6.
For the next week and a half Clarke found herself in a new routine. She would get up every morning at around eight to find that Raven was already gone. She would then make her way to the med room with Monty and Jasper in tow talking about whatever fucked up shit they did the previous night. She would have a late breakfast with Harper and sometimes with Octavia who was out and about as if nothing had happened. They usually talked about the different sectors of the Dropship, the different guys on the different squads that caught their attention, or the careless patients Clarke used to see when working at the hospital, alongside her mother, back in Arkadia.
She avoided asking about the people beyond the wall and about Octavia's reasoning for why she let herself bleed half to death. She was afraid if she did mention anything, she would cave and tell the girl with the bright wondering eyes what she heard her brother say in Polis.
"They're called Grounders, or we call them that," Octavia had told her a few nights ago when she indirectly mentioned how the people beyond the wall have the best organic and herbal methods of healing an infection.
Her nights were spent in her shared room alone, she usually had one of Raven's books propped up on the side of the couch as she ate her dinner and read about computers and coding. She didn't understand half the words but this is what her father did for a living, for twenty-five years, and these are the words he knew so well and spoke so clearly. Sometimes she would reach into her personal pack and pull out her worn out sketch book, drawing pictures of the medbay or Octavia's bedroom, sometimes she would outline the faces of the people she encountered, capturing the shy smile of Monty, the goofy eyed Jasper and even badass Raven with her raised eyebrow. Then when she was exhausted enough to go straight to sleep, she would cuddle in between the sheets and knock out, hoping the nightmares weren't waiting on her.
She hadn't had any horrible ones since she arrived at the Dropship, not the kind she would wake up screaming from or rushing over to the toilet to cough up her dinner, but still bad enough that she would wake up sweating and on edge, refusing to go back to sleep. In the midst of all that, she also hadn't spoken to Bellamy, not since their trip, and she had only seen him once when he walked into the med room with Miller, demanding to speak to Octavia.
It was two days after that she saw Octavia again practically skipping into the med room with a wide grin that Clarke had never seen before.
"Why are you so happy?" she asked, pouring a drop of moonshine on Jasper's hand. He had managed to somehow get it caught between two tables reaching for some microchip or something, down in the engineering room.
"Ah, shit," Jasper winced, "she's happy because Grationem Dan," he shook his injured hand letting drops of moonshine cover the floor. Clarke wrapped it tightly rolling her eyes at his behavior.
"I thought that was a Grounder thing,"
"It is, but Bellamy goes every year and this year he promised to take me" she exclaimed, her happiness bubbling to the surface as her grin grew even wider.
"Easy smiley, after what you pulled, I doubt he will," Jasper smirked then winced when Clarke tightened the cloth around his hand. Octavia smirked at him just as Monty walked in mouth full of food.
"Did you hear the news?" his muffled voice called out to them. He had a sandwich in each hand, and a bite taken from each one. He handed one to Jasper who held it with his good hand and took an even bigger bite not seeming the least bit bothered.
"Yes! I'm going to Grationem Dan!" Octavia's hands shot up in the air before she perched herself up on the bench next to Jasper.
"Yeah, but apparently so is Alpha Squad,"
"Wait what?" the smile fell off of Octavia's face instantly, her feet met the ground again as she booked it out of the room not bothering to hear the rest of Monty's words.
"Harper just…" he trailed off, watching her go, "told me."
"Why is Alpha Squad going such a big deal, don't Miller and Murphy go with him every year?" Jasper questioned returning back to his sandwich. Monty shrugged before taking the seat Octavia just left getting into a story about how he and Jasper once made the strongest batch of moonshine. Bellamy was pissed for days because the guards were so disoriented. Clarke laughed along at all the right moments, and nodded at both boys as they tore into story after story of their time at the Dropship. She did enjoy learning about this place, about them, but her mind was somewhere else.
Later that night she opted out from her usual dinner plans and instead found her way to the cafeteria in the left wing of the main floor. The place resembled the rest of the Dropship, grey tiles, walls, metal chairs and tables, however, it was full of life. There were people everywhere, some she recognized who came to visit her in the medbay more often than she would like, and some she had never seen before. She scanned the room to find Octavia and Raven sitting at a long table in the corner. From where she stood Clarke can sense they were having an intense conversation with the way Octavia bent her head down, hair covering the side of her face speaking in hushed tones. Raven's face stuck in bewilderment and slight understanding as she nodded along.
