I do not own the Young Riders

Lou got as far as the barn when she heard the bunkhouse door being swung open, and the sound of heavy footsteps pounding on the dirt coming up fast behind her.

"I know what you said but I'm calling you out on your bullshit." Jimmy's voice said gruffly.

"What?" Lou asked in confusion swinging around to front Jimmy.

"You need me, and I need you. I'm coming with you." He told her.

Lou looked to Jimmy tears falling from her eyes, "Why would you need me?" she asked unbelieving that Jimmy needed anyone.

"You are my best friend Lou, I'm grieving and I'm hurt and I need you with me." Jimmy watched as Lou's face softened, "And if you don't want to stay here then I will follow you." Jimmy inched closer. Lou looked like she was about to take off but he wouldn't stand for that, so he inched even closer preparing to pull her in if need be.

"Let me help you Lou. Let me help find and kill the bastard Pike. He had his men come in here and touched...violated you and Rachel. Let me help you find out want was so darn important that Kid and Noah had to die like that. Please Lou I need you to let me help you."

Lou dropped to her knees into the dirt. Her skirt fanned out around her as she hid her face in the palms of her hands. Jimmy heart brokenly watched as her small shoulders shook with gut wrenching sobs.

Jimmy risked it and stepped closer, guiding Lou up to her feet by her elbow. Once she was on her feet he wrapped his secure arms around her tight, holding her as she cried her wee heart out. Lou's arms hung to her side, she wanted so much to hug him back but she was scared.

She was scared that if she showed just how much she truly needed him too she would lose him. Lose all of them.

Both Lou and Jimmy didn't notice that Cody, Ike and Buck were all sitting on the porch looking at their friends, and feeling their pain.

Teaspoon stood in the door way with Amanda close behind him. He loved both of these girls like daughters, and with what has happened these last few days he was saddened at the distance between them all. He believed that Lou was looking for someone to blame for what happened here the other night, hell they all were, but Amanda was not that person.

Amanda stood behind her father hoping that Lou's breakdown meant that she would stick around. Amanda needed Lou, but knew she had to be careful about how she went around getting her to stay.

Jimmy continued to hold Lou wishing that she would hold him back. He hoped that she hadn't lost trust in him like she had with Teaspoon.

The longer Jimmy held her the more the ice chipped away at her heart. Lou found that her arms started twitching at her side as they wanted to hold onto Jimmy as tight as he was holding onto her.

Lou felt like the hole that had been ripped open inside of her was being held together by Jimmy's strong hold. She felt somewhat whole in this moment.

No longer scared that if she held on she could lose him, she now feared that if she didn't return the embrace he would pull away and she did not want that.

Her arms snaked around Jimmy's waist and rested the palms of her hands flat against his back pushing Jimmy even closer to her.

Jimmy's body relaxed against hers, he kissed the side of her head thanking the lord above that Lou was not as lost as she seemed.

Lou had needed these arms, she was thankful for these arms.

Teaspoon looked back towards Amanda gesturing with his hand that she move back inside the bunkhouse. He knew that Lou was angry with her and would not want Amanda to see her in this state. Amanda on the other hand had other ideas.

"Do you think this means Lou is staying?" Amanda asked Teaspoon hopefully almost gleefully.

Teaspoon didn't like the way Amanda's voice changed. Why did she want Lou around, when Lou had made it perfectly clear that Amanda was in her firing line?

"Not that I don't wish Lou would stay Amanda, why would you?" Amanda quickly scolded herself for slipping. She couldn't allow Teaspoon to doubt her, not before she got want she needed.

"Teaspoon that's not very nice."

"Amanda, Lou doesn't seem at all happy with you at the moment..." Teaspoon begun but Amanda cut him off there.

"And why is that? What have I done to her to cause her to hate me so much?"

Sighing out loud, not at all ready to tell of the nightmare that happened here a few nights ago, Teaspoon sat his tired body into a chair and begun telling Amanda everything that had happened.

