Dan tried his best to hold back the yawn threatening to spill from his lips he leaned forward on the grump couch careful not to disturb the warm cozy blanket cocoon he'd built up around himself.
He listened to Arin speak into the mic the man sounding far too wide awake at this hour of the night. "I think it's time for Next Time on Game Grumps."
Dan spoke into the mic hoping he sounded more peppy and wide awake than he currently felt. "Yep it is, until next time lovelies."
He sat back easily sinking into the comfy couch cushions laughter spilling from his throat as Arin once again "accidentally" killed the little pixel character on the screen. Dan continued to giggle as he watched the screen in front of them a high pitched curse slipping from Arin's lips. "Damn it."
Dan glanced up at a nearby clock on the wall as the recorder was shut off his eyes growing droopy. It was getting pretty late. It was well after midnight now.
He had to silently wonder why he'd agreed to stay for a late night recording when Arin had suggested it. Dan guessed it was mostly because he really had nothing better to do, and besides a late night recording session would knock out a chunk of Arin's and his forever growing workload.
Dan couldn't help but to wish he could sink completely down into the sofa far enough to disappear as Arin spoke a grin on his face "So you still talking to your friend Elle?"
Dan resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Arin emphasized the word friend. "Yeah, a little."
He had been talking to her far more than a little. He had been talking to her a lot...almost every night for the past week actually.
Dan was surprised but grateful that Elle seemed to have taken his orders, to call her when she was suffering from nightmares, to heart.
They had been facetiming nightly for about a week now and Dan honestly hoped he was helping her as much as he'd hoped he could.
He couldn't exactly explain why it meant so much to him, being there for her. He guessed it just went along with how he'd been raised. His mother had taught him empathy from a young age. She had always reminded him to lend a helping hand to those in need.
Dan had always credited his mother for installing a strong sense of kindness in him.
That strong sense of kindness and empathy seemed to have latched on to Elle. She seemed to need someone to lean on and Dan couldn't help but to want to be that someone.
Dan wasn't about to admit any of this information to Arin though.
Dan's and Elle's nightly facetime conversations were private. She had trusted him enough to open up to him about her fears in these nightly conversations and he wasn't going to betray her trust by spilling any details to anyone.
"And you haven't asked her out yet?" Arin asked already knowing what Dan's answer would be.
"Nope." Dan stated his stomach churning at the choice in conversation. It seemed that Elle was Arin's top choice in a conversation topic lately, at least when they weren't recording.
Dan guessed he should count his blessings. He might have a heart attack if Arin decided to bring up Elle during a recording session.
Yes they could always have Barry or Kevin edit that part of the conversation out, but still. The idea of a third party listening to Arin badgering him over Elle was mortifying.
It was bad enough that Suzy had joined in on the Elle conversations...and Ross too. Dan was actually pretty sure the entire office was aware of Elle's existence. Ross, Suzy, and Arin were the only ones brazen enough to actually harass him about it though.
Dan knew why they were all pushing the Elle issue so hard. They cared about him and they could tell that Elle meant something to him, more than he would admit out loud.
He knew he was lucky to have friends that cared about his happiness, but they were all driving him a little insane.
To be truthful Dan just wished they would all back off and let him handle things with Elle his own way.
"You haven't asked her out because you're just friends, right?" Arin asked being sure to emphasize the word friends once again.
Dan frowned at this comment his brain threatening to go into overdrive at the friend comment.
Were Elle and he still considered just friends?
They'd had some pretty deep conversations lately...deeper and far more serious than the types of conversations you carried on with someone who you considered to be just a friend.
Then there was the fact that he'd pretty much held her that night at her apartment. He'd held for a long long while. At first he'd just been trying to soothe her tears, but even after the tears had dried Dan had been still unwilling to let her out of his arms.
It had felt so right, holding her, keeping her safe. He liked knowing that he could make her feel safe. She'd seemed to like it as well after all she'd remained so willingly in his arms clinging to him for such a long time.
A voice in the back of Dan's head already knew the answer to the questions bouncing around in his brain.
