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A/N: A warning for my readers, there is a death of a main character in this story. It is with sadness that I deliver this remark, but I find it is necessary to the story itself.
#6
For Love or Duty
After spending one month patrolling the edge of the neutral zone the Enterprise was sent on a voyage to star system Gliese 163C. A red dwarf that was habitable and was in need of resupplying a new computer systems and parts. All medical physicals were to be done by the Enterprises medical department, along with an upgrade to their equipment and resupplying medical supplies for the year.
Mr. Spock was in charge of organizing the crews and cargo that were to be beamed down to the planet. Unlike the Commander, he had become impatient with several ensigns that he felt were not pulling their share of the work. He put all of them on report and criticized them publicly in front of fellow crewmen.
Dr. McCoy was in transporter room three checking the medical supplies as they stacked up in the room to be beamed down. Mr. Spock came in abruptly and stopped before he toppled a pile of boxes.
"Dr. McCoy, when will this be taken care of, you have been holding up the transporter for one hour."
Dr. McCoy spun around and glared at him, "I didn't know you had dibs on all of the transporter rooms. How else am I to get these supplies down to the planet? What's got your britches in a bundle, anyway?"
"Dr. McCoy, please refrain from unnecessary descriptions when speaking clearly would suffice." Spock turned and left the room in a hurry.
McCoy looked at the ensigns helping him and refrained from making a comment about their Commander Spock. Although a thought came to his mind and he pushed it aside until he had time to think.
McCoy gathered his crew of doctors and nurses and took the new warp driven shuttle craft down to the planets surface, along with the rest of the supplies. He avoided confrontation with Mr. Spock by freeing up his transporter room.
Lt. David Esper piloted the shuttle craft and landed gently on the transport pad. The following hour was spent unloading and verifying the medical supplies.
Dr. McCoy took his doctors and nurses with him to the first medical complex and started to organize the physicals for the following day.
He had asked Nurse Christine several times where the new bone scanner had ended up with no reply from her.
"Christine, did you hear me?"
Startled when she heard her name she said, "What did you say, Dr. McCoy?"
"I asked you where the new bone scanner went to, it was here a minute ago."
She looked around the room and left to ask the ensigns where it had gone. McCoy shook his head and thought of Spock's reaction earlier in the day. Must be trouble in paradise he surmised.
The rest of the day met with several clashes of personalities with the locals and his staff. He had to pull several of his nurses aside and give them a stern talking to. After waiting patiently he got one of them to talk about what had happened.
"Doctor, it wasn't so much the locals, sir," she hesitated and looked at her fellow nurses.
"Well, what was it then?"
She hesitated to speak but her boss was Dr. McCoy and she had to tell him the truth if the others would not speak up. "Doctor, it's Nurse Christine, she's been very irritable for the last few days and taking it out on the rest of the junior staff."
"Christine? My head nurse, Christine?"
"Yes, sir."
Dr. McCoy crossed his arms and said, "All right, you four, out with it. I need details and no exaggerations."
The four of them gave him several examples of Christine's impatience all week.
Nurse Julie Crone said, "Doctor, we were reluctant to say anything, but she's really gotten out of hand today. The most surprising thing is she's normally very kind and patient."
McCoy nodded his head and said, "Thank you, I know it took courage to bring this to my attention and I will take care of it. I will stress confidentiality with this situation and if I hear of any gossip, I will go to you four first. Understood?"
"Yes, Doctor," they all replied.
"Okay, dismissed, let's finish with this room and we'll head back to the ship for the night."
After working for another hour the medical team took the shuttle back to the Enterprise. There was hardly any conversation on the shuttle and McCoy glanced around. Only Drs. Ana and Jo seemed to be relaxed as they exchanged a joke among them. He looked at Nurse Christine to the right of him and she was looked as if she had lost her best friend.
He sighed out loud and knew a conversation had to begin as soon as they returned to sick bay.
Lt. Esper landed the shuttle craft like a balloon on a carpeted floor. They all returned to sick bay and were given last minute instructions.
Nurse Christine lingered in her office and McCoy kept an eye on her. The replacements for the night shift arrived and he walked into her office and closed the door.
