Before anyone gets on my case about this, This fic is a side project that has no real importance to me when it comes to releases. My other projects take higher priority over this 'fun' piece that I occasionally update. There is no known date as to when or if this guy will ever be updated again! Just want to throw that out there.
Regardless of all that, I hope you guys enjoy this. This little side project is always fun as I can really unwind and not really think about setting or character introduction or the 'fine intricacies that is writing.' And thank goodness for Spell check!
It's Just a Game(an Unfortunate Morning)
A boy who would describe himself as an ordinary highschool boy you could find anywhere made his way to the festival grounds with a peculiar group of girls lagging behind.
Though their faces showed excitement and happiness, Kamisato strangely felt unnerved by the horde of girls behind him. Kamisato opened and closed his right hand as reflex to the uneasiness he felt.
"Salome, why were you so adamant about going to this celebration?"
The raincoat wearing mass murderer happily skipped behind along with the group. "Don't you know Onii-chan? Not only are there booths but you can also stage events throughout the city!"
"Hmmm? So like a treasure hunt or a city-wide hide-and-seek? Still doesn't sound interesting enough to drag us all the way back to Academy City."
"That's because you don't know about the prizes, stupid Onii-chan."
"Prizes?"
Before he could make an inquiry, they reached the entrance where a lowly plain boy with an Ipad in hand who was recovering from his near death experience with an exhibitionist God.
Kamisato carefully approached the boy as he slowly rose to his feet.
"Well that… That went rather well I guess."
Deciding best not to question what happened to the boy, Kamisato asked something else. "Are you okay? This is the right place? The Certain Magical Index Celebration right?" he hoped he didn't stumble upon another dark secret of Academy City.
"Ah! I'm fine! The last guest just showed way too much skin and violence for my taste. Seriously, all kinds of girls are drawn to Kamijou-san these days." Kamisato pretended he didn't hear the name of his recent acquaintance. "But yeah, this is it. You have to register on the list first before I let you in. Name please."
"Kamisato Kakeru. Are you guys expecting trouble?"
The nondescript boy responded with a light chuckle, "Ha! If we were I'm not going to stop them. This is just for attendance purposes. But let someone try and crash this party and the only thing you should be worried about is getting caught in the crossfire."
"Hmmm."
"Aha! Found you. Kamisato Kakeru right? Oh, says here you're registered for an event. Would you like to verify?"
Internally, Kamisato exhaled a sigh of relief. "So that's what you girls are planning."
Ghost girl Maya was the first to reply, "That's right! We rarely ever get together and when we do it's always business. We thought we should put aside our differences for today and do something together like this event!"
While he couldn't deny that they hardly ever converge other than for something serious, something about the whole thing seemed disingenuous. "What's the event?"
Before the gatekeeper could open his mouth, mass murderer Salome spoke up. "A simple game really. Find the item and take it to the drop off point."
Sounds simple enough. Kamisato signed the digital paper confirming his participation.
And ultimately sealing his fate.
"Good! Now i just need you to wear this and we are good to go! All city-wide events are scheduled to start 30 minutes after the opening ceremony. You guys just missed it but you still have time to grab yourself a hiding spot."
"Huh? Hiding spot? As he placed the colored bracelet on his right wrist he noticed the thin lettering on it. "Item?" a dreadful cold crawled up Kamisato's spine.
"Uh, yeah. You're the item dude. Like THE item. Everyone else has to get you."
"...Everyone else…?" The group of girls more commonly known as the Kamisato faction slowly began to close the gap to register for the event.
"Oi, gatekeeper, what does the victor get?" a sense of urgency flooded Kamisato's senses.
"Uhhh. Let's see here. 'A do whatever you want to Kamisato Kakeru ticket. Can go beyond limits of current rating.' Whatever that last part means."
"Don't worry Onii-chan, it's just a game. We're not going to be serious." he could no longer trust his allies. This was worse than when he received that cursed power in his right hand.
"That's right Kamisato-chan. We promise we'll be very gentle." This was worse than when that accursed woman known as Kihara Yuiitsu stole his right hand.
"Whyre running Kamisato-kun? We did this so we can all have fun together." This was even worse than being banished to a different world full of resentful Magic Gods by his own power. So he ran. But not without a destination in mind. His allies were his enemies, he had no other people to turn to but another boy who claimed to be ordinary.
The countdown has started.
-Time until all City-Wide events start. 27:30-
Chessmaster(AKA King of Trolls)
Atop the windowless building, 3 'unique' characters observed the celebration from afar.
