~~~ A/N ~~~
English translations at the bottom.
When Ipo first heard that the war was over she, like many of the other Marines, didn't jump with joy and cheer like they were expected to. Some did, but the select few who couldn't believe it just sat quietly, trying to let the statement sink into their minds. The war was over. No more fighting. No more killing. Ipo sat on her cot, her hair that she had special permission grow out was tied in a knot and stuffed under a green regulation hat. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she stared down at the dirt beneath her boots, her mouth slightly parted. The war was over. The Japs surrendered.
"This calls for a fuckin' party." She heard Snafu say, muffled from the cigarette between his teeth.
"This can't be right." Ipo muttered to herself.
The tent was quiet for a bit before Eugene asked, "... Why?"
"Because... I don't feel better. I'm supposed to. By the time the war was done, I was supposed to feel better." Ipo stared down at her hands, expecting them to look different- smoother, maybe- all because she heard the words, "The war is over."
"... You ain't never gonna feel better, Ipo." Eugene told her. He didn't say it rudely, he just wanted her to know the truth. It wasn't like he believed it, either, but they were Marines and Marines did what they were told and they were told that the war was over.
Men began drinking the supply of alcohol like they were kakalina tanks. Smoking like chimneys. Ipo refused drinks time and time again. "Why don't you just have a little sip?" Burgin asked when they sat up on the rocks, looking up at the night sky and waiting for the fireworks that they said they were going to shoot off. Ipo didn't even know they had fireworks.
"I got drunk one time when I was fourteen." She said, "Did some fucked up shit. Never touched a drop since."
"What'd you do?" Snafu asked.
Ipo shook her head, "You don't want to know."
A warning was shouted before the firework was lit and it burst into the sky, popping into a bright red color. Ipo jumped a little, but she wasn't the only one. It was awkwardly quiet on the rock, so Snafu stood up, pointing to the night sky, "You see that? The line of stars anglin' up?"
"Yep." Burgin answered.
"That's Snafu's Pecker."
Ipo was about to make a sarcastic remark when their Lieutenant came stumbling up, "Hey, boys."
"You got a nice party goin' on down there, Lieutenant." Burgin said.
He pointed at the commotion with the bottle of alcohol, "A little victory party. Can't believe it's over. Sort of a... 'What do you do now?'" He must've wanted Second Squad to feel included. He handed the bottle to Eugene, "Here. Have a little VJ Day party of your own." Eugene handed it to Ipo, who handed it to Burgin.
"Thanks, Lieutenant." Burgin said, not forgetting his manners.
""What do we do now?"" Snafu muttered to himself, "What an idiot."
"Well," Burgin unscrewed the lid to the bottle, "I can show you what I'm doing now." He took a few long gulps.
"Careful." Ipo said as another flare went up into the sky, "You're going to fall off."
He took the bottle away from his mouth and had trouble swallowing, "Well, there it is. My first official act of peace time." He passed the bottle to Snafu.
"I can tell you what I'm going to do." Ipo said, "I'm going to go to yet another island that's infested with yet another branch of government and even more Japanese where I'm going to relieve my little brother- who absolutely hates me, by the way- of his duties as head of house." She didn't sound happy about it because she wasn't. Every time she thought about it she got a little queasy. Ipo would never be able to surf again without picturing the islands that share the same ocean or how many bodies were on them. How many were put there by her.
"I'm sure your brother doesn't hate you." Eugene told her, taking the pipe out of his mouth.
Ipo chuckled, wiping her forehead, "You should've seen the last letter he sent me." Ipo deepened her voice even more than she usually did to imitate her brother, "'I'm not saying it's your job, Ipo, but it is.' Blah, blah, blah."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Snafu said. He was staring at her, trying to convince her again.
She sighed deeply, "... Yes, I do."
Eugene patted her shoulder, "Well, if you ever get tired of it, you could always come to Mobile."
"Thanks, Shark Bait. I think I'll take that alcohol now."
Snafu happily held it out to her, but Eugene pushed it away, "Sorry, but for everyone's sake, I think it's best if you don't." Eugene didn't know what she did when she was younger, but he did know that she might let loose that some secrets. and he let her know that by the look he was giving her. Ipo gave a nod and looked back down at the party.
"You still going to do everything Sledgehammer tells you to?" Snafu asked. He was getting mad at Ipo. Angry that he didn't seem as devastated by the fact that they would never see each other again as Snafu was. Angry that Ipo didn't give a shit.
"Yeah." Ipo answered without hesitation. Everyone except Snafu thought that was pretty funny as they chuckled.
"Well, I got to go to the head." Burgin said, sliding off the rock.
"I just want to go to bed." Eugene stated, going with Burgin.
Ipo didn't want to be left alone with Snafu. Not right then. She was afraid that she was going to change her mind or that he was going to start shaking from desperation again. So, Ipo climbed off the rock as well, going to follow Eugene into the tent. She didn't make it two steps before her arm was grabbed and Snafu dragged her behind the rock, out of sight. He threw her against it a little roughly and didn't give her time to recover before he began kissing her. She tasted the alcohol on his breath and it mixed strangely with the tobacco he always tasted of. Snafu grabbed her waist and squeezed, leaving bruises before he tried grinding his erection against where she was supposed to have one. Ipo pushed him away a little, enjoying him so much, but she couldn't let him know. The war was over, but he still couldn't know.
Snafu gripped her wrists and slammed them on the rock next to her head as he kissed her neck, muttering, "I need to touch you. I just want to feel you."
"Merriell, no." Ipo said, trying to yank her hands out of his grip. It seemed like the alcohol made him a lot stronger. Snafu kissed her mouth, moaning a little. It made her relax some. It made her become distracted as he changed his hands so that only one was holding her wrists and the other went down, fumbling with her belt. Ipo was shocked away from him and she yanked her hands free, trying to shove him away, "Snafu, stop."
"I need you. I love you." He whined as he pushed her further into the rock. Ipo was in full-blown panic and she mustered all the strength she could to shove him away, sending him to the ground.
But not before he felt it.
He had shoved his hand down her pants and his middle finger slipped in between the lips that weren't supposed to be there and he felt the wetness within. With shaking fingers and a pounding heart, Ipo did her belt back up as Snafu stared down at his hand in confusion. She must have fumbled with her belt just long enough for him to realize what had happened. What she was.
"... You're a girl." Snafu said softly, not looking away from his hand.
Ipo gulped, breathing heavy as she said, "Please, Snafu-"
"You're a fucking girl?!" He barked at her, stumbling as he stood. Ipo didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say other than to beg him to not saying anything. The party was too loud on the other side of the rock for them to hear him practically scream, "This whole time? You- you were..." He gripped his hair, turning away.
Ipo took a step towards him, whispering, "Snafu-"
"You stay right fucking there!" He yelled, pointing at her. He was angry. Really, really enraged. She knew he would be. She knew it. "You fucking lied to me! This... This is a really big thing to not tell someone that you say you're in love with!"
"I couldn't, Merriell, you know that!" Ipo said before he interrupted her again. He had to understand.
Snafu walked quickly towards her, but she could back up any more into the rock, "Does Sledge know? I bet he fuckin' does. You two always share secrets, isn't that right?" He was right in her face, their noses almost touching. Snafu had fire in his eyes, too, and it was orange. She was actually afraid that he was going to hit her. "Do you know how much I hated myself?" He asked. He wasn't yelling any more, "I was disgusted with myself for how I felt about you, do you know that?"
"I'm sorry." She said, she was looking down. She wasn't sorry for not telling him. She wasn't sorry for doing what she had to. She was sorry that he didn't figure it out like Eugene did. She was sorry that he had to feel that way.
Snafu backed away from her, "You're sorry. I am, too. For wasting my fucking time with you."
He started to walk away, but Ipo had to retaliate, "Isn't this what you wanted?" She yelled at him, "I'm a girl. Congratulations, you're not a fucking queer!"
Snafu turned to look at her, "No. It's not what I fucking wanted." His voice cracked in the middle before he turned at walked out of sight.
Ipo felt like she was in shock, but her mind was going a mile a minute. He was going to turn her in. He wasn't going to love her any more. She was a lying waste of a person. She fell into the sand and dragged her knees to her chest, crying into them. Ipo was weak and she was pathetic, sitting there crying instead of chasing after him and making sure his mouth stayed shut.
Snafu just thought that if he had touched Ipo, made him- her- feel good, then he -she- wouldn't want to leave him. Ipo would want to stay with him and never leave, just like he wanted to be with him- her. Her. Her. Ipo was a her, a she, a girl, a woman. This whole time. They fought together like men, treated each other like men. Ipo had been so convincing. She looked like a she and sounded like a her, but she had acted like a man so well that all those other things didn't matter. Snafu didn't even think he actually knew Ipo. Was anything she said to him true? Or did he fall in love with some made up person?
If Snafu wasn't so angry, he would cry.
He didn't have any where else to go but inside the tent, where he saw Eugene lounging in his bunk, reading that book that he go out of the trash months ago like nothing just happened. Like Snafu's heart wasn't just ripped out and spit on. His anger flared and he stormed over to Eugene, who looked up just in time to say, "Hey, Snaf-" Before the Cajun grabbed Eugene's collar and began shaking him.
"Did you know?" He yelled into his face, "Did you fucking know?"
Eugene tried to push him off. He knew what Snafu was talking about. He don't know how it happened, whether Ipo told him now that the war was over or Snafu figured it out, but he was now in on it. Snafu saw that Eugene knew what he was talking about and he punched him hard on the cheek. Eugene shoved him off and stood, "That's enough, Snafu!" He yelled. Both of them were breathing heavily, Eugene with a swollen cut on his cheek.
Both of them were ready and prepared to fight, but Eugene pointed to the cot next to Snafu, not caring whose it was, "Sit. Down." Snafu contemplated for a moment on whether or not to charge at him again, but Eugene's expression made it seem like he would be ready for it and he would beat Snafu's ass. Snafu did what he was told, sitting so that his back was to Eugene. The redhead stood there for a minute, trying to get rid of his own anger. His guess was that Snafu wanted to hit someone and, since he couldn't hit girls, Eugene was the next best candidate. Although, he didn't know why. Snafu's hit her before and she was a girl then, as well. He didn't know she was, but Eugene didn't want to think about that because Eugene has hit her a lot of times and he's always known. He didn't want to feel like a bad guy.
Eugene sat down on the foot of the bed, his back facing Snafu. They were quiet for a long time, the only light source in the tent being the oil lamp by Eugene's bed. It was like a power play, both of them seeing who can sit in silence the longest.
"... Are you gonna tell?" Eugene spoke first, rubbing at the knuckle of his middle finger with his thumb.
It felt like an eternity before Snafu answered, "What's the point? War's over."
Eugene wasn't relieved, however. He was angry that Snafu just attacked him, "Where's Ipo?"
"Left him... her... at the rock." Saying it out loud felt like poison in his mouth.
"Him." Eugene said, "Ipo's a 'him' until we're clear of the Marines, understand?"
"How long have you known?"
"Ever since bootcamp. I figured it out."
Snafu looked at him, "Why didn't you say anything?" He wanted to know why, if Eugene knew and could've stopped Ipo from even coming there, he didn't turn her in.
Eugene sighed, "Because... I knew how bad it felt to want to fight, but you can't because of some stupid physical condition." Snafu was silent then and Eugene knew he had to go to Ipo. That's what friends were for. He stood, looking down at Snafu, "Know that it was for his own good that he didn't tell you." He couldn't bring himself to refer to her as a woman out loud, "And I will do absolutely anything for him. That includes making sure he never goes to prison." Eugene walked away, but was stopped by Snafu's words.
"Did he ever love me?"
Snafu sounded so broken, but Eugene couldn't answer him. It wasn't his place to. He just walked out of the tent to find Ipo. He didn't know that his lack of an answer would crush Snafu's soul because, to him, a lack of an answer meant 'no'.
