I never thought I'd be speaking these words,
I never thought I'd need to say.
Another day alone is more than I can take.

Awful. God damn, bloody awful. Those were the only words James could use to describe what had been the month of November. He had become so accustomed to what it was like for Lily to be friendly with him. Sixth year had been a miracle, ending in a friendship. A true, honest to God friendship that he never thought he'd be lucky enough to come by.

Seventh year had been twice as good. He saw her every day. They talked. A lot. Sometimes, he felt like they talked more than he and Sirius did. He had been there for her through the troubles brought on by the war and she had rewarded him with dazzling smiles and happy 'good morning's and sweet, sleepy 'good night's and pats on the head when she thought he was being stupid.

He didn't know how he had managed through the first five years of school without her.

Sirius was a bit mad at him for it, as well. He liked having the fiery redhead around to bicker with and keep under a brotherly watch. Now that Lily was mad at James, she was mad at the both of them. Because really, was there much of a difference?

Answer: Yes.

Because Sirius was not a pansy like James. Sirius marched right up to Lily in the library, flopped into a chair next to her, and began playing with the fingers of her left hand as if it was an everyday occurrence. From the other side of the shelf, James watched Lily stare at Sirius curiously. If he had done that, she would have gotten up and left. Probably. Not that he knew.

"He's a bloody mess, you know," Sirius said airily to start a nonchalant conversation. James could have punched him for being so indelicate. He was not a mess.

Lily turned her hand up to let Sirius continue his ministrations more easily and pushed her book away.

"Did he send you over here to fight his battles for him?" she asked in a soft, even voice. Sirius laughed.

"As if. No, I'm just sick and tired of the both of you being too damn proud to get over this. He was right, though. You know…"

Lily yanked her hand away and shot Sirius an offended look. He sighed heavily and forced her hand back into his grasp.

"He was right to be angry. Let me finish, would you? It's not easy for someone so obsessed with you not to notice how hard this year's been for you."

James bit back a groan. Sure, Pads, go ahead and bring up the Lily-shrine that doesn't exist, too. He was not obsessed. Lily softened again, sinking further into her chair and idly moving her fingers with Sirius'.

"I'm just trying to be strong," she whispered. Sirius leaned his head to the side and hit it softly against hers.

"Being strong doesn't mean being fake. James notices things like that. He's like a girl- always looking for a deeper meaning and all that nonsense. But he's right. This is getting to you and it's only a matter of time before others notice, too."

James could see the resignation in her eyes. His pulse quickened with hope.

"It's hard, Sirius," Lily said still quietly. "People are dying. Students are getting hurt, even in Hogwarts. I've heard the teachers talking…"

Sirius turned his head and pressed a kiss into Lily's hair. "Stop thinking about that," he ordered. "Go find James. You'll both feel better."

James ducked down behind the shelf when he saw Lily stand up and gather her things. As soon as she passed through the library door, he jumped up, hugged Sirius, and ran for it. His knowledge of the secret passages was put to good use as he slipped through Hogwarts and up into the Head's dorm only a minute before Lily. Sitting on the couch, trying hard not to catch his breath, he looked up from the book he wasn't reading.

Lily paused in the doorway, dropping her bag onto the floor in an uncharacteristic show of untidiness. Slowly, she stepped out of her shoes and crossed the room to sit next to him on the couch- further than she used to but closer than she had all month. They sat in silence for a few moments, neither sure of how to go about restarting a friendship that had such a rocky background.

"Your books upside down," Lily broke the silence, face straight ahead. James focused on the words and notice that she was right. Well then…

Glancing to his left, he saw her cheek twitch in a hidden smile. He didn't bother trying to hide his grin. Something about the situation struck them as funny and yet neither knew why. James flipped his book purposefully and made a great show of crossing his legs, clearing his throat, and becoming very interested in it. A laugh broke from Lily's mouth, breaching the tension and easing them into something that had become far too important to the both of them.

Pages: 2
Words: 867
Song: Save Me
Notes: HUURRR I don't know…