Clarke decided it would probably be best to grab something from the kitchen before going to join them. She stood in line behind some giggling girls who seemed way too young to be at a place so hostile and violent like this. A place that held the future adults of a corrupted world who were trying to find a way to override the system using war and death. She forced herself to think of anything else, anything that didn't involve how sick and twisted it was to listen in on these young teens' lives that would no doubt end if Lexa was serious about her plans.
"Always thinking," Finn's breath hit her ear and she jerked back surprised.
"Don't you have some other girl to bother?" she asked unimpressed and impatient at how slow the line was moving. Finn must have suspected as much because he grabbed her hand leading her to the front of the line. Yells of protest came from behind them but it didn't bother Finn, although her cheeks burned up a bit.
"What are you doing?" she asked trying and failing to pull out of his grasp.
"Don, can you give us two sandwiches, no tomatoes on mine," he winked at the boy, Don, behind the counter who Clarke bet was dying to give them the finger. Seconds later he came back with two wrapped pieces of bread, no doubt stale, and handed them over to Finn who winked again before dragging Clarke behind him.
"Collins, Griffin" Raven said in a way of greeting when they arrived at the table. It seemed that they saw them coming because whatever conversation she was having with the younger brunette stilled and they turned their attention to their untouched food.
"Raven, always a pleasure," Finn smirked at her, perching himself to sit on top of the table with his feet planted on a chair in front of him, and his back to an irritated Raven. Clarke took a seat on the chair in front of Octavia, next to Finn, giving her a questioning look to which Octavia shook her head as if saying nothing was wrong and plastered a fake smile on her face.
"So turns out I won't be going to Grationem Dan in two days, but I get to go on the next trip to Polis in two months," her tone feigned brightness, and everyone must have known but played along trying to smile with her. Clarke wanted to ask why the sudden change of events but with Finn sitting there, and the awkwardness that floated into their table with Octavia's fake smile and Raven's unsubtle glare at the back of Finn's head, she knew it probably was better to leave it unanswered.
"Uhm, so we are out of seaweed for healing sores and I think Bellamy isn't going to slow down training anytime soon," Clarke said hoping to diffuse the tension, "Could someone mention this to him?" Raven raised an eyebrow, picking at the rice on her plate.
"Why don't you tell him?"
"Because every time we talk it ends in harsh words and a fight," she explained taking a bite of her sandwich, the bread was indeed stale.
"I could mention it to him," Finn offered grinning that same amused cocky grin that never seems to leave his face. Raven rolled her eyes behind his back and even Octavia struggled to keep her scoff to herself.
"Thanks," Clarke mumbled, turning to look at anyone and anywhere else besides the three sketchy people at her table. She noticed that it was quite an interesting setting. The girls were scattered about, some sitting with other girls forming a larger group, giggling and gossiping. Some were sitting with the boys, shamelessly flirting and indulging in what appeared to be deep conversations. There were many couples around that Clarke hadn't noticed before, but of course with this many teens in one place, living under one roof, hormones would be flying against the wall. What surprised her the most was that no one was alone, everyone was either in a group or in pairs, the dynamic here blew her mind. They stuck together not because they were forced to, or because they had similar sob stories, no, they stuck together because they wanted to. Because standing together despite being abandoned by their families was a lot less heart wrenching than standing alone.
As she continued to scan the crowd, her theory of sticking together failed. There was one boy, who seemed to have been watching her this whole time. His hair was black, darker than the night sky, and eyes blue-green of what would be the most beautiful lagoon, like the ones Clarke used to read about. The look in those eyes though, made her want to vomit, because it was a look Clarke knew all too well.
"That's Atom, he used to be in Alpha Squad but got demoted," Finn quipped in following her line of sight. Octavia tensed in front of her, spoon shaking in her hand as she played with her food.
"Why did he get demoted?" The group around her silenced. Finn didn't have that smile on his face, and he even refused to look at her instead focusing on the wrapping around his tomato less pieces of bread. She searched for Raven's eyes, but they didn't make contact with her either, finally Octavia sighed and gave in.
