It's a Mom Thing Chapter 6, an o.c. fanfic

See Parts 1 and 4 for Disclaimers

"It's a Mom Thing"

by Lisa O'Brien

CHAPTER SIX

Sunday, October 5

2:55 a.m.

Kirsten had remained in her place on the couch, neither moving, nor speaking, until Ryan fell asleep some time around 9:00. She hated the fact that she couldn't comfort him, but she couldn't blame him for not wanting to be touched, or have anyone near him. After his uncharacteristic display of anger with Diana, she'd realized that trying to get near him would only provoke a similar outburst and make things worse.

The big Samoan, whose name was Micah - not Tiny, or Slim as Kirsten had expected - had stopped by when his shift ended at midnight to check on "little bruddah" and "the sweet lady." He'd also taken the rap for the DVD player because he hadn't been fast enough to stop Ryan when he kicked the tray and sent it across the room. Micah was as surprised "little bruddah" could do that much damage as Dr. Jenkins had been. Kirsten refused his offer to replace the machine. It was a belonging and not important.

When she was alone with Ryan, Kirsten tried to read, but found it impossible to concentrate. She tried to sleep, but her brain was in high gear. Dawn had referred to Ryan as hers. That had clearly meant Dawn thought of her son as a possession, not a person.

Like a puzzle, that piece made the picture start to form. It had bothered Kirsten that Ryan seemed to accept being sent away when she and Sandy first contacted Child Services. His acceptance had seemed too easy, especially given the fact that both Sandy and Seth were against it.

Another section formed. Ryan never tried to change Kirsten's mind about him. It had been a month before Kirsten found out that the fight at Holly's party that she'd blamed on Ryan started because Luke and his friends were picking on Seth. Ryan had been outnumbered and could've walked away, but he'd waded in to rescue Seth.

The canvas that evolved was clear now. Ryan's background made him believe that he wasn't important to anyone. He was just Dawn's son. Or Trey's brother. Or A.J.'s punching bag.

Kirsten's mental shins were black and blue from the kicks she'd given herself over the course of the night. She'd never understood why Ryan accepted things without protest, or complaint. It wasn't that he didn't want to cause trouble. Nothing had ever changed in the world he used to live in.

Ryan never seemed to recognize the effect he had on other people, either because of his appearance, or his personality. It wasn't limited to her family. These days, Marissa hardly talked or smiled unless Ryan was around. Even at his crankiest in the stepdown unit, the nurses and aides obviously adored him. Anna had specifically requested him on her subsequent shifts. Even an orderly who'd seen Ryan at his absolute worst was drawn to him.

Kirsten looked over at the sleeping boy. "Maybe Micah can talk some sense into you, little bruddah. Because if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm doing something wrong."

Ryan moaned and turned onto his back. "Don't." He moaned again and drew his hands up. "Please . . . NO!" His eyes flew open and he sat up. His chest heaved and he dropped his face into his hands.

Kirsten forgot about respecting Ryan's personal space. She was off the couch and at the bed in one stride. She dropped the rail and sat on the bed, facing Ryan. She stroked his hair.

"Don't." Ryan pulled away from her.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," Kirsten whispered. Her eyes burned and she felt a tear scald her cheek. "I thought . . ." She covered her mouth and choked down a sob. "I don't know what to do."

"Please . . . don't cry . . . Kirsten." Ryan's voice was barely above a whisper. "I'm . . . sorry . . . didn't mean -"

"I'm not crying because of what you did, Ryan." Kirsten wiped a tear from Ryan's cheek with her thumb. "I'm crying because I'm worried about you."

"You don't . . . have to."

Kirsten smiled. "That ship has sailed, my friend. I love you, Ryan. You can love me back, or be indifferent, or not love me. That's not gonna change how I feel." She brushed the hair from Ryan's forehead. "I suspect that Sandy and Seth feel the same way, but they're too macho to admit it."

Ryan stared at her, his eyes still blank. He shook his head silently. "I'm . . .." His voice faltered. The blue eyes came back to life, welling with the tears of a grieving boy who had been hurt by the one person who was supposed to love him more than life itself.

Kirsten stood, gently moved Ryan over then stretched out next to him on the bed. She put an arm around Ryan and he turned toward her, resting his head against her shoulder. This time, his sobs were audible. Kirsten put her arms around him and cried with him.

"You're safe now, Ryan. I promise I will NEVER let anyone hurt you. EVER. AGAIN." Kirsten kissed his temple. "That's one of those very, very important promises we talked about. Do you remember?"

Kirsten felt Ryan nod against her shoulder.

"Why . . . did she . . . hurt me?"

"I don't know, baby." Kirsten's voice broke. She rocked him gently, comforting herself as much as she was trying to comfort Ryan. "That doesn't matter right now. She doesn't matter." She kissed his temple. "At this moment, you're the only one in this room who matters."

"I really . . . want to . . . believe . . .." Ryan coughed and his hand went to his side.

"You'd better believe it, Ryan James Atwood. You're a part of my family. In and of itself, that makes you very important."

"How?"

Kirsten laughed. "Because I'm Caleb Nichols' daughter and I say so."

Ryan coughed again. "Okay."

Kirsten stroked Ryan's hair. "And because there's nobody else like you in the world, Ryan. You brought my family together and I'll bet you didn't even know it. You got my son out of his room and away from that Playstation. You gave my husband a chance to pay an old debt forward by helping you the way someone helped him. And you defend me when Sandy and Seth tease me."

"I could . . . teach you . . . to cook."

"And you obviously have the patience of a saint."

"I caused . . . trouble . . .."

"Sweetie, Jimmy was in trouble long before you came along. And Luke and Marissa . . . let's just say Luke's possessiveness is the result of a guilty conscience."

"Yeah . . . I know."

Kirsten frowned. "Oh, that's right."

"Thank you." The voice was so soft, Kirsten almost didn't hear.

"You're welcome, baby." Kirsten kissed the top of his head. "We'll get through this, Ryan. I promise."

"Very . . . important," Ryan mumbled.

"Damn straight." Ryan's eyes were closed. She watched as his breathing evened out, then deepened. Finally understanding Ryan had helped her understand something about herself. Even though she hadn't carried him for nine months, or gotten the joy of watching him grow, she loved Ryan as much as she loved her own son. Without realizing how much she'd longed for it, she'd gotten the second child she and Sandy had never been able to have.

Sandy's do-good notions aside, Dawn Atwood would not be a part of Ryan's life. Kirsten had failed to protect Ryan once. That would never happen again.

10:00 a.m.

Sandy pulled up in front of the apartment building, where Marissa lived with her father. It had been a long night for the four of them. They camped out in the den, but no one slept because they were all waiting for the phone to ring. Kirsten had finally gotten the chance to call early this morning to let them know that Ryan was better. Without a basis for comparison, Sandy wasn't sure whether the news was good or bad.

"Do you want me to go upstairs with you? Maybe I can get him to change his mind and let you come to the hospital," Seth offered.

"That's okay, Seth." Marissa smiled wanly. "Thanks. He's not too pleased about me staying out all night, even if I was at your house with your dad and Rosa." She got out of the car, then leaned back in. "Tell Ryan, I'll try to get over to the hospital tonight."

Seth nodded.

"Call us if you need anything, Marissa." Sandy watched her walk to the doors and disappear inside. He pulled away from the curb.

Seth's gaze remained out the window.

"How're you doing, Seth?"

The boy shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"You know, Ryan didn't want anybody near him last night. Not even your mother. It wasn't you."

"Yeah, thanks, Dad. I was trying to live in Denial. You just ruined it." Seth reached forward and turned on the radio.

Sandy switched the radio off. "De Nile's a river in Egypt." He briefly glanced from the road to his son. "Come on, son, talk to me."

"I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think. Or what to feel." Seth's gaze remained fixed on the scenery passing by the car. "I want it all to be a nightmare, but it's not. It's real. Too real."

"You and me, both." Sandy sighed.

"At least that bitch is locked up."