Elle and he had probably skated past that thin line between a platonic friendship and over into something more. What that something more was though, Dan wasn't sure what to label it.
Did whatever was going on between Elle and he even really need a label yet though? It was probably too soon to label it dating. After all they would have needed to have gone on an actual date for it to be labeled dating.
Dan had thought that by his age he'd have more insight into the complexities of relationships, but he was still as clueless as he'd ever been.
He hadn't had felt this clueless in a long while, not since he was an awkward teenager.
He guessed age didn't always equate to wisdom...especially when it came to matters of the heart.
All Dan was absolutely sure of was that whatever was going on between Elle and he, it was something he wanted more of.
It was a shock to him, after all a few months ago he would have said that he wasn't really interested in jumping into any sort of serious relationship especially not so quickly.
With Elle though he couldn't help but to like the idea of having something with her, something serious if she'd allow it.
Being around her made him happy, and that was a good enough reason wasn't it? He deserved to be happy.
She deserved someone great, and he liked the idea of being what she deserved.
Sure the idea of having something more with her was a little intimidating, but Dan couldn't deny just how much he liked the idea of it. He guessed the heart really did want what the heart wanted.
"I don't know...it's complicated." Dan admitted shocked by his own answer. He mentally kicked himself a little knowing that Arin would latch on to this comment and try to push him to make a move sooner than later.
"What's so complicated about it? You clearly like her and she probably hopefully is into you...if she isn't then there is something clearly wrong with her...but anyway...It's not that complicated. Just ask her out already. Shit on the pot or get off." Arin remarked tempted to smack his best friend over the back of his curly head.
Dan was making this far too difficult. What was so hard about asking a girl out? Sure Elle's brother was scary as shit, but that was something Dan could probably work past.
He seemed to like her enough, he spent more than enough time with her after all. So why not just make a move already?
Arin was more than slightly tempted to find a way to lock Dan and Elle into a room together until they made a move. He wasn't sure if that would be an a reasonable plan though.
He'd probably be better off just casually encouraging Dan to make a move on Elle before someone else came along and did it.
Dan cringed at the shit on the pot comment. Leave it to Arin to end his motivational statement with an analogy about pooping.
Dan shook his head wishing that asking Elle out was that easy. He was tempted to mention Elle's past relationship and how it maybe made moving too quickly with her a bit of a sensitive issue.
She was still recovering from Adam after all, not to mention some of the more sensitive details she'd shared with Dan about her childhood trauma. She had a lot of healing to do.
He had to keep that in mind when it came to pursuing her. She needed time to learn to fully trust him before Dan made his move and pushed for some sort of label to whatever they had together.
Dan knew he that telling Arin everything would be betraying Elle's trust though. No she hadn't told him to keep her past a secret, but Dan was sure she wouldn't want him babbling to just anyone about it.
He once again reminded himself that she'd opened up to him about her past and he had to keep it to himself.
"It's not that simple...trust me...it's just complicated."
"So you keep saying." Arin replied already planning on what to say to push the issue a bit more.
He didn't have a chance to do so though as Dan's phone began to ring. Arin raised an eyebrow at the sound. The sound of birds chirping was definitely not Dan's usual Tom Sawyer ringtone.
Dan cleared his throat avoiding Arin's questioning gaze. Yes he'd set a special ringtone for Elle's calls. She liked birds after all so when he'd found a ringtone of birds chirping it had seemed like it was meant to be.
Giving her a special ringtone had just seemed like a sensible thing to do after Elle had agreed to call him when ever she was having a rough time. Dan just wanted to be sure he knew when to drop what he was doing and take her calls.
Dan continued to ignore Arin's gaze as Dan untangled himself from his blanket cocoon and answered his phone almost tangling himself up in the blankets in the process.
He stood up from the couch moving past his mic his legs feeling a little unsteady after sitting for so long recording. He made sure that he was far enough away from Arin so as not to have the man join in on this conversation, as he answered the facetime call.
Dan hoped that he sounded and looked casual as he looked into his screen and spoke. "Hey."
He left the room shutting the door behind him grateful that Arin didn't take it upon himself to follow him and introduce himself to Elle.