She looked up and said, "Doctor, can I help you."
"Christine, you've been rather distracted and impatient today, in fact I noticed it a couple of days ago," he looked at her and said, "is there anything wrong?"
She hesitated but said, "No, Doctor, I think I've just been working longer hours and need to sleep. I promise tonight I will get some rest. We have a long few days ahead of us."
"It's not only being distracted, but you've got half of your nurses on the verge of tears."
"Doctor McCoy, I assure you, my corrections have been proper and swift. Some of the nurses think this is a vacation and I had to point out to them that we will be working and not spending time ogling the inhabitants of the outpost."
"I will let this go for now, Christine, but I hope you get a lot of sleep tonight. I will not tolerate you pressuring the nurses, just because you haven't slept. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Doctor."
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Captain Kirk went to his first officers quarters and buzzed the door.
"Who is it?"
"Kirk. Spock, may I enter?"
The door unlocked from the inside and Kirk walked in slowly expecting his first officer. He looked around the sleeping area and saw him sitting up from his bunk.
"Spock, I asked you to report to my quarters half an hour ago and you never arrived. Are you not feeling well?"
Spock stood up and straightened his shirt. He turned to face his Captain and the stress was obvious on his face. His brow had sweat and his hair stuck to his forehead.
"I am fine, Captain. I must have slept through your call. I apologize." He continued to stand at parade rest.
"Follow me to my quarters, Spock, I'd like your report from the day," he stood looking at his first officer in confusion. He stepped away expecting Spock to follow.
Spock remained in his bedroom and looked down. "Captain, if you wish an oral report, it is not necessary. I sent my report to your computer two hours ago."
Kirk turned around and looked at Spock, "Commander, if I want an oral report from you in my quarters, you will give me one," he said sternly, "now follow me."
Commander Spock followed the Captain next door to his quarters and stood in front of his desk. The Captain looked at him and pulled out a bottle of Saurian Brandy and poured each a glass.
"Have a seat, Spock, it's been a long day."
Spock sat and left his hands on his lap. Kirk handed him his glass and he noticed Spock's hand was shaking. Memories of the last time this happened flooded back into Kirk's mind. He quickly counted back, almost seven years.
Kirk sat on the edge of his desk and sipped his brandy. "Spock, are you sure you're feeling all right?"
Just as Spock went to speak, the Captain's door buzzed. "Come," he answered.
Dr. McCoy walked in and hesitated when he saw Spock sitting at his desk. "I'm sorry, you're busy, I'll come back later."
"No," Kirk demanded. "Have a seat, Bones." Kirk poured the doctor a good measure of brandy as Bones pulled up a chair.
Kirk kept looking at his friend, his brother, his first officer and asked again, "What's wrong, Spock?" Before he finished his question he knew in his heart what was bothering the Commander.
Spock drank down the brandy in one gulp which almost sent Bones into shock and said, "It is that time?" From his neck up to his ears, Spock's skin turned a light shade of yellow green.
McCoy downed his drink along with the Captain. McCoy spoke first, "Pon Farr, Spock?"
He nodded in shame, "I had hoped it would pass now that Christine and I were married".
Kirk had a twinkle in his eye, "Spock, she's familiar with the Vulcan pon farr, what is the problem?"
Spock stood and loudly said, "The problem, Captain, is this is my private matter. How will you excuse my wife's and my disappearance for three or four days?"
Kirk stood from the corner of the desk where he had been sitting and held up his hand, "Whoa, whoa, Spock, we're your friends. We understand."
"No, Captain, you can not understand what I and Christine will be going through."
Kirk stood a little straighter and said firmly, "Now, wait a minute. Of course I don't understand fully, but here is your doctor and your best friends. There is no need to be rude."
Spock looked down at the floor. Bones could see his hand shaking behind his back.
Spock turned to Dr. McCoy and apologized and then to the Captain.
"Spock, we'll be in orbit for at least three days, maybe more. You both have time coming. I will fill in for you as if you're busy elsewhere. This will go no further. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Captain."
Kirk looked frustrated and softly replied, "I want to help you anyway I can, Spock."
