eyes look really affectionate. He does love me, doesn't he? Ichigo mused, He might have just been protecting me before, but it's been getting stronger every day. But there's been something holding him back a little.
And I think it might be me.
It's not that he doesn't love me yet. Maybe it's something like Uryu was saying, that I've been holding myself back and dreading being around people who were my friends and comrades before, because I felt like less than the person they remembered. I am different without my powers, but they aren't looking at me differently. I should stop looking at myself that way. Whatever my enemies did to me, whatever they took away, I am still me.
And that's worth something...
to my family...
to my friends...
to Byakuya...
and to me.
"What are you thinking?" Byakuya asked suddenly as they turned and moved in time to the music, "Whatever it was brought the light back into your eyes, Ichigo. It is the most lively they have looked since your return."
Ichigo smiled and snuggled closer to the Kuchiki leader as they continued their dance.
"I guess I just realized I was being stupid, not letting my friends and family come to see me very much. I was so worried about how they were looking at me, when it wasn't them at all. I was looking down on myself for losing my powers, for not being strong anymore. But that doesn't matter to them, because they all love me anyway."
His smile warmed and he kissed Byakuya lingeringly on the almost smiling lips.
"With you and all of them loving me like you do, how can I be sad? My powers will be returned or they won't. But whether they are or aren't isn't going to change what I have here."
Byakuya closed his eyes and gave a sigh of relief.
"I am glad you see that now," he whispered, kissing his new spouse on the earlobe, "It means that now, not only your body is healing, but your heart is too."
"I wouldn't have reached this point without you, Byakuya," Ichigo said affectionately.
Byakuya shook his head dismissively.
"I only healed your body and made it strong again. I didn't do this. Your friends did. I only asked Rukia and Renji to join us for a picnic."
"Yeah, right," Ichigo laughed, "You knew they would hear about us being married and do something like this, didn't you?"
"Perhaps," Byakuya admitted, "but I didn't really do anything except give them an opportunity to reach you. What they did and how you responded was never in my hands."
"Thank you, Byakuya," Ichigo whispered into his husband's ear, "I'll thank them too, but none of this could have happened if you hadn't known to open that door. It just means that I was right to marry you. You've been really good to me, and now I'm going to spend the rest of my life being good to you."
"I look forward to that," Byakuya answered, stepping back and releasing him as the song they were dancing to ended.
Other couples swept onto the dance floor, and Ichigo felt a warm hand grab his as Rukia dragged him away from her brother and into a faster dance.
"Ha! I've got you!" she laughed, "Everyone wants to dance with you, but I got you first...after Byakuya."
"Great, you got me," Ichigo chuckled, picking up the beat of the faster music and moving with it.
He caught sight of Byakuya, now standing near the edge of the dance floor and talking to several of the other taichous, but judged he looked content and continued to dance with Rukia. A few minutes later, he felt an arm wrap around him and steal him away. He looked up and saw Renji grinning at him.
"My turn!" the redhead announced.
"Great, just don't be a clutz and step on my feet!" Ichigo shouted back.
The two danced for a few minutes, then Renji spun him into Orihime's arms.
"Whoa!" the Shiba heir exclaimed, "I'm getting dizzy, getting thrown around like that."
"Do you want to stop? Are you tired?" Orihime asked, looking concerned.
"No way!" Ichigo laughed, "I might not have my powers, but my stamina's just fine. Don't worry. Just dance with me, okay?"
"Okay!" Orihime answered cheerfully.
Ichigo passed from one partner to the next, partnering with Hisagi Shuuhei, then Rangiku, his sisters, and even his father, before a slender male hand caught his and he found himself dancing with Uryu.
"Oh, are you here to scold me some more?" he asked, smirking.
Uryu said nothing for a moment, only looking around before leaning closer.
"I might be able to help you with those seals on you," he offered.
Ichigo's feet paused, but Uryu hastened him back into movement.
"Keep dancing, you fool!" the quincy hissed, "Don't you get it? You know we're being watched!"
Ichigo moved in time with the music, but lowered his head slightly.
"How can you help?" he asked carefully.
"There is an archive in my dad's house. I've been sneaking in there, looking for information."
"Why'd you have to sneak in?" Ichigo asked, frowning, "Wouldn't your dad...?"
"Of course, stupid!" Uryu snapped, "Didn't you hear me? I said we were being watched."
Ichigo's eyes widened, but he kept them carefully hidden.
"They're watching you too?"
"Yeah. I've caught sight of them a couple of times. I think that some of the surviving quincies have gotten together and they're up to something."
"Huh," Ichigo mused, "Byakuya has been pretty sure it was quincies, but we couldn't spot them or find anything to say why they were watching."
"If they are the ones who took you, and they haven't just taken you back, they're waiting for something," Uryu concluded, "They know they have to keep me in the dark or I'll help you. That's why they're watching me too. If I want to be able to help you, then I have to keep them from knowing I know anything."
"Fine, so what do we do?"
"Tell Urahara that he's going to have to break into my dad's archive to look for information on quincy seals. I'd help, but I don't want the bad guys to know we've got ideas about what's going on. We have to be cautious about this. They went to a lot of trouble to capture you and place those seals. They're up to something big, and we have to stop them, whatever it is."
Ichigo nodded and caught the anxious quincy's eye.
"Thanks, Uryu," he said solemnly.
"You're the reason I escaped Ywach with my life," Uryu whispered into his ear, "I owe you."
He turned Ichigo into Kukaku's embrace, where he remained until the end of the song, before returning to Byakuya.
"You looked like you were having fun," the Kuchiki leader observed.
"Yeah, but it wasn't all fun," Ichigo said in a serious tone.
"Oh?" Byakuya inquired, arching an eyebrow.
"Uryu agrees with you that the ones that took me were surviving quincies. He's been trying to get information about the seals from his father's archive, but his family is being watched. He asked me to have Kisuke break into Ryuuken's archive to look for the information too."
"I will see that the information gets to him," Byakuya promised, "But we must be careful not to speak of it after this. We are being watched as well."
"Right," Ichigo agreed.
Byakuya gave him a warm smile and Ichigo looked back at him questioningly.
"What is it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
"This gathering has been good for you," Byakuya said approvingly, "You look much more hopeful. You could have your powers back soon. But that brings me to a necessary question."
"What's that?"
"Well," Byakuya said, looking down at his hands for a moment, "I know that we are married and there is the expectation that we are to bring heirs to our clans. But if you think you are going to get your powers back and not need to do that, do you want to put off consummating our marriage, Ichigo? After all, if you plan to leave me..."
"What?" Ichigo asked, giving him a surprised look, then grabbing him and holding him tightly, "Byakuya, don't be stupid! I love you. I'm not going to forget that, just because I might get my powers back. When I married you, I meant it. I'm not going to leave you...ever!"
Byakuya stared back at him in silence.
"What?" Ichigo chuckled, shaking his head, "You didn't think I loved you too?"
Byakuya colored slightly and lowered his eyes.
"I confess that I wasn't sure if you were in love with me or merely with me because it felt safe. I know that isn't fair..."
"No, it's not," Ichigo chided him, "And you don't have to worry about that now. I'm going to be okay, with or without my powers. And with or without my powers, I'm choosing to stay with you!"