Hello readers! Here's chapter 5! Also, please note: I'm not from the UK or anything, I'm from the US, so I had some problems figuring out what to say on the money, so if it sounds weird or something it's because I know virtually nothing about the UK monetary system. Anyhow, that's the only issue in this chapter, so carry on!

Happy Kwanzaa to any of those who celebrate, and Merry Late Christmas!

Chapter Five: Self-Sufficience

I wrote my way out of hell…
And when my prayers to God were met with indifference,
I picked up a pen and wrote my own deliverance

-Lin-Manuel Miranda, "Hurricane" [Hamilton Soundtrack]

Severus got back to his house after the meeting and went straight to the attic. He took the ladder down from the stairs, and climbed up carefully in fear the flimsy ladder would break. He reached the top, and stepped into the attic. He moved some old boxes and junk out of the way, and got to a far corner. He took out the box he was looking for, and went back downstairs to the kitchen. Severus placed the box on the counter, and got a small knife out to cut the tape on the top. He cut the tape, and put the knife down.

Severus took out the envelopes that were inside and piled them on one chair. He counted as he took them out. One hundred letters. Those were what were left of them, anyway, because his father had burned all the rest. Severus closed the box once he took them all out, and placed it on the floor. He pulled up the other chair, and took the first letter and started re-reading them.

With each letter, Severus's heart dropped a little more. They were painful to re-read. They reminded him of the stories in the Tales of Beetle the Bard, an old fairytale filled book he found in the attic one day. Things that would never, and could never come true. Myths; legends. It was nearly dawn when Severus finished reading them all. Even though there were only one hundred, they were long. Most were two to three pages long.

Except for the goodbye ones. Those were only one page long, and they didn't even fill the entire paper.

Severus sealed the last envelope back up again, and put the letters back into the box.

He had taken them out for one reason.

James Potter.

Severus doubted Potter kept the letters Severus sent. Not hoarded up in an attic in a cardboard box like this. They were already disintegrated or recycled or something like that. Severus almost laughed at having his letters recycled into a beauty magazine and the like. Severus sighed, and put the box on the stairs so he would remember to put it in the attic later. He then took out the notebook he wrote his plans in, and opened to a fresh page.

"James," Lily said as James opened the door for her to come in. "I had a thought yesterday after I left."

"What is it?" James asked, and he shut the door behind her, "Is it about Snape again? Because seriously, Lily, stop worrying he can-"

"He can do what? Stop the Hogwarts Headmaster? Stop Albus Dumbledore? I don't think so."

"I was going to say he could handle it."

"Back to what I said before," Lily said, shooting him a glare, "Snape needs a way out from Voldemort, right? But what if we convince him to stay?"

"What? Lily, you can't be serious."

"You didn't let me finish. We have to convince him to stay away from the Order, at least. We can't let him join! He'll…he'll be heading to his death."

"Why do you care so much all of a sudden?"

"Why don't you?"

James paused when he heard that. He did care, he really did, but…

"We shouldn't rush into something. What if it's a good opportunity for him?"

"But what if it isn't? Does he have another job? What if the Death Eaters just…drop him or something?"

"They can't, not now," James said, "He's got the Mark, Lily. Not all of them have that. He's probably important or useful or something. Can't imagine why, he's the same age as us."

"I don't know. But we have to do something."

"Let's get thinking then."

Severus finally finished his drawn out plan. He would start his own business-he'd start out small, maybe by selling Spinner's End medicines and things like that. If he started out with Muggles, that wouldn't draw attention. He would make potions still, but they'd mostly be harmless things for the muggles in the surrounding area to take for their coughs and colds. He'd gain respect that way. That was how his mother started out, anyway. Well…she didn't make it past that, because of his father, but that didn't matter. Tobias Snape wasn't here to stop anyone anymore.

The townspeople had trusted Severus's mother, because her potions always worked. Many of them had had their fair share of possibly life threatening diseases if left untreated, and no one could afford a proper doctor, so when Eileen had showed up with her 'medicines', the townspeople had never felt better. That went in decline after his mother died.

Severus got to work, trying to figure out how much muggle and wizard money he had. It wasn't much. The muggle money was barely anything, just a few five pound notes he had saved, along with some coins laying around the house. The wizard money was even less, coming in at three galleons, ten sickles, and five knuts. It wasn't anything he could live off of for longer than a few weeks at the most. He needed a job, and fast.

Severus put all of the money into an old mason jar, and put it under the sink. He needed a job. But where? Severus hesitated for a minute. He didn't know where James lived, or he would write and ask where a job opportunity was. Severus didn't particularly feel like going on the job hunt, because that would draw lots of attention. Not that anyone would hire him anyway. Severus glanced at the box on the stairs, and decided to go visit the headquarters where the Order meeting was the night before. If people were there, they could possibly give James's home address. If he spoke to the right people.

Severus returned to the headquarters, and knocked. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one followed him. He found the street to be deserted. When no one answered the door quickly enough, Severus knocked again, hoping for someone to be there. He would look suspicious to neighbors looking through their windows or getting out of their cars. Finally, a woman answered the door. She was young, but looked older than Severus.

