Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

AN: THANK YOU THANK YOU so much to everyone who reviewed! I love you guys, truly.. Know i said i would update the story twice a week, but I had to do some actual writing first... Will begin after this chapter as I have most of the chapters comming roughly outlined. Hope you enjoy it!!!! -x-

Lilly lay in bed that night listening to the sound of rain pounding heavily on her roof and windows. Her hand was rested lightly on her abdomen and she was stroking it gently it with one thumb.

She had been crying on and off since she got home, but the effort proved too much of a drain on her already dwindling energy and it finally subsided. Lying on her sofa she felt an odd sense of ease spread over her. She felt different somehow- besides the obvious fact that she was pregnant. It wasn't just her anymore. She was responsible for another tiny being now and Lilly felt a surge of affection unlike she had ever felt before. She opened her mouth to speak to it, but somehow it felt too surreal. Lilly Rush found herself at a loss of words for the first time in her life.

Soon she had drifted off to sleep and only roused the next morning when the familiar sickness took control of her again.

On her way to work, Lilly chewed on some crackers and made sure she had a bottle of sparkling water with her in the car. Kat said that she would be able to hold it in that early in the morning. She had called later that day and offered to come over, but Lilly had said no. She just needed some time alone. She really didn't know how she would have survived without Kat there. Knowing she had her support, Lilly felt more comforted.

- - - - - -

As Lilly got out of her car and headed up the stairs to work, she felt more tired than ever. This baby wasn't even born yet and it was already kicking her ass. Lilly smiled to herself. Today she would be going to the doctor for confirmation, though in her eyes there really wasn't much point. Kat however had convinced her that she needed an ultrasound at any rate.

She heard quick steps behind her and when Scotty's voice reached her she felt a simultaneous surge of guilt and panic that she hadn't told him yet and that she knew she had to.

'Hey Rush. How's it going?'

Lilly plastered on a smile. 'Fine, great- it's going super!' Her overcompensation lead to a falsely high and cheery voice.

'You seem happy.' Scotty eyed his partner with a look of surprise.

'And that's a bad thing now Scotty.' Lilly felt trapped. 'You don't look so shabby yourself.' She was eager to shift the attention back to her partner.

'Well things have picked up lately.' Scotty tried and failed to conceal a smirk.

'And this wouldn't have anything to do with a certain brunette.' Lilly tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice which seemed to have come out of nowhere.

'Yes- Liz, Elizabeth just might.'

'Elizabeth huh? Well Scotty, I'm- happy for you.' Lilly found herself force another smile onto her face.

'Yeah, me too. I really think she could be, you know- the one.' Scotty's face broke into a wide grin this time.

'So soon?' Lilly was surprised.

'Well, sometimes- you just know, you know?'

'Yeah, I do,' Lilly said more to herself than Scotty. She remembered the last, the only time she had fallen head over heals for a man- Patrick. She had never loved someone like that so fast, so strong. She had completely handed herself over to him, body and soul. He broke her heart. Love made people do stupid things, Lilly knew that now.

They walked in silence the remainder of the way to the office.

'Hey Lil, you feeling OK?' Scotty looked concerned.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' Lilly didn't notice she had been panting and fell exhausted into her chair. 'Just didn't sleep much is all.'

'Then Miss Rush, have I got the cure for you?' Vera barged in the office with a tray of coffee balanced precariously on top of a box of doughnuts.

'I'll take those.' At the last moment Kat walked by and grabbed a cup for Lilly and herself.

While the rest of the team were busy grabbing their cups and doughnuts, Kat dropped Lilly's cup in the trash.

'Done so soon?' Vera looked at Lilly.

'Yeah, was just what I needed.' Lilly lied.

'There's a spare one and it's all yours.'

'No,' Lilly blurted a bit too forcefully. 'Nah, it's just that I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine intake that's all.'

'One cup won't kill ya.' Lilly begged to differ but didn't have time to protest as without warning, Vera placed the cup in front of Lilly. The smell was all it took for her to lean over and be sick in the near by trash can.

When she was done the entire team was looking at her concerned and questioning. Lilly was sure her cover had been blown.

'Hey, what gives?' Vera asked her suspiciously.

'I, I think it must have been something I ate. I didn't have much food left in the house and I went to this dodgy store a few blocks away.'

'Funny, just yesterday you were sick too in Stillman's office.' Jeffries added.

Shit. Lilly didn't know what she was going to reply. Though they weren't always the most sensitive men, these guys weren't detectives for nothing.

'Must be a bug going around.' Kat interjected just then. 'My daughter is home sick right now. Hope this won't spread around the department.'

'In that case, don't mind if I just step a bit further away from you Rush.' Scotty joked.