"Please, Captain, keep away from my cabin."
Kirk sighed and looked at Bones. "I will, but I want Christine to check in with us every six hours. Dr. McCoy will check in on her and I don't want you giving him grief. Understood?"
"Yes, Captain, but I will not be myself. I will be deep in the blood fever. I do not wish to hurt anyone, least of all you two or Christine."
McCoy spoke in a soft voice and said, "That's why I have to check in on her."
Spock weaved as he stood, "Perhaps, it would be better if Dr. Ana checked in on her. I will sense that any male here is competition. Bones, I may try to hurt you."
McCoy gave him a medical glance up and down and said, "Okay, Spock, we'll try it your way."
"I will remain in my quarters. I had hoped this would have passed, but it has not. May I be dismissed, Jim?"
Kirk looked up at the sound of his name, "Yes, Spock."
Spock left and Bones looked at the Captain, "That explains a lot of odd behavior that's been going on with Christine and scuttlebutt from ensigns that have been working with Spock."
"Let's see what we can do to stop any rumors. I think the most likely person to help would be Uhura. She'll put a stop to anything being said about either of them."
"Agreed. You'll take care of it, Jim?"
"Of course."
Bones left the Captain's quarters and returned to sick bay. Christine was still sitting in her office.
McCoy stepped in and pulled up a chair. "The Captain and I just had a conversation with Spock."
She looked up at him with tears ready to overflow from her eyes. "Yes?"
He cleared his throat and said, "It's that time for him again, Chris."
She nodded which made her tears fall. "I knew it was coming on, Doctor. I knew at least three days ago. His fever was starting this morning and he was so abrupt and rude, I just left our cabin."
"The Captain is giving you the days off you both need. This is in the strictness of confidence. Spock suggested that we send in Dr. Ana to check on you. We want you to report in every six hours. I will send Ana in at least once a day or more if you need her."
He reached over and gave her a fatherly hug, "Are you frightened?"
"Anxious. I talked with Dr. Ana because SJ went through it when they got married. I know what to expect, but Spock is so much more Vulcan and stronger. But, Doctor, I love him with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for him. Don't be angry with him if he is not himself. It is just the way of pon farr. I wish there was someway he could avoid the pain himself, but I'll do my best to be there for him. He's so private, it must have embarrassed him to admit it to you and the Captain."
"Yes, he certainly was and he's on edge right now. I would approach him gently."
"I better leave now." She gathered her sweater and left.
Their quarters were down the hall from sick bay. She hesitated at the door and walked in. The heat had been turned down, but the air was still.
"Spock," she called with a catch in her voice. She put her sweater on the couch and looked around. She stepped into their bedroom area and Spock was meditating near his meditation light.
She silently sat on their bed and waited for him to realize she was there. She leaned forward on her knees and prayed silently that she would help him through the pon farr without much pain for both of them.
She jumped when she heard him softly call her name, "Come here, Christine."
Spock had finished with his meditation and she stood in front of him. His body trembled and she could feel the heat pouring off of his body. He fought to control his overpowering emotions and looked her in her eyes.
"Christine, my love, I must apologize now, before I can no longer control my emotions and desires." She started to speak and he waved his hand to quiet her. "We have discussed this time and knew it would come."
She looked up at him with concern. "Yes, Spock."
"Dr. McCoy has made arrangements to check on you. You must call him every six hours, no matter what I say."
"Yes, Spock, I will."
He held her face in his hands and began a mind meld. She sucked in her breath as she sensed the turmoil he was experiencing. His love flooded her mind, yet the appearance of anger and revenge from antiquity blended among the many emotions he tried to control. She tried to send her love back to his mind, but she was not sure he received it.
Hours later they laid quietly in their bed. Her arms felt bruised, but she laid as close to him as he would allow. She sensed he had gone to another part of his mind to rest and to pull away from her.
She got up from bed and went to the washroom. She examined her bruised arms and freshened up. She brought a basin of cool water and cloth to the bedside and began to wash her husbands face and chest.
He awoke and grabbed her arm and threw the water off to the side. "Wife. What are you doing? Do you betray me in my own bed?"