Eugene had found Ipo exactly where Snafu said he left her. She was sitting in the sand on the beach, staring out at the tide as it ran away and came rushing back. It was too dark to see her face very clearly, but he thought it was puffy. She had been crying. She only did that when she was feeling completely gone. Eugene sat down next to her and they didn't speak to each other. He didn't know how long they were sitting there. They heard the party die down as the marines were ordered to get some shut-eye. It was only when Eugene thought that they were going to have a search party after them did he speak.
"He's not going to say anything."
"You know already?"
"He came in and punched me."
"Are you okay?" Ipo's voice was quiet and sounded a bit empty.
"Just wish you guys kept your domestics to yourself." It was meant to be a joke, but it was bad timing.
"Domestics?"
"Fights."
"Oh." They were quiet again for a moment before Ipo explained what happened. He tried not to feel angry at Snafu for not getting off of her when she told him to. Ipo didn't seem angry that he did that. It might've been because she was too saddened by the fight that came afterwards.
"He'll understand." Eugene said, "I'm sure of it. But, right now, we have to get back to the tent before we get in trouble."
Ipo wanted to refuse and bury herself under the sand, but Eugene was right. She stood up with his help and they went back to the tent. Ipo walked quickly passed Snafu's bunk like the lump under the blanket was going to shoot out at her like a monster under the bed. She laid on her side to face Eugene and pulled her blanket to her chin. She wasn't going to be able to sleep. Ipo was too busy thinking. She did love Snafu, of course she did. The way he made her feel was no lie. But, just because he told Eugene that he was going to keep it a secret doesn't mean he would.
The war was over, but the fight was not.
Ipo thought that when it was all done, they'd immediately take a ship back home and pretend it never happened. But, no. They were ordered to go to Peking, which was in China. She didn't understand why they had to. What was the point? They were fighters, not peace keepers. The good thing about Peking was that it wasn't an island and there wasn't any ocean for miles around. She never thought in her entire life that she'd want to be away from it. Ipo kept a memory in the forefront of her mind that she'd drift off to when she needed to be away.
"Why do you keep spacing out?" Eugene asked her one time while they were trying to play cards. It had been her turn for some time and he had to snap his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.
Ipo blinked, "... Just... remembering, is all."
"Remembering what?"
"Not important."
"I'm ordering you to tell me." Eugene had been promoted to Corporal, which meant that she wasn't the boss of him any more. In a literal sense, anyway. During the ceremony, Ipo had been loud and obnoxious, clapping and whooping before she was threatened with the brig.
Ipo sighed, rubbing at her tired eyes. She still wasn't sleeping well. Ipo muttered her answer, "Back on Kauaʻi, there's this waterfall. It's about a mile walk from my house. There's a rainbow. It... It only shows up really early in the morning so you have to leave my house at about three, but... It's worth it. Especially when you're there by yourself and the air is fresh and you can hear the birds and the water splashing into the loko- lake, the lake. It's very... peaceful."
Eugene listened quietly and politely, "Are you excited to go back?"
"... No."
Eugene knew how she felt. He didn't feel too great about the approaching discharge date. Being in Peking was strange enough. They went out with a liberty pass twice and it was weird to walk around with civilians who looked too much like the people that they were just slaughtering. It was unimaginable what it'd be like with citizens from Mobile. "... Me, neither." He had said.
Things with Snafu... It wasn't even remotely good. One day, they were all together, laughing and having a good time when Snafu suddenly stood and walked off. Burgin watched him go, shaking his head, "What's up with you two? Ever since the war ended, ya'll haven't even looked at each other. Did you break up or something?" Ipo stared at him before getting up as well and heading inside of the building they were housed in. There was this great hall that held all of their bunks and there was a bathroom with actual plumbing.
Burgin looked at Eugene, "I just put my foot in my mouth, didn't I?"
"Yep." Eugene answered.
