Hey there everyone. Ok, so we all know what Akihito is like when he drinks too much, I do, cause I almost died of laughter, well what do you think will happen when you cross Akihito, alcohol and a party full of influential mafia heads. Total comedy. Haha.

Finder does not belong to me.

Enjoy

Comedy hour.

'Asami, it's itchy.'

'Stop touching it, You'll ruin it.'

'But, Asami.'

'Akihito, leave it alone.'

Akihito pulled the bow tie away from his neck. 'I can't help it. It feels weird. And why do I have to wear a suit. I feel like a penguin.'

Asami leaned over and slapped Akihito's hand away from his black bow tie, adjusting it back to how it was. 'This social event requires formal wear attire. And you will wear it; otherwise the only formal attire you will be dressed in will only be your bow tie.' Asami said calmly but Akihito could hear the obvious threat, which Asami would certainly deliver in style. He swallowed hard, blushing even harder and nodded, not wanting his bare behind displayed for all the old perverts to leer at. Asami smirked, knowing he had once again gotten his way, and sat back, pulling his black jacket more securely around him. The lights from outside illuminated his large profile, looking at home inside his limo. Akihito had to admit. The man looked HOT. Intimidating and dark but damn, the lustful bastard knew how to pull off the tux.

'What's this event for anyway. I had a good scope going on.'

'It's just a social gathering of Japan's financial and economic industries. Some very…influential people will be attending.'

Meaning, members of the mob squad will be in attendance. 'I see. So how many ass pinches am I to expect tonight?'

'They will be more worried about the money in front of them to glance at your ass, Akihito.' Asami skewered him with a dark, dangerous look. 'I want you to behave yourself.'

Akihito tried his most innocent face. It worked. Most of the time. 'What? I never do anything. It's everyone else who causes trouble. I'm just an innocent bystander.'

Asami didn't look convinced but he stayed silent, which suited Akihito just fine. He didn't really want to start an argument with Asami. Not now, not in the back of a limo. Cause an argument always ended up with him on the bottom and Asami having his dirty, sweaty way with him. Not that he ever complained much. But t started to get an issue when he couldn't sit for week.

'Can I at least have a drink?' Akihito asked.

'No.'

'But, Asami-'

'The last time you had alcohol, you called me multiple times, making an idiot out of yourself and I had to pick you up and take you home. No.' Asami's tone was final. Akihito knew that he wouldn't budge on this. Asami could become as unmovable as a rock when he wanted things his way.

'Fine.' Akihito huffed and slumped back in his seat.

'We're here Sir.' Souh said from the driver's seat, throwing a look of sympathy Akihito's way. He pulled up to the curb of the Four Seasons, amongst the many other limos and guests. One of the hotel valets was about to open the door before Souh beat the frightened boy to the punch, literally pushing him out the way to get to the door. Asami got out and Akihito followed behind. His lover shared words with his bodyguard for a moment before he touch Akihito lightly on his lower back, subtly grazing his ass as he walked forward. Akihito glanced at him, but Asami just looked the other way, not in the least bit sorry that his hand continued to descend lower. If anything, he had a crafty smirk on his face. Sly bastard.

They entered the main lobby of the Four Seasons where guests stood talking in small private circles. Some sat on the love seats and couches. The men in their expensive suits laughing and smoking cigars, the women hanging off their arms, trying to look like they understand what was being said around them. Asami led Akihito past them, keeping Akihito firmly in front of him, his hand firmly on his lower back. Maybe the big guy took the ass pinching comment to heart. Some of them nodded to Asami in familiarity, raising their glasses of champagne to him. Expensive no doubt. Asami nodded back and led Akihito up the stairs and towards the main floor where more guests mingled, and into the lavishly decorated, and crowded, function hall, all the while still having his hand on Akihito's backside.

Akihito raised an eyebrow. 'When I said that thing about ass pinching, I meant you as well.'

Asami chuckled lightly and leant forward, whispering in Akihito's ear. 'Come now. Can't have my little kitten roaming around amongst all these lions. They would eat you alive.'

Akihito blushed and snorted to hide his embarrassment. 'I can handle myself, thanks.'

'I'm sure you can. Stay away from the alcohol, or I might just let these lions devour you.' Asami pre-warned, leant back and with one last pat of his backside, left Akihito to mingle into the crowd. Akihito watched him being swallowed up by the crowd, happily to be finally free to roam around for a while, or until his babysitter came to collect him. He looked around at all the industrial tycoons and rubbed his hands, smiling. So many juicy stories for him to reveal. 'First off. A drink.'

Akihito could here Asami's serious voice in his head. 'I want you to behave yourself. Stay away from the alcohol or I might just let these lions devour you.' That wasn't a threat. That was a promise. One where he would surely be the main course. Yeah, yeah. He shuddered and touched his bowtie before setting off to the bar. He darted around the elegantly dressed men and women; some not even taking notice of him, others, the older men in particular, looked at him with dirty, heated eyes. Akihito shuddered again. He hadn't felt any advances on his rear end yet but the night was still young.

He stepped up to the bar and flagged down one of the black dressed barmen. The young man carrying a tray of champagne glasses caught his eye, put the tray on the counter and walked over to him, smiling. 'What can I get you sweetheart?'

'Ah…' Akihito didn't know what they served so he just looked on the counter and saw an advertisement for long island ice tea. That looks good. Can't get in trouble with the big boss with one of those. 'Can I have one of these?'