"No, Spock, I was just trying to cool you off. You're so warm."
His eyes were dark. It was as if another person had taken over his body. He nodded his head and allowed her to tend to his feverish body.
"Christine, come lay next to me. I will comfort you."
The most pleasant meeting of their minds enraptured them. Spock came to her but stroked her skin and showed her the true purpose of pon farr. It was the time of mating for Vulcans but it was also a time of deep sharing of both the mind and body. He showed her the depth of his love for her. It was as if he could not sustain his own life without her next to him. The total abandonment of self and the laying open of his soul for her to witness was almost too strong for her human mind to comprehend. The strength and warmth of his love caused her to cry as their minds combined. He encouraged her to relax and to not be afraid. No human could truly understand the special closeness that they shared at this time.
A few hours later Christine awoke and took a shower. She put in her first call to Dr. McCoy.
"I'm okay, Dr. McCoy."
"You're sure, Chris?"
"Yes, he is resting. I will call later." She switched off the comm
button as Spock called to her.
He pulled her to his chest and kissed her with less aggression and with more tenderness.. Somewhere in his mind he calmed his energy
Afterward he slept. She held him in her arms and they awakened early in the morning.
Hours later their door buzzed. She was afraid to leave their bed, but Spock continued to sleep. She grabbed her robe and went to the door.
Dr. Ana stood with fear in her eyes, "Are you all right?"
Christine nodded. "Yes, he is sleeping. There is nothing for you to worry about."
"I understand. Call if you need me."
Christine went to their kitchenette and warmed up the pol tar soup Spock loved. She walked quietly to their bedroom and sat on the bed.
She thought of the Human saying to, 'never wake a sleeping baby', and she wondered if this pertained to Vulcans in pon farr. She waited as she saw him stir. Her heart began to beat wildly.
He opened his eyes and glared at her.
She said quickly, "I have some soup warmed up. Would you like some?"
He relaxed but she was still anxious.
"I need to freshen up, first."
She stood and said, "I'll wait for you at the table."
He returned in his heavy robe with his hair damp. He played with the soup. "Christine?" He placed his elbows on the table and hid his face from her.
She leaned closer to him, but not afraid of how he would react. "I'm fine, Spock. Take some nourishment. This is homemade, not from the replicator."
He looked up at her and shook his head. "How can you treat me with kindness when I have just…," he put his head down again.
She stood next to him and touched his shoulders. He looked up at her and pulled her onto his lap. She put her head on his shoulder and stroked his face.
"Can I ask you something, Spock?"
He took her hand into his and said, "Yes, wife."
"Why is there so much fear connected with pon farr? I found it to be emotionally beautiful."
He nodded his head and said, "It is not always like that. Did I scare you at the beginning?"
"I was frightened at first, but when we shared our minds, it was the most wonderful sensation I have ever experienced."
He kissed her hand as the door buzzed again. She stood and went to the door.
Dr. Ana stood at the door again, "Christine?"
"We are both fine," she smiled. "No need to worry. Thank you, Ana."
Ana smiled knowing the worse was over. " I can tell Dr. McCoy he can sleep now?"
She chuckled and said, "Tell him, I will see him in a day or so."
"Christine?" Ana hesitated.
"Yes."
"Tell, Father, he is loved by his family."
She nodded and returned to her husband who had finished his soup.
"Did you hear, Ana?"
He nodded with a small smile. "She was worried for you?"
"Yes, would you like more soup?"
"No, thank you, but if you wouldn't mind, would you join with me for a moment?"
She sat across from him and he placed his fingers on her temples and she touched his face. The love flowed between the two and the shame of the previous night and day left Spock as Christine's heart swelled with love and pure devotion to her husband.
When they separated tears slowly dropped from Spock's eyes. "I am so sorry to have put you through this."
"Spock, you are the love of my life," she choked back her own tears and wiped his away.
He stood and she followed him to their bedroom and they shared a gentle, meaningful love. They slept in each others arms till afternoon.
They were closer physically and spiritually.