Snafu and Ipo. Sore, sore, sore subject. Two days after the revealed secret, they were on a ship to mainland China. It was close quarters, but Snafu had still found a way to avoid her. Ipo saw the way his fists clenched every time he even heard her voice. He didn't talk to anyone. Not even to make sarcastic remarks. Everyone acted a little strangely after the war, so people thought that that was just his way of coping. Snafu still sat with Burgin, Eugene, and Ipo when he wasn't busy being by himself because he didn't have any other friends. Ipo tried to stay quiet when he was there, wanting him to feel like she didn't exist. She had tried, at first, to speak to him. To explain. Because he didn't seem to be understanding like Eugene said he would. It was when they had first gotten to Peking when she finally cornered him. He had went into the bathroom and Ipo waited a second before following him in.
He had been in the middle of undoing his pants when he looked up and saw it was her. Snafu rolled his eyes, zipping his pants back up and went to go around her when she blocked him. He backed away from her, hands raised in the air like her skin was made of acid. His gaze was on the floor as she said, "Snafu, we have to talk about it." He tried to walk around her, but she stepped in his way, placing her hands on his hips to make him stay.
Snafu grabbed her wrists and squeezed so hard that she thought her wrists were going to crack before he slammed her back into the wall. He looked like he was going to say something, but he let go instead, heading again for the door. Ipo needed him to understand. She need him to hug her and tell her it was okay. Ipo grabbed the back of Snafu's shirt and yanked him back, throwing him against the wall opposite of her, "You know I couldn't tell you!" She almost yelled. She had to say it before he tried to leave again because, if he did, she wouldn't stop him, "If you loved me like you said you did, you would've told and I would've been sent to prison. Don't say you wouldn't have because I know." Snafu stood there, looking down past her legs. "You can't hold that against me."
"What else did you lie about?" His voice was so quiet and he didn't even move a muscle, "I need to know."
Ipo stared at him for a moment. She had been preparing herself for a fight and she didn't expect him to sound so... broken. "... Okay." She nodded, stepping away from him, "Okay. Anything about me being a man, obviously. I do have a sister and a brother and my father really is in a madhouse and my mother was killed at Pearl Harbor and my name really is Ipo Kaheikekonikoni."
"Lies, Ipo." Snafu said. He hugged himself around the middle, "Tell me the lies."
She was beginning to feel panicky, "Um... Annalise! You remember Annalise? She didn't know about you and me. She knew that I was a girl and she really was blackmailing me into being with her."
Snafu squeezed his eyes shut. He had thought that his own career was in jeopardy. She let him feel that way.
Ipo continued, "I was going to tell Burgin that I was a girl, but he jumped to conclusions before I got the words out, so I let him think that I was a homosexual."
"Are you?" Snafu spat, "You had your fingers in Annalise pretty deep."
"I had to act like a God damn man, Merriell. You're telling me that you wouldn't have done the same?" Ipo paused for a second before saying, "And, yeah. I do sometimes... get attracted to women, but I'm not fucking gay and I really wasn't into that psychotic bitch."
"Oh my God." Snafu muttered, gripping the curls on his head.
Ipo gulped, "And..."
"Jesus fucking Christ, there's more?" Snafu stood away from the wall and began pacing in front of her.
"Just this last thing, I promise."
"Your promises don't mean shit." He snapped at her.
"Just shut the fuck up." She snapped back. She placed her hand on the top of her head, wanting to run her hand through her hair, but it was up in a short frizzy ponytail. She'd been getting a lot of shit for it, but she just keeps saying it's a cultural thing. Snafu stopped walking and stared at her, waiting for her to spit out the truth. But, her throat kept closing up, "... You remember... those bruises on my stomach." Snafu gave an impatient nod. Ipo's chest tightened and she stared at him. She needed to spit out the words or he'd never love her again. Her breathing quickened and she realized that she couldn't. She couldn't ever talk about it again. Ipo dropped her head, shaking it, her voice weak, "I can't. I'm sorry, I can't."
"Oh, fuck this." Snafu angrily went to the door.
"Merriell, I love you!"
But, it was too late. He was gone.
