Chapter: Closure

Winter was just about to set in, I think. Our routine was set in stone by then, you and me night after night. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, you did too, you don't have to tell me. I know. I wonder what would've happen if… if he hadn't come back. I don't know if I'd be better off. I didn't get any…

closure.

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Midday was always the worst, I hadn't anything to do. Usually, I'd go bother you but… I just didn't feel like it so I wondered about your massive mansion in a good amount of clothing so I wouldn't freeze. It was pretty amusing, how much you fretted over that happening. Was that because you cared or because you think I was just a weak mortal? Oh, Sesshomaru, you confusing man.

"Get," I heard a malice filled man order at the gates, "get now, human."

"Wait, just allow me—"

The world came crashing down upon me then… I knew that voice, I knew it too well…

"Leave."

My mind told my feet to stop but they didn't, I just kept walking towards the gate until I could see him. The monk… the bastard… my husband. He saw me at the same time I saw him, his face went blank… what the hell was he doing there? How the hell did he find me? I am sure I had quite the look on my face as I stomped over to him, raised my hand higher than I ever have before to him then let it crash down upon his cheek. Perhaps that time the mark would never fade. I hoped so.

He took it, he knew he deserved it, it took him a few moments to recover to look back at me—well, if you can call it that. It was more like he turned his face to me but his eyes avoided mine at all coast. Coward.

"What do you want, Miroku?" I asked with an acidic edge. I was too stunned, too stupid, before to scold him like I should have when I first caught him. I wouldn't hold back then, though. "Go to hell."

"Sango…" I hated hearing him say my name. I hated it so much. "I deserve that and so much more… let me—"

"What?" I snapped, "how could you possibly have a justification? Go back to your whore."

He pressed his lips together before he managed to speak to me again, "I am so sorry I hurt you… Sango, I have no excuse for my actions."

"How long?" I hissed, "how long were you two screwing behind my back? How could you? How could she? I don't give a damn that she lost Inuyasha to Naraku, I lost Kohaku, you don't see me going and stealing from her. I can't believe that she called herself my friend why she was screwing you! How could you come back to our home after you fucked her?! How could you call me your wife!? You beast! You two…" I shook my head, "in the forest? What if someone saw? Do you know how humiliating that would be for me? Did you even care!?"

"S-Sango," his brows furrowed as he finally looked to me, "I—"

"Need to leave," Sesshomaru finished, I hadn't even noticed that he had appeared behind me. Suddenly, the situation seemed so much more bearable.

"I," he stuttered back, "I just want to—"

"Leave," Sesshomaru repeated.

"Who are you to intrude—?"

"Who are you to argue with him?" I snickered, "it is his home. If he wants you to leave you should."

"S-Sango," why did you look so surprised that I would take anyone's side but yours?

"Do you remember all those times I called you a lecherous monk?" I inquired, he meekly nodded, "I was wrong. You a far worse than a lecher and don't merit even the word monk being placed anywhere near your name. Go to hell and take your whore with you."

I took a few steps back. I could feel my back against Sesshomaru's abs, as the gates closed on the wide-eyed bastard.

As soon as I could no longer see him my body began to shake far too much. I was getting better… I think. I was moving on… I think. Why did he have to show up? Gods, what a bastard. He couldn't leave bad enough alone? He had to make it worst?

Then Sesshomaru gripped my upper arms to hold me closer, it stopped the shaking, "I… I'm fine."

He didn't say anything as he led me away from the gates and into his spacious room, the warm place that it was. He sat me down on his futon; I was comatose sitting there until the sun started to fade behind the mountains all the way. It took me some time after I snapped out of it to look over to see that Sesshomaru had not left—at least I don't think so—but instead had just stayed and done some work.

"Sesshomaru…"

"Sesshomaru-sama," he corrected, as always, what an ass.

I rolled my eyes and held back a sigh, "Sesshomaru-sama."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

That got him to briefly look up at me from whatever it is a demon lord does but that was only for a second or two before he returned his cold gaze to the scrolls before him. "The monk cheated," he surmised, "I have to admit I wonder what led you to Tsubuya."

I refused to comment, so I simply folded my arms and looked away. Miroku, do you have any idea what your infidelity did to my pride? I was a demon slayer, I was one of the best out there, we are a prideful bunch by nature. I gave that life up for you, you dirty man-whore, and you repay me by… I stop thinking about it. I don't want another false memory of the two of you to pop up.

"Go to sleep."

"Why?" I nearly hissed, I hadn't a reason to be mad at you… I just took it out on you that night. You know that, right, Sesshomaru?

"You look pale."

I might have lied down but that doesn't mean I ever got to sleep that night… I know you didn't either.

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I don't know what made me think it was a good idea… I don't know why I left. It was so stupid. It was so cold; I think I got frost bite on my fingertips by the time I reached the village at the bottom of the hill from where Sesshomaru resided. I hadn't thought things through, I hadn't money to check into an inn… so what was I planning?

Why did I leave?

Was it shame…? Because you figured it out, why would you waste your time on a mortal when you hate them so... when not even a monk would stay faithful to me?

I don't know. I was distraught, I suppose, that's the best answer I can come up with.

"Sango," or maybe I just wanted to see him again… even if my pride told me I didn't.

I bit my bottom lip as I turned slightly to see my first love. We didn't spare anymore words until we got into his inn room and warmed up from the chill. I couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at me. I was disgusted with myself. Were you disgusted with yourself, Miroku?

You better have been.

"I love you," I wanted to vomit, "I… I… I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. it was a mistake, it only happened a few times—"

"A few?" I jeered as I glared over to him; he winced at the heat behind my eyes.

"Three times… I swear, just three… that doesn't make it better. I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Sango, I… I have no excuse." He placed his hands down on the ground then bowed so he forehead met the back of his hands, "I truly am. I beg you to… at least think about giving me another chance. Please, I cannot live without you, Sango. I have been looking everywhere for you. Please, Sango."

What is wrong with me? What is it about him that makes what should be as cold as the climate about us thaw?

"Why…?" I meekly mumbled, "why did you do it then, Miroku?"

"I… she was so beside herself over the lost of Inuyasha. I just wanted to make her feel better… It shouldn't have gone that far, I don't know why I did… I… Sango, I am so sorry. I don't love her," he assured me as he finally raised his head so he could glance at me, "I only love you… I know it is wrong to say that after what I have done but… I swear, I swear, on everything holy to me, on my father's grave," that did catch my attention, "I will never see her again if you allow me back into your life. I swear I will do everything and anything in my power to be a better husband, a better man. I can never be the man you deserve; you deserve so much more than me… but… Sango, I truly love you."

I don't know… maybe it was because it looked like he was about to cry that I moved over to be right beside him. Maybe it was because I took from his story that it was all her fault, that she had seduced him. Maybe it is just because my heart had never fully blamed him. Maybe it's because he was my first love, that we had been through so much together. Whatever the reason, it wasn't a good one. It was a foolish one.

But… who can say they do the logically thing always? Particularly when a fragmented heart is involved.

He was the one to lean forward so our lips would meet. I was the one to part them, though.

We warmed each other's frozen bodies the best way we knew how to that afternoon…

Did I hurt you feelings that day, Sesshomaru-sama?

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I swear I've seen that face somewhere
It's the very face I fell for in the human race.

A/N: sorry for the belated update. It's winter break now so I'll be able to update more often. Thanks for the reviews, thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed.