(Hey, everyone I have a poll to see whom u want to win so please vote)

Dear Diary,

Yao is losing his grip. His last move was too pitiful for words. Yeah I'll admit the bees nest wasn't to bad. In addition, Hong Kong's firecrackers well that was pretty good to. Now I know what I'm about to do to day is childish but I don't care. Now I'm not going to tell you what it is I'm going to do. However, it will be better then flushing the toilet when he is in the shower. Oh I can't wait until it gets here. Yao will just die when he see it. Please forgive me Heracles-san but my heated passion for you will have to be put on hold. My brother must end up in tears when this ends. I hope he dose cry like a little baby. If he doesn't I'm going to be really disappointed.

Kiku closed the little purple book and sat there thinking. Yao wasn't home at the moment so he would have to work quickly. The Japanese knew that his brother was scared shit-less by snakes. So with one small phone call to a friend of his, Kiku got his hands on a 12 foot long ball python named Bob. Now he needed to think of where to hide Bob. The snake would be here any moment. Kiku was tingling with excitement. The door bell rang. He ran to the door. A box with air holes was waiting at his feet. In red letters, it said Alive Handle With Care. One corner of the box was dented in and the tape was starting to come undone. So much for the warning. Kiku dragged the box into the house. Who knew that a 12 foot long snake would weigh so much. Bob hissed as she was moved across the floor in the box. Bob was not a happy snake. For one Bob stupid owner gave her a boy's name, two Bob did not travel well. "Dang this is heavy." Kiku mumbled.

'I've lost weight thank you.' Bob thought with a displeased hiss. Who ever open this box was going to be eaten for calling her fat.

He dragged the box into Yao's bedroom. He was glad that no one was home but him someone might stop him. Kiku open the box. The snake recognized him and decided not to eat him. "Hello there Bob long time no see. Hey do you want to play a trick on my brother?" Kiku said to the snake.

"Hisss hiss, hissssss." (I'm not a dog you moron, but I don't see why not) Bob replied. She didn't really care what happen she just wanted out of the box. That and get was good way to relies her bild up anger. Kiku carefully pulled the snake from the box and dragged her to Yao's bed. The snake crawled under the covers. The bed was nice and warm, but smelled like a Russian. 'Dang this Russian needs to lay off the vodka' Bob thought before she fell asleep. Kiku crept out of the room. He didn't want to be in the house when Yao found Bob in his bed. He grabbed the phone and called his crush and asked if he wanted to go see this new movie that as out. Heracles of course agreed. Kiku hung up and giggled.

….

Yao open the door to his home. It dark out and raining in light droplets. It was hard to un-lock the door when in a lip lock with his much taller boyfriend. Finally, the door opened. Ivan un-did the buttons of Yao's shirt. "Bedroom….now….Ivan." Yao panted between heavy kisses. The Russian lifted the Chinese man up into his arm. He un-did his hair from the rubber band. Clothes were scattered every where in the hallway. Ivan flopped him down on the bed only missing Bob by a few inches. Bob moved out of the way, poking her head from under the blanket. She was then face-to-face with a freaked out Asian. Yao blinked his eyes before jumping off the bed screaming.

….

Kiku thought that Yao would have found Bob by now so he opened the door to the house. He didn't even see the clothes on the floor when something grabbed his full attention. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Kill it Ivan, kill it!" Yao screamed. Kiku ran to the room. Africa would kill him if anything happen to Bob. Kiku almost broke down the door trying to open it. His eye twitched as he saw both Yao and Ivan half-naked. Yao was still screaming and pointing at his bed. Ivan smiled at Kiku and waved as if this was an every day type thing.

Bob looked at Kiku then to the screaming Asian. She slithered off the bed and made her way over to Kiku. This only made Yao scream more as he tried to climb up Ivan's arm. The Russian smiled and wrapped his arms around Yao's thin waist. 'That stupid Russian almost dropped the flat chest girl on me.' Bob thought as the Japanese man picked her up. Kiku went and put her back in the box and sent her back to Africa. When he came back, Yao was close to tears. The Russia did his best to calm the smaller man down.

"What the hell? Why was there a….a huge snake in my bed?"

"Why are the two of you half naked?"

"You know exactly why we are."

"Gross. Can't you two do that at his place? And don't play stupid you know exactly why there was a snake in your bed." Kiku growled. Yao shook Ivan off and stomped over to his little brother. Yao placed ear plugs in Kiku's hands. He smiled coldly.

"Trust me you'll be needing these tonight. Isn't that right sweetie." Yao winked and pushed Kiku out of the room. Kiku stood outside the door with his eye twitching. He grumbled as he slammed the door to his room close.

….

Dear Diary,

I hate Yao so much right now. The snake didn't get to him that badly. That and the earplugs did not help at all. Poor Ivan let's just leave it at that, poor, poor Ivan. Last night must have been hell for him. I never thought he would be uke. Oh and the movie I saw with Heracles-san was so funny. We will have to go see it again. I hope that next time it will be a date. A real date. Bob wasn't to happy about being sent back home. Bob even ate one of Yao's kitty-chan dolls. Luckyly it wasn't one of the rare ones. Yao still won't be happy when he sees that another one is gone. Oh well serves him right. Teehee!