"We had a thing, like a tiny fling when Bellamy brought him here a year ago, but then big brother found out and well, you can imagine the rest," Octavia explained looking slightly torn but mostly disgusted with her brother. Clarke nodded, trying to seem like she understood but truthfully she didn't. She never had someone be so overprotective with her, even her own mother wasn't that bad. And the males in her family consisted of her father who died before seeing her fall in love or be in an actual relationship, and Wells who had a crush on her once upon a time and even then he wasn't a jealous protective freak.
"Must suck," Raven supplied and before anyone else could get a word in, Monty and Jasper joined the table crackling at something that happened in the engineer room. Behind them, blonde hair and a quirky smile, Wick, who Clarke learned his first name was Kyle, came pulling up a chair from the next table over and dragging it so he sat side by side with Raven.
She heard Raven groan but that seemed to make Wick's smile broaden as he settled in to eat. From there the conversations took off, the awkwardness between Finn and Raven still present but hiding behind Jasper's loud laughter and Wick's retelling of what actually happened in the engineering room. Clarke chanced a glance at Atom who was still sitting alone, not eating, not paying attention to anyone else but her, and Clarke's heart jittered in her chest.
"So that seaweed you were mentioning, I know where it is," Octavia said as she walked into the medbay the next morning. It was quiet, Harper and Clarke were sitting on the bench doing inventory of the supplies and medicinal plants.
"That's cool and all but we really need to get this done before another patient arrives," Harper rushed out, going back to counting the cotton balls and cloth wraps.
"Did you tell your brother?" Clarke asked picking up her pen and writing down the final numbers of each of the herbs in the jars in front of her.
"Yes, and he said he doesn't have time to run around getting the 'princess' what she needs," Clarke rolled her eyes and Octavia stepped closer to her continuing, "which is why I am here to help you, the seaweed you mentioned, it's the orange stringy looking one right?" she asked.
"Yeah," Clarke nodded, "but we can't go beyond the wall—"
"It's not beyond the wall, it's like a twenty-minute walk to the lake," she explained. Clarke didn't realize there was a lake around here, which was stupid because obviously they had to get their water supply from somewhere, yet when she came here on her first night she never saw any sign of a body of a water around.
"Ok, we'll have to go now while it's quiet, lunch ends soon and the line-up will start ten minutes after,"
With that, they bid Harper goodbye and left the dropship with a backpack and four containers, Clarke didn't know when they'd be able to go back to the lake again. They walked down the rolling hills and well paved path before the lining of tall green trees welcomed them. Clarke realized that they were walking in the complete opposite direction of where the wall is.
The Dropship's location was strategically placed so that no one accidentally found it. It was located in front of a road that was abandoned and probably forgotten because no cars have come by since she came. On either side of it, about a mile down, were several patches of green before meeting the woods or the outer side of Arkadia near the wall. The guards and patrols are too busy making sure that no one enters or exits that they don't bother searching the surrounded area which makes it easier for the crew at the Dropship to live out their days without so much worry.
"Is Atom the one you tried protecting," Clarke asked the question that's been eating her up since she found out his history with Octavia.
"No, we were together for like ten days before Bellamy flipped shit," she trotted up ahead guiding them.
"What happened?"
"Basically, Bell found him in an ally in Arkadia with a broken arm and bruises," she peeked over her shoulder at Clarke, "his father used to beat him," she sighed but it came out softer, in sorrow, "he saw me. I mean he really saw me, made me feel wanted and pretty and I could have fallen in love with him. I tried to talk to him after but he gave me the cold shoulder and pushed me away. I was pissed at Bellamy for weeks after, but then I realized that if he didn't care about me enough to fight for me than why should I bother?"
Clarke admired her then. She knew how easy it was to fall for the idea of being wanted, feeling like you are loved or can be. She didn't know Octavia's story, not clearly, not from her anyway, but she did understand how love can be welcoming especially when you've been alone your entire life.
"You shouldn't," she smiled soft at her, "but you guys mentioned he was demoted, what does he do now?"