The view on Dan's phone was dim, but he could clearly see Elle sitting up in her bed. She spoke her voice shaky that childlike tone present in her voice just like it had been that night in her apartment. "H-h-Hi."
"Talk to me...just slow down and breathe." Dan said his voice soft and soothing. He stopped mid hallway and leaned back against the wall his heart twisting a little bit as he listened to her attempts to slow down her breathing.
She was mid panic attack. He could hear it in her breathing alone. Her breaths were shallow and uneven, as though she was struggling to take in air and exhaling before she even had a chance to gather enough air into her lungs.
He spoke again his voice still gentle. "Turn on a light and keep taking deep breaths Ellie. I'm here, just keep breathing. Come on in through your nose and out through your mouth."
Elle did as he said trying to focus on maintaining deep slow breaths. She still couldn't help but to feel like such a burden, calling him so often always so late.
He always said that it was okay and not to worry about it, but she still felt like such an annoyance to him.
She was surprised he hadn't ghosted her yet. It would easy enough for him to do, all he'd have to do is block her calls. She was probably such a giant burden on him. He probably just felt sorry for her.
Elle cringed at these thoughts. Her brain always had a way of trying to convince her that Dan really saw her as some sort of pest. Her brain always told her that she was annoying Dan. Her mind always insisted that Dan really wanted her to leave him alone but he was just too nice to tell her so.
Her brain told her that he would tell her to fuck off one of these days. He would tell her to get lost and find a damn therapist, quit dragging him down with her issues. Grow up and get over the fact that we all have scars from our childhoods. So grow a pair and pull yourself up.
A more sensible voice tried to tell her that Dan would never say any of those things to her. He was too kind, too sweet. He wouldn't tell her to go away even if he probably should.
Or at least she didn't think he would. She knew they hadn't known each other for too terribly long, but he didn't seem like the kind of person who would just kick her aside while she was down and tell her to deal with her own problems.
Still though Elle always felt like she needed to make sure that she wasn't bothering him. She always felt like she needed to apologize.
It was a familiar situation for her, feeling like she should apologize for everything rather it was her fault or not. She always felt as though she should apologize for just existing.
She felt so pathetic. She guessed in reality she kind of was pathetic.
She was always seeking reassurance, always wanting to double check where she stood with people. She was always so eager to please people even to the point of exhausting herself. She set herself on fire to keep other people warm.
She was an obnoxious burden of a person, a real shitshow of a disaster. She couldn't understand why Dan was putting up with her.
Elle couldn't deny the comfort that these late night talks with Dan had given her though. She was shocked at the way Dan seemed to know just what to say and do to calm her nerves and bring her back down from the midst panic.
He was always gentle, always patient, always calm. He always made her smile. He always made her feel like she just might be okay or at least okay enough to face another day.
Dan studied Elle as she turned on her bedside lamp brightening the dim room.
Without make up her freckles were clear as can be even in the slightly blurry camera phone lens. Her hair was a bit of a mess from sleep, and he could spot her dark blue comforter wrapped tight against her form almost as though she'd been clutching it trying to calm herself.
She finally spoke as her breathing began to even out a little bit. "I'm sorry for calling."
She cringed at her own apology already knowing he was going to brush it off. She still didn't understand how he could be so sweet to her without wanting something in return.
A more insecure less trusting part of herself almost feared he just might ask for something in return one of these days.
That taunting voice in the back of her head was always warning her that Dan might just have some sort of ulterior motive behind that kindness he was so willing to give her.
No one wanted to give you anything without expecting some sort of payback. It was human nature, to give and take.
"It's okay...I keep telling you that you don't have anything to say sorry for." Dan reassured her their late night facetime conversations always starting out like this.
As soon as she began to come down from her anxiety attack the apologies started.
"I know, you always say that...I still feel so stupid though." Elle admitted shame beginning to set in.
She'd become so comfortable crying out for Dan over the past week. Every night she called and every night he answered without complaint.
It was as though he'd become a walking talking poofy haired security blanket.
That voice taunted her yet again; He would grow sick of being her security blanket soon. She was too much, she had always been too much for people to take on.
