Chapter 5: Propositions and Hope

Roderich wasn't particularly interested to become intimately acquainted with Spanish Inquisition interrogation techniques, so he prepared himself and told Francis and Antonio what he said. Well, he paraphrased. "In a nutshell, I told him that I was disgusted by his presence, he was below my standards, and I would never love him."

Antonio knew that Roderich had left out a lot of information. He felt himself fall to a quiet place in his mind. Silence roared through his being and it was so peaceful. It was where he retreated to during those dark years when his bosses ordered him to torture and kill innocents. This quiet had saved his sanity as he smiled while his victims begged him for mercy.

Francis noticed the change in his friend and stepped away a little. Francis had done his fair share of atrocities over the centuries, but he had never quite gotten to Antonio's level. It had been centuries since he saw the monster that Antonio kept caged peek out. Pitying the Austrian, he tried to save him. "Roderich, we have never been overly fond of each other, but you really need to tell us exactly what happened. Once Antonio lets himself go, nothing I say or do will be able to stop him until he is satisfied."

"Oh, Francis," Antonio said in a quiet, calm voice that was utterly empty. He sounded like he was talking about the weather. It made Roderich's hair stand on end. "Why did you warn him? It's been so long since I've been able to carry out a decent interrogation. And Roderich won't die as nearly fast as those fragile humans…"

Roderich in that moment knew that the only thing worse than telling these two what happened was not telling them. Austria sighed. "Well, you might as well sit down. This may take a minute. It was about two weeks after Gilbert got here when I noticed how he looked at me when he thought I wasn't looking…"

"What sort of proposition, Gil?"

"Oh, Mattie, don't sound so suspicious." Gilbert still had not lost his smirk and his eyes almost glowed with his thoughts. Matthew had every reason to be nervous and he knew it. Pursing his lips, Mathew said,

"What's the proposition, Gilbert?"

Gilbert pouted but the gleam in his eyes made it more sensual than it should have been. Matthew fought the impulse to do a head slap for noticing his guest's sex appeal. "It's nothing bad, Mattie. No need to call me by my full name."

Faced with the grown frustration with Gilbert's avoidance and his own attraction to the man, Matthew's snarky side decided to peak its head again. Twice in one hour was a record for Mathew in dealing with anyone other than his brother. "What the hell is the proposition, Beilschmidt?"

Gilbert saw the spark of confrontation in Matthew's eyes and voice, pleased to get a reaction. "It's quite simple, really." Gilbert walked towards the other man until he was just outside of that invisible boundary which separated their personal spaces. "You show me your idea of fun while I'm here and I'll show you mine."

Even in his current mood, Matthew couldn't help but flush as mind immediately went to the more erotic connotation of the words. Further irritated by his flush, Matthew narrowed his eyes. "Give me an example."

"Kesesese, you sound so suspicious, Mattie. It's a simple exchange. You show me the joys of hockey, and I'll show you how to have fun in a club. You can show me your favorite places to ski or just around the city and I can teach you about weapons. Stuff like that." Gilbert leaned forward a little, barely invading Matthew's personal space. "Or are you afraid that my idea of an awesome time is too much for you to handle?"

Matthew was never one to back down from a challenge, but he was no simpleton either. He kept his wits about him, even when he was at his most impulsive. The quiet, polite side of Canada's personality was wary of Gilbert's tone, but saw no obvious harm in getting to know him better through different activities. Thus decided, Matthew took a half step closer to Gilbert so he was in his face. "I agree. Although," Matthew said, turning towards the shopping center entrance, "maybe you're the one who should be concerned. I hope your balance is good."

Gilbert was momentarily stunned by Matthew's closeness and the playfulness of his expression. They were literally this close for that split second, not touching when it would have been more natural to do so. Matthew continued to surprise him and he couldn't wait to see what the next surprise was going to be. Following Matthew into the department store, Gilbert said, "We shall see, Mattie. We shall see."