Sandy opened his mouth to scold Seth. He closed it. The boy wasn't afraid of either of his parents. For which Sandy was grateful. He knew that Kirsten and Seth resented his stand on Dawn's arrest. They didn't understand that his sympathy wasn't for Dawn, it was for Ryan. No matter what the woman did to him, Sandy knew the boy wouldn't be able to handle his mother being arrested. His father and brother were already serving long prison terms.

"Are you gonna tell Ryan? About . . . her?"

"Your mom and I haven't discussed that, yet."

"You need to tell him."

"We'll see how Ryan's doing when we get there," Sandy promised.

"He'll wanna know. God knows why."

"Do you wanna hang out in the cafeteria while I go up and your mom and I talk to him?" Sandy pulled into the parking lot at HOAG. He realized that for the first time since Tuesday, he was dreading this visit with Ryan. He didn't think the kid could take much more. And he didn't know how much more he, Seth and Kirsten could take.

Seth shook his head. "I was there. He probably won't believe me," he said miserably.

"He's your friend, Seth. Of course, he'll believe you."

Sandy found a spot and pulled into it. He reached over and gently cupped the back of Seth's neck. "We'll get through this."

"It's the next one I'm worried about." Seth got out of the car, waiting for his father to get out. He crossed his arms as they walked into the hospital.

Seth hesitated at the door of Ryan's room. Father and son were fighting the same emotional battle. Seth had the added unpleasant memory of the last time he'd been in Ryan's room. He had not only witnessed a mother hurting her own child for the first time in his life, but had then been rejected by his friend.

"Go on down to the cafeteria. I'll come get you." Sandy squeezed the boy's shoulder.

Seth took a deep breath, held it, then let it out. "I've gotta do this."

Sandy nodded and opened the door. Kirsten turned in the chair. She and Ryan were both pale. Too pale.

"Hey, Sandy," Ryan said quietly. "Sorry about your party."

Sandy waved a hand in dismissal. "Family is way more important, Ryan." He squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "How're you doin'?"

Ryan let out a shuddering breath, then waggled his hand.

Kirsten stood, hugged Sandy, then her son. "Ryan just needs to rest."

"So do you," Ryan commented. "And, do you think you're a little overdressed?" He pointed to Kirsten's red dress.

"This old thing?" Kirsten laughed.

Ryan's gaze focused on Seth. "Seth, man, I'm sorry. I freaked out." Another shuddering breath. "I didn't mean . . .."

"Hey, no, no. It's okay, Ryan." Seth put his hands on his chest. "I freaked out, too." He smiled. "We're cool."

"You sure?" Ryan wasn't used to being forgiven.

"Totally." Seth touched his knuckles to Ryan's. "We're 5 x 5, dude." He leaned forward and hugged his friend.

The hint of a smile crept onto Ryan's face and he closed his eyes. "Thanks, Seth," he whispered.

After a minute, Seth straightened and tilted his head toward Ryan. Kirsten frowned, then shook her head. Sandy put a hand on Kirsten's shoulder.

"Seth wants you to tell me something, Kirsten." Ryan frowned. "Is my mom okay? Did something happen?"

"Thanks, Seth." Kirsten sat down on the bed. "You hadn't asked . . . I was hoping you could get a little more rest today."

Ryan's face was blank. "So, now I asked."

"Ryan, your mother was arrested last night." Kirsten put a hand on his shoulder.

"You had her arrested?" Ryan leaned back and blinked up at the ceiling. "I can't believe this."

"Ryan, Mom and Dad had nothing to do with it. The hospital called the police. They came before Mom and Dad even got here." Seth sat next to his mother and put a hand on Ryan's leg. "Please, you've gotta believe me. Mom and Dad didn't do anything."

Ryan's gaze remained fixed on the ceiling for several minutes. When he finally lowered his head, he focused on Sandy. "Get her out. Make 'em drop the charges." His voice broke. "She gets mad when she drinks. Does stupid stuff. She doesn't mean it."

"Can we have a minute?" Sandy nodded his head toward the door. "Kirsten, I brought you some clothes. Why don't you go change?" He squeezed Seth's shoulder, then handed the boy his key ring. "They're in the trunk."

