CHAPTER 5

(Charles)

The other three stared at me in surprise. I hadn't immediately realized that I had called out loud to Erik as opposed to calling out to him in my mind.

"It's Erik! He's not wearing his helmet! I have the chance to make contact with him now!" I explained excitedly. I didn't even allow myself to think that it was a bit odd, the idea that he wasn't wearing his helmet AND had "said" my name. Like HE was the one trying to reach out to me...? At the moment it didn't matter. I was in contact with him and I didn't want to lose another single second. I sought out his mind with my own again and once I found it, I began to communicate to him. "Erik! I've been hoping to get in touch with you somehow. We need to talk...where are your right now? Why don't you co...?"

Then I felt it go up again, the "wall" that separated us. I knew what had happened, the helmet went back on.

"No! NO! Erik!" I pounded my fists onto my wheelchair arm rests in frustration. "Damn him anyway! I was so close!"

As frustrated as I was, the brief contact with him also made me think...why had he done that? There had to have been a reason for it. This thought and my brief encounter with Erik's mind gave me some hope. I looked at each of my "team" members and said in no uncertain terms this time, "Of course you must stay." After all, I might be able to use their help, I thought. "But understand that my first priority is finding a way to reach Erik and doing whatever I can to get him to talk with me. I must find out what he's up to." And of course I also hoped to get back on track with breaking through to where that good part of him lay and bringing it to the surface for once and for all as one of my biggest fears has been that he would cover what I had already unearthed and maybe bury it even further away inside of himself so that it would be lost forever...I couldn`t let that happen...

None of the three argued, I knew they were happy just to be remaining with me at my home. Once again, I was touched by their loyalty.

"I may require your assistance with this." I now admitted to them.

"What can we do to help?" Hank asked.

"Well to be honest with you, I don't know at the moment, aside from helping me think of a way that I can re-connect with Erik. Please share any ideas you have. Maybe if we put our heads together we can come up with something."

But try as we did, we weren't able to come up with anything plausible for the time being. Eventually, I told the boys to go off and do as they pleased, believing that NOT thinking of it so hard might help ideas come to our minds.

"And fellows...something else I want you to start doing again...seeings how we will be staying on here...Alex, Sean...I want you to continue to practice strengthening your mutations. Strengthening, perfecting AND...perhaps most importantly, learning to control them at your own will. I will continue to supervise you in this. Hank, I will need you...want you to assist me in any scientific matters. I want someone with your brains and ingenuity alongside me."

Alex and Sean grinned at each other then turned to me and nodded their agreement, while Hank fairly puffed up with pride and replied. "I would be honoured of course, Charles."

Their reactions made me realize that they had actually enjoyed their initial training...and even fighting an enemy. I could understand how they felt. The thrill of the action...the excitment...the adrenalin. Something I couldn't be apart of anymore. A thought that saddened me. Before I met Erik and Shaw, I never would have thought of myself as being the kind of person who would relish in that kind of "excitement". But I found that I really had. And now, that had been taken away from me. I tried to keep the bitterness of this thought from rising by telling myself that I could at least still be a part of it by continuing to instruct and supervise my current mutant "students". And at least they were happy about it. I had to try and be happy about it too. And hopefully in the near future I really would be. It would take some time, like everything else I had to adjust to. This was after all, my life now.

Alex and Sean were eager to get back to practicing their mutations so that is how we spent the afternoon, each taking their turns with them, while the rest of us assisted in whichever way we could...

That night, even though we never had come up with any ideas of how I could reach Erik, I went to bed feeling much better than the night before. I knew I was in for a much better night's rest...

"I am so sorry, Charles..."

The voice came as a whisper to me sometime in the night, startling me out of sleep. It was so vivid, I thought it was real. As I awoke, I sensed I wasn't alone.

"Erik?" I called out softly, now noticing the silloutte of a body that was sitting on my bed. I also realized that he was holding one of my hands in his own.

With my free hand, I reached over to turn on a table lamp on the nightstand beside my bed. I found I wasn't close enough so I started pulling my body towards it in order to do so, but Erik leaned forward and turned it on for me. As he swtiched it on, he simlutaneously dropped my hand, then stood up and moved away from me and the bed all in a matter of a seconds. I immediately sensed his thoughts.

"No Erik...don't. Please...don't go...please..." I quickly reached my mind out to his to put him at ease. Almost at once he hesitated and then relaxed.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position then slowly started dragging my body towards to headboard so I could sit more comfortably. Before I could think, Erik was there beside me, first grabbing my pillows and placing them behind me against the headboard. Then taking me under my arms, he gently pulled me back, settling me against the pillows. Normally, I would have rejected any help but I knew that Erik did this because he was still feelilng guilty, so I allowed it.

"What are you sorry for, Erik?" I now asked knowing full well why, but wanting to hear it from him.

"You know why..." He gestured to myself and my legs.

