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Suzanne Collins owns the hunger games.
Katniss
I'm lying in my bed, half asleep; I feel warm breath in my ear. "Wake up sleepy head; it's time to get up." I hear a deep voice say. Upon opening my eyes, I gasp, and see none other than, Peeta, shirtless, in my bed.
"What are you doing in my bed?" I ask shocked, Peeta on his hands and knees hovering above me. I'm then aware that I am also, shirtless and pant less, oh shit, I'm naked.
Kissing my mouth then trailing down to my collar bone, speaking in between each kiss he says. "Oh this isn't… your bed… this is… our bed… my beautiful… wife." His hands are all over my body, kneading my breasts; the warmth from his hands feels soo good. He gives me a mischievous smile then taking my nipple in his mouth. But before I can register how it feels, I am called to wake by Prim. I'm not sure if I'm more relieved or disappointed that it was only a dream. 'Damn you Sae, for planting those dirty thoughts in my mind' I think. I can't watch Peeta working in bakery now in the same way.
Sex dreams are just one of the many new experiences that I had since getting engaged to Peeta last month. Jealousy was totally foreign before, it was why I finally walked in on Peeta and Johanna's conversation and then threw my arms around and kissed him a few weeks ago. I wanted to let her know that Peeta was mine. Seeing as how she'd already taken one fiancé away from me, she was not going to get Peeta too. Yet I felt a little bad about thinking that way about Johanna after hearing her story, and finding out that she and Peeta were close.
A couple of weeks ago he took me out to dinner, it was those 'nice things' that I have to let him do, was also new to me. Peeta took me to his brother and sister-in-law's restaurant. Even in my fancy hand me downs that I got from Madge, I felt out of place with my olive skin and dark hair, being surrounded judgmental blue eyed, blonde merchants. Sensing my discomfort Peeta suggested that eat in the kitchen that way we could visit with Graham, Jemma and their toddler Jack, I like them very much. Jemma was very down to earth and hard working. Graham reminds me very much of Mr. Mellark, only more talkative.
Peeta played with his little nephew, picking Jack up and tossing him in the air, telling him silly stories. Jemma told me that 'Peeta was by far little Jack's favorite uncle and that he was a natural with kids'. Watching Peeta with Jack gave me another new experience, thinking about children, our children, it both excited and frightened me, I quickly pushed the thought away.
Graham told us about Johanna and Gale's toasting. "Peeta's cake was a beautiful as always. Johanna smashed a piece into Gale's face; it's a district 7 thing, I think. You missed Mom's little outburst."
"Oh no, what did she do this time?" Peeta asked rolling his eyes.
"Well she started off by saying that she felt like a 'cotton ball in a coal mine', being surrounded all of the Hawthornes." Jemma volunteered, she obviously was not a big fan of the eldest Mrs. Mellark. "Then she started to rip Johanna a new one, blaming her you two's betrothal, she said 'if you weren't so loose then my family wouldn't be mixing with coal mining trash'. Johanna just laughed, Aunt Rooba was madder that I've ever seen her; I thought that she was going to slap your mom. I was a little disappointed when she didn't."
We all laughed, hearing about the toasting did not upset me like I thought it would.
Then Graham looked at me and said. "Don't worry about Mama Mellark; Jemma is too wealthy, Delly is too cheerful, you're from the wrong end if the district. None of us are good enough for her, not even her own sons."
I truly had a good time, I got to see Peeta's paintings, and they were amazing. When the night was over Peeta and I shared another deep kiss, being held in his arms I felt something inside awaken; a hunger of sorts is all that I can liken it to. He left abruptly, after parting from Peeta I felt frustrated, deprived. Had I been alone in the house I may have been tempted to 'take care of it' myself, which is something that I've never even thought about before.
Yet, the most frightening new experience is the idea that I might actually be falling in love with Peeta. It feels like I'm pretending less and less, I think about Peeta to the point of distraction when I'm away from him. A big part of me scared to death to love him too much, love like that only leads to heartbreak.
"Come on wake up, we'll be late for school, it's at least Friday." Prim says happily, flipping her long blonde braid behind her back, pulling back into reality. "What's the matter, I thought that you were going hunting this morning?"
