On Friday, we left for New York City after school ended for the weekend. I was with Kaylee in my dad's car after we had permission while the other crew took two cars. One in Mrs. Willis' car and the others in Mr. Willis's car. I was very quiet and Dad was the one who noticed that.

"You're pretty quiet this afternoon," said Dad.

"Are you nervous about the wake?" asked Dawn.

"Don't make her upset even more," said Dad in his firm voice.

"I agree. It's not a good time to mention it," added Kaylee.

To be honest, I knew Dawn was right. I am nervous about attending the wake tonight.

"Dawn's right," I said. "I'm a bit nervous about attending Kayla's wake. I haven't gone to the funeral since Amelia's death."

Dawn took my hand and said, "Everything will be okay. You made out fine during that time."

"That's true," I said. "I never been to the wake though. That's why I'm nervous. Both Mimi and Amelia had funeral masses."

"You got a strong point on that," said Dawn.

In New York City, we were at the apartment. I spotted their grandparents and went to hug them.

"Hi, Mary Anne, I'm surprised to see you here," said Jeffrey.

"I figured I'd try the wake to see how it goes," I said.

"How are you doing?" asked Ginnie.

"Not well. I didn't take the news very well," I said. "I haven't gone to school all this week."

"I bet," said Jeffrey.

"At least I get to see Kayla before she passed at the hospital. When Kaylee told me, I thought she was kidding because we had just saw Kayla," I said.

"Hi, Gramps," said Kaylee. "Hi, Granny."

"Hi, Kaylee," said Jeffrey.

"How are you feeling?" asked Ginnie.

"I'm just trying to be strong," replied Kaylee.

I already knew she was strong. But I decided to not to say anything at the moment.

"Good," said Jeffrey. "Just keep going stronger every day."

My other friends arrived an hour later with the Willis family. Later, I was getting ready for Kayla's wake. I had a black dress on. After that, I went to Jeffrey.

"I'm getting a bit nervous to attend the wake. I never been to one. What if I act upset in front of everyone? I'd be so embarrassed," I said.

"Those feelings are normal," said Jeffrey.

"I did fine last time I went to a friend's funeral mass after she was killed in a car crash by a drunk driver before your family moved to Stoneybrook," I said. "So, I hope I would be okay tonight. That's what I'm worried about."

"Would you like to sit by me?" asked Jeffrey.

"Sure," I answered.

I'm glad he asked me that. Kaylee asked to do the same, so I agreed to do so. Ginnie is sjtting with Jeffrey.

I also wanted Dad to be near me, so I went to him and said, "Mind if you sit near me?"

"Of course," said Dad with a grin.

"Both Jeffrey and Kaylee asked me if they would want to sit near me as well," I said. "Ginnie would be with her husband."

"That's good," said Dad.

"I know," I said. "I'm nervous about how I could act at a wake. I'm scared to embarrass myself."

"It'll be alright," said Dad.

When I made sure Kaylee wasn't around, who was probably in the living room, I said, "I learned Kaylee is trying strong before I did, but I choose not to say anything right now."

"I don't blame you. You can always ask her what she did to become strong when the time is right," said Dad.

That made sense to me. Thank god Dad always know what to do.

"It's almost time to leave for the wake," announced Mrs. Willis.

"Okay," I said. "I'm ready to go anyway."

At the Dodge-Thomas Funeral Home, I saw Kayla in an open casket. I noticed the directors gave her a wig to get her ready. That was starting to bother me a lot. I knelt near her to pray and went to sit near Jeffrey, Dad, and Kaylee.

When it began, I tried very hard not to cry. When Dad noticed I was in tears, he took my hand to comfort me. Plus, Kaylee had her arm around me. I'm surprised she wasn't even upset at all, not even after she told me the news about her sister's death.

"If anyone wants to make a speech about Kayla, you're welcome to do so at the funeral mass tomorrow," said the funeral director.