"I don't know, never talked to him after what happened. We kind of went our separate ways and I think he hated me for what I indirectly did to him,"
"His loss,"
"I know, bastard missed out," Octavia joked and Clarke giggled, genuinely, for the first time in a long time. They continued to walk until they found the lake. Clarke spotted the seaweed first, telling Octavia to wait where she is while she goes to get it.
She smelled the fresh air, felt the cool breeze that came from being close to the water. It was longer and wider than she expected it to be. She could faintly make out the lines indented deep below where the pipes probably ran. There were large boulders surrounding the area and since the woods on this side of Arkdaia stretched far, the place was secluded. If they weren't on a tight schedule she would have explored, maybe even scouted an escape route for when she needs a quick getaway, if she wasn't able to succeed in her mission.
"Octavia, can you toss me another container?" She asked looking up from gathering the orange slimy leaves, but Octavia wasn't around. Getting up quickly, she moved around the water to where she last saw Octavia but she wasn't there. The place around her was dead silent and she knew she was alone. She pushed past a couple of boulders before hitting the ground running through the trees in the direction she believed Octavia would have wondered to. Branches were scrapping her arms and one cut a thin strip of skin on her cheek but she didn't care, kept moving forward, pushing faster.
She came to a clearing where she found the brunette circling a beaten down, dark brown wooden farmhouse.
"Octavia!" Clarke shouted out of breath. Octavia jumped slightly her eyes widening as she took in the blonde's tired state, "What the fuck?" Clarke asked her making her way closer to her.
"Sorry, Ok, listen," she tried to reason but Clarke was furious and her heart was still pounding hard from the scare she had and all the running she did.
"You didn't come with me just to get the fucking seaweed, you came to see whoever you were protecting," Clarke put it together looking at her accusingly. Octavia gave a nod with sad eyes and if Clarke wasn't about to faint she would have felt sorry for her.
"Clarke, I need to see him," she begged, and Clarke's eyes soften at that. She knew love like that, desperation, need to save someone but feeling helpless. With Octavia's situation and her overbearing brother, the yearning in her voice hurt Clarke. She gave her a curt nod finally catching her breath before speaking.
"Fine, but it has to be quick, we've been gone too long and it's a long walk back," she agreed turning to examine the trees that surrounded them. There was no sign of anyone else.
"He's late, he said he was coming," Octavia muttered frantically. Clarke didn't know who 'he' was but she hoped he would show because the girl in front of her was close to tears and Clarke didn't know if she could handle that.
They waited ten minutes more before Clarke got up from leaning against the side of the house and motioning for Octavia that they have to leave now. Octavia took one more pleading glance at the woods and nodded in defeat.
"Just let me look around one last time," she said walking away and around the farmhouse. It was a large house, slightly shaped like a barn with a wide front porch and huge shutter windows, it had a smell, and the mold oozing out of it was unsettling. She tried hard not to imagine what it would have looked like years back, the family that would have lived here, probably now long gone.
"Ok, Octavia, let's go," Clarke called out, but received no response. She sighed and walked over to the back of the house but Octavia was nowhere to be seen. She was just about to shout her name again when she felt something hard hit her head, and her eyes rolled back as she felt her body go limp.
"Oh look, Princess is up," a sneering unfamiliar voice whispered in her ear. She jolted back only to find that her hands were tied up, pressing deep into her backbone and her feet tied up right in front of her. She looked around hastily trying to find Octavia, when she spotted the girl in tears with a cloth tightly secured around her mouth and feet and hands tied together like her own.
"W-what?" Clarke asked still in a haze from the hard blow against her head.
"No no, stay awake, Beautiful, I need you to talk to mommy so she knows you're still alive," the voice teased pulling her hair back with a solid tug. She met those blue-green lagoon-like eyes with shock. Atom let her strands loose coming around to kneel in front of her, "Does Blake know you like your hair pulled?" he smirked and she fought the urge to spit in his face. She can't provoke him, not with Octavia on the other side of the room, and his unstable state. She realized that they were inside the dirty farmhouse, he had a lantern on one side of the large room light gleaming against Octavia's tears and a torch on the other side letting her see his traitorous face clearly.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm getting what I deserve," he answered with a shrug, "your little friend here ruined my life," he all but growled at Octavia, "So now I'm going to let her watch as I send you off to Jaha with information about how to kill her son-of-a-bitch brother and then I'm going to kill her," he smiled wickedly pulling out a knife. He walked out of the room when a ring was heard, smirking at them once before leaving.