"The way you described us as unique was very rude, narrator. If I am to be described as anything, it should be a woman with unmatched beauty whose long blonde hair glistens in the sunlight and every man,woman, and child strive to live long enough to listen to my elegant voice. Or something like that. Don't be cheap with words when introducing such an important character like myself."
"Ah. So you can hear that KkzzxFDSXT?" another strange person spoke who can be simply described as not as annoying as a certain blonde hag.
While ignoring the crazy woman's retort, another strange character spoke, "Aiwass, please refrain from using that language here. No one actually understands you."
Aiwass turned to Aleister, "Oh that? I just bit my tongue, that's all."
In that instant both Laura Stuart and Aleister thought the same thing.
You can make that kind of noise by biting your tongue?
"Ah! You just recognized that I exist! I knew you couldn't ignore me forever!" the woman with unnecessarily long hair boasted of her minuscule victory.
A man can certainly try.
"If you're done arguing with the narrator, shall we start this game?"
Along with these 3 strange characters was a setup you wouldn't normally find atop a skyscraper. 4 leather chairs with wooden armrests and intricate golden embroidery. The four chairs circled around an equally beautiful round wooden table with elegant designs on each leg. And on top of this beautiful table was a single deck of cards.
"Wait! Why are you giving so much detail to simple furniture while we haven't been given anything beyond character interactions!" Again the annoying woman complained.
"Let it go Laura. This is a parody story, remember? Anything that happens here is inconsequential to actual canon. Accept that and move on." Aleister donning his green hospital robe stated casually as he shuffled the deck of cards.
"That's right. I rarely get to enjoy such things as these celebrations." Aiwass the artificial angel added while excitedly seating himself in one of the chairs.
"Now he's just shoehorning your descriptions with no shame! Aleister! Say something! You can't be okay with this amateur narrator!"
"Ah we should get to the important part of this segment shouldn't we. What game are we playing?"
"I've heard GoFish is a good friendly game."
"Go Fish is childish. If we're playing a card game my vote is for Spades."
"Don't ignore me Aleister! Why should I have to play the straight man when that ugly sounding narrator who probably never had a single girlfriend in his entire disembodied life!" the old woman stuck her tongue out like a child.
Ignoring her rude remarks, Aleister remained focused on the task at hand. "GoFish, Spades, or do you have another suggestion?
Being pressured by stares oh her peers she finally said something that progressed the story. "...I actually don't know how to play Spades so I'm throwing my vote to GoFish." After realizing she couldn't defeat the great and almighty Narrator-sama, Laura Stuart internally conceded defeat. "I did no such thing!"
-BREAK-
"Got any twos?"
"GoFish."
"Tch! You've been holding on to those 4 cards for a while now.
"Ah, well I find myself quite fortunate despite this being my first time playing. Though I'm doing much better than my student."
While he claimed the title of greatest magician in the western hemisphere and the founder of Academy City which held technology 20 years ahead of the rest of the world, he was expertly losing this children's card game with no pairs and 10 cards in hand. "Hmnm! It's very frustrating. The amount of permutations available and the number for this scenario to play out is comparable to the surface area of the sun and the tip of a sewing needle!"
"It's actually quite impressive my student. Is this another way of winning the game by not obtaining any pairs?" Though Aiwass inquiry was innocent, it didn't lessen the blow to the near immortal man.
"Instead of comparing the chances to something like surface area, wouldn't it be easier to say your just unlucky?" As they continued to play their simple children's card game, a certain question came to the artificial angels mind. "By the way, for what purpose does that fourth seat serve? Are we expecting someone else?"
Without looking up, Laura responded, "Oh the empty seat? It's for that person of course."
Aleister nodded in agreement, "I'll be surprised if that person shows up."
Of course the ever curious angel questioned, "So… Who is that person?"
"Someone who has great taste in antagonists. You know the kind who pull the strings from behind the veil and who is rarely seen."
"Hmm?"
"Ah yes that person does have good taste when it comes to antagonists, however it's always good to occasionally show the villain do something truly remarkable such as defeating an arc villain with a single attack that shows how out of reach they are compared to the protagonist. Someone who only shows up for 3 volumes for exposition doesn't really qualify for the position of main antagonist."
"Hm?" Aiwass wasn't quite sure they were talking about that person anymore.
"Exposition you say? It's much better than some hermit who throws a fit every time his plans go awry. Panicking to eliminate that error as quickly as possible doesn't sound like a capable antagonist, now does it?"
"Is that what you think, Devil woman Laura Stuart?"
"I'm simply stating some facts, self-proclaimed greatest magician of the Western hemisphere, Aleister Crowley."
As the two were now beyond words and about to bring forth destruction on a city-wide scale, Aiwass nonchalantly pipped in, "The game is over."
"Congratulations on winning your first card game, Aiwass." a hint of sarcasm leaked in Aleister's voice.
"Perhaps we should celebrate. You know how to do that, Artificial angel-san?" Laura did not attempt at all to hide her condescending demeanor.
"Ah. Thank you but I didn't win."
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
They both glanced down to see that another player had indeed won the game.
"Ah! How'd he do that without anyone noticing! And how exactly did he win!" The normally expressionless Aleister showed a face no one thought physically possible.
Aiwass took it all in with a smile on his face. "How interesting. He even left a note."
Laura carefully picked up the folded piece of paper and slowly opened it, treating that single paper like an armed bomb. Inside the note was a message with his signature orange avatar.
"Kamachi here. Since you guys seemed so keen on fighting during this time of celebration, I can feel my mind slipping about some details pertaining to you two. Does Laura Stuart wear a pink practical dress, or was it a black bikini with transparent strings? And Did Aleister always wear a mawashi with those cool black shades while keeping his hair in a top knot? Ah well. I'm not too keen about such details such as that. But if you behave I remember what your attire actually is. Until then, please enjoy the celebration.
…
…
…
"Wait so when you said that person, were you referring to Kazuma Kamachi!"
A cold sweat came over both Aleister Crowley and Laura Stuart.
"Aleister-kun…" a surprisingly timid voice leaked from the Archbishop as she tried to cover herself.
"Yes?" the great magician replied as he adjusted the cool black shades on his face.
"Perhaps you might be right to just sit and enjoy this little break."
"I'm glad we came to an agreement. Would you like some tea?"
Aiwass quizzically looked at the two as he pondered to himself. "Why wasn't my appearance changed?"
-Time until all City-Wide events start. 10:15
A Booth Dedicated to The Ace of Tokiwadai(...Dammit Kuroko…)
A large and very questionable booth within one of the dark alleys in District 7, as if to hide itself from certain eyes. Patricia Birdway stumbled across this certain booth and read the neon logo.
"Misaka Merchandise?" while initially wary of the strange booth, the girl's curiosity won over and carried her through the entrance.
Immediately she regretted the decision. What surrounded her went beyond the realm of admiration to straight obsession. Covering the walls of the booth was pictures, posters, and even paintings of Misaka Mikoto, The Ace of Tokiwadai, the Number 3 Level 5. Well, according to the logos it was Misaka Mikoto. As she looked around, she was surprised by the sheer amount of merchandise solely focused on one middle school girl. Drinks, swimwear, clothing, undergarments, rugs, towels, shower curtains, food, candy, posters, paintings, silverware, plates, gift cards, post cards, stamps, envelopes, magazines, books, light novels, key chains, keys, hats, shoes, computers, keyboards, mouses, mouse pads, monitors, televisions, sneakers, board games, card games, video games, pencils, pens, notebooks, backpacks, suitcases, duffle bags, wallets, purses, rings, necklaces, earrings, watches, glasses, perfumes, lotions, body wash, soaps, figurines and even those cheap bobble heads. All of it was Misaka Mikoto related.
Patricia Birdway didn't know whether to feel disturbed or impressed by the amount of work to set up all of this. However, those in feelings were pushed aside by a strong urge to leave. She began to turn back to the entrance but a twin tail girl appeared right in front of her sole exit.
"Welcome to my humble shop dedicated to our beloved Onee-sama." the middle school girl bowed politely and presented herself with an air of gracefulness. Patricia Birdway remained alert as she did not believe any normal person would call such a shop 'humble'.
"Thanks but I was just about to leave." The younger Birdway sister tried to make a quick exit but Shirai Kuroko wasn't going to let her first customer slip from her grasp.
"Don't be so modest miss! It's obvious you were attracted to this place by Onee-sama's charm!" Shirai pushed Patricia further inside the with the full intent of converting the unsuspecting girl. As they neared the center, a gentle scent came to the blonde's attention.
"Hm? This smell…"
Saleswoman Shirai seized the opportunity. "Ah. What your smelling now is something of my own creation. Misaka's home. A light fragrance that calms the nerves and brings a sense of nostalgia. It's one of our most expensive pieces of merchandise as the necessary components are hard to come by. But since you're our first customer, I'm willing to give you a free sample." Shirai was already laying the groundwork for her trap. Whether Patricia bought anything or not, she would still leave with one of her products. While it may not be as visible as a T-shirt or poster, perfumes were still a good way to advertise. Specifically with women who were keen on noticing such small details. All it takes is one person to ask. And like a virus, word of mouth will spread about Misaka Merchandise. And by proxy, Misaka Mikoto. Shirai Kuroko would slowly convert the world to a place where everyone would know her Onee-sama's name.
