Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara!

Title: Everyone Loves a Soccer Player
Summary: Sometimes, my dream really makes life difficult.
Rating: T
Main Character/Pairing: Kuukai, Kuukai/Utau
Genre: Humor/Romance
Warning: Innuendo.
Inspiration: Something my friend said.

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As I walked out of the locker room, I cringed at the sound of the groupies always standing there, waiting. Since I was considered my team's MVP, I was their main target. They waited after every game for me, as if something would change. Nothing would. I loved my wife and, even if I didn't, if she found out I cheated on her, she would kick my ass. She might be a petite diva, but she had a strong right hook.

"Kuukai-kun! Over here, Kuukai-kun!" that annoyingly familiar voice cooed, making me shudder. She was the worst of my fan club, constantly hording me with promises of "the best sex of my life" as she'd once put it. Nothing I said could persuade her otherwise.

"Go home," I shouted in return, stomping towards my car. I really just wanted to go home; it was my night to make dinner and Utau would kill me if I didn't get there in time.

"Oh, Kuukai-kun"—she was suddenly in front of me, pressing her too ample chest into mine—"don't be so cold. I'm sure whatever your wife gives you is nothing compared to what I could give you." She drew one finger down my chest. "I promise." Going on her tiptoes, she was just about to kiss me when a shrill shriek could be heard from behind me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with my husband?!"

Shit.

I turned my head, spotting my wife's long blonde hair, still kept in its trademark pigtails and furious purple eyes. Attached to one of her hands was my young son, Daichi, who snickered at my current situation. "Dad's in trouble now," he said with a mocking gleam in his eye that would do his uncle proud.

"Not yet, but that little bitch holding onto him had better back off before I get really angry." Utau strode towards us, looking ready to commit murder as she got closer to the other woman. "Shouldn't you be getting back home? It seems a little past your curfew."

The woman narrowed her eyes on Utau in a threatening gesture, taking a step back from me. "At least I'm not a burnout."

With a war cry, Utau screamed, "At least I don't need to hit on married men to get my rocks off!" Before she could fly at the woman, I grabbed her around the waist, pulling her off the ground. "Let go, you stupid cheater! I never want to see you again!"

"Shh, you don't mean that," I replied, casually throwing her over my shoulder and taking our son's hand in mine to lead him towards the car. "C'mon, Daichi, you know the drill. Let's get Mommy out of here before she kills someone." He ran ahead of us and got into the backseat of my car, giving me a thumbs up.

"The only 'someone' I'm going to kill is you, you cheating scumbag! I can't believe you let her touch you that way!"

I dropped her into the passenger seat of my car—we'd have to come back for hers later, or maybe just ask Amu and Ikuto to pick it up—and swiftly jumped into the other door so she couldn't escape. I smiled as I started the car, ignoring her pouting. "Utau-koi, don't be so angry with me; you know I only have eyes for you." I grinned at her, taking my eyes off the road for only a second. "I can't help it that everyone woman loves a soccer player."

She gave one short bark of laughter. "Yeah, well, not this one. You're never getting into my bed ever again."

I sighed, not letting her see me smile.

That never lasted long. Because she did love this soccer player.