"We'll be right back." Kirsten stood and kissed Ryan's cheek.

Ryan nodded, focusing again on the ceiling of the room.

10:45 a.m.

Sandy waited for Seth and Kirsten to close the door, then sat on the bed. "I know this is hard for you, Ryan. And I don't wanna see your mother in jail because of that." He paused. "But what she did to you -"

"Kirsten and I already talked about this." Ryan leaned back and crossed his arms. He focused on the tiles above his head. "I know what she did was wrong. I should hate her, but I can't. She's always gonna be my mom. I can't leave her in some cell like my dad and Trey."

"What if your mother could get some help?"

Ryan lifted his head. "What kind of help?" He tilted his head and his blue eyes narrowed. "Like AA? NA?"

"Or counseling. This could be her rock bottom."

Ryan frowned. "She's hit that about 5 times since I can remember." He shrugged. "It doesn't work for her."

"This doesn't work for you, man."

Ryan sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Look, I gotta be honest with you. If it weren't for your feelings, I'd be happy to see your mother under the jail, with the key twenty miles down encased in cement."

"If I asked you, would you represent her?"

"No. Ryan, you're part of my family, now. That's a huge, huge conflict of interest." Sandy shook his head. "I couldn't put aside my personal bias."

"But you could find somebody?"

Sandy nodded. "As long as getting your mother some help is part of the deal."

"Thanks."

"C'mere, kid." Sandy carefully pulled Ryan into a hug. "Whatever happens, Ryan, you're stuck with us. You know that, don't you?"

"Pretty much," Ryan muttered. "It could be worse."

Sandy kissed the top of Ryan's head. "That weirds Seth out, but too bad."

Ryan leaned back. "Weirds me out, too." He grinned.

"I do the whole dad thing flyin' by the seat of my pants." Sandy winked. "I didn't have an example."

"Yeah, I remember you tellin' me that." A half-smile lit the boy's pale face. "You do pretty well."

The door opened and Kathy came in, followed by Seth and Kirsten.

"Morning, Ryan. Ready for your walk?"

Sandy stood.

"Ah, yeah. Could we just stick with 20 feet today? I'm kinda tired."

"If you don't feel up to it now, I can come back later."

Slowly, Ryan sat up and threw the sheet and blanket off. "Let's get it over with." Kirsten handed him a robe, then helped him put it over his right arm when he struggled with it. He turned and put his legs over the side of the bed.

"All right, slow and easy." Kathy put an arm around Ryan to help him down from the bed.

"Wait . . .." Ryan swayed, then his eyes rolled back and his knees buckled.

"Sandy!" Kirsten reached out from the opposite side of the bed.

Sandy leaned forward and caught Ryan. Together, he and Kathy lifted Ryan onto the mattress. Kathy hit the call button, then lowered the head of the bed.

"Yes?"

"Can you send Jewel in? Her patient just went out on me." Kathy turned to Sandy. "Who's his treating physician?"

"Jenkins."

"You might want to page Jenkins while you're at it."

A tall, auburn haired nurse rushed into the room. Ryan stirred as she lifted his wrist. "It's okay, Ryan. I'm just taking your pulse."

"'M okay." Ryan blinked. "Little dizzy."

Kirsten put an arm around Seth and kissed his temple.

Jewel wrapped a BP cuff around Ryan's left arm. "Have you been feeling dizzy all morning, Ryan?"

"'M really tired. Tha's all."

Jewel inflated the cuff, placed the stethoscope on the inside of Ryan's elbow, then slowly released the air. "BP's okay." She removed the cuff, noted the pulse and BP readings on the chart and took a thermometer from her pocket. "I'm gonna take your temp now, Ryan."

Ryan jumped when the thermometer touched his ear. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Temp's normal." Jewel put the back of her hand against Ryan's forehead. "You're a little cool, actually." She patted his shoulder. "Dr. Jenkins is on her way up."

"Can I sit up, now?" Ryan's voice sounded stronger and the words were clear.

"Once I finish my examination, Ryan," Dr. Jenkins answered as she entered the room. "It's good to see you this morning, young man." She smiled as she reached the side of the bed.