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The Enterprise stayed in orbit over Gliese 163C for another twenty-four hours. Christine returned to sick bay to help finish recording the information on the physicals for the civilians. All reports would then be sent to Starfleet Command.
The last afternoon in orbit Commander Spock reported to the Bridge. He quietly stood next to the Captain and said, "I am here to relieve you, Captain."
Kirk left the command chair and looked at his friend, "Thank you, Mr. Spock. Are you caught up on your project?"
Spock took the hint and replied, "I will report to you at a later date, Captain. Thank you."
Kirk nodded and said, "You have the conn. I'll be in my quarters if needed."
"Aye, sir." The remains of the ponn farr would slowly dissipate. Spock still felt on edge and had a difficult time concentrating while he meditated, but a new closeness between he and Christine left him contented and amazed.
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That evening the Enterprise left orbit with orders to return to the neutral zone to once again patrol for Klingons. They went by a different route and mapped out a newer area of the galaxy.
After several months of mapping and patrolling the Enterprise was in need of some updating and overhauling of Mr. Scotts precious engines. New orders came through with permission to go to Star Base 12 for a much needed shore leave and repairs. The journey would take several weeks. The Captain and Commander kept the crew busy with training and performance testing.
"Captain, we're picking up an increase in magnetic contamination," Lt. Cooley said.
Spock went to the scanner and acknowledged, "Yes, Captain, a fast moving ion storm of large proportions is gaining on us."
The Captain put out an alert for the crew and Mr. Scott ran from the Bridge to Engineering.
The ion storm hit with a strong velocity shaking the ship and making her difficult for the navigator and helmsman to keep her steady.
The Captain stood between the two and would give an occasional order to alter course.
Mr. Spock called to Lt. Spock, "Help me with this panel, Lieutenant."
The two dropped the front of Spock's computer panel as lights and power dimmed on the whole ship. Sparks flew from under the console where Lt. Spock had reached inside.
He let out a loud yell and pulled away with his shirt and hair singed. The Commander shut down power to the console as his son shook off the affects of an electrical current running through him.
The lights dimmed again and left the Bridge in darkness as the Enterprise was thrown side to side. With no power to the helm, there was little Lt. Kirk could do.
The Captain called down to Engineering, "Scotty, can you get me any power?"
"I'm trying, Captain, we've blown one main nacelle. We're sending power to the main systems of the ship. Give me one minute and you should be back on line."
"I don't have a minute, Mr. Scott, we have absolutely no power up here."
As the Captain stopped talking the lights flickered back on. Sparks were still shooting out from under Mr. Spock's console. They quickly rerouted circuits and began to examine the damage.
"Thank you, Scotty."
"Aye, sir. I'll be with you as soon as we get things under control down here."
"Lt. Spock, you need to report to sick bay."
Lt. Spock looked at the flaming skin on his arm and knew he couldn't wait. "Yes, Captain. Commander I will return shortly."
Spock grabbed tools from the cabinet above and started to pull out charred pieces of computer components. The Captain sat in his chair and watched as his two young navigator and helmsman needed no further help from him. The worst of the ion storm had passed, but the damage to the Enterprise would mean it would slow them down by a couple of days.
Onboard repairs continued as they made their way to Star Base 12.
Lt. Commander Uhura sent the Captain's communications to the base in order for them to prepare for the Enterprise's repair and updated schedule.
That evening the magnificent Star Base came into view on the screen. The Captain never grew tired of the view of this most modern base. His crew had needed the break and so did he.
"Uhura, open a frequency to the Star Base command center."
"Ready on frequency 10a, Captain."
"This is Captain Kirk of the Enterprise requesting permission to prepare for docking."
"Come aboard, Captain and welcome. Enter bay 16."
"Thank you, Kirk out."
He stepped down closer to Lt. Kirk and said, "Slow all engines."
"Aye, sir, slowing all engines and preparing to dock."
"Take her in slow Mr. Cooley."
"Aye, Captain, as slow as a leprechaun in a pot o' gold."
Lt. Kirk smiled but dared not laugh out loud. The Captain shook his head and watched as they maneuvered into place.
"All engines, stop," commanded Kirk.