'Sure. Don't worry about paying. Everything tonight is paid for.' The barmen winked and proceeded to make his drink. Akihito blushed and took another look around, noticing the band on stage, to hide his rosy cheeks. The barmen placed the tall glass of brown liquid in front of him, looked him up and down, gave him another wink and went to serve another customer. Taking the cold glass, he took a sip and smiled at how nice it tasted. He took another sip and before he knew it the whole glass was gone.

'Yum.' He turned back towards the bar and when the same barmen saw him standing there, he came over and smiled.

'Back again.'

'Yeah. Can I have another one of these please?'

'Sure thing sweetness. Coming right up.'

…..

Asami nodded to the bodyguard who opened the door and stepped into the room. Three men sat comfortably on the white couches, smoking cigars and enjoying a glass of hard liquor. They turned their heads when they heard him enter.

'Ah, Asami. Nice of you to join us.'

Asami sat down on the other free couch and accepted a glass of scotch presented to him. He turned sharp eyes to look at the shrewd CEO of Japan's leading financial sectors, Haru Nakano. There was no need for civilities amongst these sharks. One show of weakness means you could get torn to shreds. 'I trust everything is in order? I will have your shipment ready within the week.'

'It is. Transaction will be made once the drop off has been made. How does it look with the Chinese? Your brother is still causing you problems?'

'Nothing I can't handle. Fei Long won't be a problem.'

'I hope so. Bad for biz. The Chinese mafia are one of my best customers.'

'He shot you, did he not? Nasty business.' the man said across from him. His eyes that of a viper. Katashi Himura ran a number of underground gambling and prostitution rings. He was one individual who you wanted in your pocket. And was the head of a very powerful Yakuza gang.

Asami glanced over at the man over his glass and took a drink. 'Nothing but a graze, I assure you.'

'I couldn't help but notice that tasty little morsel you came with, Asami.' Katashi said and rubbed his chin. 'He would do very well in one of my…private shows I put together for some of my more higher paying customers.'

Asami face remained blank as he finished the remainder of his drink, placing the glass on his table, more forcefully then he would like. Katashi didn't seem to notice though. 'I'm afraid Takaba Akihito would be a very poor asset to your…business. He has the stamina of a sloth.' If Akihito ever heard him talk about his performance rate like this, sex would be out for the next few months. Asami had attended one of Katashi's 'shows.' They were not for the faint-hearted. Or a quick finisher.

Katashi tapped his mouth, as if in thought. 'That is a shame. If I didn't know any better, I would say you were keeping him for yourself?'

'Maybe you just want a piece for yourself, Himura?' Said the other man in the room. The top dog of the underground drug ring, Yoshi Tsukino.

'Shut up, Tsukino. Keep your drug stained hands out of my business.'

Asami waved off the drink presented to him and crossed his legs. 'I assure you, Takaba is just someone I keep around for entertainment.' Strike two. 'Enough about him. Gentlemen I trust everything is in order for tonight's…. run. No trails. No mistakes. The money will be distributed to the right people.'

'Everything has been arranged. By tonight we'll all have a good cut.'

The glass door opened, the music from outside coming into the room and one of the security guards stepped into the room. He looked quite uncomfortable as he came over to Asami and leaned down. Asami tilted his head so the man could speak in his ear 'Ah, excuse me, Mr. Asami, but there seems to be a problem with the young man you attended with.'

Asami closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had only been gone for twenty minutes. If Akihito is drunk, God have mercy on his soul. 'What has he done?'

'Ah, well you see sir, his on stage, telling jokes. I think he maybe drunk.'

….

Asami, the other occupants of the room followed, made a beeline out of the room and onto the main floor where everyone in the room was glued to the stage, laughing hysterically, where Akihito, drunk, was standing at the microphone, belting out jokes to the crowd. He had to admit, unfeeling as he liked to think himself, some of them were quite funny. He resisted a twitch of the mouth. He moved away from his business partners, hoping to get a better view.

'What did zero say to eight?' Akihito said and giggled. His cheeks a light pink under the lights. 'Nice Belt!'

The crowd roared and clapped their applause. Akihito spotted Asami in the throng of people and waved, smiling goofily. His bowtie had been misplaced sometime during the evening and his jacket was falling off one shoulder. Asami just shook his head. The imp has no idea what awaits him when I get my hands on him.

'What's a snail?' A pause. 'A slug with a crash helmet.' Akihito bowed and put his hand up. 'Wait, wait. I'm not done. One more. A customer in a restaurant calls over a passing waiter, 'Waiter, this soup tastes funny.' 'Funny?' the waiter replies, 'but then why aren't you laughing?'

More laughter. More applause. The crowd loved him. Akihito bowed again and stepped, more like staggered off the stage and eventually made his way to where Asami stood. Asami watching as his inebriated lover got pats on the back. He finally stumbled up Asami, and grabbed his arm, tugging. He looked like a little kid.

'Hey, Sami. Did you see me up there? I should be a comedian. Everyone was laughing.' Akihito slurred. He lightly punched Asami's arm and giggled, hiccupping. 'Can't say the same about you though, Ryuichi. You look ready to kill someone.'

'I specifically said, no alcohol Akihito.' Asami said quietly.

'I didn't know a long Island ice tea had so much liquor in it. I've had like five of them. I think the barman was flirting with me.' Akihito bit his lip and drew circles on his taller lover's jacket. Looking up with puppy, glassy eyes. 'Oops, am I in trouble?'

Asami smirked and leant down so his mouth was just beside his lover's ear. 'Not yet kitten. Just wait until we get into the limo, comedy hour will truly begin.'

The end…Well for now.

How was that? I apologize for the late entry. A lot of things have been happening lately and I haven't had the time to write. Yes, this fic is still going strong; it's just taking me a while to get anything out.