"It's not stupid Ellie. It's really okay. I don't mind...I wouldn't have told you that you could call me if it was going to bother me." Dan continued to reassure her.
He'd discovered that she seemed to need more than a bit of reassurance in moments like this.
It was a side effect of her past he guessed. She needed to be promised and assured that she wasn't a burden and that she wasn't dumb.
It made his heart hurt to realize that she'd probably been made to feel like a stupid burden more than once in her life.
He wanted to fix it, to make her understand that she wasn't a burden...he knew you couldn't fix people though...all you could do was care for them...be there for them.
The two sat in silence for a short moment before Dan spoke up. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Elle felt her throat tighten up knowing just what he was asking. He wanted to know about the dream, her entire reason for calling him yet again.
"Just keep breathing and talk to me." Dan stated doing his best to stop her from falling into the pitfalls of another panic attack.
Elle did her best to follow his instructions trying to focus on her breathing as she began to recall her dream. "I was in the woods again...the same woods my father used to take Jake and I camping in...it was dark...really dark, like no moon or stars. I was running barefoot in a nightgown...I couldn't see what I was running from but it was probably my dad...it's usually my dad when I dream about the woods."
She paused taking a few more deep breaths her hands shaking ever so slightly. She propped the phone in front of her thankful that it didn't fall over on her and take Dan out of sight.
She kept breathing slowly her eyes shifting from the camera for a moment. "There was something new in this dream though...something that didn't belong...a cabin...it didn't belong there...I mean where we camped there wasn't a cabin for miles unless you count like one of those little recoup cabins that the rangers put in for people to rest up if they're out hiking too late."
She paused knowing she was rambling. She took another deep breath her heart still feeling like it might slam right out of her chest. "Anyway...this cabin it was huge...and something was screaming in me to get into it and when I did...it wasn't a cabin anymore...I was back in my condo...the one I lived in in Galveston. It was like I jumped from one nightmare to another. It was more of a flashback than an actual nightmare...I was in Adam's and my bedroom...and I was getting ready for a party. I can remember it, it was one of these parties Adam always threw...like a big thing for his investors...he would always throw these fancy parties that I had to attend...and I had to look perfect because he said I was a reflection of him."
Elle paused a small bitter laugh escaping her throat. "I was a reflection of who he was as a man...When I was with him I wasn't my own person. I was only what he wanted me to be. I had to wear a nice dress and heavy jewelry. I had to have my hair and makeup perfect...He would pick out my clothing usually anyway, but at those parties I had no choice but to wear whatever he said...my entire outfit really...I was always told to be on my best behavior...don't talk about politics or anything that might show I have a thought of my own...just smile and speak when spoken too. Play the perfect hostess...don't fuck up anything for him."
She paused again turning her gaze back to Dan relieved that he didn't have any signs of judgment in his eyes.
She'd almost expected him to look at her like she was an idiot, after all hadn't she been pretty stupid to stay with Adam for so long, to abide by his rules.
She'd been so desperate to be loved, to be taken care of. It hadn't been love though, love wasn't supposed to feel like that.
"I...was getting ready. I'd spent hours on my makeup and hair making sure it looked correct...good enough for Adam to approve of...and the dress...it was this silky material...really fragile...really expensive. I noticed that there was this tear in the dress...I knew I didn't have time to fix it...and I had a lot of dresses...nice ones, some of them I'd never even worn before...I didn't think it would be a big deal if I just wore one of those...I mean It wasn't the same color but it was almost an identical dress."
Elle let out a deep shaky breath anxiety threatening to take over again. She stared over to her bedside keeping her eyes off Dan as she spoke quickly wanting to get this all out, wanting to open up. "It was a big deal though to Adam...He screamed at me, called me a clumsy idiot...it was my fault the dress he'd chosen had a tear in it...it probably got torn from my big ass...I was getting fatter...I was just fat and stupid Eleanor...always fucking up things for him. When I tried to argue he...he smacked me...hard...he kept on hitting me...throwing a few kicks in too once I was knocked to the ground...he worked out his rage on me...and when he was done...he apologized...just like he always did...told me I just pushed his buttons sometimes...that he was stressed...money was tight for him and some investors had backed out...and...and he just left me after that...told me to clean up and rest up...that he'd tell everyone I had food poisoning and was resting."
