A/N: Last chapter...
Winter: Wait...Qrow, is that man your "Blonde bootycall" you're always going on about?
Tai: "Blonde bootycall"? Really Qrow? Not even "Beautiful blonde bootycall"? I'm almost offended.
Qrow: Tai, shut up, and stop talking to her
Winter: Really Qrow? Being possessive of me now? In front of your boyfriend?
Qrow: You shut up too, Ice Queen.
Tai: Wait...Ice Queen? You're THAT Ice Queen?
Winter: Mostly likely. If he's referring to my little sister then he's going to lose a few important body parts…
Tai: Oh yeah, Qrow talked about you all the time.
Winter: Really? All good things?
Qrow: Yeah, only the best right Tai-
Tai: Qrow called you the biggest bitch on the face of the planet.
Winter: He did mention me!
Qrow: Hey, that's out of context!
Tai: So what did Qrow say about his "Blonde bootycall"?
Winter: He called you the wimpiest piece of shit he's ever met.
Qrow: That one wasn't out of context, but could both of you please stop talking-
Tai: He also mentioned that you had the typical alcohol tolerance of an Atlesian douchebag.
Winter: Qrow mentioned that you had the stupidest semblance on three continents.
Tai: Atlesian asshole?
Winter: Sanctimonious shithead?
Qrow: Oh god, okay, if the two of you would just calm down a little bit, we can talk peacefully, Glynda's still a little peeved about last time-
Tai: Last time?
Winter: Minor altercation with mild damage to Beacon's courtyard.
Tai: Mild? Really?
Winter: Mild for Glynda. That woman has an overpowered semblance, and that's coming from a Schnee...anyway, minor, but Qrow's lucky I didn't skewer him.
Tai: Oh yeah, Qrow did mention "Sub-par swordsmanship abilities"
Winter: This coming from the "only huntsman on Remnant without a real weapon"
Qrow: I am not retracting either statement, now can you two-
Tai: Heh, only one on Remnant that doesn't need one. Why? Wanna see me fight?
Winter: Oh, I'd like to do a hell of a lot more than watch you fight.
Qrow: Wait-are, are you two-
Tai: I'd love to oblige, from what I heard, your form is...exquisite...
Winter: Just my form?
Tai: He also said you had the most beautiful rack in Atlas.
Qrow: TAI!
Winter: Just Atlas?
Tai: Glynda tops in Vale.
Winter: Personal experience?
Tai: Oh you have no idea.
Winter: Oh, I'll bet you do…
Qrow: You are flirting-Wait, roll back a second did you say Glynda-
Tai: Hey, Qrow say anything nice about me?
Winter: He claims you had the tightest ass Beacon's ever seen.
Tai: Really?
Qrow: Stop flirting, Tai, I swear to god if you do this to me again-
Winter: Oh definitely, though personally, I don't really trust Qrow though when it comes to aesthetic appeal.
Tai: He just has some biases that won't get out, he loves me you know?
Winter: Me too, you know, I should probably check his assertions...first hand.
Qrow: Did you just use one of my lines, on my boyfriend-
Tai: Oooh, tempting, but tell you what, how about I insert some biases into you first, to break your concentration of course. Maybe you'll swing towards my point of view.
Winter: You're welcome to try, but why don't we go out first? I happen to be well swayed by good food, then you can try to...convince me.
Tai: Oooh, a little too early for dinner, so coffee then? There's this exquisite place down the street, with the best pastries and we can see how much else Qrow has said about us…
Winter: Perfect.
[Winter and Tai leave]
Qrow: Did they just-what-what? My boyfriend and girlfriend just hooked up with each other...AGAIN. God-fucking-dammit Tai.
Weiss: Well that was traumatizing.
Qrow: Oh, right, you're still here. Don't suppose you know how that just happened.
Weiss: I just watched my sister flirt and run off with a schoolteacher….again. Uggh, at least they didn't tear up the courtyard this time, unlike some people.
Qrow: Oh, heh, hey, I said sorry about that.