"…I never expected him to disappear all together. I just thought that Ludwig would handle it like he always does: efficiently. I didn't think it would go this far…" Roderich trailed off as he finished his narrative. Francis was now sitting on the chaise lounge across from Roderich, his head in his hands. However, it was the Spaniard that concerned Austria. Antonio had only grown more relaxed as the relayed what happened. By the end of it all, he leaned against the arm of the chaise where Francis sat, posture so lax he was nearly lounging. If it weren't for his eyes, Roderich would have been relieved at the at-ease body language. However, Antonio's green eyes had grown impossibly colder, taking on the mesmerizing quality of a snake's right before it struck.

In the silence that followed, Roderich began to panic. Neither Francis nor Antonio moved or showed any further change in reaction. Antonio just continued staring at Roderich, his gaze turning more considering than anything, yet still cold. In a moment of desperation, Roderich began to ramble. "I snapped, okay? After weeks of cleaning up his messes, dealing with those goddamn looks, listening to his incessant cackling and proclamations of awesomeness, I just-"

Francis' head snapped up, his blue eyes wide with astonishment. Antonio seemed to take that as a sign and began to walk out of the room. "Mon ami, where are you going?

"A la cocina." To the kitchen.

Roderich paled and was startled by Francis' laugh. It sounded…joyous. Of course, this pushed Roderich to the point of fainting as black dots danced around his vision and he reached out to the chair's arm to steady himself. The only thing that kept him in the moment was Francis' voice, "Mon ami, Antonio, that will not be necessary." This earned the Frenchman two looks, one confused but relieved and the other cold as the Russian winter.

Roderich almost asked, "What?" He was cut off by detached Spanish. "¿Por qué?" Why?

"Ohonhon, I will explain in the car. You might as well calm down. No need to start an international incident over this."

Antonio closed his eyes and went still for a moment, a look of intense concentration on his face. When Spain looked up again, his eyes had lost the frightening chill, sweat was beaded at his temple and his face finally wore an expression other than polite interest. He looked outraged. "The fuck, Francis? There is every reason to-"

"I will explain in a moment. I assume, Roderich, that you hired ze car for the entire day, non?" At Austria's nod, Francis continued. "Bon, we shall take our leave then."

Antonio trusted Francis' judgment when it came to matters like this, but he wasn't leaving until something was done. Smiling, Antonio walked back into the room and towards Roderich. "Sure, mi amigo. Just let me…" He picked up a tense Roderich with one hand, brutally kneed his groin then dropped the aristocrat unceremoniously on the floor. "… do that. I'm ready."

Francis cringed as the Austrian groaned and fought the urge to cup himself but shrugged. "I was going to slap him but I suppose you did enough for the both of us."

"Your explanation better be good, Francis…"

France and Spain left Austria's house and slammed the door behind them. While he was still confused, Roderich was mostly relieved to have everything still attached to his body. Later, Austria would wonder just how he escaped being at Antonio's mercy but right now the only thing he could think was, My life, it flashed before my eyes.

Antonio restrained himself until they exited the gate to the Austrian's home then threw Francis a dirty look. "Why is that hijo de puta not writhing in pain and begging for mercy right now? You know very well that what he said to Gilbert was not only unnecessary but-"

"Did you actually listen to what he said, mon ami?"

"Well, I stopped listening after he said that he told Gilbert he wished he died with the dissolution of his kingdom. I was a little preoccupied with fantasies of his blood painting the walls."

"You know, you can be really scary."

Antonio shrugged. "You know what happens when I let myself go like that."

Indeed, Francis did. Suppressing a shiver, France continued, "If you had not been so preoccupied with your violent fantasies, you would have caught the same zing I did… Or not, considering this is you we are talking about."

"Get to the point, Francis."

"Roderich said that he snapped from having to listen to 'incessant cackling and proclamations of awesomeness.'"

"So? That's what Gilbert does all the time."

"But, Antonio, we both know that is not the real Gilbert."

Antonio thought about it for a moment before his eyes widened. "You mean—"

"Oui, mon ami. I thought that Gilbert had been his true self around Austria all this time. But if he never felt the urge to show that side of himself or could keep up his façade for this long…"

Antonio chuckled to himself. He knew from his relationship with Lovino that, when it came to true love, you couldn't help but be yourself around the other person, no matter how much you wished you could put on a mask. Only someone like Ludwig could hold himself back from love for any length of time and even he had fallen within a matter of years. "Only Gilbert could convince himself to hang on to a crush for centuries and call it love. Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Oui. It is not as bad as we thought. There is still hope."