She let out another shaky breath a small laugh slipping from her lips, bitterness dripping from the sound. "And I took it...just like I always did...I woke up before I got to the apology portion of the dream this time at least."
She finally connected her eyes back towards her phone her vision beginning to blur as she struggled not to cry. That mean little voice in the back of her head was quick to speak up; Oh God now you're crying, way to be pathetic. "Sorry...I'm...pretty freaking stupid to stay with someone like that...I mean a little over a year of my life was dedicated to him...I said yes when he asked me to marry him...and he did that to me...I'm fucked in the head. I have to be...why else would I take that kind of pain...especially after taking it again and again as a kid...I was too stupid to leave the first time he hit me. I was so stupid."
"You aren't stupid...I mean...he wasn't like that when you first started dating him right?" Dan blurted out saying the only thing he could think to soothe her.
To be truthful he was still reeling a bit from the story she'd just told. He was in shock that she could have endured so much pain. He was shocked that Adam would rage like that over a dress of all things...yes he knew the dress wasn't the real issue, it was really about controlling Elle's life, but still.
Dan didn't understand how Adam could have claimed to love Elle when he had treated her that way. He just couldn't wrap his brain around how you could hurt someone who you supposedly loved.
Elle frowned a bit thrown off by his question. She had almost expected him to agree with her. "No...no he seemed nice when we first started dating...charming really...It didn't get bad until after we got engaged...I mean he was controlling before that...he didn't like me to go out or talk to other people...he didn't get...ya know...the violence didn't start until after we'd gotten engaged."
Dan nodded his head trying his best to reassure her as he spoke surprised as a bit of anger began to bubble down within his gut, not anger towards Elle, but anger towards Adam. Dan felt anger for what the man had done and the mess he'd left in Elle's head. "So you couldn't have known that he could do that to you...you didn't realize until you'd been with him for a while...you didn't realize until you were trapped...So you can't blame yourself...Never blame yourself for the way he treated you, okay. Promise me you'll never blame yourself. What he did to you, that's all on him Ellie. He is the only one to blame. You had nothing to do with what he did to you."
Elle let out a small shaky breath his words hitting her hard. He was right, she couldn't have known that it would come down to that. She had been trapped.
She spoke her voice tiny her eyes still watering. "Okay...I promise...I'll try not to blame myself."
The two sat in silence for a short moment before Dan spoke wanting to do or say anything to bring Elle back up again. He just wanted to make her smile. "Twenty questions."
"What?...seriously?" Elle remarked completely thrown off by his request. Twenty questions, wasn't that a kids game.
"Yeah come on, it's lame I know...but It'll be fun...I'll start first. Favorite season?" Dan replied deciding that this was the best course of action. He could distract her, distraction was good.
Elle frowned still a little thrown off by the change in conversation. She spoke up deciding to play along though. "Fall...it's not too hot but not too cold either...I hate summer...I don't like it when it gets too hot...Texas summers are the worst...what about you?"
"Winter, but not this bullshit California winter...I'm talking a real winter, a Jersey winter, where you get snow up to your knees and it's so cold you think you might freeze...I like that kind of winter, where you can stay out in the snow all day playing with your friends and throwing snowballs...until your parents make you come inside to warm up with a hot drink and a quilt." Dan answered his mind flashing back to his childhood in New Jersey, the long cold winter days when it was so cold that the school had closed for a snow day.
"We don't have winters like that where I come from...I don't think I've ever seen real snow...I mean unless it was on a TV." Elle admitted a little embarrassed to admit this fact.
The only weather she'd gotten in her hometown was severe weather that threatened to form tornadoes. In Galveston there had just been hurricanes. She'd never seen snow though.
Dan was almost tempted to blurt out that he'd take her to Jersey and show her snow sometime, he held this comment in though worrying that it would come across as clingy, or just pushing for too much far too soon.