'Yeah, getting sick is the last thing I need right now. Though come to think of it, a day or two off work wouldn't kill me.' Vera chuckled.

'Don't push it.' Stillman tried to sound serious. 'Lilly, if you aren't feeling well, take the rest of the day off. We're already understaffed as it is and I'd rather you were back on your feet tomorrow than sick and useless today.'

'No, really I'm OK.' The last thing Lilly needed was being sent home where she'd be even more lost, left alone with nothing but mounting doubts to keep her company.

Just then Kat put a steaming mug of something in front of her. Lilly looked up at her alarmed.

'Just some ginger tea- should make you feel better.'

'Thank you- so much Kat.' Lilly felt tears threatening to fall.

'Don't think about it. Hey Lil what's wrong.' Kat looked down at her concerned.

'Look at what just happened Kat. I don't know how much longer I can keep this a secret.' Lilly continued, her voice trembling.

'I'm really not ready to let them know, not when he doesn't even know yet.'

'He?'

Lilly gave her a meaningful look.

'Oh he.' Kat finally understood and knew better than to push for information.

'Do you want him to be part of this?'

'I, I just don't think I can talk about this right now.' Lilly knew this conversation would just lead to another bout of crying, which wasn't exactly on top of her wish list.

'I'll just leave you to it then.' Kat gave Lilly's hand a reassuring squeeze.

'Kat?'

'Yeah?' The other woman turned around.

'I hope your daughter gets better.' Lilly felt some kind of maternal power hit her out of the blue.

'She's not really sick.' Kat gave Lilly a mischievous wink.

Lilly smiled- she had suspected it.

'Hey Kat.'

'Yep.'

'Can you just get a little closer first?' Lilly looked around the bustling office. Kat neared Lilly wearing a look of confusion.

'I was just wondering,' Lilly couldn't look her colleague in the eye, 'if you could come with me to my ultrasound later. I just don't want to go alone.' Lilly spoke in a hushed voice.

Kat smiled understandingly. 'Sure, I'll be there.'

- - - - - -

Hours later, Lilly was nervously sitting in the doctor's office. She was dwindling her fingers and absentmindedly tapping her foot.

'Miss Lilly Rush.'

Lilly was startled at the sound of the nurse calling her name. She uncertainly got up as Kat gave her a reassuring smile.

Lilly took in her surroundings as she entered the white and sterile doctor's office. The walls were filled with all sorts of posters, several on pregnancy. Lilly didn't have time to study them before the doctor entered the office seconds later.

'Hi, my name is Dr. Turner.' To her surprise, a friendly looking man extended his hand. Lilly took it.

'I understand you think you're pregnant.' The doctor glanced up from his notes.

'Yes.' Lilly didn't really know what to say. It felt like she was stating the obvious.

'From all the symptoms you seem to be presenting I have little doubt that you are, so today we will be doing an ultra sound to confirm it and see how your eventual baby is doing.'

'Ok.' Lilly didn't know how to handle it. This- going to the doctor, was just making everything a little too real for her.

'Take this gown. You may change behind the screen.' The doctor indicated to a thin partition in the corner of the room.

- - - - - -

Minutes later, Lilly was awestruck watching the little pin prick on the monitor Dr. Turner confirmed to be her baby.

She was clutching Kat's hand and overcome by several emotions. She felt terrible that it was not Scotty sitting there holding her hand and that he was missing out on this. After all, it was his right as a father. She had to tell him.

A while later Lilly was clutching a small photograph of her uterus and smiled to herself. Not your typical picture, but already her favourite.

'From my calculations and ultrasound, I would say that you are six weeks along at this point.' Dr: Turner informed her.

'Six weeks?' Lilly questioned, shocked. How could she have gone six weeks and not known that she was pregnant. With the home pregnancy test there was always the margin of error. This, a doctor telling her she was pregnant, was undisputable proof.

'Six weeks.' The doctor smiled. 'Don't worry. This is by no means uncommon. It has taken other women longer to discover they are pregnant.'

Lilly felt relieved. She wasn't such a bad mother after all- not knowing she was carrying her own baby until now.

This was really happening, six whole weeks.

- - - - - -

An hour or so, Lilly felt overwhelmed as she exited Dr. Turner's office. She had been briefed on what to expect, what to eat, what not to eat, scheduled a new appointment. How on earth was she going to keep track of all this?

'Don't worry. You'll be fine.' Kat reassured her as they hugged goodbye at Lilly's apartment door as if able to read her mind.

'I hope so.' Lilly added in an undertone later.

One thing Lilly was certain of after all of this was that she needed to tell Scotty. The longer she waited, the harder it would get.

AN: Rave, rant or REVIEW! As always, I love the feedback! Up next, tensions come to a head beteween our favourite couple;) Til next chapter...