"I did, but the fence was on, so I came back home and went back to bed." The fence has been on randomly lately trying to discourage people from sneaking out, getting ready for the inspection, it's suppose to happen sometime in January or February. Cray's job is on the line, no one likes him but according most people he is better than most Head Peacekeepers.
"Oh," she said with understanding. "That's the second time this month. What are we going to do? "
"We could always eat Buttercup." I tease Prim. She loves that rotten old yellow tom cat, he hates me, and the feeling is mutual.
"Oh, Katniss." Prim shoves me playfully. "That was so mean."
I think about our situation, I honestly have no clue of how we're going to manage. Hunting exclusively on my own has not been overly successful; we have food but nothing to trade for goods. The fact that's its December does not help either, the weather has been wet and many of the animals are hibernating. I had tried to stock up earlier this fall, but it would not last the whole winter, especially if it was hard.
Mom says that I should tell Peeta about the upcoming inspection, but I don't want to. He'll hear about eventually anyways. I know that he'll ask me not to hunt, not to risk getting caught, and Peeta will insist on helping us out. And if he asks me I don't know if I could deny him, like the whole cookies for kisses deal. I still can't believe that I did that. Lately I've been coming to find that I have very little resistance to him in more ways than one. If he were to push me the way that Gale did I may not have the power to say stop. I hate feeling weak. But I'm pretty sure that Peeta would not do that, he is too much the gentleman, I would certainly have to ask him.
This week wrestling practice started, wrestling is how our school keeps us entertained during winter months since we can't go outside. Peeta is the defending champion, he won easily after Rhyes graduated, and he had been Peeta's only real competition and was bigger. I've been staying after school to watch him, let's just say that maybe that's why I have had a break down in my prudishness. Peeta in his practice clothes is a sight to see, his muscular arms are well defined, his chest is broad and is covered in a small patch of golden hair. Until recently I'd never seen his legs, they're muscular and well shaped too, I've never been one to check out a guy's ass before but I've noticed his, it's nice. I avoid looking at his crouch, I get red faced just thinking about it, the 'breadstick' comment in the back of my mind. Is he really bigger than average?
He mostly helps the coach with the younger boys, since there isn't too many guys his size to compete with. There is one kid bigger than Peeta and that is Casper Boyle, he reminds me of an animal that I saw in a book once, a gorilla, a big, blonde gorilla. He has said some fairly nasty comments about me in the past. Peeta does not care too much for him; they just glare at each other.
My day at school flies by, all of my time with Peeta does now. People have now more or less gotten over the whole seam/merchant romance and have moved on, except for a few of the more bitter merchant girls. Walking past a group of sour faced, merchant girls I heard a remark that I am sure that I was meant to hear, 'you won't get to keep him for long'. Beth Baley, the fifteen year old, horse-faced, tailor's daughter, gave me a dirty look. The rumor going around is that her parents had tried for years to get Mr. Mellark to contract Peeta to their daughter but had been told that there was another deal in the works. I try not to listen to rumors because a month ago I was supposed to be six months pregnant with Peeta's twins and I threatened him to marry me at arrow point.
But, I still find it hard to believe that Peeta hadn't been betrothed before, I what to ask why, but I'm a little afraid of the answer.
I'm going to have to skip watching Peeta today. Delly asked Jemma and I to go with her after school to help her pick out a china pattern, our future mother-in-law insisted that she has "good" dishes. Rhyes marries Delly on New Years Eve, which is fast approaching. Delly is embracing this whole sister thing, I hate to confess that I am too, a little. We had a good time, I had never been the china store before, I liked all of the pretty things but decided that they was too impractical to waste money on, I guess that old Mrs. Mellark will just have one more reason to be upset with me when I get married to her youngest son.
Heading back to the school to meet Peeta, I find the gym empty of everyone but Peeta, he is putting away the wrestling mats.
"Hey there, beautiful!" He calls out to me.
I look around, pretending to search for someone. "I don't know who you're talking to because it can't be me." I tease.
He meets me with a hug and a gentle kiss. "Of course, I'm talking about you. I think that you are the most amazingly beautiful woman that I've ever seen."
