Kevin and I got into his car, and he starred down. He did a huge sigh, something that felt like something bad was going to happen.
I felt as my heart was shattering.
"We need to talk when we get back to your house." Kevin looked at me a little disappointed.
"Ohh...ok..." I starred out the window. My heart shattering over and over. Feeling of my stomache flipping. Maybe he had no idea that I needed him in my life, more than ever.
He was the only one that could give me butterflies. The only one that could help me with my cutting. And now he was just going to walk out of my life? I starred out the windows for anwsers.
He turned onto my street and I could feel my heart beating. I could feeling it pulsing throughout my whole body. I could feel every bad and sad thing in my life come back to me. It felt as if my father was sitting right next to me. I could feel him in the car with me. Giving me his strength. "Hey Alli, are you okay?" I came out of my whole train of thoughts and looked over at my boyfriend. "Yeah, everythings fine." I faked a smile, as I undid my seat belt. Kevin undid his and sat there for a few minutes.
"Can I come in?" He looked at me with a sad face.
"Yeah, I never said you couldn't." And I did a laugh, but he wasen't laughing with me.
We got out of the car and walked up to the door. We headed straight for my room. My body was shaking. We need to talk. It ran through my thoughts every 5 seconds.
Kevin followed me into my room as he walked over to my bed and sat down. He motioned me over to sit next to me, but my head was saying not to. My head and my heart were on different scales. My heart; loved kevin with every beat of the heart. It loved Kevin with every blood circulation. My head; told me not to go and sit. It told me I was about to get my heart broken. And my head reminded me of those 4 words over and over. We need to talk.
I sat next to him. He pulled my hand into his hand. He rubbed my leg with his other hand. "Alli." He said. Noticing I have been looking down since we left school.
"Yeah... what? Since I already know what you're going to say. Just get it over with. I have things to do." I had barked at him.Feeling the tears I have been holding back, start to come into my eyes.
Kevin gave a confused look. "What was I going to say Alli?" We need to talk it rushed through my head.
"You are about to break up with me. Every girl knows what we need to talk stands for. And it never ends in something happy." One single tear started to roll down my face.
Kevin whiped it away. "Alli, I was just going to talk to you about your cutting. I was never, ever going to break up with you. Why would you even think I'd want to?"
"Well, because I'm hard to deal with. With my cutting. People at school. My father. My PMSing. Everything..."
"Alli, none of that matters. You're completely perfect in my eyes, and theres nothing that's going to change that." Kevin smiled at me. He got up and walked over to the bathroom. He grabbed some anti-biotic cream and some bandages. He grapped and towel, and put it under the fouset. He came back over. Pulled my arm onto his lap, and began to clean my cut from school.
I geuss I have a tendency to overreact. But hey, I'm a girl, and that's what girls do. I looked at the most perfect guy sitting next to me. That night we had a very long talk. About my cuts, my dad, and everything.
I truly believe if it wasen't for Kevin, I'd be going insane