I apologize in advance for this chapter being so Rory-obsessed… see, I was originally planning this chapter to be the debate, and then I was like, "Oh, let me just add this small part about Rory in," and then it morphed into a seven-page thing. And I knew I had to get this Rory part out BEFORE the debate, and I decided I'd rather do just one Rory chapter instead of spreading it out over a few chapters and putting in some random Lorelai crap, because one, I want the debate to come out soon, and two, I don't have much to do with Lorelai until said debate. So those of you who have been complaining about all the Lit stuff, please bear with me… plus, remember, this IS a JavaJunkie and Literati combined, so I'm not breaking any rule or anything by having Lit in it. I promise, next chapter, and pretty much from now on, it'll basically be Lorelai-Vision, all day, all the time.

Ponders: "It really ensures a double cool time with all your European friends." Let me slaughter you with my laughter. Yes, you summed up my feelings for ASP exactly at this time. The sultry, the flogging, the Canadians. I'm so finding out when that day is…I will fake orgasms all day long, including in class, and some of them might not be fake… oh, say SUBSIDIZED like that again, Steve Nadeau! That's exactly what I did… I doubted it but then argued myself into the Pleased!Pro!position. Ah, excessive Fig Newtons.
Jombles: I wanna see a Luke/Taylor fic! That sounds SO amusing. Lorelai/Jess is much better, although still weird… but I'm a sucker for odd pairings, I must say. Heh. Sucking tonight. Jess/Dean/Luke/Taylor orgy awaits! Uhoh, ATTACK MODE! You didn't drink it because you subconsciously knew it was needed for protection.
Hey, McFloobenheimen: Number two time… and I mean that in a non-3-years-old kind of way. I'm more mature than that. –small snicker- Maybe not… hey, I don't even know you and I already owe you forty bucks! How do I do that? I won't forget the nose. –knowing nose thing like Rory and Richard did when they tricked Logan into believing he was to marry Rory in season 5 because she was mad at him for bursting into her class and professing fake love although I myself found it very amusing-
Lichelle: Woohoo, three! Luke's ass-ness is tainting his sexy nose. Yes, I'm trying to take her place… but she just won't give up the hat. Kevin couldn't braid his hair over his hickey… but he wouldn't have. He showed his PARENTS. My friends and I only bring happiness to the completely weird.
Lassie: Dean says your least favorite word this chapter. I'm sorry. But uh… you didn't review. Again… my sadness overflows.
Krys33: Tu? Are you serious? She will be flogged at school! Ah, Luke. We do need more klutzy Sookie.
Robinpoppins: I love that line too… ah, protective Luke. I just wanna hug him. Unless he's talking about April and Anna… -begins to seeth with anger but quickly de-seethes so as to continue shoutout- I love twisting odd events into signs that say I shouldn't do my homework.
Izzpuppy:You rapidly grow less talkative… everyone flakes out on me these days! You wore black…heh. Of course you play with balls….
Baby Girl Gellar-Green: The damned spell check is a topic of great discussion with pOnDeReSqUe and I. Yes, the debate will be…interesting.
Pink-x-Moonlight: (Oh, puppies!), Lolabelle26: (I'm with ya there.), Chmemls: (That's what she said. –schoolgirl giggle-), Blurry Haze: (We have so much in common.), GGRox07: (I smell a new ship!), Xxnicole033xx: (Nope, it's an LL and RJ. Says so in the summary.)

Vinegar and Glitter

Chapter Six Geese A-Laying: Do You Bite Your Thumb At Me, Sir?

Paris reentered the science classroom, having forgotten her ruler there earlier, to find Rory Gilmore sitting with her chin in her hand, staring fixedly at some distant point beyond the whiteboard. "Rory," she prodded. "Rory…Rory… Rory!"

Rory jerked her head up bewilderedly. "Huh?"

"Rory, class ended almost ten minutes ago," said Paris irritably. "Why are you still sitting here?"

"Class ended?" said Rory, dazed.

"What is wrong with you?"

Rory sighed distractedly, turning her face away. "Busy morning. I've just been kind of… preoccupied."