"Yeah, ah, . . . sorry?" Ryan was too pale to blush.

"It's quite all right. We all have our bad days." Dr. Jenkins winked. "Although, I can't say the same for your Dad. Or your DVD player."

"Oh, yeah, Seth, about the DVD player." Sandy glared at his son. The one with dark hair, who'd brought a DVD player to the hospital.

"Mom?"

"Sandy, not now."

"Oh, dear, I seem to have started a family row." The doctor winked at Ryan again.

"Ah, yeah, and I'm gonna end up in the middle of it."

Dr. Jenkins chuckled. "Oh, sorry. Now, what happened here?"

"I stood up, got dizzy, went boom. Or almost went boom." Ryan managed a weak grin. "I kinda wasn't around after the lights went out."

Dr. Jenkins turned to Jewel. "Vitals?"

"Respirations normal, heart rate 110, BP 100/80. Temp's normal. His skin's a little cool to the touch, no diaphoresis."

Dr. Jenkins returned her gaze to Ryan. "Any pain, Ryan?"

"Not if I stay still. And it's not that bad." Ryan sighed. "I'm just tired."

"Has this happened before when you were tired?"

"Well, no." Ryan frowned.

"All right, Ryan, I'm going to check your abdomen. Would you like me to have your family step out?"

Ryan shook his head. "No, it's okay."

Jewel pulled the covers to Ryan's waist as Dr. Jenkins lifted the gown to examine the incision.

"Your incision looks good. I'm going to check your abdomen now. If there's any pain, tell me right away. All right?"

Ryan nodded. He hissed as Dr. Jenkins reached the area above his incision. "Owwww. That hurt."

Dr. Jenkins smoothed Ryan's gown, then pulled the sheet and blanket up. "Well, Ryan, everything appears to be fine. Although I'm a bit concerned that you still have pain at your incision. And I'm a bit concerned about your heart rate."

"Doctor, we were talking about Ryan's mother right before this happened," Sandy offered.

"That could explain the heart rate." Dr. Jenkins smiled down at Ryan. "Would you like something to help you sleep, Ryan?"

"No, thanks."

Dr. Jenkins slowly raised the head of the bed. "Any dizziness?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Jewel will be checking on you to monitor your blood pressure and heart rate. And if you have any pain, especially when you're still, let the nurses know. All right?"

Ryan nodded. "I will."

Dr. Jenkins smiled and stroked Ryan's hair. "Try to get some rest, Ryan. I'll leave an order for something to help you sleep in case you change your mind."

"Thanks."

"I'll be making rounds later this afternoon," Dr. Jenkins promised, patting Ryan's shoulder.

"Thank you, Dr. Jenkins." Kirsten called as the surgeon left the room.

Ryan moved over on the bed, making room for Kirsten. He leaned his head against her shoulder.

"Ryan, never do that again," Kirsten ordered.

"Not if I can help it," Ryan promised. He took Kirsten's hand.

"Are we okay?" Kirsten squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. Sandy and I talked. We worked it out." Ryan sighed and lifted his head. "It's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done. All of you."

Kirsten put her arm around his shoulders and squeezed gently. "We know."

"You're gettin' her mushy, Ryan. You don't wanna do that."

"I've got news for you Seth. Your whole family's mushy." Ryan grinned. "It just takes a little gettin' used to."

"It's just Mom."

"Sandy, the DVD player's my fault. I broke it. I'll replace it." The apology in the blue eyes was hard to resist. "Seth was just looking out for me when he brought it here."

Sandy smiled at Seth. "You get a reprieve, son." Then he smiled at Ryan. "And don't worry about the DVD player. It's not important."

Ryan rested his head on Kirsten's shoulder again. "You should probably go home and get some rest, too."

Kirsten stroked Ryan's hair, frowning when she touched his forehead. "Your skin is cool. Are you sure you're feeling okay, Ryan?"

"Didn't you hear my answers to Dr. Jenkins?" Ryan lifted his head. "And it's cold in here."