"Oh, you're Severus Snape aren't you? I'm Molly Weasley, come in," she said, and opened the door wider so he could enter. Severus entered slowly, and Molly Weasley shut the door after him. "What are you here for? I'm afraid there's not another meeting until tomorrow night, if that's what you were interested in."

"Oh...no, it wasn't," Severus replied. He heard about the Weasleys. They already had five children, all boys. He didn't know much else about them, other that they were pureblood, yet in the same state as he was. They were poor, too. "I was here to ask about James Potter."

"What for?" Molly asked, and went into the kitchen. She gestured for him to sit, and she started making tea for the both of them. Severus wanted to tell her it wasn't necessary, but it had been a while since he had actual tea. He had mostly been drinking old coffee and tap water while living at his house.

"I would like to know his address," Severus said with a hint of caution in his voice. He wasn't sure if she would give it to him, knowing that he was a Death Eater.

"Oh, James lives in Godric's Hallow. Lily Evans visits there often, I've heard." Molly answered, and poured Severus a cup of the tea, "Very sweet girl. A bit sassy, and abrasive when she wants to be, though."

"Right...yes..." Severus said. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't seen Molly at the previous night's meeting. Maybe she wasn't an Order member.

"Was there any reason for asking his address?"

"No...none in particular...I'm not going to go kill him, or anything," Severus added hastily. Molly raised an eyebrow.

"Just because I'm not an Order member doesn't mean my husband won't tell me things," Molly said, and took a sip of her tea, "I do know that you're a Death Eater. However, I don't see a killer in you, Severus Snape. Even though you may look the type, I can tell you're not."

"How can you tell? I mean...I'm one of them," Severus said, and he looked down at his cup, finding it interesting all of a sudden.

"You aren't really, though. Severus, I'm a mother now, I've been one for several years. I know how to read a person. You aren't a killer. I doubt you would ever be, too. Even though others may not see it, you do have a heart in there."

Severus smiled slightly. It wasn't everyday that someone was this nice to him. No one else-other than a certain someone-told him that. Mrs. Weasley was the second person to say he wasn't evil. Well, she said he wasn't a killer. It had the same implications. She knew he wasn't meant to be with the Death Eaters. She knew, at least, that he was trying to be a good person.

"Thank you," Severus said, and he got up. He felt as if the weight that had been pressing on his chest had been lifted, at least for a short time.

"I just gave you tea and an address, Severus, it's nothing."

"No, you did more than that," Severus said, smiling slightly at her. He never smiled at anyone, but he felt that now would be the time to. "Much more than that." He turned and he left the headquarters to go back home and write James Potter a letter.

"Do you think this will work?" Lily asked James, looking at all of the papers they had laid out with intricate plans. Half of the papers had most of the things crossed out, but they finally settled upon one thing.

"It's got to," James confirmed. He knew something like this would work. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew what Severus was like. Severus wouldn't fall for things easily, so this had to be subtle. James got up from the floor and got parchment to write Severus Snape a letter.

Severus threw the tenth parchment ball across the room. How hard could it possibly be to write a letter asking about a job? It shouldn't be as hard as he was making it, he thought. He just couldn't get it together. He slid over another piece of parchment and started writing.

Dear James,

He crossed that out. 'Dear James'? That sounded too sincere, too...something he didn't want to sound like. He started over.

Dear Mr. Potter,

He crossed that out too. It was too formal, too detached.

James,

Perfect.

I know we haven't spoken in weeks except for yesterday, so writing this letter has been-

Crossed out.

James,

I was wondering whether you knew of any job openings anywhere? I know it's not likely for me to be asking you for things after-

Scrapped.

James,

I was wondering if you knew if there were any jobs open in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley? Lily could see if there are any-

Tossed aside. Severus sighed.

James,

I was wondering if you knew about any businesses hiring? I need a job, and quickly.

Severus hesitated at adding the next line.

I hope you're doing well.

-S. Snape

Severus decided to stick with it, and he put it in an envelope. That was when he realized he didn't have an owl.

James threw aside the tenth (or eleventh?) crumpled piece of parchment. How hard could it possibly be to write a simple letter? He had done it many times before. Now, he couldn't find a way to make his quill form the words he wanted to say.

Dear Severus,

No, James thought, That sounds too sincere.

Dear Mr. Snape,

James crossed that out as well. He didn't want to sound too formal. They had a mutual agreement of sorts now, and he didn't want to make it seem like it was detached or cold.

Severus,

Good.

I was wondering if you'd like to come over to my house to discuss things-

Torn to pieces. James restarted the letter on a different parchment.

Severus,

I was wondering if you'd like to come to my house sometime to talk about the Order-

James scrapped that, too. What if the letter was intercepted?

Severus,

I was wondering if you would like to come to my house sometime to talk more about our recent discussion?

James paused before writing the next sentence.

I hope you're doing okay.

-J. Potter

James sighed as he finished. He put the letter in an envelope, put the address, and gave it to his owl to deliver. "Spinner's End, please. To Severus Snape. Don't leave until you get an answer."

Hello readers! I don't normally do post-chapter notes, but I want to know: What do you think of a possible mother-figure Molly Weasley to Severus? And yes, the parts with James and Severus writing the letters were supposed to be alike.