"Like I didn't notice? You look like Madam Serena got to you."

Rory gathered her books and stood from her desk. "What time is it?" She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh geez, I might miss my bus!" she wailed, jogging out of the classroom to her locker.

Paris shook her head worriedly. "Takes a town…"

Rory's half-zipped bag was slung precariously over one shoulder as she jogged to the bus stop, making it there just as the bus pulled up. She quickly boarded the almost full bus and took a seat in the first open space. Pulling out her cell phone, she prepared to call a familiar number when there was a tap on her shoulder.

Not all shoulder taps were friendly—Rory knew this from traveling on a bus everyday—and so she turned around cautiously, only to find Dean's wide grin staring back at her (along with the rest of his body, of course). "Dean?" she said, shocked.

"Hey," he replied with gusto, leaning over the back of Rory's seat to give her a quick kiss. Rory received it passively and tried to return his smile.

"What are you doing here?" she said. She found it almost painful to look at the naïve, joyful face of her devoted boyfriend whom she had just cheated on hours earlier. God, had she really done that?

"I had a free period last period, and so I thought I'd come down and surprise you on the bus!" he said. Smiling all the while, he continued, "Here, I brought you some coffee."

Rory took one look at the image of her boyfriend, eagerly holding a Luke's coffee cup over the top of a public bus seat, and burst into tears.

Half an hour earlier, Dean entered Luke's diner, practically bursting with the idea of seeing Rory half an hour earlier. She is going to be so surprised! he thought joyously. She'll be so happy.

Jess was at the counter, holding a pack of matches. He ripped one match along the side of the box and watched it burn slowly, pinching it out when it reached the top of his fingers. He lit another and held it to the edge of a receipt, watching the flickering and singeing with bored eyes.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with matches?" said Dean coldly, towering inches above the little rodent he called enemy.

Jess looked up. "You've obviously never met my mother. She used to give them to me to shut me up when I was little."

"However fascinating it is to hear a page out of the story of Jess' distressing childhood, I'd really just like to order."

Jess blew out the receipt and tossed it back on the counter. "I'm not stopping you."

"Two coffees and a cherry Danish, to go." He fought against his inbred instincts and didn't add a please.

As Jess poured the coffee, Dean asked, "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Who are you, the truant officer?" replied Jess. After Rory had made her quick escape that morning, Jess cleaned up the mess of the soda and decided that, since he was already late, he might as well not go to school at all.

"Fine, whatever," muttered Dean, shaking his head. This kid was going nowhere in his life; he was so glad that Rory had decided not to have anything to do with him.

Jess bagged a cherry Danish and handed him the coffees. "That'll be 62.50."

Dean rolled his eyes and slapped a fiver on the counter. "Very funny."

"Hey, I had to try… on you, especially. I thought I might have a chance of you not realizing your mistake until you were already home."

Dean whirled around. "Excuse me? You wanna repeat that?"

"Okay, now," said Jess, holding two hands in front of him. "Let me guess… next you're going to ask me if I want to take this outside?"

"Just give me my damn change," said Dean threateningly.

Jess slid a dollar bill and a couple of dimes towards him. "We appreciate your business."

"Cute," snarled Dean, taking his purchases and change and stalking out the door.

"Rory?" asked Dean bewilderedly. "Rory, what's wrong? What did I do?"

Rory just shook her head and cried harder, sobs escaping her mouth jerkily and breathily, her nose running divots down her lips. A businessman who was about to sit in a nearby seat looked wary and decided to move farther down the bus.

"Rory, stop, you're scaring me!" said Dean, quickly getting up to scoot into the seat beside her.

Rory grabbed the coffee cup's insulating cardboard sleeve and blew her nose heartily on it. Dean looked slightly repulsed. "Rory, talk to me," he pleaded.

Rory choked, her lips parted wetly. "I'm such a bad girlfriend," she managed to spit out through reluctant teeth. "I'm so bad. You're so good to me, and I'm so bad."

"What? No you're not," said Dean, laughing a little. "Calm down."