Kirsten kissed the top of Ryan's head. "All right."

"Is it okay if Seth hangs out here?" Ryan's hopeful gaze fell on Seth. "If you want . . .."

Seth nodded. "We've got stuff to talk about. Without the parental units."

"Sure. Seth, let Ryan rest, okay?" Kirsten stood.

"Don't worry about that. Seth'll start on his latest Summer story and I'll drop right off." The line was delivered with a perfectly straight face. Ryan would make one hell of a poker player.

"Good burn, Ryan," Sandy said appreciatively. He leaned over and kissed the top of Ryan's head, then cupped his neck. "Take it easy, kid."

Ryan nodded.

Kirsten squeezed Ryan's hand, then walked around the bed and hugged Seth. "It's not the greatest, but you should probably try to grab a nap on the couch."

Seth hugged his mother and kissed her cheek. "Not a bad idea."

Sandy followed Kirsten to the door, turning for one final look at the two boys. Seth had settled on the couch and Ryan had scooted down in the bed, pulling the covers up to his shoulders.

"Did I tell you Summer ate lunch with me on Thursday? Well, not really with me, with me. She was at the table behind me. But she sat in the chair directly behind me."

Ryan snored.

Sandy put an arm around Kirsten as they stepped into the hall. "Dr. Jenkins got one thing right."

"What's that?"

"Ryan's a lucky kid. She just doesn't realize that he's not the only one."

Kirsten squeezed his waist.

"What'd you say to Ryan last night?"

Kirsten shrugged. "Just some things he's never heard." She paused. "What did you say to him about his mother?"

"That I'd help her get the help she needs."

"Sandy, she lied to us that first time. She didn't want to quit drinking enough to make things work with her own son. She didn't care about anything this time except that Ryan belonged to her. He's not even her child to her. He's a possession." Tears welled in Kirsten's eyes. "You didn't see Ryan last night, Sandy. The Ryan we know was gone. If he hadn't . . .." She ran a hand through her hair. "For a while there, I was afraid he'd end up on a psychiatric ward somewhere. If we let his mother near him again, I'm afraid that's exactly what will happen. And I won't allow it." Kirsten pulled away from him and walked ahead.

Sandy caught up to her and took her hand, stopping her. He put his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place. "I feel the same way about her as you and Seth. She's screwed with her own son's head and hurt him since the day he was born, probably." He shook his head. "Ryan knows that, too. But we can't replace her, babe. And no matter how hard we try, there'll always be a hole we can't fill."

"I know. I saw it." Kirsten hugged Sandy.

Sandy wrapped his arms around her. "Ryan's back. He has to learn to see himself the way we see him." He kissed her temple. "It's just gonna take some time."

Kirsten nodded against his chest, then pulled back. "I don't want to go to the house, Sandy. It's too empty without the boys."

"How about that little place by the beach? It's not far from the hospital."

"Good plan." Kirsten kissed her husband.

Sandy put an arm around Kirsten's shoulders and they walked to the elevator. "Did I tell you Rosa's theory?"

Kirsten laughed. "About what?"

"Ryan's a foundling left on the wrong doorstep."

"Works for me," Kirsten muttered.

3:30 p.m.

Seth and Ryan spent the morning and afternoon napping and hanging out in Ryan's room. If you ignored the smell of pine, it was almost like hanging out in the poolhouse. Seth was beating his best score ever on Pro Skater II, while Ryan finished the final installment in the Legion series.

Seth put the Gameboy down, leaned back in the chair and folded his hands on his stomach. He tried to watch Ryan, who was on the last page, without appearing to watch him.

After a minute, Ryan closed the comic. "Awesome, Seth. Thanks again for letting me read it first." He handed the pages to Seth.

"At least something about this doesn't suck, right?" Seth took the book, staring at the cover.

"Deep thoughts. Wanna share?"

Seth took a deep breath. "Sorry I did such a crappy job . . . last night."

"Hey, you didn't leave when I told you to."

A lump formed in Seth's throat. Maybe he and Ryan weren't okay after all.