They didn't talk again after that. Eugene had offered to tell him for her, but she could see in his eyes that he didn't want to admit to what they'd done. She told him that she'd tell him when she was ready. If they even had enough time left together for that to happen. On New Years Eve, they all were offered Liberty Passes and were told that if not every single one of them were back by one, then they'd all spend a week in the brig. Ipo didn't want to go, but she thought of something that she wanted to get. Almost everyone went to bars to get shit-faced. The Chinese didn't have the same New Years as them. It was always on a different day. The Japanese in Hawaii always celebrated it and friends and neighbors were always invited. It was a sight to see.
"Why are we even out here?" Eugene muttered, trying not to bump into any of the civilians shopping at different markets or selling things from carts. There were children running around and laughing in the streets.
"To celebrate!" Burgin said, spreading his arms for some type of emphasis. Ipo and Eugene just stared at him, unimpressed. Snafu had ditched them at the first bar he saw. Burgin rose his eyebrows, "Are you two going to join me in this fine drinking establishment?" He pointed to the bar where most of the U.S. Marines were. Eugene and Ipo looked at each other before shaking their heads. Burgin chuckled, "You do realize that you guys are not actually attached at the hip, right?"
Ipo wrapped her arm around Eugene and pulled him into her side, "Are, too." Eugene had no problems shoving her away. They all laughed and the twins parted ways with Burgin.
Eugene immediately looked down at Ipo, "Seriously, why are we here? It's cold."
Ipo rolled her eyes and began walking, "I told you that you didn't have to come with me."
"And leave you out here on your own?"
Ipo stopped walking, almost making him run into her, and turned to him, "I'm safer on my own than you would be on yours."
He blinked, "Good point." Eugene thought that that was the reason, but he was sure it was because just being away from her for long periods of time felt weird. They'd been side by side for years now. He wondered what it'd be like when she was on Kauaʻi and he was in Alabama. He'd probably turn to say something to her or think of things he'd want to show her, but he wouldn't be able to do either of those things.
"Anyway," Ipo said as she began walking again, Eugene following, "I just... want to get a Christmas present. For Snafu."
"You're about five days late." Eugene informed her.
"Better late than never, right? I'm just running out of ideas on how to get him to stop... being a huge fucking asshole." Ipo said as she peaked in through the window of a shop to see the items inside.
Eugene chuckled, "I'm sure calling him that will have him running back into your arms in no time."
"It's just so... what's that word that means annoying and, uh, angry-ing?" She asked as she entered the shop.
Eugene blinked, "... Frustrating?"
"Yeah! That one."
The shop keeper loudly and happily greeted them, asking with a grin, "I help?"
Ipo smiled and shook her head while waving her hand a bit. She knew he didn't understand English, but she still said, "No, thank you." He smiled and nodded before doing what looked like his books for the store.
"You have to understand his side, too." Eugene said quietly as Ipo looked at a pyramid shaped display of different little knick-knacks.
"Really? Tell me, Shark Bait, what is his side?"
"The love of his life has lied to him about everything since they day they met." Eugene dead-panned, picking up a box that had a red flower painted on it and looking inside of it.
Ipo tried not to hang on the first five words of that sentence, "... Not everything. Not about who I am. Inside."
"Technically-"
"Shut up, Eugene." Ipo muttered before he could finish, walking over to the shelves lining the wall, "You want me to understand his side, but he's not understanding mine. He doesn't realize that-" Ipo stared down at a piece of jewelry that caught her eye.
"Realize what?" Eugene asked, looking up from the puzzle box he was trying to solve. He walked over as she picked up the ring and ran her thumb over the angry face of the Chinese Dragon that was carved in the front. The mouth shape and the angle of the eyes reminded her of her Pele tiki tattoo.
"Realize that, even though I love him, I am broken." She muttered more to herself than to her friend.
Eugene looked at the side of her face. She went somewhere in her mind at that moment and he knew where. He didn't know which, but he knew where. It was one of the many moments when her soul was fractured. He wasn't going to tell her that she wasn't broken because she was. All of them were. He looked at the ring, "... Is that the right one?"