All of this would be the result of patient zero, Patricia Birdway.
Who at this point was still attempting to politely escape the homemade madhouse. "While I do appreciate gesture miss…"
"Shirai Kuroko."
"Shirai-san but I really do have have to get going."
"Oh but you haven't seen our best product yet which could potentially change the world!" In an instant, Saleswoman Shirai disappeared right in front of the girl's eyes. Moments later Shirai reappeared with a large pillow in tow.
"This!" Shirai tightly held that large pillow as if letting go would be an atrocity to the entire world. "This is our best model of Onee-sama body pillows! Not only are the fibers laced with our best perfumes, it also has slight lumps to imitate her perfect figure. These models are also special in the case if you squeeze them in certain areas they will recite a voice line directly recorded from the Ace of Tokiwadai. Let me demonstrate!"
In her eagerness, Shirai completely lost her professional saleswoman facade as she tightly squeezed the pillow and letting her face sink deep into certain underdeveloped areas, replacing it with something that could only be described as a 'perverted old man.' ,
"Kuroko, what are you doing?"
"Ahhhh! A-as you can see, our top of the line voice recorders mimic it to the point you might the real Onee-sama is talking directly to you!"
Kuroko. I am talking to you."
Of course having the real Misaka Mikoto here would spell disaster for the entirety of her plan.
Reason #1. Misaka Mikoto did not consent to any of this nor was she aware that her voice, measurements and other things were recorded and being distributed throughout the city.
Reason #2. Misaka Mikoto wasn't one to flaunt her position and power and therefore this store went against her very morals as a person.
Reason #3. Having a body pillow based on her smell and measurements is just plain embarrassing.
So while under any other circumstances, her roommate would be ecstatic, this meeting only preluded to the end of her short career as a saleswoman.
"O-o-onee-sama!" Short lived Shirai went pale and instantly teleported the body pillow away from the electric time bomb. "What a pleasant surprise! Though I was hoping to surprise you with this store.
Misaka retained a calm smile despite the embarrassing display of affection portrayed by her underclassmen, "Ah! I was surprised too! Dad kept talking about this great investment he made for the celebration. He mentioned 3 people but more specifically a girl who 'owed Onee-sama a great debt.' I already have an idea of who one might be. Kuroko. You don't mind telling who your business partners are, do you?"
And so began Misaka's 'interrogation' and pursuit of Kuroko's shady benefactors. And what of Patricia Birdway? She currently found herself outside the strange store, using Misaka's unexpected presence to escape. She closed her eyes and silently prayed that the twin tailed girl may find peace in the afterlife.
-Time until all City-Wide events start.13:14
And Kamijou Touma is(Fortunate?)
Quietly sitting in his dorm room, Kamijou Touma sprawled out on his bed watching T.V. like it was any other day. School was cancelled due the event and he stocked his refrigerator the previous night. So for that High School boy there really was no reason to leave the safety and comfort of his dorm. In fact, Kamijou would be quite content staying in his room for the rest of the celebration. Of course, Kamijou knew about the celebration. His habit wearing roommate would quite often remind him that they were approaching the ten year mark. Yet he remained in his room, away from the cheers, and groups of characters blissfully enjoying such a non-canon event.
Why you may ask?
Because he knew the people directing it.
And that sent a chill down the boy's spine.
"Out of all the people in the world, why those guys?"
Aogami Pierce, Misaka Worst, Lessar, Misaka Will, and the undeniable ringleader, Tsuchimikado Motoharu.
And since that siscon sergeant was involved, eventually Kamijou Touma would get dragged along. And Kamijou was desperately trying to extend that 'eventually for as long as possible.
*Knock Knock!* "Ka-mi-yan! Don't you want to come out and enjoy the festivities with everyone?"
The dreaded knock came, but Kamijou was mentally prepared. "Go away Tsuchimikado! You guys can't force me to participate. Even with all the free food stands Kamijou Touma has firmly decided to stay put!"
"Hyahyahya! I figured as much. But don't you know Kami-yan? You already signed up for an event?" The misfortunate boy could practically see the double-agent's grin.
"Impossible! You have to physically sign up for any events. I haven't left my room since last night and I don't recall signing up for anything!"
The blonde only shook his head in disappointment. "Kami-yan. Just who the hell do you think I am?"
"Huh?"
"Right now in Academy City there are hundreds of thousands of different characters running around right? Some espers, some magicians, some normal and some who can't be placed in either category! Don't you think it would be strange if not a single one of those profound characters didn't have the ability to change their appearance?"
