September came around and Fitz hasn't crossed paths with Olivia since that night that he kissed her.
Sometimes he wondered what her reaction would be if they had to come face to face.
He knew what he would do. He would most definitely apologize for the kiss.
Helen could tell something was off with her son which was the main reason she invited him over to have lunch while his father wasn't home.
"So, mind telling me what's been bothering you?"
"What are you talking about mom."
"I know you Fitz and I can tell that you're not yourself."
"How am I not myself?"
"I can't explain it to you, I just know something's up."
"Mother's intuition?" He asked with a faint smile.
"Correct. Now, do you want to talk about it?"
"How do I tell you that I found myself being attracted to the most amazing woman I've ever met but she's actually engaged to be married and yet for reasons that I cannot explain I kissed her."
"Oh Fitz.."
"She's happy with her fiancé. I don't know what I was thinking."
"Did it ever go further than just a kiss?"
"No. Never. We haven't seen or talked to each other since that night that I kissed her."
"Son I think it's better if you keep it this way. If she's happy in her relationship, let her be. You don't want to explore this any further because all parties involved will end up with hatred and regret and that could take a very ugly turn."
"Trust me mom, I'm staying away. I feel terrible that I didn't get a chance to apologize to her."
"Did you know her for a long time?"
"Not even, but when we met there was a unique sort of chemistry between us. I could feel it."
Helen didn't know what to say to her son other than the advice that she has already given him. So they finished the rest of their lunch in a comfortable silence.
With Olivia the situation was different.
That night of the kiss, when her fiancé came home she felt horrible.
He loved her with all his heart and she just had her another man's lips on hers.
She felt horrible but she didn't feel guilty and that was messing her up.
The attention she received from Fitz was entirely different from that of Tyler's.
Tyler knew her but it took him a long time to figure her out.
He made her feel loved and adored.
Then came this stranger. Fitz.
They just clicked right off the bat.
When she felt his hot breath on her lips just before he kissed her it felt like a spell being casted on her.
Nothing else mattered in that particular moment.
She didn't want to back out. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to be reckless and feel that man's lips on hers.
But why? Why did she feel that way if she was so happy and in love with Tyler.
Olivia couldn't decipher her mixed feelings.
She needed someone to talk to but it couldn't be Abby. Although she could talk to Abby about anything, they had no secrets but not his. No way.
She felt like no matter who she told, that person would judge the hell out of her and Olivia wasn't up for that.
That left one person.
The man who came into her life like a tornado.
Fitz.
xxx
"Mr Grant there's a client here to see you."
"It's almost closing time Paula, set up a meeting for tomorrow." Fitz spoke into his office phone to his assistant.
"Sir, she says she won't be able to see you tomorrow."
Fitz wasn't fond of turning a client down so he caved. "Alright fine, send her in."
He turned with his back facing the door to put some files away.
Olivia paused at the entryway. Watching him move around in his office, oblivious to her presence.
Her stomach tensed up.
Maybe this was a mistake. She thought.
Olivia strongly considered making a quiet exit but her plan failed because Fitz turned around and noticed her.
His eyebrows raised with surprise.
"Hi." It was all he could get out while making sure he wasn't imagining things.
Slowly..step-by-step Liv made her way further into his office.
Fitz's desk separating them.
"I'm sorry Olivia. Really. What I did--"
His assistant knocked softly on his office door interrupting them.
She apologised and handed him a few folders before making a swift exit.
Fitz rounded the desk and went to stand by the couch over at the window. He cleared his throat and asked, "Would you like to sit down?"
"Sure, thanks."
"As I was saying before.." He started as they both sat down. "..I'm sorry. I was wrong and if you want to slap me, go ahead."
"Why did you kiss me?"
"Because I like you. I know, I shouldn't. You're engaged but.." He clasped his hands together. "Tell me you felt it too? We had..have chemistry. I know I'm not imagining things."
"Fitz. . We can't. I have Tyler. I love him. We're getting married."
"I know."
Silence fell over them while they took a minute to just take each other in. Gazing.