He was almost thankful as Elle spoke again stopping him from saying anything foolish. "What's your favorite color?"
She paused a small genuine laugh escaping her lips and filling Dan's heart with joy. "Lame question I know."
"Blue...like a nice turquoise blue...or an azure...I don't know the right term to describe it. You?" Dan replied his heart still feeling so much fuller knowing that she was returning to a happier state, her anxiety was beginning to fade.
"Green...like a cactus green...forest green is nice too." Elle explained tempted to ask if Dan's love of blue was the reasoning behind the color of the Danny Sexbang get up she'd seen in the videos he'd shown her.
She didn't have a chance to as Dan spoke it his turn to ask a question. "Favorite song?"
"So long Marianne by Leonard Cohen. Let me guess for you, anything by Rush...probably Tom Sawyer." Elle replied not helping but to tease him about his Rush obsession.
"Yep, you've caught on quickly. Favorite vacation? Mine is when my parents took me Israel for my bar mitzvah...I think it's just because it was such a big deal ya know...my parents were really proud of me...and my dad...Avi...he's from Israel...so he got to show me where he came from." Dan explained a small chuckle escaping his throat a little amused that she'd guessed one of his favorites so easily.
Elle felt a small smile tug at her lips remembering how Dan had explained to her that he'd grown calling his mom and dad by their first names. He'd practically taught himself to talk, and for some reason he'd wound up calling his parents by their first names and had called his grandmother mom.
The smile faded though as she spoke answering the question. "My family really didn't take vacations...unless you count the whole father taking Jacob and I hunting thing...Adam took me to Jamaica once...but it wasn't...it was a bad time."
Dan cringed as he spotted the look in her eyes, he could see the panic threatening to rear it's ugly head back into her mind as she tried not to think about whatever had happened in Jamaica.
He spoke rather quickly his voice gentle as he did the same thing he'd found himself doing these past few nights when her panic got to be too much. It was the only thing he could think to do. "Hey come on Doe Eyes, don't space out on me...sing with me, okay...I'll start off and you join me when you're ready."
"Come over to the window, my little darling.
I'd like to try and read your palm
I used to think I was some kind of gypsy boy
Before I let you take me home.
Now it's so long, Marianne
It's time that we began to laugh
and cry and cry and laugh about it all again."
...
Arin frowned thinking that his mind was playing tricks on him at first as he heard what was clearly the sound of Dan singing.
He was tempted to step out into the hall and follow the sound, but held back. He had the feeling that Dan clearly didn't want him to butt in on his conversation.
The sound continued for a long while before there was just silence.
The silence lasted long enough that Arin almost second guessed his decision not to check in on Dan.
He didn't have time to follow through on this change in decision though as Dan entered the room his phone stuffed back into his pocket his shoulders looking heavy.
Dan plopped down on the sofa beside Arin, Arin not helping but to silently study the man. He looked drained. He seemed far less peppy than he'd seemed just a few minutes ago when he'd answered that facetime call.
"You okay?" Arin dared to ask almost sure that Dan wouldn't tell him the truth anyhow.
"Yeah...just...tired, really tired." Dan stated half lying.
He was tired but it was both a physical and an emotional exhaustion. His mind was still reeling from Elle's story and his heart hurt when he allowed himself to think to hard about it.
She had managed to join him in singing. They'd sang for a long while, two songs until she'd calmed down enough to start acting like herself again.
A small part of Dan had to wonder if this was all too much for him to take on? She probably needed more help than he could provide.
His heart was quick to scold him for even daring to wonder this though. Yes he could handle it, he would handle it for her.
He would do whatever she needed him to do.
"Elle okay?" Arin dared to ask completely sure that Dan would deflect from having to talk anymore about Elle.
He was stunned as Dan spoke up opening up a tiny bit his mouth moving before his brain could tell him to hold it all in. "She has nightmares...bad ones...she's got a bad...a bad past...bad relationships with everyone but her brother...We've been talking a lot...a lot about her past...I don't think she has anyone else to talk to about it all...It's just, it's a lot to take in sometimes. I want to take it though...I just, I know it's stupid but I want to help her...Sometimes I have to wonder if I'm enough though."