"Octavia, when they come to get me I'll try to stall them and him as much as possible. You need to run," Octavia screamed through the gag but Clarke shook her head quickly, "Hey, no it's okay, you need to run. I won't let them do anything to the Dropship but I need you to kick, scream, fight your way away from him." She explained fixing her with a steady gaze. Octavia nodded her head up and down in two quick strides, eyes blazing with determination. Clarke sighed relieved and promised herself that when her mother or whoever was coming to take her away came, that she wouldn't let them see Octavia or hurt her.
"Mommy's coming," Atom announced walking back into the room. He twirled his knife in his hand coming to stand in front of Octavia this time.
"Don't touch her!" Clarke bit out in anger. He chuckled darkly turning to look at her with raging eyes.
"Funny how you easily defend this girl you don't know," he faced Octavia again getting closer to her, "Does she know how you threw yourself at me, wide open, wet and ready?" he grazed his knife along her cheek watching in enjoyment as the tears rushed down. Clarke battled the bile that rose in her throat, thrashing around to somehow get loose. Atom glanced at her over his shoulder and before she can spit at him or curse his name, he fell back with his mouth a gap.
"Fucker," Octavia swore, pulling a knife Clarke hadn't seen from Atom's abdomen. She must have had the knife tucked in somewhere Atom didn't bother checking. She went to go untie her feet but she wasn't quick enough because in seconds Atom reached out slicing her exposed collar bone while his other hand pressed against his wound.
Clarke moved quick, her head snapping when she felt movement come from outside the farmhouse. She shuffled on her butt across the floor to where the torch was and kicked it until it fell in front of her sending the floor to go up in flames. She twisted until her hands were above the fire, burning the rope in between them as well as the skin of her fingers. She cried out in pain and a second later her hands were free. She quickly went to untie her feet when she looked over to find that Octavia was lying on the floor and two figures were fighting near her. She could see one of them being Atom but couldn't tell who the other person was.
The smoke filled her lungs and blurred her vision, she rushed to Octavia's side tugging her up and putting half her weight into her side as she struggled to get them out. The second figure must have knocked Atom out because he came closer to them taking Octavia from Clarke and carrying her out of the house.
The outside air welcomed them as they moved to get further away from the fire. Clarke noticed the figure must be the 'he' Octavia was waiting for. He lifted her delicately, placing her to the side assessing her cuts and scrapes.
"We need to put the fire out before anyone sees the smoke rise, or a forest fire starts!" Clarke called to him but if he heard her, he made no indication continuing to assess and aid Octavia's helpless body. Movement from the left side of the burning wooden house caught her eye and the relief filled her body up when she saw Miller and a group of Alpha Squad come into view. Miller nodded his understanding to her and he directed the group to put the fire out.
"We need to get out of here fast, Atom called the council, my mom is coming,"
"We know, Raven intercepted the call. Thanks to you, we were able to monitor all calls incoming and outgoing that are made by the council," Miller said patting her back before going to check on Octavia.
"How did you know where to find us?"
"Harper told us where you two were after you were an hour late coming back," he explained.
She watched on as group of well-trained fighters put out the fire using the water from the lake. They worked a system, moving back and forth efficiently until the fire was completely out leaving a fog of dark cloud above them.
It was then that she noticed Bellamy. Furious, with his jaw clenched and eyes dark, he was carrying a limp body in his arms before throwing it to the ground. Clarke's stomach twisted. Around her Alpha Squad were now making their way back to the Dropship and Miller followed Octavia's savior as he carried her. No one looked over at their rebel leader or her.
"Bellamy," she murmured, but he gave her a cold look that sent ice rushing through her veins.
He looked at the body in front of him, disgust and hatred covering every inch of his freckled face. He turned the head of the body over with the toe of his boot so he was looking at Atom's face.
"Bellamy," she tried again, but this time he didn't even acknowledge her. He bent down, prying the knife that was frozen in Atom's hand. From where she stood, Clarke could see Atom's eyes shifting in fear, his breath wheezing out of him and burns covering ninety percent of his body, he was a fighter, and she couldn't help but think what a shame it must be to lose someone like him. All because Bellamy let his ego and anger consume him.