"That's not what I meant." Ryan sighed. "At least you tried . . . you know?" He leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

"Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but . . .." Seth shrugged. "Havin' you around is kinda like having a brother." He smiled. "No, it's actually having a brother. I know we're not related and it's, like, totally geeky. And you already have one brother. What do you need with two, right? Although, sorry to say he's not really a winner, but, hey, blood is thicker, right?" He threw his hands up. "But I said it. It's out there."

Ryan lowered his head, then smiled crookedly. "You're a better brother than Trey, Seth." He paused. "Way better, 'cause Trey never tried to protect me from . . . well, from anything."

Seth grinned. He was elated to no longer be an only child. And, even without a basis for comparison, he was pretty sure that Ryan was the cream of the brother crop. "Hey, Ryan, you're a way better brother than Trey. 'Cause you're always trying to protect me." Being able to say it and not just think it, or say it to himself during "Me Time" was awesome.

"Even when you don't listen." Ryan grinned, then turned serious. "Oh, and we're even now. For the night-before-cotillion party at Holly's."

Seth frowned and shook his head. "Even?"

"Remember? You said you'd owe me if I went to the party, even though I didn't want to go. You promised someday you'd do something really awesome to pay me back?"

"But, Ryan, I didn't do anything." Seth's voice broke and he shook his head. "Last night doesn't count."

"You tried, Seth. That was pretty awesome." Ryan shivered. "It's more than Trey ever did. Sometimes he'd make her mad at me, so she'd forget how mad she was at him."

"The grass is greener," Seth muttered, drawing a frown from Ryan. "One of my dad's clichés. Never mind."

"And then there's Legion. Now I really owe you." Ryan frowned. "I probably can't swing date-with-Summer awesome, but I think I can manage to come up with something."

Seth shook his head. "Come home." He nodded. "That'll be awesome enough. 'Cause I'm havin' to kick Dad's butt at Playstation and you know that's no fun."

Ryan grinned. "You just have to have the patience of a saint."

A soft knock sounded on the door and a giant entered the room as Seth turned. The lanky boy swallowed at the sight. He didn't want to be in the big guy's way, so he stood and backed toward the bed. "Can we help you? Sir." He was dressed like an orderly, but you could never tell sometimes.

"Hey, little bruddah. Micah. Remember me?"

"Say you do, even if you don't," Seth whispered from the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah. Hey, Micah." Ryan patted Seth's shoulder. "We're okay, Seth."

The giant smiled and Seth had to blink. "You got your head back on straight, hey? And you been treatin' that sweet lady good?"

Seth frowned at Ryan.

"Your mom . . . our . . . mom." Ryan blinked, then regarded Micah from the corners of his eyes. "Yeah. She treats me better, though," he said quietly.

Micah reached a beefy hand toward Seth, resting it on his shoulder. "Relax." Another blinding smile.

Seth swallowed twice. "I'm Seth . . . Seth Cohen." He held out a hand, which promptly disappeared in Micah's meaty fist. He wondered if he'd get his hand back and was surprised when he did.

"I just wanna check on little bruddah, here." Micah regarded Ryan. "You hangin' tight and things workin' out, just like Micah told you, hey?"

Ryan smiled. "Yep." He frowned. "Hey, I'm sorry . . . and thanks."

A hand the size of a dinner plate landed on Ryan's shoulder. "You okay, little bruddah. You just gotta learn to roll beddah, hey?" The big man smiled at Seth. "You okay, too, bruddah."

The hand on Seth's shoulder was surprisingly gentle. He nodded. "Yeah, great. And, hey, thanks for lookin' out for little bruddah, here." He grinned at Ryan.

"You keep hangin' tight, little bruddah. You need Micah, I be dere, hey?"

"Thanks, man." Ryan nodded.

After one last blinding smile, the giant lumbered from the room. Seth blew a breath out and collapsed into the chair.

"Wow, Micah could single handedly obliterate those water polo jerks." Seth grinned. "Think he'd . . . like . . .?"

Ryan shook his head. "He probably wouldn't think that was cool." He shrugged. "I . . . ah . . . got kinda outta hand last night . . . after . . .."

