Beckett rubbed her belly, the swelling of the seven month making her uncomfortable. And on top of that, her hormones were raging, exaggerating all of her thoughts and emotions. She was sitting on the couch thinking about Alexis. Even after all this time it wasn't getting any easier; it still hurt so bad.
She felt her nose twitch, a sure sign that she was going to cry. A few wet tears rolled down her cheeks and her breath hitched quietly.
"What's wrong, Kate?" Castle heard her from the kitchen, approaching in an instant. He had been coping well. It was still just as hard, but he tried his best to carry on for his little girl and prepare for his new one. Everything he did now was for both of them and his wife.
She had been thinking about the outcome of Alexis' case. "It's my job to protect people, and I can't even protect our own daughter." She looked him in the eyes, tears about to flow again.
"Kate, stop blaming yourself for Alexis' death. I should have picked up on what was going on. But there's no way we could have known what was going on." He wrapped his arms around her, kissed her shoulder, and sat close.
Alexis had been dating a new guy. When she had brought him over to meet Rick and Kate,he seemed like a very respectful, young gentleman. That's how Alexis had made him out to be as well. But what she hadn't told them was that she was also helping him with his problems. Alexis had such a kind heart, and Luke had had a problem with drugs. They were working on getting him clean, but one night when he was under the influence, he got violent. and was too rough with her. Luke had grabbed her and threw her to the wall and hit her head, killing her. That same night, he over dosed, killing himself as well.
Kate remembered every detail of that day. The call from Espo, leaving for the crime scene, being there, telling Castle. God, that had been the hardest part. It was absolutely heartbreaking. She'd never been more devastated in her entire life.
Everything had been fine the first couple of months; each helping the other cope and mourn. But soon, things turned. In the seven years they had known each other it was the longest fight they had had. Every night was a screaming match, for so many reasons and for no reason at all. She was certain they were headed for divorce.
Til one day, Castle found a letter from Alexis tucked in a box of her things. It was a letter saying goodbye. She had written it just in case something were to happen to let her father know that everything was okay. It had also told him not to blame or take anything out on anyone, including himself.
It had made him think about all the horrible things he had said to the love of his life, his wife, when they were fighting. She was there for him and all he did was shake her off. But no matter what, she stayed right by his side. Why, why would she want to stay with a husband like that? Because she loved him; and he loved her. And that was what had turned their lives around. They stopped fighting and started working on their marriage and focusing on their new family. Everything was turning around.