"She seems to think you're enough...I mean you said she's opened up to you...You're probably...you listening probably means a lot to her." Arin replied a bit stunned that Dan had actually told him this much.
He guessed that explained the whole it's complicated policy Dan had seemed to adopt when it came to questions about rather he would make a move on Elle or not.
"I hope so...she just...she's been kind of isolated these past few years...she's got a lot of insecurities about herself and...well everything...I just hope I'm helping her even if it's just a little bit. I know I can't fix her...you can't fix people you know...she has to figure that out on her own. I want to help as much as possible though." Dan replied rubbing his eyes trying to stave off the need to sleep.
They still had a lot of recording to do.
Arin nodded his head the two men sitting in silence for a long moment until Arin dared to speak up hoping that he wasn't suggesting the wrong thing. "Suzy and I are throwing a cookout this weekend...just a small thing. Bring Elle...maybe it'll be good for her to get out...get her mind off of...things."
Dan frowned wanting to say no. She probably wouldn't want to be thrown into a cookout filled with strangers.
Maybe Arin had a point though, maybe it would be good for her to get out, to see other people, maybe even make some friends.
"Okay...I'll bring her...it's just going to be a small thing right though? I don't want to overwhelm her." Dan asked having to double check.
He just didn't want to do the wrong thing when it came to her. He didn't want to screw this all up.
"Yeah just our main crew...Brian and his wife, Audrey...not too many people. It's just going to be a small get together." Arin promised doing his best to reassure Dan.
It was odd he'd never seen the usually overly optimistic Dan look so unsure of himself before, not like this.
Dan nodded his head coming to a decision. He just hoped that this cookout really would be good for Elle.
...
Elle tried to focus on the food on her plate and keep her mind busy. She frowned at her brother's plate across the booth from her. Her stomach turned slightly as Jake sliced his fried egg open the yoak spilling out making a mess of the plate soaking into his toast.
She turned her eyes away trying to avoid the yawn threatening to sneak up in her throat from making itself known.
She failed though yawning big and loud.
Jake of course caught this his brow furrowing. "You not sleeping well?"
Elle bit the inside of her cheek the lie spilling from her lips. "No...I'm fine...I just stayed up too late last night...Netflix binge."
Jake frowned not looking as though he believed her. He was tempted to ask her just what she'd been watching on Netflix but held back the interrogation.
Elle poked at her pancakes trying to fight back exhaustion. She'd had another restless night, another long late conversation with Dan.
It seemed as though Dan was a thin thread holding the fabric that was her sanity and self together lately. She felt so pathetic still.
She was counting on him so much and he was so sweet. He was so willing to help her and she couldn't understand why.
She wasn't shocked as Jake spoke asking her the same thing he'd asked her the last time they'd talked. "You found a job yet?"
"I was thinking of giving exotic dancing a try...I'm not sure I could keep the bills in my g string though...and I don't like the idea of waxing everything...I mean you'd have to if you're going to wear a g string." Elle replied sarcasm dripping form her lips not shocked as Jake noticeably cringed a scowl appearing on his face.
"Stop it. That's not funny."
Elle shook her head a small sigh escaping her lips. "I haven't really looked to be serious...there's no rush...it's not like the family fortune is going to dry up anytime soon."
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Jake's scowl deepened at this comment.
They would never agree on rather to use their trust funds or not. She had long ago decided to use the money no matter how much she disliked the fact that it had come from their screwed up family.
Jake however had decided to leave his trust fund alone. He'd rather starve than touch the family money.
Elle stared down at her plate praying that her cheeks weren't darkening as Jake spoke up his voice not sounding entirely pleased. "You've been hanging out with Dan a lot lately."
She shrugged her shoulders wondering how he'd react if he only knew just how much of a role Dan had begun to play in her life. She knew Jake probably wouldn't like it.
He was too overprotective. He didn't trust outsiders around her. She guessed it all went back to Jake's and her childhood. He'd spent so many years protecting her from their own parents, so how was he supposed to trust people around her if he couldn't even trust their own parents.