"I think so." Ipo said, grinning up at Eugene like she hadn't just left, "I think I need to put it on a chain, though. I don't know how men are with rings. If he even accepts it. Maybe he'll throw it in the trash. Either way, he'll know that I'm trying... Right?" She was rambling. She was nervous.
"Hey, if a girl bought me a ring, I'd think she wanted to get married. I'd say that's trying."
Ipo stared at it a moment longer. Married? Did she want Snafu to think that? Did she want to think that? Ipo's eyebrows furrowed. She kept saying that she loved him, but did she love him enough to pledge her life to him? She would. Ipo would marry Snafu. Eugene casually referred to Ipo as the love of Snafu's life, but would he marry her?
She believed he would marry her. Or, he would've before... Before.
"Here's a chain." Eugene said, picking up a silver chain necklace that was hanging from a jewelry holder that looked like a woman's silhouette. Ipo snapped out of her thoughts and took the chain, slipping the ring onto it. They went up to the shopkeeper and Ipo smiled at him, placing the jewelry on the counter.
"Marine?" He asked. Ipo nodded. He smiled, "Free for Marine."
Ipo shook her head, "No-"
"Yes, yes!" He smiled, putting it into a small red paper bag and handing it to her before she could protest again. Ipo thanked him and shook his hand before they left the shop. It was dark out, almost midnight.
"You want to find him and give it to him?" Eugene asked as he looked at all the lanterns that lit up the cobblestone street and the closing shops that lined it.
"No way." Ipo said, "I'll slip it under his pillow or something like the Tooth Fairy." Like she did with the black stone that he still sometimes fingered inside his pocket.
"Pussy." Eugene said, "We don't have to be back for a couple of hours. You want to go look at the lake?"
"Do you?" She asked, already heading towards the lake that was in the middle of a park a couple streets away.
"Actually," Eugene said, following after her, "I never wanted to leave my cot. I'm already doing things I don't want to."
"Man, I wish you weren't such a crybaby." Ipo said.
"Me? I'm the crybaby?"
"Yeah."
They made it to the lake and Ipo sat down in the cold grass as Eugene searched for rocks to skip across the water. The stones made a 'tick'-'tick'-'bloop' noise to fill up the long lasting silence. It was comfortable and relaxing, the cold wind was a nice change of pace from insufferable heat that they suffered from for years.
"What the hell am I supposed to do when I get home?" Eugene asked. He was staring at the dark water, that unhappy look sinking into his eyes.
"You're going to go to college, become a doctor or something equally successful, and marry a beautiful girl who'll be happy to bear all of your children."
"... That sounds..."
"Too ordinary?"
"Yeah."
Ipo looked up at him, "Do what you love, man. Who cares what anyone else says? You've paid your debts. Did your duty. You need to take care of yourself."
Eugene scoffed, "You don't know my parents."
Ipo sighed, "Families..." They always got in the way. That was a terrible thought. She felt bad immediately and stood, "Can we go back now?"
"Finally, you have a good idea." Eugene said with a grin, looking down at his watch, "It's midnight. Happy New Year."
Ipo looked around. There was no one there. No one in this country cared about January First, "Wanna kiss?"
"What?" Eugene said with a laugh. Ipo jerked on the front of his shirt and connected their lips, awkwardly trying to dip him like men always did with women, but he was too tall and heavy, so she ended up dropping him on the ground. He landed hard on his back, letting out an 'oof' as Ipo stood above him, laughing.
"You bastard." Eugene said, sitting up on one of his elbows while rubbing the back of his head where there wasn't even a bump. He was just being dramatic. He was laughing, though. Ipo helped him up and Eugene dusted the grass off of his pants, "Snafu's going to kill me."
"What?" Ipo laughed as they started walking back to the barracks, "Why?"
"You just kissed me!" Eugene exclaimed like she had gone insane.
Ipo scrunched up her face in confusion, "But, you're my friend. You don't kiss your friends?"
Eugene shook his head, laughing in disbelief, "I guess I do now."
"Haven't you guys ever heard of Aloha? Jesus, maybe that's why everyone's beating on each other all the time."
