The morning comes fast, too fast. Slowly Maura blinks awake, taking in the room around her. It takes her a moment to adjust to the darkness, and when she peeks over at the clock to her right, it reads 6:45am. She breathes in deep, and looks to her left, staring down at her wife who is still sound asleep. It makes her smile.

Jane's arm is draped over Maura's hips, resting just below the bulge of her stomach, and her head is placed directly over Maura's heart. As Maura watches the even rise and fall of her wife's chest she thinks about the future and what it holds; what it'll be like to wake up having a tiny human curled around her body instead of the grown one she has now. So many things- so many moments to look forward to and she can hardly wait.

Gently she shimmies out of Jane's hold and swings her legs over the edge of the bed. She wanders into the kitchen, standing for a moment in the darkness to look around her. The house is quiet, the only noise coming from the ticking of the clock hung up on the wall. She can hear a lone bird chirping just beyond that kitchen window and she smiles. Morning is her favourite. There's just something about being the only person awake in a world that is still so peacefully asleep that brings her such a sense of calmness that she feels as though she can do anything; like she's invincible.

She pulls the curtain in the kitchen open and the light streams in, ridding the room of it's darkness. Folding her arms over her chest, she turns, and her attention is caught by the shimmering polka dot package that still lays untouched on the counter top. She moves to it, running her fingers over the smooth packaging, imagining what could possibly lay beneath its surface.

She is taken from her moment of silence by her front door pushing open to reveal a tanned Angela. The woman takes one sight of her and smiles, making her way around the counter to lay a kiss upon her temple.

"Good morning, love." she says happily.

Maura smiles and feels her heart warming with something she can't quite place.

"Good morning, Angela."

The woman smiles once more, beginning her daily actions around the kitchen. Ever since she got pregnant, Angela has made sure that Maura needn't lift a finger, and as wonderful as it's been, she is getting restless.

"Angela," she begins. "I can really hold the fort around here, it's not a problem."

Angela wiggles her finger in Maura's direction. "Stop trying. Not going to happen."

The older woman holds a mug of tea out for Maura and she accepts it gratefully. The heat from the mug permeates through Maura's fingers, bringing a sense of calming to her bones.

"Come," Angela says, raising her hand to rest on Maura's back. "Come sit with me."

The two find their way to the backyard, placing themselves gingerly on the two chairs laid out upon the patio. Neither one speaks, both just sit in silence and enjoy the moment they have together.

"Angela," Maura finally breaks through the quiet. "Can I ask you something?"

Angels turns to her, resting her hand under her chin. "Of course."

Maura nods and looks down, watching a group of ants as they attempt to build an ant hill. She struggles to find the courage to say what she has been pulling at her insides all this time.

"You have three kids." She begins.

Angela nods. "Three trouble makers. Three pains in my ass."

Maura wants to laugh at the joke but she can't. There's too much on her mind.

"How..." she begins. "How did you do it?"

Her words are quiet. They sound like a little kid scared of the boogyman in her closet. She hears the worry laced in with her own words and silently kicks herself for letting herself get to insecure; so scared.

Angela laughs. "I didn't have any kind of strategy, Maur." she says, resting her hand on the blond woman's leg. "You learn as you go."

"But what is it exactly that you learn?" she questions.

"You learn to be patient. You learn to be soft. You learn what to learn as you go. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Maura shakes her head. "No."

The complete fear on the woman's face makes Angela's heart ache in a good way. She stands and moves closer to Maura, perching herself on the edge of the chair the smaller woman is sitting on.

Silently, she stretches her arms out and Maura finds comfort in the softness she finds there, laying her head flush against Angela's chest.

"You know, kiddo, some things you just can't prepare yourself for. I see you with all your little mommy books, your nose so deep inside them you get ink on it." she pulls back for a moment only to lay a kiss on the top of her head, resting her cheek over Maura's crown before continuing. "Nothing you read can tell you how to be a mother. No amount of words or definitions or explanations can prepare you for that. It has to be something you teach yourself. Every kid is different. Every mother is different. So reading something that a different mother wrote about her kid is about as useful as... I don't know, washing clean dishes."

Maura breathes deep, releasing as much frustration into Angela's arms as she possibly can.

"I don't want to mess it all up."

Immediately, the older woman responds. "You are not going to mess it all up."

She shakes her head. "What happens if I do?"

Angela places a hand on each of Maura's shoulders, holding her just far enough to look into her eyes.

"Then you just keep going. You pick up the pieces and kiss it better and move on." She squeezes her shoulders, reassuring. "It's okay to make mistakes, Maura."

She nods. "I know, I just... I want to be a good mom."

"Let me ask you this," Angela says, matter of factly. "Do you love her?"

Maura's eyes widen, her mouth dropping open slightly before her eyes go serious, fierce. "More than anything." She says.

Angela presses her lips gently to Maura's forehead.

"Then you already are."

Apologies for holding out for so long.
I hope this was up to your standards.
It's not so much a memory, but a moment that I thought was necessary.
Enjoy.

Blessings
O