Antonio's smile faded as he realized something. "While this is all well and good for Gilbert's emotional health in the long run, I doubt that he is feeling 'awesome' now."

Francis sighed."We still need to find him. Based on what Roderich said, I think he would have felt like the world ended again."

"So where do we start looking?"

"All I can say is that he is probably not on the continent anymore."

"Well, shit."

Gilbert and Matthew had been shopping for a couple of hours. It would have taken less him time if he was alone, but the presence of the still snarky Canadian had turned the quick run for clothes into something interesting. Matthew provided commentary for when he forced Gilbert to try on clothes before he bought them, proving both honest and inventive. It was as they exited a store full of men's casual wear that Gilbert finally cracked.

"Enough! No more shopping. I'm done, I'm done!"

Matthew looked amusedly at Gilbert. "That was fast. If this is an example of your endurance, then I doubt you'll be able to keep up when we actually start doing stuff."

"Mattie, shopping does not count as an activity. It's necessary, not fun. Usually I just go in, grab the first thing I like, buy it and leave. We've been at this for three hours!"

"I remain unconvinced that you will be able to handle my idea of fun. Do you just want to back out now?"

Gilbert threw his hands up. "Mattie, haven't even started. I'm hungry."

"Nice topic change." Matthew's stomach growled loud enough that Gilbert heard it.

"I don't see you objecting. Where's the food court?"

Mathew rolled his eyes. "The other side of the building."

The pair began walking towards the food court. About halfway there, Gilbert's eyes widened excitedly. Matthew followed his gaze and groaned out loud. "Didn't you say you were tired?"

"Yeah, tired of shopping. This is completely different."

"Food, Gil. Food."

"But after-"

"Yes."

"Fuck, yeah. Just wait, Mattie. It won't take long for me to erase all doubts from your mind and show you just how awesome I am."

"Gil, watch out for that-"

"Fuuuck, where the hell did that one come from? Mattie!"

"Gah! Get it off me!"

"You have to get it off you, just keep shooting!"

Gilbert aimed the gun and repeatedly pulled the trigger, scoring the coveted 'perfect' with practiced ease as the zombies' heads exploded. He was working his way towards a high score, despite being surprised by monsters crawling out of the woodwork in the video game. Mattie, however was clearly a new player.

But, then again, Matthew didn't seem good at any of the games they played after entering the arcade after lunch. Not racing, not ski-ball, not even wack-a-mole. Gilbert won every time, but Matthew didn't complain about it. He just went after each game with an untarnished competitive streak that impressed Gilbert. Canada was in the moment, having fun for all he was worth. It moved something in Gilbert, to see someone so completely focused not on winning but on having fun. When Matthew finally died for the last time in the game, Gilbert holstered the plastic gun, no longer interested in playing since Matthew had to stop.

Matthew looked at Gilbert as his friend's character was quickly slashed by zombies, earning gruesome wounds while Prussia did nothing. Biting his lip, Matthew said, "Gil, you don't have to stop playing just because I suck at this."

Gilbert shrugged. "It's not as much fun if I don't play with you. I have to go to the bathroom, anyway. Do you want me to get something for you to drink on the way back?"

"No, thanks." Gilbert nodded and left, completely unaware of the flush overtaking Matthew's face. Matthew was so unused to people just wanting to spend time with him. Alfred would have finished the game, going after the possible high score as another indication of his 'hero' status. Francis would have scoffed at the idea of even entering such a place. Gilbert was…different.

Matthew grabbed the bucket of tickets they had earned (they had the foresight to put the shopping bags in the car before they started playing) and went to go sit down at one of the tables that was not far from the game he just completely failed at, lost in thought. Gilbert played game after game with him, never teasing about how awful he was, nor embarrassing him by going easy on him out of pity. He looked Matthew in the eye when he asked which game he wanted to play next. And when they accidentally bumped against each other in their zeal for whatever game they were playing at the moment, Matthew felt a thrill through his body. Matthew squeezed his eyes shut thinking about it. God, I must be crazy. I've known the man for 24 hours. No! Not even that-

Matthew's train of thought was cut off as a teenager sat in his lap, unaware that he was there.