The command center said, "Moorings are locked in, Captain. Welcome and enjoy your stay."
"Thank you. Kirk out."
The rest of the day was a flurry of crewmen scrambling about and making lists of parts to repair and Mr. Scott giving orders for how his engines would be taken apart and put back together again. Lt. Spock returned to the Bridge with orders not to over do it.
At shift change the Captain made an announcement about shore leave. Lt Commander Uhura would announce which groups would be let go first, but all crewman would have to wait for 24 hours so they could get organized. Only the Captain and Mr. Spock were brave enough to speak with Lt. Commander Scott and find out the condition of his engines.
"Captain, we really took a hit on the engines and all through out the ship's electrical grid. We may be here several weeks. The base is already sending over engineers to assist us.
"Good, Scotty, but I want you to schedule at least two days shore leave for yourself."
"Aw, Captain, I dunno know when I can arrange that, sir."
He looked sternly in Scotty's eyes and brought up a finger and pointed at him, "An order, Mr. Scott."
"Aye, Captain, I will."
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Lt. Kirk walked his wife to the rec room for dinner that evening. SJ, Ana, Mick and Mary joined them. They were all scheduled for shore leave together and started making plans.
As they began to eat Lucas cleared his throat and said, "Ladies, just so we all don't end up sleeping on our couches for the next few nights, may I suggest you all plan your shopping days together and we'll do our 'manly' things without dragging you with us."
Jo looked across the table at her husband and said, "We already planned it that way, so don't worry." Memories of making the guys wear flowered shirts to dinner which ended in a brawl in the restaurant and all of them landing in the brig were fresh on their minds.
SJ said, "My father has already asked me to not eat at the same restaurant. I told him we had no intentions of going back."
Mick started laughing and started to fill his wife in on the escapades of his friends from a few years ago.
"Let's just say, it involved extra duty, explaining injuries and reasons for the fight to the Captain. If I remember correct, it even involved Lt. Commander Uhura and Scott."
Mary sat with her mouth open, "Mr. Scott?"
"Aye, Lass, your dear, Mr. Scott. I believe this was one time I wasn't involved, so guess who had to cover their shifts?", he pointed his fork at Lucas and SJ and said, "As a matter of fact, ye both owe me for your discrepancy, don't ye think?"
They all sat in silence as they remembered the Captain's fury with all of them. Lucas cleared his throat and said, "May I remind you of…."
"Now let's not keep score, me dear, Lucas," Mick interrupted.
Scores were even and plans were made.
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Later in the rec room Lt. Commander Uhura and Nurse Christine finalized plans with their friends as to what they were going to do. They remained ship board for one week and were then scheduled for shore leave.
Spock stood in their quarters and waited while Christine told him all about the women's plans.
"Now, Spock, please promise me you will take a day off with the Captain, and Dr. McCoy before we leave on the next mission," she wrapped her arms around his neck.
He leaned down and kissed her. "I still see no benefit in walking around the Starbase making the crew uncomfortable when we enter an establishment. They need their time away from their commanders influence."
"Spock, it's for your benefit. Please promise."
"Is a promise so important to you?" He pulled her closer to him.
"Yes," she said stubbornly.
"Then your wish is my command," he teased and kissed her again.
Her blue eyes twinkled and she smiled at him, "I'll be back tonight."
"I will await you."
"I have to go, I'm running behind and they are all waiting for me down on the base. I'm taking an aircar by myself to meet them."
"Why not beam right down to where they are located?"
"It's on my list of things to do. I used to pilot crafts all of the time and I don't want to get rusty."
"Planning on a new career direction?"
She giggled like a school girl, "Oh, Spock, I wish everyone could see this side of you. I love you," she kissed him and said, goodbye once more.
"Good bye, my bond mate."
Spock smiled to himself. He was impatient for the day to pass as he worked on repairs to the many computers on the Bridge.
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Lt. Commander Uhura and her friend Lt. Susan Johns waited for Nurse Christine to arrive. She had called thirty minutes previously to say she was on her way. The flight should have taken five minutes.
Nyota said, "Oh, you know Chris, she's always running a minute or two late."