"You must also realize by now that I have forgiven you for your actions that day. You are very passionate about where you stand with the humans Erik and I understand that. I can't fault your passion even if I still do not agree with it. You do tend to act and react to situations without thinking things through and seeing that there is another side. But you weren't holding the gun and you didn't purposely aim it at me with malicious intent to harm or kill me."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Charles." He replied gruffly.

"Well that's too bad because you have it regardless." I tried to assure him with a smile.

Erik didn't reply to this but I understood that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I decided to leave it for now.

"How did you get into the house, Erik?" I asked with a puzzled frown.

"It's a big place, Charles." He shrugged as he replied. "It was easy to sneak in while you were all doing your own thing in various rooms. I've been waiting in your room for awhile now."

"Why did you wait until night to come? I told you that you can come whenever you want to. You needn't have snuck in."

"In case you didn't notice Charles, you have company."

"What? The boys?" I replied, surprised. "I wouldn't worry about them."

"After all that has happened, I really don't think it would be a good idea for me to be here with them around...and them knowing I'm here. Beast especially doesn't like me, I don't think."

"It's fine Erik. Really. They know that I have been wanting to contact you. They know that I want to talk with you and that making contact with you is my first priority. They expect that you will end up here at some point. As for Hank, he said to me the other day that they, he, Alex and Sean know how much you mean to me."

Erik looked at me in surprise at these words. "As a good friend." I assured him.

"I still think I should remain hidden from them."

"And I don't." I insisted. "Erik...we are still good friends...aren't we?"

Erik hesitated.

"I still consider us best friends." I told him gently. "And the boys respect me and will respect my friendship with you."

But Erik remained non-commital. "Come...please sit down here with me again." I urged him gently, deciding to let it go for now.

Finally, he responded by settling himself back on the bed where he had been sitting when I awoke. Now that he was there, I found myself at a loss of how to find out what he was up to. I didn't want to be so obvious as to come right out and ask him. This time I was the one who reached out and took his hand in my own.

"I'm really glad you came." I told him honestly. "I...I've missed you being here. I've missed everyone. How it was when we were all living here." I decided to admit to him, hoping to ease him into a conversation that would lead me where I wanted to go. I had almost messed up by saying "How it used to be" but caught myself in time, feeling that those words would make Erik feel bad. He was feeling guilty enough as it was, I knew. I didn't want to make him feel worse.

"Me too.." He replied softly.

"Why don't you move back?" I asked sudden inspiration.

"I can't leave the others Charles. And I really don't think it would be a good idea for us...for Shaw's followers to move in here. I'm their new leader. I can't leave them and I most definitely cannot bring them here...you understand..."

Yes...sadly I did understand. Erik was right of course. Bringing Shaw's followers to my place would definitely not be the best of ideas.

"Speaking of which, I probably should be going now.." Erik now said. "Azazel..."

I was taken aback by his annoucement to leave and already...I hadn't even really had the chance to talk with him like I had hoped to! I knew I couldn't keep him here indefinitely, but I couldn't let him go yet either...at least...not without making plans for him to come back. As much as I didn't want him to leave so soon, perhaps it would be best as it would give me some more time to think of a way to get him to talk to me.

"You will come back, won't you Erik? I feel like we haven't really had very much chance to visit...since...since before that day on the beach. Even your visits to the hospital were rather limited..." Then it hit me. What should be a sure-fire way to get Erik to come back. "You know...I would really enjoy a chess re-match with you."

I saw Erik hesitate at my offer. He loved the game as much as I did. We were perfect opponents for it, both equal in challenging the other.

"I might not be able to refuse that.." He replied, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Good! Consider it a date then and soon." Erik didn't reply, but I knew why. "Erik..." I said gently, "If you are that concerned about meeting up with the boys, I will let them know ahead of time that you will be coming and that I need to speak with you privately. They will leave us alone, I promise. It really is better that they know you are here, trust me. You don't need to have anything to do with them. This is our business, not theirs."

Erik thought about this for a few minutes. I knew he was conflicted but I also knew he was coming around. This made me feel good because it told me that he did want to be here and with me. Finally he nodded his consent and I smiled in my relief.

"Alright then. Can you come back tomorrow?"

Erik immediately raised his eyebrows at me. "The sooner the better, Erik." I stated quickly and firmly.

Erik sighed but I noticed a slight smile came to his lip as he replied, "Fine...tomorrow...tomorrow evening."

"Tomorrow evening." I nodded my approval. "I look forward to it. And plan to be here for awhile." I told him with a smile.

I was surprised when Erik didn't stand up right away and leave. Instead, he lingered on my bed. As we were still holding hands, he entwined his fingers with mine and taking my other hand, I clasped it firmly around both of our hands in an effort to show him how I still felt about him. As he looked at me, I could see in his eyes and his face that his feelings for me mirrored my own.

And after Erik left, even in my sleep and dreams, I was still feeling the softness of his lips on my own where he had gently kissed me before leaving. That kiss told me that everything was going to be fine...