So I suck the most because my readers got used to me updating daily and now they wait at least a week between updates. I wish I had a better excuse but I'm finding it hard to find the time and motivation to write these days. I promise to finish my stories, but I might not post any new stories until they're finished on my computer. This chapter is ridiculously short but super important. Enjoy!
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Rachel stood on the stage in the auditorium. She stared out into the dark theatre and thought over everything that Noah had said to her. She could no longer pretend that she could have both Finn and her dreams. Quinn had told her and so had everyone else. Noah hadn't bothered trying to convince her, he knew eventually she'd face the facts. She now needed to decide which was most important to her.
It was true that she loved Finn and she had worked so hard to make their relationship work. She had loved the idea of their fairytale romance. Sure, they'd had more than their share of setbacks, and yes okay Finn was no prince. They'd dealt with infidelity and lies. They'd waded through time apart, spent alone and with other people. There had been countless arguments and mistakes. She had done her best to be a person that Finn could love and eventually he had.
Huh.
Damn Noah and his insight.
Back to the point, they had been through a lot. Was she really willing to walk away now after all of her hard work?
The same could be said for New York though. She had been working her whole life to achieve her dreams. She had entered any and every talent showcase, desperate to have an impressive resume and perhaps be discovered early in life. She had forgone a social life, instead taking an insane amount of dance and vocal lessons. She had pushed her body and her psyche to the limit on a daily basis all in the name of ambition. She'd withstood bullying and downright harassment all because she knew that one day her talent would take her farther than any of the cynical bullies who tormented her. She would leave them and their horrible little town in her rear-view mirror. They'd all spend their miserable lives bragging about how they once knew Rachel Berry, New York's darling and America's sweetheart.
If she stayed with Finn than all of the bullying and torment would be for naught. They would be right about her. She didn't care what people thought of her, not really. But what would she think of her if she stayed here in Lima forever?
Rachel shook her head against the thoughts and continued to stare out into the darkness. She closed her eyes and began to hum unconsciously; unaware of the action until she began to sing the melody.
Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing
The side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm the only one
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
Maybe it's hopeless
Maybe I should just give up
And what if I can't trust myself
What if I just need some help
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
Rachel opened her eyes and looked out into the empty seats. She remembered all of her performances on this stage. The first song that New Directions sang together. The Invitational's performance that April Rhodes had slurred her way through before Rachel came in as the understudy. Countless duets with Finn and a few diva-offs. The applause and trophies won at Sectionals and Regionals this past year. Those wins and performances had meant the world to her. But looking out into the dark theatre she realised that she couldn't imagine not performing somewhere bigger. On a bigger stage, to a bigger audience, who paid to see her; Rachel Berry.
She couldn't spend the rest of her life remembering her few moments on stage and wondering what if.
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