Now she was angry, Atom may be a dick, and what he just did wasn't and will never be excusable but he was a shattered boy who came to find refuge in a place that claimed to welcome all misfits and unwanted members of this world, and yet he was refused, even then. She stepped closer and bent down on the opposite side of Bellamy. He looked up at her with furrowed brows but she threw a sharp glare at him taking the knife from between his hand. She focused on Atom's shriveled body in front of her.
"Pl..e... ase…k…ill…me" he wheezed out taking up whatever energy he had left. Clarke nodded, gripping the knife tighter. She was aware of the brown eyes on her, and how the world suddenly seemed to stop. The faint smell of burning wood and a hue of smoke covered them as she continued to stare at the dying boy in front of her.
"Ok," she whispered, gripping the knife tighter, she inched closer, hesitantly running her hand down the back of his head. His dark hair, sweaty and filled with ash and dust, she petted him over and over, "Ok," she repeated as he looked up at her, waiting, gasping for air.
Soft flesh met the blade, a pool of red was dripping out of the cut and she watched it coat the knife and then the side of his neck puddling on the ground in the area around her. Slowly, Atom gave out a final wheeze, his eyes rolling back, body stilling. Clarke's fingers continued to sooth him, running down his hair, over and over, when she recognized that Miller had come back. She didn't make eye contact with him nor Bellamy. She simply stood up from her crouched position, fingers and shoes covered in dirt and blood, she pushed through following the path that the others had gone down. She didn't see any of them though, figuring that they must have reached the Dropship by now or were nearly there.
The woods were unmoving and quiet, almost like they knew what had just happened. Her sobs caught in her throat, tears burning her eyes threatening to spill. She didn't want to cry, but if she had to release this pent up pain, if she had to grieve a boy who tried to kill her, if she had to come to terms with what her life has become, then crying in the middle of the abandoned woods would be the best way to do it. So she did, she cried and muffled the sound of her sobs with her palm pressed tightly over her lips. What happened, brought back memories she fought hard to suppress, it made her realize more clearly that she cannot and will not run from her fate. No matter what changes she hopes to make in this world, no matter how hard Lexa or Bellamy or even fucking Jaha fought, the outcome for her, would always be the same.
She gathered herself up, wiping her tears with the back of her hand hurriedly before Miller and Bellamy came back from burying the body. She sprinted through the forest, in between the tears, leaving behind the forgotten seaweed and the smell of death and fire.
It was hours past dinner time, long after she usually went to sleep when she was coming back from the medbay. She spent the rest of her time there, hiding from everyone and everything. The steady flow of patients allowed for the distraction she desperately sought. Harper and Monty having heard all about her adventure were eerily whispering to each other unsure of how to approach her, but she shrugged it off and conversed with them first, playing it off as another one of the terrors she needs to get used to while being here.
She was walking back to her room when Jasper called her name. The door to his shared room with Monty was wide open, Raven was there, sitting on one of the beds crossed legged.
"Hey, I think I'm just going to head to bed," she jerked her thumb across the hall to her own room but Monty came up from behind her guiding her into his room, Harper following closely.
"No, we need to drink our worries away with the shitty moonshine that Jasper made!"
"Hey! It's not that bad,"
"Yes it is, that's what you get for making it without me," Monty rolled his eyes handing a cup to Harper and Clarke. Clarke ignored their banter, taking a seat next to Raven who looked at her with worried eyes.
"How's Octavia?" Clarke asked no one in particular. After coming back from the woods she raced to the medbay only to find Octavia hadn't been there, she wanted to go search for her, make sure she was okay but then some guy came in with a bad cold and the idea of going back out there and possibly running into Bellamy was enough to keep her in place.
"She's fine, Lincoln took care of her," Clarke faced Raven who was staring at her lap, twisting a piece of metal in her hand, it was in the shape of a bird. Lincoln must have been the Grounder Octavia was in love with, the one she was trying to protect weeks ago.
"Miller told me you intercepted the call Atom made," it wasn't supposed to be a question but Clarke couldn't help her questioning tone. Raven only nodded, taking a long sip of the cup in her own hand.