"Why did you decide to come here today?"
"You left me restless." She admitted honestly.
"Did you uh..did you tell him?"
"No."
"Are you going to?"
"Should I? It was a simple kiss."
"That could ruin your entire relationship."
"Look I just came here to talk. I had to talk to someone and this is not exactly something you just casually bring up to your friends or family."
"I guess it makes sense talking to me then since you're probably looking for more answers."
"Why do you like me?"
Fitz smiled brightly. "What's not to like? You're beautiful, bright, funny, witty, easy to talk to.." He drifted off and ended up staring deeply into her eyes again.
Olivia felt bare underneath his strong gaze.
"Sorry.." Fitz said looking away.
The whole building has emptied out by now. It was closing time after all.
"You probably want to get home as well." Liv said after his assistant poked her head in to say she was leaving and that everyone else was already gone.
"No, we can talk."
"I've been with him for four years now. He proposed to me after two years of dating but I wasn't ready. Not because I had any doubts but I wanted my life together first before starting a new one. My dream was always to open up my own business. I wanted to do that first before settling down."
"So when did he eventually propose again?"
"Earlier this year. We were the happiest we've ever been in our relationship. The timing was just right so I said yes."
"He seems like a nice guy."
"He is and he treats me well."
"So, you basically came here to convince yourself that our connection wasn't real and that you're very much in love with your husband. Look, if you were wondering.. I'm staying away."
Olivia wanted to slap herself because of what was running through her mind at that point.
For some reason a small part of her didn't want him to just leave. She wanted to get to know more of him. Spend time with him. Allowing him to take her breath away with his powerful gazes.
She knew it was wrong. So wrong. But she wanted to make sense of what she was feeling.
After their kiss she grew curious. Wondering why her body felt like a hot flame when his lips pressed against hers. She's never experienced something like that but she wanted to feel it again.
Before she could put her thoughts together, she found herself reaching for his face and pulling him in for a kiss.
Fitz was shocked to say the least.
He never expected her to kiss him.
While his mind was trying to digest her actions, his body reacted to her kiss and he kiss her back.
This time it was a proper kiss. Burning albeit delicate.
There was a pause in both their realities. All that mattered was them giving in to the chemistry between them.
One thing led to another and Fitz found his shirt being ripped off by Olivia.
Being in that moment with each other just felt right.
xxx
The first week of December.
Four months since the night in his office.
Four months of Olivia not being honest with her fiancé, family or friends.
Four months of her doing her best to avoid having sex with Tyler. She would stay at work throughout the day or pretend to be exhausted or asleep at night whenever he comes in from a late night at work.
It's been going on for four months. Their affair.
That's not how they saw it though.
It was never an affair to them even if it was exactly that. An affair.
Sneaking around. Being discreet. Hooking up then feeling slightly guilty afterwards.
...But it felt right whenever they were together in the reality that they created. A reality of just them. Fitz and Liv.
Their connection became stronger.
They couldn't stay away.
She would be on his mind all day and he on hers.
The sex wasn't just sex.
It was passionate. He treated her like a delicate flower.
The way in which he brought her sexual satisfaction was on another level.
It scared her how easily and quickly she became so hooked on him.
He hated that he couldn't man up and end things between them sooner because he knew she wasn't just going to leave her fiancé.
Who throws away a long term relationship for someone you practically just met.
Finding time alone every now and them wasn't just about sex. They also talked a lot which allowed him to get to know her even better. So he knew her.
He knew the kind of person that she was which told him that she wasn't going to leave Tyler just like that.
Olivia might've gotten involved in an affair but she still loved her fiancé and Fitz knew he had no right to ask her or expect her to give up a whole relationship and possibly a marriage for the two of them to have a chance. It wasn't fair towards Olivia or Tyler for that matter.
Fitz also didn't have it in him to dare bring up the question.
What happens to us when you get married?
The wedding was just days away. That's how quick time has gone by.
He wasn't ready to let go even if he knew that he was the loser in this situation.