Elle couldn't help but to be a little annoyed by it. She loved her brother but sometimes she couldn't help but to think that he still saw her as a scrawny little girl still in need of his protection.
She spoke trying to sound casual and not too interested as she continued to poke at her half eaten breakfast. "I have, a little."
"Hmph." was Jake's only reply.
Elle raised an eyebrow not helping but to speak up a bit too loud causing a few people in the booth behind them to glance over their way. "What's hmph supposed to mean?"
Jake sent their audience a glare regretting choosing this diner for this conversation. "Nothing...just be careful."
Elle raised an eyebrow unable to stop herself from defending Dan from whatever Jake was implying. "What's that supposed to mean? Dan isn't some kind of boogeyman predator out to defile me and my innocent ladylike sensibilities you know? I mean he is your friend right?"
"Right...he's also a single guy." Jake remarked his jaw tightening.
He couldn't get his mind off the way Dan had so sweetly smiled at Elle that night at Jake's apartment.
The last thing he needed was the gangly walking talking puff of hair making a move on Elle. She didn't need that crap not right now.
Elle spoke again knowing she might be scolding Jake but she couldn't help it, not when Dan had been so great to her. "Right, and he's a sweet guy so back off."
She cringed as Jake raised his eyebrow at the sweet guy comment.
She spoke again trying to play off her comment as being innocent. "Dan's a nice guy. We've just ate takeout and watched a few movies...he's lent me a few Rush albums...so you have nothing to worry about. He's just a friend...or an acquaintance really."
She knew she was lying. Dan and she were becoming something, what that something was she wasn't sure.
It felt like more than friendship though.
That realization didn't scare Elle as much as she'd thought it would. In fact the thought of whatever this was that was happening between Dan and her made her feel actually pretty good.
Yes it was a little scary, a little anxiety inducing to be honest. It was the last thing she'd expected to fall into when she'd made the choice to come to California to her brother.
Whatever this was that was developing between Dan and she was good though, she liked it and she wanted more.
Dan made her happy. She wanted to be happy, she deserved to be happy for once in her life.
She was almost relieved as Jake's cell beeped. He stared down at it a huff escaping his lips. "I gotta go. Second jobs calling me in."
Elle nodded her head allowing her brother to press a kiss to her forehead slapping the money down for the bill and the tip down on the table. She spoke not helping but to push her previous statement in. "Don't worry about Dan...and don't worry about me...I'm just adjusting to some changes...I'll live through this though...Brannocks don't die easy, remember."
"Yeah we just die violent and bloody. It's the family curse, remember." Jake remarked rolling his eyes as he grabbed his jacket.
Elle shook her head trying to ignore the chill that ran down her spine at this comment, the family curse.
Was he right? Was misfortune bound to catch up with her eventually? Would it come in the form of something violent and bloody?
She did her best to swallow back these thoughts as she watched Jake disappear from the diner.
She let out a small sigh as she tried to quiet her restless mind. She needed to try to get some sleep.
Maybe she should take a nap when she got home.
As hard as she tried not to think about it she couldn't stop herself from beginning to wonder what Jake would do if and when he found out about whatever this relationship was between Dan and she.
Dan and she were more than acquaintances and they were more than likely more than friends. If they were moving in the direction she was sure they were moving in hell might break loose once her brother figured it out.
Elle knew that Jake wasn't going to like it at all. There would probably be a lot of screaming and maybe some punches thrown from Jake. She cringed at the thought.
She pushed it from her mind as her own cell beeped. She stared down at her phone her heart lifting as she spotted a text from Dan.
My friends are having a cookout tomorrow night, just a small thing. Would you like to come with me?
Elle felt her heart beat a bit faster, his friends. He wanted her to meet his friends. That was a big step, it was a step that was proving this was more than friendship.
What if his friends hated her? What if she made a big ass of herself?
But what if she didn't? What if it all turned out just right?
She felt a smile cross her features as she typed her reply
Sure, I'd love to go. Sounds great.
Elle placed the phone down in front of her awaiting Dan's reply.
She deserved to be happy.