"No, I can't, I—" Rory rocked forward, bringing her forehead to her knees and back up in hysterical panic. Her breathing was erratic at best; she panted quickly, shaking. This was scary. This was a scary thing she was doing. "I…" Her words stuck in her throat: rough, grabbing, desperately trying to keep the words down, keep them from escaping. Her entire body pulled her in two directions. Even her spleen seemed to be taking a side.

Keep it from him. Tell him. He doesn't need to know this. He deserves to know. It'll just make things worse. Staying on this path will only lead to bad things. It's not a big deal. It's a huge deal! Now isn't the right time. Stop putting it off! Just hide it a little longer. Confess. Let it go. Confess. Don't do it! Confess. Confess.

"Rory?" Dean said slowly. He began to sense that something was really wrong. "I don't…" He peered closer at her. "What did you do?"

Rory tried to compose herself, rubbing her face raw to rid it of tears. Her face was streaked with wetness, her eyelashes stuck close together. "I have…" she began, her voice rough. She cleared her throat of the webs. She wasn't sure exactly how to do this. She wasn't sure why she was even doing it at all. "I was- I didn't… I didn't think." She got a sentence out.

"Rory, I'm really confused," said Dean. "Didn't think about what?"

"Just let me get this out," she said harshly, raising her hands to her nose in frustration for a few seconds. She shook her head again at Dean's shocked expression. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that. You didn't deserve that." She wrung her hands in desperation, her voice wavering again as she felt her eyelids swell.

"No!" said Dean. "Rory, no, don't start crying again. I'm sorry; I won't interrupt."

She squeezed her eyelids, moisture flicking the edges. Oh, why was she such an ass to this boy?

"Dean, why do you put up with me?" she asked, wholeheartedly curious. "Why do you let me treat you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're a doormat. Like I can walk all over you because I know you'll always be there at the end of the day with…" She sobbed a little. "With coffee."

"Rory, I don't get where this is going," Dean said. "But… I love you. And I know you love me too. We can work through whatever is wrong together."

Rory shook her head sadly. "No, see, I think that's where I went wrong." She shook her head again and grabbed her backpack, standing up as the bus slowed to a stop. "I'm sorry, Dean. Please believe that."

"Rory!" exclaimed Dean, leaping up as Rory squeezed past him. "What is wrong with you?"

"Dean, I can't, I just can't," she said hastily, shaking her head frantically. "Please, just let me go and know it's for the best."

His eyes widened as Rory made her way down the bus' aisle. "Are you serious? You're seriously getting off this bus right now?" Rory looked up at him sadly from the top of the stairs before the doors opened, her silence speaking volumes. "Rory, this isn't even your stop!" he hissed. "At least take your Danish, for God's sake!" But Rory was gone, and Dean turned his face to the window as the bus pulled away, and there was Rory, staring up at him with this look in her eyes that made him want to scream and cry and punch something all at the same time. But the driver wouldn't stop the bus, so he just kept riding without her, a cup of cold coffee in his left hand and a forlorn Danish bag in his right.

Rory's neck would give at this point, she knew, from shaking her damn head so much. She shook her head with anger as she dug through her bag, searching for her cell phone. "Idiot!" she reprimanded herself sharply. "Imbecile! Sure handled that well, sweetie, didn't we?" She shook her head once more, and a mother walking by with her son pulled the boy closer to her as she picked up her pace, glancing apprehensively over her shoulder at the girl talking to herself.

Then Rory remembered she'd placed her phone in her sweater pocket after she broke down. The two numbers that she'd begun to dial previously were still on the screen; she punched in the remained five with a sigh and, alas, a shake of the head, and held the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" answered a voice after a ring or two.

"Hey. You busy?"

"No."

"I need a ride."

The forest green truck pulled up alongside the curb with a deep rumble. Rory looked up, snapping her French book closed against her pencil and beginning to put her things away as her driver got out, slammed the door closed, and ventured around to her side.