"Oh." Seth held a hand up. "We don't -"

"No, it's cool. You're dyin' for the 411."

Seth nodded. "Well, yeah, but I can interrogate Mom."

Ryan smiled. It was an I-know-something-you-don't smile. He'd be a tough nut to crack, but Seth had his ways.

"Kirsten . . .." Ryan frowned. "I don't think . . . Mom's not a really great word for me. Dad's not really . . .."

Seth held a hand up and nodded. "The sentiment's there, Ryan." He shrugged. "We just hang tight, like Micah said and things'll work out just like Micah said."

Ryan leaned back into the pillow and pulled the blanket up to his chin. "The meat locker at the restaurant is warmer than this place," he muttered.

"Okay, Ryan, back on track. Unless . . .."

Ryan took a deep breath. "One of the nurses called Micah 'cause I . . . freaked . . . when I woke up. Everybody finally left, but Micah." The shrug was barely perceptible from beneath the blanket. "He sat down on the couch and started talking." He shook his head. "I don't really remember what he said." He sighed. "Guess I'm lucky. He coulda done some damage if talkin' hadn't worked."

"Not to little bruddah." Seth grinned.

"You repeat that at school and you know I'll have to kick your ass."

Seth waggled his eyebrows. "Don't worry. But I'm gonna enjoy it, little bruddah."

"Dude, I'm three weeks older than you are. I'm the big bruddah. You're the little bruddah." Ryan laughed, then gasped.

Seth stood and put a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Want me to call the nurse?"

Ryan took several breaths, then shook his head. He absently rubbed his right side. "My guts just haven't recovered, yet."

Seth squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "No more comedy routines. Got it." Ryan looked worse today than he had when he was in ICU. Then again, last night was worse than his appendix. "Mom'll ground me 'til I'm 21 if she gets back and it looks like I'm keepin' you awake." He grinned. "Did I tell you about History class on Tuesday?"

Ryan reached a hand from beneath the blanket and patted Seth's hand which was still resting on his shoulder. "Thanks, Seth."

Seth patted Ryan's shoulder. "You comfortable? Want me to fluff your pillow? Find you a mint?"

Ryan smiled, settling down into the bed. "I'm good. So, what did Summer do in History class on Tuesday?"

Seth pulled the chair closer to the bed. "We were supposed to start Chapter 3, you know, pilgrims landing on Plymouth Rock and the first Thanksgiving. Summer must've had to get her nails done, or her legs waxed . . .." Summer's shapely, tanned legs were an irresistible image.

"Focus, Seth."

Seth blinked, banishing the pleasant image. "Summer didn't read Chapter 3, so before class, she asked me . . . well, no, she demanded that I fill her in on the homework."

"I'm stunned." Ryan covered his mouth, yawned and quickly dropped his hand beneath the blanket. He closed his eyes, turning his head toward Seth. "You tell her what Chapter 3 was really about? Or were the pilgrims a sailor, his first mate, a millionaire, etc.?" A wan grin formed. "I got Trey with that one once." He shivered. "He was so easy," he muttered, then sighed. "Beat the crap outta me."

The last statement made Seth shiver. Hiding it was easy, since Ryan never opened his eyes. "But for the rage blackouts, Ryan. But for the rage blackouts," he said finally. "Hey, if Summer ever asks you for the homework, you go for it, 'kay?" He smiled, even though Ryan couldn't see it. "I only had, like, five minutes, but I explained the whole gettin' kicked out of England, trying voyage, landing on Plymouth rock, tough winter. Summer just said 'Ewww' a lot, so I think she got it."

Ryan's chest rose and fell and he didn't respond to the last statement. Seth leaned forward and rested his hand on Ryan's shin. He gently patted it. "That's about as mushy as I'll get, little bruddah," he muttered.

Seth leaned back, stretched and surveyed the room. The couch was too far away. The chair was too narrow. He yawned, then leaned forward and folded his arms on the bed. He put his head down, just like he'd done in grammar school. He fit just right between Ryan's leg and the end of the bed. He closed his eyes and thought about Summer's legs again. Maybe that would keep the trolls away.