Susan nodded as they listened to an announcement about all fights being cancelled for an hour. They sat in a restaurant booth and watched as emergency aircars raced through the sky.
Nyota said, "I'll try calling her." She used her comm-watch and tried to reach her. "No answer," she looked at Susan and a feeling of dread tried to pull at her calmness.
Nyota stood and said, "I'm going to the communication's board and see what I can find out. Come with me, Susan."
The two ran across the park area to the nearest communication board. Uhura put in her pass code and news of a mid-air collision of three aircars was listed. All pilots and passengers were killed instantly. No names were released.
Uhura held Susan's hands and said, "I have a bad feeling," she closed her eyes to try to calm herself and think about what to do next.
Christine was now forty-five minutes late.
Uhura said, "I could call Emergency Services, but they probably wouldn't tell us anything. Let's take a land cab to the hospital."
They grabbed each other's hand and jumped into a land cab. They arrived at the hospital and entered through the emergency area. Doctors and nurses scurried up and down the hall ways.
Uhura walked up to the service desk and said, "We're looking for a friend. She's late arriving and she rented an air car, but we heard there was an accident," she looked at the nurse with pleading eyes.
"Who are you looking for?"
"Christine Spock, she's a nurse from the Enterprise and wife of Commander Spock."
She took the name down and said, "Have a seat, I will see what I can find out."
Uhura sat on the edge of her chair and continued to try and contact Christine on her comm-watch with no success. Susan grabbed her hand with tears ready to fall from her eyes. They watched as the nurse returned to her desk and looked up at the two. She motioned the two to come to the desk.
"Can you follow me?"
They nodded and Uhura walked as a chill ran down her back. She didn't ask and she couldn't ask. The nurse took them to a private room and had them sit down. She pulled up a chair to face them.
"I'm sorry, but Christine was in an air collision with two other air cars. There were no survivors," she paused as the words sunk in, "as far as we know it wasn't her fault. One of the air cars lost power and had no steering and collided with the other two. I am sorry. Can I call someone for you?"
Uhura stared at the floor. A cold feeling ran through her body. All she thought about was Spock and Dr. McCoy. Her stomach rolled and she squeezed her hands together.
The nurse said, "I am so sorry."
Uhura nodded and said, "I have to contact Captain Kirk, he'll know where to find Spock."
"Come with me," she said.
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Spock was laying under the console reinserting new computer components when a cold chill raced through him. He sat up and felt the life blood of his bond mate disappear. He knew. He knew, his Christine was no longer alive. He sat as the numbness went through him. A sick feeling in his stomach insured he would not eat for many days. Time must have passed slowly. The few people working on the Bridge were busy and hadn't noticed him sitting motionless on the floor. He felt a hand and heard a familiar voice say his name.
"Spock, it's Jim." Jim squatted down on the floor to be level with Spock.
Dr. McCoy had emptied the Bridge and stood along side Jim.
Spock looked up with a sadness Jim had never seen before and said, "It is all right, Jim. I, I already know, Christine is dead."
Kirk nodded his head and said, "Come on, I'll take you to your quarters."
He and Bones helped him to his feet. They walked to the lift and then to Spock's quarters.
Spock could smell her soft perfume she sometimes used before she went out. He glanced towards their bedroom where they shared so much love. He sat at the table and waited for the Captain to fill him in on the details.
"There was a collision with three air cars. One lost power and steering. There were no survivors."
Bones stared at the table. Christine had worked for him for almost nine years. The tears slowly fell down his face. He put his arms on the table and put his face down and sobbed.
Spock sat in silence. He fought the knot in his throat and the Captain tried to hold the two together.
Spock knew the Captain would know what life would be like without a spouse. He had lost his wife a few years ago. The pain was almost too much to bear, but Spock new many arrangements would have to be made. He tried to concentrate, but only the lasting kiss remained on his mind. She had said, "I'll be back tonight."
If only he had insisted on her beaming down, but going over in your mind that which you could not change was illogical and a waste of time.
Bones went into the bathroom and washed his face. He came out wiping his eyes with a handkerchief.