"I tried to book your usual limo, but it was already being rented out by some big shot movie star," he said as a greeting, watching Rory zip up her bag before he took it from her and put it in the bed of the truck. He opened her door and then went around to his own side, pulling the heavy door closed and looking over at his companion.

"Does Luke know you borrowed his truck?" she said by way of reply, pulling her seatbelt over her.

"Well, he saw me drive away in it, and he proceeded to chase me down the whole street before I gunned it."

Rory nodded. "Good enough."

Jess turned the key and pulled out of the spot, craning his neck to see oncoming traffic as he performed a quick, shaky, and blaringly obvious illegal U-turn, a grand total of four cars honking at him as he went.

Rory clutched her seat belt with white knuckles and said, "Remind me never to drive with you again."

Jess shot her a quick side grin as he drove. "Come on, everybody's U-ing it."

Rory snorted. "Cute."

They came to a stoplight soon after, the sound of Rory's backpack grating against the truck bed as it slid around reaching their ears. There was silence for a few seconds after that, save the sound of the radio very quietly playing static, before Jess' eyes darted over to Rory. "So you wanna tell me why I had to steal my uncle's truck to come pick you up in this God-forsaken little town?"

As he stared at Rory's profile, she cocked her chin up defiantly, her eyes staring straight ahead. "Dean was on the bus," she answered finally.

"So you hate him that much that you had to get off at the wrong stop to get away from him?" he joked. "Man, that should really…"

"Jess!" she said sharply, her hair swinging as she turned her head.

He tilted his head back against the seat and let out a low hissing sound. "Sorry."

A few moments later, she continued, "I broke up with him."

That caught Jess' attention. "You did?"

"Yeah. At least, I think I did. I tried to. I don't think I was too successful. He seemed pretty confused. Of course, I would be too if my girlfriend starting randomly crying for no reason and then let out a bunch of cryptic stuff like 'I didn't think' and 'I just can't' before leaving me on a bus with a Danish."

Jess nodded and was silent. "Wait, you left him on the bus with a Danish person?"

"No, a food type Danish," said Rory.

"Oh," replied Jess. He almost welcomed the annoying sound of static that filled up the gap in the conversation.

"So…" said Rory expectantly. She had broken up with Dean; now it was his turn.

"So…" repeated Jess.

Rory stared at him a few moments longer. Then, "Nothing," she spat out, flopping back into her chair, suddenly angry. Great. So Jess didn't want to do anything about it? Fine. Obviously he only wanted her because he knew that she was off-limits, already taken. There had been no chance of it going farther, and now that there was? He didn't want her. The feeling swelled through her. Well, fine. She didn't want him either.

The light turned green and Jess turned back to the road, a pleasant feeling filling him, as Rory's inner turmoil was unknown to him. So she'd broken up with Dean? His glance darted over to her quickly, looking through the corners of his eyes. She slumped against the window, not looking particularly happy.

"Did you tell him?" said Jess, his voice invading the quiet that had been wordlessly established.

Rory knew what he meant. She stayed silent for a few more seconds before replying, "No."

Jess nodded. "No," he repeated quietly under his breath. So obviously she hadn't deemed it worthy of being mentioned to her boyfriend when she broke up with him. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but he wasn't just fooling around with Rory… and he'd thought, maybe, that she had felt something… he shook his head. Nah. Apparently not. He was just her chauffer, her basket-eating-company, her morning activity when she was bored before school. She thought she could just use him like that? That he was wrapped around her little finger? Well, think again, he thought sourly. I am NOT Dean.

Jess punished the pedal and drove faster. Rory slunk lower into her seat. They drove back to Stars Hollow with the buzzing static pressing against their ears and nothing else.

Now that's out of the way… -jazz hands- Out next come the flaming batons! Plus Lorelai!

Hah. Once my sister was driving, and she wasn't sure if she could make a U-turn, but then two people in front of her did it, and I was like, "Come on Lauren, everybody's U-in' it!" and we laughed for like twenty minutes. We're way too easily amused.

Hey, who loves my chapter title? It amuses me greatly.

Next up… the Chilton debate. Never has doctor-assisted suicide been so highly anticipated!