I don't think that would be for me, especially when I feel emotional about my best friend- the one whom I just lost. I'd be afraid I would start weeping. During the wake, I was still in tears. An hour later, I couldn't take it anymore and I got up heading to the lobby. At first, no one noticed I walked out until Dad did.

"Jeffrey, where's Mary Anne?" asked Dad in a whisper.

Jeffrey noticed I wasn't there and said, "Kaylee, did Mary Anne walk out?"

"She must have. I didn't even notice that," replied Kaylee.

"Excuse me, I'll go see where she is," said Dad in a low voice as he got up. "I got a feeling this was too much painful for her to handle."

"I think so, too," said Kaylee.

Out in the lobby, I was still sobbing while sitting on the floor with my head near my legs. When Dad came out, he noticed that as he went over and sat next to me.

"Are you alright, honey?" asked Dad.

"I just couldn't handle it in there," I replied while I was still bawling. "I came out so I won't embarrass myself in there."

"It's going to be okay," said Dad putting his hand around me and I hugged him.

"The wake just bothers me," I said. "I just want to go back to the apartment. Would Jeffrey mind if I do that? I don't want to stay here any longer."

"I don't think he'll mind. Let me go tell him," said Dad as he got up and went inside to Jeffrey. "Mary Anne asked me if she can go back to the apartment. She couldn't handle the wake."

"Okay. I don't blame her. I can go bring her there and come back here since the wake would be done soon," said Jeffrey.

"Thank you," said Dad.

At the apartment, I ran into the room and shut the door. Later, when the others returned, I didn't come out. I was still weeping.

"I wonder how Mary Anne is doing," said Dad.

"I can go see her," said Kristy.

In the room, I didn't heard anyone knock when Kristy came in noticing I was curled up in a ball crying. She sat next to me.

"Are you going to be okay?" asked Kristy.

"I just couldn't stay at the wake," I replied as I sat up wiping my tears. "I don't think I'll go to the funeral or see Kayla get buried. It would be too emotional for me. I don't want to get depressed all over again."

"I get what you're saying," said Kristy.

"At least I'd still have you, Dawn, and Kaylee as my best friends, but it wouldn't be the same without Kayla," I said.

"We can all help you get better. I promise you that," said Kristy comforting me.

"Thanks," I said trying to smile.

Dad came by and said, "How is she doing?"

"I'm still feeling upset at this moment. I'm not going to the funeral or the burial to start crying all over again," I answered.

"I don't blame you, sweetie. You don't have to if you don't want to. At least you tried the wake though. That's all it matters," said Dad.

"True, I guess," I said.

Even though I went to bed by ten, I didn't even go to sleep right away. I just missed Kayla way too much. I sat up in bed trying not to cry. I was afraid to wake anyone up here.

I almost started sobbing and went out there with tears rolling down. Out there, I was on the couch while I started crying softly. I guess Kaylee knew I was up because she came out and noticed me as she sat on the couch with me. Then, when I noticed her, I hugged her while I was still weeping.

"I noticed you were up, so I came out to see if you were okay," said Kaylee putting her arm around me.

"I'm just having a tough time missing Kayla," I said. "You're lucky that you're getting stronger than I am."

"I'm sure you will one day," said Kaylee.

"I just hope so," I said.

"Kayla would be in our hearts everyday," said Kaylee. "I'll help you to be strong like me."

I didn't want to tell her that I was jealous.

We tried to talk quietly. Dad apparently knew I was up, too and came out to join us.

"Is she okay?" asked Dad.

"I knew she was up and I came out to see if she's alright," said Kaylee.

"And, I just can't stop missing Kayla," I said.

"Oh, honey, it'll be okay," said Dad comforting me.

"Why don't you sleep in my bed? You'll feel better," said Kaylee.

"That's what I did with Meredith. That made me feel better," I said.

I did and I felt a bit better after that.

However, I still stayed behind at the apartment while the others left for the funeral and the burial the next day. They knew I wasn't going. An hour and a half later, Dad came by to see if I want to go to the brunch. I decided to do that. That's what I did. It was being held at the plaza.

We didn't go back to the apartment until two hours later. We went back home after that.