A few hours later, when Merlin woke up, it was just him, Mordred and Arthur. Arthur had sent everyone else away so not to confuse and upset the warlock.

After explaining to Merlin that he had been unconscious for ten days, Arthur asked, "How do you feel, Merlin?"

"Fine," Merlin answered.

"What do remember about the other night?" Mordred asked.

Merlin was silent for a bit as he remembered telling Arthur about the sword and fighting for his own mind. He remembered the pain he suffered. He remember everything from the second the sword lessened its grip. He didn't want to remember.

"Nothing," the warlock lied.

Mordred and Arthur shared a worried glance. They could tell that Merlin was lying, but decided not to say anything about it.

"What about the past year?" Arthur asked.

"I remember how I treated people," Merlin replied.

Arthur shook his head. "That wasn't you. That was the sword."

"I should have done more research before. If I had none of this would have happened," Merlin stated.

"No amount of research could have stopped this," Mordred consoled. "I looked for any kind of record on something happening like this and found nothing."

Merlin smiled a bit, feeling some of the guilt leave him, but not all.

Later that day, Merlin found himself staring down at the courtyard through an open window as he sat on the windowsill. All day people had been coming in and out of his chambers, visiting. All of them said that it was a miracle he was alive. When he asked Morgana about it, she told him what Mordred did.

Merlin knew Mordred better than anyone else did. He knew that there wasn't spell strong enough that could have healed his damaged mind. The warlock wondered how he did it. At first he thought that it was the Cup of Life, but quickly dismissed it because no one knows where the Cup is. Well except for him, anyways.

After racking his brain with further theories he came up with the only possible, but highly unlikely explanation. Merlin had asked Daegal to go get Mordred. Some time later Mordred came. They discussed the theory Merlin thought up. It didn't take long for Mordred to admit to finding the dragon and asking for help.

Now Merlin sat looking out the window, trying to think of anything but the guilt that was eating him up inside. Mordred may have healed him, but that didn't change the fact that he hurt people. Maybe not physically, but he still hurt them. He didn't know how many people, though. He was pretty sure that he didn't want to know.

He tried to tell Arthur that he wanted to publicly apologize, but the king said no, since none of it was him. He had been possessed by the sword that took his will and used it against him.

"Once things return to normal, I'm storing all of this memory into a deep dark corner of my mind," Merlin promised himself.

Outside in the courtyard the warlock, noticed Mordred and Gwaine walking by. They both seemed to be having a deep conversation. Merlin was going to wonder they were talking about, but it took him no more than a second to realize that it they were probably talking about him. Everyone in the castle and the Lower Town were talking about him and his recovery. He didn't know what they were saying about it, and really didn't care. He didn't care what people said about him, he never did. Why should he start now?

Just then, Gaius walked in, interrupting his thought process. Merlin glanced at him and nodded, before looking out the window again.

"Something on your mind, Merlin," Gaius asked, worried for his nephew.

Merlin shook his head as he got up from the windowsill. "Just people watching. What's going on?"

"Just coming see how you are?" Gaius answered.

"As the Court Physician or as my uncle?" Merlin asked as he sat at the table.

"Little bit of both," Gaius replied. "How do you feel?"

"I'm remembering more and more of the past year. Things I don't want to remember," Merlin said.

"You know that it's none of your fault, right?" Gaius asked.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," Merlin stated. "I still don't understand how the sword possessed me."

"I've been doing some research on the spell you used. By binding your will to the sword, you brought it to life, in a sense. My guess is that it knew everything you knew, including some rather dark things you wish to forget. That was its way into your head. Once it took hold of your mind, it attempt to act on every single dark thought, but realized it couldn't, because you wouldn't let it happen," Gaius explained. "If you hadn't fought the sword every step of the way, you might have done worse things."

"A burdened blade that needed a mind to control," Merlin simply said.

A/N: Okay confession time, I was originally going to call this story "The Possessive Pointy Thing".