"Spock, I'll go down and identify her body and escort her back to the ship."
"Thank you, Bones. I do appreciate that."
McCoy left the room. Jim sat next to his friend and offered him some tea.
"No thank you, Jim. I would like to lay down for a time."
"SJ wants to come and see you, can I send him down?"
"I would prefer privacy for now."
"Spock, he's your son. He needs you now, too."
He thought of what Christine would have told him and he nodded,
"All right, I'll see Spock and Ana."
The Captain called for the two to come to Spock's quarters. They arrived in seconds.
Kirk stood as SJ and Ana approached Spock. Ana had tears flowing down her face. She went up to Spock and briefly hugged him.
All she could get out was, "Oh, Father." She slid into the chair next to him and SJ took the other chair.
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The Captain left them alone and began the long process of making calls. Word spread quickly throughout the ship. He didn't need to cancel shore leave, his crew all returned on their own in respect for their Commander.
Extra crews from the starbase and their own crew worked around the clock for five days to repair the Enterprise. Burial in space was what she had requested in her paper work. Spock had sent word to Vulcan to inform his parents. He remained in his cabin, sitting in darkness, trying to make sense of his life. The only regret was not opening his heart to Christine sooner.
Spock's parents arrived by special diplomatic flights. Lady Amanda tried to comfort her son in private, but he held himself stiff and proud.
She said, "Spock, let it out, son."
"Mother, I will grieve in my own way." He looked at her with the dark brown, pained eyes she remembered from his youth.
"All right, Spock, should you need to come home for awhile, please know you're welcomed anytime."
"Thank you, Mother."
Lady Amanda went back to her room and waited with her husband.
That evening the service was performed. The Captain led the service and then Spock stepped forward.
"This was one of Christine's favorite poems by 'Gitanjali'," he cleared his throat and began,
"Farewell,
Farewell my friends.
I smile and
Bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears,
For I need them not.
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad
Do think of me
For that's what I'll like.
When you live in the hearts
Of those you love,
Remember then
You never die."
Lucas stepped out of formation and brought his violin and bow to his chin. With a tear dripping down his face, he played a haunting version of taps.
The space casket was sent out into the heavens. Spock remained behind with the Captain and Dr. McCoy until Christine could no longer be seen.
McCoy looked at the Captain with tears in his eyes, shook his head and left. The Captain stepped back and waited for Spock to turn around. Together they walked back to the Captain's quarters.
Pale and withdrawn, Spock sat at the table in Kirk's private area. Kirk made him a cup of tea and had coffee for himself.
A few moments passed and Kirk said, "When's the last time you ate?"
"I am not hungry, Captain. Thank you for the tea."
Kirk sipped his coffee and said, "I have permission to take your parents back to Vulcan. We're on our way, now."
Spock nodded his head.
"Spock, I'd like you to take some time off. I'd like you to stay on Vulcan with your parents."
The suggestion brought him out of his stupor. "Captain, I do not wish to remain on Vulcan. I have a duty to the Enterprise and to you."
"Forget duty," the Captain replied sternly, "you need your family, now."
"My family is on the Enterprise."
Kirk felt guilty for the pleasure that his statement brought him, but he knew Spock would need time to himself and not be on call for every emergency they encountered.
"Do I have to insist on you spending time at home?"
"Captain, Jim, please, I beg you to understand. I can not go home to Vulcan. My father….," he stopped.
At his own name, Jim knew Spock was pleading not to force the issue. Jim stood up and walked to the window and viewed the stars as they slowly passed the window. He thought of his own loss of his wife, Miriam, a couple of years ago and put himself back in Spock's position.
He turned and walked back to his friend. He wanted to hold this man in his arms to show him he knew and he cared, but he respected the stoic face of his friend. Another day, another time.
Softly he said, "All right, Spock. I won't force you to go, but you will not be on active duty for awhile. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Captain," he stood and paused in front of his friend, "Jim, thank you, for everything."
Jim touched his upper arm briefly and nodded his head.
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Hope rises on another day. Yet, the day could bring pain and suffering. Thank the Lord for the eternity of space. More to learn, more life to live, and more love to find and share.