Gilbert came back from the bar, soda in hand. He went to the zombie game but couldn't find Matthew. School must have just gotten out, because the arcade was suddenly lazy with kids. A little annoyed, Gilbert continued to search; he looked around the arcade to see if Matthew had found another game for them to play. Frowning, Gilbert turned towards the line of tables along one side of the wall and spotted Matthew worrying his lip, seemingly lost in thought about something. Gilbert's frown increased as he wondered what was bothering him, but then became a scowl as some kid sat down in Matthew's lap. Enraged beyond reason, Gilbert stalked forward.

Matthew on the other hand, was used to such things, and tried to politely inform the teenager that there was someone sitting here. "Um, excuse me, but-"

"Get lost, kid."

Teenage boys have more bravado than sense, so the teenager just looked up at an approaching Gilbert and smirked. It probably didn't help that he had a cute girl with him. "Why should I, old man?"

The girl with him, who also had not noticed Mathew when she sat down, looked at Gilbert and knew that they should leave. His eyes, already frightening enough in color, seemed to glow with animosity. He was tall and moved towards him with a feline grace that spoke of a predator. The girl was just as attracted to the man as she was afraid of him. "Michael, I think we should just-"

"You. Are. Sitting. On. My. Friend." Gilbert squeezed out, angry but not wanting to get arrested for child abuse. The kid, Michael, look behind him and finally noticed Matthew. He blushed as he realized he sat on some strangers lap. He stood up quickly, unintentionally bringing himself closer to Gilbert. Embarrassed, he lashed out.

"Get off me you fucking pervert!"

"You're the one that sat on him you insolent little-!"

"Michael, you sat on him. You should apologize."

"Gil! We should just go, okay?"

"But Mattie, he-"

Matthew was embarrassed and just wanted to leave. He wasn't often noticed when he was alone so he was kind of used to getting sat on. However, he didn't like that his utter lack of presence was displayed for his friend to see. He gave Gilbert a look that silenced the man mid-sentence. It was so desolate, so resigned that the gaze stunned Gilbert. "Please, let's just go. I'll wait by the exit, okay?" Without another word, Mathew looked at the ground and left.

Gilbert was torn for a second, hesitating before following Matthew. He wanted to lash out at the kid, but Matthew just looked so sad. So, Gilbert sneered at the teenager and began to turn away when the bucket of tickets to two had earned caught his eye. Snatching bucket, Gilbert headed over to the prize counter, soda forgotten. He remembered seeing something that could take that look from Matthew's eyes.

Matthew had retreated to the entrance and stood to the side, allowing traffic to flow in and out of the arcade which had grown louder as kids played with each other, clearly lacking any sense of their volume levels. He looked at his watch and saw that it was four. He and Gilbert had played for hours but it hadn't felt that long at all. They were having such a good time until that kid sat on him. Gilbert made it easy to forget just how unnoticeable he was to everyone else. The world made it seem like he didn't exist but Gilbert acted like Mathew was all that he could see. The harsh reminder of his unimportance hurt more than he thought it would.

A tear slipped out of his eye, but he quickly wiped it away. He didn't want Gilbert to see him like this, though their budding friendship may be a lost cause anyway. Matthew closed his eyes for a moment at the realization. Who would want to be friends with someone who was invisible?

Gilbert approached Matthew unnoticed. He saw the Canadian wipe away a tear and something inside him broke. He also noticed that no one even glanced Matthew's way, as if he was just part of the furniture. It made him unspeakably angry, but right now Matthew was his priority, not the rest of the assholes who didn't see him. Their loss, Gilbert thought to himself.

Matthew opened his eyes to polar bear in front of his face. It was small and adorable as glassy eyes looked back at him. Pale hands were wrapped around the belly of the toy and Matthew focused on the man they belonged to.