Something clicked in Kamijou's head. He finally stood up and headed toward his door.
"And let's say they changed their appearance to that of a certain boy with black spiky hair?"
"Tsuchimikado…"
"Then that person proceeds to sign up to be a significant player to a major event as that certain boy?"
He threw his front door open and grabbed his 'friend' by the collar of his shirt. "What the hell did you sign me up for Tsuchimikado!?"
"Have you ever played the game treasure hunt?" In a series of swift movements, Tsuchimikado broke out of Kamijou grasp and latched a bracelet to his right wrist. You find as much treasure as you can and place it in your pile. Whoever has the most treasure in the end is the winner simple enough right? But in this rendition, there's only one treasure, hundreds of treasure hunters, and a 16 hour time limit until the victor is determined."
"Stop screwing around! Why would anyone play this? There's way better things to do than chase me all day!"
"The prize, Kami-yan! It's all about the prize! A single 'Do anything you want ticket with Kamijou Touma. May exceed current rating.'"
"Why does that last part sound ominous!" Kamijou was now frantically trying to remove the death bracelet but to no avail.
"How many illusions have you crushed these past ten years, Kami-yan?" Kamijou never really thought about the consequences of his actions. "Was it not you who stopped Fiamma Of The Right and his plan to 'save' the world? Even if he's reformed, don't you think it's strange for him to not be the slightest bit upset that you single-handedly ruined his plan. In fact I would call it normal for him to hold a grudge." How many dreams did he destroy for someone else? "Was it not you who defeated the #1? How many scientist lost their jobs, because you decided to haphazardly swing that right fist of yours? What about the Sisters? Don't you think they might be depressed that their savior hasn't spent much time with them? Or maybe jealous of the Original and her closeness to you? Speaking of Misaka Mikoto, do you really think she's satisfied by her recent victory over you?" Kamijou's fears began to pile and compound as he thought of his recent activities over the past 10 years.
Have I really punched that many people?
Yes. Kamijou Touma. Yes you have.
"The people that are indebted to you, people you've defeated, even those who were indirectly affected by your actions… What do you think will happen if they get a hold of that single ticket?" Of course No one was there to actually harm Kamijou, however the spy knew if he tried to explain that due to his actions, he gained a harem that could literally tip To Aru's world balance, Kamijou would blow it off as a lie. And despite his heart being solely dedicated to his little sister, it still pissed him off. So he did what he does best. Lie and deceive, bend the truth and watch the ensuing chaos.
"One more thing, Kami-yan. All City wide events are about to start here real soon."
"Soon?"
"3..2...1…"
Boom!
That's all that was needed to signify the start of the mad treasure hunt. The explosion occurred inside Kamijou's room which pushed him over the railing of his dorm.
"Wha-?" He began his dangerous headfirst free fall toward the earth. Before he could reach the impending doom, something caught him on the floor below and abruptly stopped his fall.
"Your a lot heavier than you look, Kamijou Touma!" He looked up to see the face of his savior and was surprised by what he saw.
"Kamisato Kakeru!"
Now that the two Jokers have converged, what's going to happen to Academy City during this time of celebration?
...For once I really don't have much to say here. I mean It was fun to write this and I do look forward to jotting down these random ideas. Yeah. All of this is written on the spot. I have no idea where I'm going with this. I get an idea for interaction between 2 or more characters and I write a story based off that scenario. Of course It's a horrible way to write coherent stories. But again I write this story as a break from my primary project. It's easy because I write down whatever pops into my head! So below are a bunch of other stories that may or may not make it. Well see next chapter… Or next year. Whatever. I'm not counting.
As Always I ask that you leave a review or not if you so wish. Free will and all that. Glad you read this though!
But this is Sargent Crash!
Crashing Out!
The Men's Dress Code(Hamazura, Acqua, Knight Leader and Dating Advice?)
Orsola Aquinas and Accelerator are Cooking up a Storm!(Bitter & Sweet)
Silvercross Alpha, Tatemiya Saiji and the Importance of Ships!(A Brief Rundown?)
Meltdowner and Deep Blood Are in A Band?(The Rock Contest!)
Kuroyoru Umidori is Definitely not Interested!(You sure he likes Goth lolita?)
Kazakiri Hyouka is Working Hard at a Cosplay Cafe(A Strange Set of Customers…)
Musujime Awaki Vs Gorilla(In Getoka Land of all places!)
Nunotaba and Aogami's Dating Simulator(CHOOSE YOUR HERO OR HEROINE!)