If Olivia gets married, he'll be left with a broken heart because he has developed genuine feelings for her.
So now Olivia found herself at home staring at her phone at 2am.
She got back from her bachelorette party an hour ago.
Tyler was staying at his parents until their big day. That's what they agreed upon.
Her thumb scrolled until she stopped at his contact number.
Dialling. . .
Then she heard him answer.
"Hi." Olivia replied quietly. "Did I wake you?"
"Well yeah.. It's two in the morning." He chuckled his sleepy state away.
"Sorry. Can you come over? We have to talk."
"Now??"
"Please."
"Uh..okay. Is he--"
"He's not here."
"I'll be there soon.
True to his word Fitz pulled up at her house after 30 minutes.
They were sitting in the living room when Olivia spoke up, "I had my bachelorette party tonight."
"Oh.." He sounded disappointed and hurt.
"You know I'm getting married in 72 hours Fitz."
"I do know that."
Olivia took a deep breath. "We have to stop."
Here it comes.
"Don't look at me like that, please." She told him. His face made her want to jump into his arms but right now she was doing what she thought was the right thing.
"Liv. . I know what we did goes against both our values and beliefs but--"
Olivia was quick to cut him short. "Fitz please. It'll be easier if you let go, that way I can let go too."
He was silently cursing the universe for throwing this woman on his path.
He wants to give her what she wants which is to let go and he probably will if it means she'll be happy but right now it's just a tad bit difficult.
There were a lot of emotions involved.
"It's not that easy Livvie. I'm inlov--"
"Don't Fitz, please don't." Her eyes welled up.
"This is obviously difficult for you as well but even more so since you're the one getting married and not me."
"Let's just end it right now."
"Is that what you want?"
"Fitz.." Her voice broke. "What do you want me to say?"
He hated seeing her like this. Not being able to tell if she's more in a state of turmoil or remorse.
Whether he liked it or not, Olivia loved Tyler.
So maybe she loved him too but Tyler is the one she chose to be with. Tyler is the one she shares memories with and promised to marry.
"Okay." Fitz said almost in a whisper.
She stared at him as her tears started flowing freely.
He reached out and cupped her face. "I'm sorry for flipping your world upside down. I didn't think just how much my actions have affected you. You're the one that had to go home and face your fiancé with a quilty conscience. I was stupid to drag you into this sub reality where I thought we could be together even just for a little while without any complications. This decision shouldn't be so hard for me because you were never mine to begin with. That being said, I'm taking a step back and letting you go because you deserve to be happy. Go and get married Livvie and have the life you've always dreamed of."
Both of them were now in tears.
Something had to give. All those stolen moments they shared, where it seemed like nothing else mattered when they were together, simply wasn't enough.
So maybe it was set out that they had to cross paths in this lifetime. Maybe their souls were meant to dance for them to experience this otherworldly passion.
But now that dance has come to an end.
It wasn't meant to be. Not this time.
Or maybe they just weren't ready for each other just yet.
Fitz made the decision to let her go because of his love for her. All he wanted was for her to be happy and if that's being with Tyler than so be it.
But he knew one thing though. Had Olivia asked..he would've waited for her, for as long as he had to. He would've waited.
She didn't ask though and that hurt a little.
Again Fitz felt a wave of disappointment wash over him.
Disappointed that he allowed himself to feel things for a woman who was clearly unavailable.
Life was complicated and cruel.
Timing was a bitch.
He was now left with what if's and if only's.
"It's okay." Fitz said after their heartfelt embrace and wiped her tears away.
"Do I say goodbye now?" He chuckled faintly. Trying to lighten up the mood but it didn't work.
They stared in each other's eyes.
He was going to miss her. And she was going to miss him, even though she fought to admit it in order to stick by her decision to go ahead with the wedding.
Fitz pressed his lips to her forehead. He had his eyes closed as his lips lingered.
Her hands covered his which held her face.
Olivia pulled his hands from her face and kissed the inside of his palms.
Fitz gave her a sad smile.
"Goodbye Livvie."
"Bye Fitz."