He looked a little uncomfortable, tipping Matthew off that he would be rubbing the back of his neck if his hands weren't otherwise occupied. The sight of this oh-so-masculine man holding out the bear plushy made Matthew smile despite himself.

"Uh, I'm sorry that I almost caused a scene back there. I hope you don't decide to stop being my friend and kick me out of your house for being an unawesome rage monster or something."

Matthew laughed and hugged the offered bear to his chest. All Gilbert could think in that moment was how adorable Matthew was, screw the bear. "Its okay, Gilbert. I'm sorry that I'm so unnoticeable that people sit on me without noticing."

Gilbert frowned at the nonchalance and acceptance in Matthew's voice. "Well, they should notice you. You're fun and beautiful and just all around awesome. It's a crime that people don't see that, don't see you."

He just said I'm beautiful. Matthew buried his now red face in the back of his new bear. "Thanks, Gil."

"No problem, Mattie. Just tellin' it like it is. You want to go back to your place? Maybe order in some pizza or, you know, have pancakes again? I'm kind of hungry again and I wouldn't mind eating again." Cough *pancakes* cough.

Mathew laughed. "Sounds like a good idea to me."

Francis and Antonio landed in Madrid. They had gone over places Gilbert would likely be on the flight over, but they hadn't really gotten anywhere besides ruling out Antarctica and Russia (which is mostly in Asia, mind you). Both were exhausted and more than ready to retire for the night as they made their way through the airport. Lovino was there waiting for them, his usual cheerful self.

"You bastards better be grateful I took the time out of my day to come and pick you up. Such a fucking hassle."

"Lovi, I'm home! Did you miss me?" Antonio enveloped the Italian in a hug, causing the man to turn red.

"Get off me you overly cheerful bastard. You were only gone for one day. And, for the last fucking time, stop calling me Lovi."

Spain pouted, as per their routine. Then he smiled and poked Romano's cheeks. "You're so cute, Lovi. You look just like a tomato!"

Francis didn't know how the two of them managed to keep the same greeting routine for decades, but it was getting old to watch. "Hello, Romano. Thank you for picking us up."

"Yeah, whatever Frenchie. Let's just get in the car so we can see each other less."

"Wait, Lovi, I have to go use the bathroom."

"Bastard, why didn't you just-" but Antonio was gone, in search of the airport restroom. Francis waited until Spain was out of earshot before he spoke again.

"Romano, we need to talk."

"What the hell would you and I ever need to-"

"Drop the attitude for one second, Romano. It's about Spain. I'm worried about him."

Romano looked at Francis, still frowning but with serious eyes. Despite all of his vocal protests to affection, he loved Antonio more than he knew how to deal with. "What happened?"

"I think that this Gilbert zing is getting to him. I don't know if its guilt or something else, but he is a little on edge."

"Just spit it out, bastard. Why would you think that Antonio was-"

"He reverted, Romano. All it took was a second and he was suddenly very serious about enjoying torturing Roderich. He seems fine now but we cannot fix Gilbert if we ourselves are a mess."

Romano sighed but nodded. "I don't understand why you bastards are even looking for that potato bastard. Scotland said he was fine, so what's the issue?"

Antonio was coming back, so Francis said quickly in a low voice, "Just distract him for a few days, will you?" Then, in a more normal tone, Francis answered Lovino's question with flourish, "You would not understand."

"Bastard, who do you-"

"What wouldn't Lovi understand?"

Lovino just puffed up his cheeks and turned red, so Francis answered, "So many things."

"You French fuck-"

Antonio put his hand on Romano's mouth, earning a bite but effectively shutting him up. "Let's just go, sí?"

Antonio had his hands so full with shuffling Romano to car that he did not notice the look of understanding pass between his partner and one of his best friends. Lovino would keep him distracted, Francis knew as he was driven to his hotel (no matter how close he and Antonio were, no one wants to live with Romano besides Spain and Feliciano). They could resume their search in a few days. If Scotland could be believed and his deductions from Roderich's information could be trusted, Gilbert would survive a little while longer without them.

A/N:

Song for Ch. 5: "Don't Mess With Me" by Temposhark (for Antonio mostly)