Meanwhile Ike, Cody and Buck were still sitting on the porch watching their two friends comfort each other.

They wished that they too could go with Lou, but they wouldn't dare leave Teaspoon alone. Teaspoon was hurting just as much as the rest of them, and he was also stuck right dab in the middle of his love for Lou and Amanda.

Teaspoon would need the boys, and they had no intention on turning their back on him.

"Are you ready to leave honey?" Jimmy asked Lou, who's cries had slowed down to just a whimper.

Lou pulled away and looked into his eyes. Jimmy knew that look all too well. He tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows just daring her to say the words.

"Jimmy as much as I want you to come with me, I don't think you can."

"Of course I can Lou."

Lou shook her head no, "No you can't, not back to Benton." She knew Jimmy would find trouble as soon as he stepped foot in town.

Buck and the other boys got off of the porch, "Lou, Benton is shut off, they aint' allowing anyone in." Buck told her.

"To outsiders it is cut off," Lou told them making them confused. Isn't that exactly what Lou was, an outsider? "I'm staying with a cousin." Lou smiled her first real smile today.

"I'm staying with Jane." She smiled again looking to Buck. "I met up with her and she is helping me. Jacob Pike and his men think that I am her cousin, I can't show up with you on my arm Jimmy."

"Jacob Pike? Lou what are you doing?" Cody asked, worried that she was heading straight for trouble.

"Look you just have to trust me." Lou told them all. She watched as the boys all seemed to exchange a strange look. "You do believe me don't you?" Lou asked. "I mean with Amanda."

"Honestly Lou we don't know what to believe." Lou looked like she was about to storm off. If they didn't believe her what the hell was the use of even talking to them? Buck grabbed her wrist, "Tell us what you know, make us believe you."

"Shouldn't my word just be enough? Surely you know me well enough to know that I'm not a liar."

"Lou we don't think you're lying to us. But it aint' fare to ask us to just believe you, when you know we have Teaspoon on the other side just as convinced as you are, that Amanda wouldn't have anything to do with this." Cody told her.

"You have to give us something, something we can go on from here." Buck pleaded.

Lou knew the boys were right and that it wasn't fare for her just to expect their alliance. They loved Teaspoon just as they loved her.

"Did Amanda tell you that Hack was killed?" The boys looked to one another shocked, before Ike shook his head no.

"Well he was." She stated angrily. "Did she tell you about the money?" The boys nodded their heads.

Lou looked to the bunkhouse to see Amanda's form in the window. "I don't think this has anything to do with the money, well not on Jacob's side anyway." Lou knew in her gut that it had everything to do with the money for Amanda.

"We thought that too. Jacob wants revenge for his brothers." Jimmy agreed.

"It doesn't just stop there," Lou muttered under her breath, but Jimmy heard her.

"What do you mean Lou?"

"Jane told me that Hack was partly responsible for killing Jacob's wife and child. I'm not sure if he was the one to pull the trigger exactly, but I know he was killed for his part."

"Holly hell."

"Yeah. I think that Jacob obviously knew that Teaspoon and Amanda were connected, there aint' a person alive who doesn't know what Teaspoon would do for that girl. So when he learnt of his brother's deaths he must have known Teaspoon was behind it all. But I think because Hack killed Jacob's wife and child, he wanted to hurt Amanda the same way by killing some of her family off. The money is just a sweetener on top of that."

"You don't think he wants Amanda dead?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't know. Jane seems to think that Amanda and Hack weren't even together, but I don't know if Jacob thought that. I can only guess that he saw Hack and Amanda as lovers for him want to hurt her by killing her family."

The boys were processing what had been said when Lou started to make her way to the barn. She needed to get back to Benton and she needed to put as many miles as she could between her and Amanda.

"Lou," She turned around to face Jimmy,

"Yeah,"

"Are you...I mean...are you alright?" she looked into the eyes of her boys. She loved them all dearly and could see the concern in their eyes.

"Far from it." She told them truthfully.