I really don't know how much longer I can take this, how much longer I can hide my scars, and lie. Lie so I don't see pain at the receiving end.
I'm getting worse, nothings making me happy. The dark clouds in my mind have started to rain, except it doesn't wash everything away and create a rainbow, it makes everything muddy. So when I try to wade through my mind, I get stuck, I slip up and I sink, deeper into the darkness.
Force a smile, fake a laugh, take a bite of your lunch and slip it in the bin before anybody sees, make conversation, get the bus, cut, sleep. That seems to be my routine now. I can't live like this, Dan hasn't come to school lately, Chris and PJ have been so held up in each other. So I sit here, in my spare time, in the corner of my room. It won't be like this for too long though, I'll soon be free.
I'm going to the train tracks tomorrow.