Weiss: It's fine, just...that guy won't hurt her, right?
Qrow: I'd trust both of them with my life and my heart...if that means anything.
Weiss: Hmph. I guess it'll have to do.
Qrow: Course, he might knock her up, but he means well.
Weiss: Wait, WHAT?
Qrow: How do you think Ruby and Yang were born?
Weiss: Wait, that's their FATHER? That's Taiyang Xiao Long?
Qrow: Well, duh? I mean, he just charmed the coldest bitch on Remnant in 2 minutes flat, that's a special kind of Xiao Long charm. Didn't you ever wonder why Ruby and Yang were practically Irish twins even though they had two different mothers?
Weiss: Oh...god's above, how old is he?
Qrow: Not as old as you think. He's my age-
Weiss: Wait, you're old enough to be my father?! I thought you were like 30?!
Qrow: I'll take that as a compliment, anyway, we're not super close to Winter's age, but Yang was conceived really early. It's legal in Vacuo.
Weiss: So's bestiality.
Qrow: Why do you think Winter and I go to Vacuo to hook up.
Weiss: What are you talking about you dirty...old...bird...
Qrow: And the penny drops...
Weiss: ...I didn't need to know that today. Fuck you, Qrow.
Qrow: I'd prefer you not. Our age gap isn't legal in Vacuo.
Weiss: Die in a hole.
Qrow: Aww, you really are just like a tiny Winter…
Weiss: Aggggh, why can't I just forget the last 20 minutes of my life!
Qrow: They have that, it's called Tequila.
Weiss: ...I'm just going to go now.
Qrow: Wait-wait-wait...you're legal right?
Weiss: Technically illegal in Vacuo. And if you try anything on me I'll shove Myrtenaster so far up your-
Qrow: I meant legal to drink. Gods, get your mind out the gutter.
Weiss: Oh, yes, why?
Qrow: Well, given that your sister is getting even closer to my brother-in-law, and that I don't have a drinking buddy, I figure I might as well score some brownie points with the side of her family she doesn't despise.
Weiss: I swear, if that's a euphemism-
Qrow: It's not. Besides, I'm a fucking teacher, you're like a student to me...And my nieces staked a claim already so you're also like a niece-in-law. It'd be fucked up.
Weiss: Staked a claim? What does that even-you know what, nevermind, I've never really drunk much before anyway, so I'm not sure I'd be a good 'drinking buddy' anyway, sorry.
Qrow: I don't mind. Come on, I'm the only functioning alcoholic you know on this continent, who better to show you the ropes?
Weiss: …fine.
Qrow: Great, come on, there's a bar right across from that coffee shop you sister went to, we can keep an eye on them. We can trade embarrassing Winter stories every time they get too cozy.
Weiss: Fine...hold on a minute.
Qrow: Why, what's-
[gets punched by Weiss]
Qrow: Ow, gods above, you Schnees know how to punch, that was a kidney, what was that for?
Weiss: That was for that dig on my mother.
Qrow: Heh, thought you wouldn't notice that one.
Weiss: Hmph...you'll have to get me a lot drunker for me to miss a potshot at my mother's alcohol problems.
Qrow: Hey, I know of your mom, she'd agree with what I said, just not on the functioning part.
Weiss: I'm not disagreeing, but someone needs to defend her honor, even if she won't. How would you know my mother anyway?
Qrow: Okay, here's where the Winter stories come out, see, you've never seen this, but when your sister gets sloshed, she gets brutally honest, and extra gossipy. Let me tell you, I have some premium dirt on your family, you wanna hear about your grand-uncle's thing with a Vacuoan maid….
A/N: Welp, that was the last chapter. (Or at least the last one I wrote in advance, if I get a good enough idea I'll add to it, but don't count on it. I mean I do read reviews so if I see a good enough idea there I might write it. So don't hesitate to review or drop a PM to me.) Anyway, hope you all enjoyed it (and I again apologize for having a chapter title that really has little to do with the content of the chapter).