"Yeah, he thought he was speaking to them when he was actually talking to Bryan who pretended to be one of the council men. He wanted details on the reward he'd get for bringing you in, wanted to see if you were worth it or if he could make a pass by asking for more,"
"How did he even know about that, I thought we were the only ones who saw my mom's message?" Raven sighed shrugging her shoulders.
"It was televised everywhere, he might have gotten their hands on it somehow, or eavesdropped like the creep he was," she said, taking another sip from her cup. In all the times Clarke has spoken to Raven, never did she see her look so beat up. She had witnessed her in a compromising position at the hospital all those years ago, seen the tension between her and Finn but it was in this moment that Clarke looked at this nine-teen year old girl and felt the pressure on her shoulders.
"Boss man," Jasper shrieked in glee causing everyone to snap their heads to the figure standing outside the door. Clearly Jasper's shitty moonshine wasn't as shitty as they thought, because he was practically skipping over to greet Bellamy when he tripped falling head first onto the floor at the side of his bed.
"Griffin," Bellamy's eyes grazed over hers, she sighed handing her full cup to Raven and walking outside the room to meet him in the hall. They stood facing each other, she waited for him to speak first seeing as he's the one who called her over but it turns out he was waiting on her.
"What? You have nothing to say now?" she questioned, all the anguish from earlier today that she tried so hard to ignore came rushing back. She remembered the look of pure hatred and violence that glossed over his eyes earlier today.
"What do you want me to say?" His voice gruff with a harsh edge. Truthfully, she didn't know what she wanted him to say. An apology from him was unlikely, and what happened today wasn't really his fault, yet she couldn't help squinting in annoyance.
"You took my sister out, without my fucking permission, got her tied up and nearly killed and you're the one angry?" he probed, eyes livid.
"You're joking," she gasped out utterly enraged now, he couldn't seriously be mad at her. "You don't own me Bellamy, I can leave this Dropship whenever I want, and I wouldn't have had to leave if you weren't being a dick and refusing to get me the seaweed I asked for. And for the record, I had no clue she was meeting that guy. She lied to me too." But before he can unleash his wrath she started again, "Oh, and she's a big girl, she handled herself extremely well today, she actually saved us! But you don't care about that?" she watched him get wilder, brows furrowed, and his frown creating creases she was sure were going to be there forever, "You don't care about that because everyone is put on a leash with you, it's what caused Octavia to go out there today, it's what caused Atom to go bat shit crazy, and it's what caused me to kill him!" she all but yelled in his face, her own turning red and scary.
The voices that could be heard on the other side of the wall and through the open door ceased. Her own heavy breathing mixed with the sound of his, echoed throughout the skybox and if she wasn't so tired she probably would have screamed at him louder or pushed him out of her way and ran out. Nevertheless, she stood still, claiming her ground and feeling entitled for her anger.
"Stay away from my sister," he gritted out, hands balled into fists clenching at his sides, "Watch yourself, the next mistake you make will cost you," he threatened.
"Please Blake," she scoffed shaking her head at him, her lips parted wanting to shove his threat back in his face when he slammed her against the wall with a loud thump.
"You can claim that you want to help, hell you can repeat it over and over, to yourself, to the Grounders, even to Spacewalker, but I don't give a shit about that anymore. Stay away from my sister and mind your own business or you'll be thrown out."
He bent his head down so they were nose to nose, his breath fanning the corner of her mouth and his iron grip tight on her arms. His words met her ears with a sting and she must have let out a gasp or something because soon Raven came out with the rest of them trailing after her. He let her go and she shoved his chest back, swallowing the burning sensation climbing up her throat and shoving back tears. She will not cry, not again, and especially especially not in front of Bellamy Blake.
"Fuck off," she spat out at him, moving past the group that gathered around them and across the hall to her own room. She fell back onto her bed, fighting to keep the tears at bay. Today was the one and only time she would let herself cry, and she already gave in to it in the woods. She can't let her walls down again, not when there was so much at stake now. Bellamy didn't trust her, and even if he had the tiny sliver of trust in her before, it was long gone now. But, she realized, she didn't need his trust. She just needed his people to listen, and that's what she'll do, she'll get them to hear her.
Peace, based on an alliance or treaty, was an option and she was going to make sure they all knew.