"Oh, stop it." I roll my eyes and lightly slap his shoulder.
"Hey, no, hitting me." He says playfully. "Don't make me defend myself."
I push my luck; really what would he do to me? I hit him again, smiling, look in square in the eyes.
"Okay, that's it!" Peeta picks me up throws me over his shoulder like I was nothing, carries me over to the mats, and gently throws me down on them, we play wrestle for a while. Then he catches me in a wrestling hold, pinning him to the ground under him. "Ha ha, I've got you now!"
"Peeta, stop it!" I try to sound annoyed but instead I giggle. It feels good just to play with Peeta, it's like recapturing a part of my lost childhood. Trying to wrestle back, Peeta gives me a little slack and I roll us over and my hands on his chest, my legs straddling his waist. "No, I've got you." I say triumphantly.
"Okay, you win."He smiles. "Now what are you going to do with me?" Peeta asks as he plays with my hair, my braid had come lose during our mock fight. He pulls me close, our noses nearly touching, looking at me with those beautiful, big, deep blue eyes.
"I honestly have no clue." I admit, brushing his hair off his brow. Then something over takes me, a sudden urge to kiss him. So I give into it. Pressing my lips to his, this kiss accelerates much faster than any other we ever shared. We moan into each other's mouths, as our kiss goes deeper than ever before. Peeta wraps his arms around me, my hands tangled in his hair. Suddenly Peeta pulls backs gasping for air. "We'd better stop…," he breathes. "Before we…" He seems to be looking for the right words. Peeta speechless, this is new.
"Before we what?" Asking disappointedly, I lean back to study him then I sense something hard as I scoot further down his waist. I can feel my eyes go big and my face go red. "Oh!...sorry."
"Please, don't be, I'm sorry." He laughs, also red faced. "As I was saying, before we get caught, carried away, or embarrassed. Oh wait, we already did that last one or two." Peeta laughs nervously; I start to giggle too, burying my face in his chest. We just lie there a few moments until Peeta gets 'settled' then we walk home.
As we make our way to the Seam Peeta strikes up a conversation. "Hey dad and I were talking, we're going to need some help when Rhyes gets married, and we were wondering if you would like to work at the bakery part time."
This is exactly what my family and I need, but I don't want charity, even if it is from Peeta. I think I know why he has offered. "You've heard about the inspection, haven't you?"
"Yes," he says seriously. "But that is not the only reason why I'd like you to take the job."
"Why do you want me to take the job?" I ask. "You know that I can't bake."
"I want you to take the job because we need help," He sounds honest; he stops us and turns me to look into his eyes. "I want to spend more time with you. And Dad thought it would be good training for when we're married. You can take inventory, run the front of the store, clean up a little, you wouldn't have to bake, but we could teach you… if you wanted us to."
"No, I'll leave the baking to you." I say, Peeta is looking at me with his big blue eyes, my resolve is melting. "Okay, I'll take the job, on the condition that you do not treat me any differently than you would anyone else."
"I won't make any promises, but I'll try." He says with a happy smile, and then he changes the course of conversation. "Too bad about the inspection, I was hoping that you would take me out to the woods soon. I want to see the famous huntress in action. Maybe we could go out there before the inspectors come."
"You really want to go out there?" I ask seriously.
"Yeah, with you out there to protect me I might come back alive." He smiles.
The thought of Peeta out in the woods, hunting strikes me as odd, but intriguing, I was willing if he was. "Maybe, we could, they won't be here for another few weeks."
A date was made for Sunday.
As I lie in bed trying to get to sleep I am more confused than ever. I think that I might just be truly in love with Peeta, I don't know for sure. I know that I like to spend time with him, I know that he is maybe the best man alive in district 12. Certainly I know that I am attracted to him, this is the thought that I cling to, the way he makes my body react when I am in his arms his lips pressed to mine. Thankfully I am alone in the house, Mom and Prim are delivering a baby, and will be gone for hours.
So I move my hands down to my center, imagining that my hand are his, and do what I have never done before, the whole time thinking of no one and nothing else but Peeta. Finally I am satisfied and drift off to sleep only to dream of him again.