"No offense, Ipo, but you are the one who always beats on people... the..." He had heard these noises coming from the alley they were passing and what he saw made him stop in his tracks. Ipo stopped next to him and looked to where he was looking. Ipo's lips parted as she watched Snafu rub his mouth against a local woman's feverishly while grinding against her. This wasn't friend kissing. This was...
Ipo closed her mouth and tensed her jaw, throwing down the gift she had gotten, accidentally hitting Eugene's foot, before she marched into the alley. Eugene didn't stop her. Ipo grabbed the back of his jacket and threw him down on the ground. He easily went down. He was drunk off of his ass. She punched him hard twice in the nose, feeling the satisfying cracking and the blood on her knuckles. He shouted out, covering his face as she stood up, breathing a little heavily. Ipo turned to the young Chinese woman, who had screamed at the sudden attack and was now cowering against the brick wall, and gently fixed her small jacket, situating it back over her shoulders.
"Have a nice night." Ipo told her before walking out of the alley, stepping right on the pretty red bag on her way to their building. Eugene watched as she started running until she was out of sight.
Eugene looked back into the alley as the woman crouched down next to Snafu, trying to help him, cooing at him. Snafu was up on his elbow, trying to stop the bleeding from his nose while staring at Eugene. The blood flow was heavier than usual because of all the liquor in his system.
Snafu looked up at the woman cradling him, wonder in his voice, "You're not Ipo?"
Eugene held out a handkerchief to Snafu before sitting down on the curb next to him. The Cajun took it and held it to his nose, tilting his head back as he spoke nasally, "I wondered why she was so pale."
"And wearing a dress?" Eugene asked and he put a cigarette in his mouth. He didn't really like cigarettes, but he left his pipe back at the barracks, where he should've been comforting an obviously very upset Ipo. But, Snafu had looked so confused and out of it that Eugene felt he needed sympathy.
"Ipo broke my nose. Again." Snafu tried to make it sound like that was the part of this whole situation that bothered him.
"If you'd just quit pissing him off, then-"
"We're. Not. Together." Snafu interrupted him almost angrily, "Not any more. I can kiss who I want."
"Yeah, you are." Eugene said. Them not being together was ridiculous.
"We're not!" Snafu snapped, wincing at the sharp pain, "I can't be with him- her. Ipo's a liar and I fuckin' hate liars."
"Is that why you hate yourself, then?"
"I hate myself because I thought I was in love with a man." Drunk Snafu couldn't really control what he let out of his mouth. He rose his eyebrows, "But, he's not a man. And he's still lying."
Eugene clenched his jaw for a second before putting out his cigarette, "... You're caught up on the bruises on his stomach."
Snafu's eyes slid to look at Eugene before he rolled them ,"Of course you know."
"Yeah, I know. Because I gave them to her." 'Her' jerked out of his mouth oddly. He'd only ever referred to Ipo as a him except in thought. It felt unnatural.
Snafu turned to him, disbelief on his face, "... Why would you do that?" He said it with a bit of sarcasm.
Eugene couldn't look at him, "She wanted me to."
Snafu didn't know if it was because he couldn't see straight, but Eugene looked like he was telling the truth, "Why would...?"
Eugene finally looked at Snafu, his bruised and bloody face forgotten by the wearer as it scrunched up in even more confusion. Eugene's eyes were steal, "I asked her if she wanted me to tell you and, you know... I'm glad she said no. Because I don't think I can ever say it. I don't even want to think about it. You need to know that the same goes for her. There's a good reason she can't tell you yet and you need to drop it. Forget about it." Eugene looked down at his watch. He had thirty minutes to get back to the barracks. He plucked up the red bag from beside him and held it out to Snafu, "She's been trying so hard to win you back. Here. It's a late Christmas present from her."
Eugene stood after Snafu took the bag and was staring down at it, mystified, "I'm going back now. Sober up before you come back." He walked away then, worried about what Ipo might think about him not immediately running after her.
Snafu cautiously opened the bag, Eugene's words that seemed too loud rattling through his head. He peeked at the tarnished silver thing at the bottom and reached in, taking it out. It was a ring on a chain. He squinted at the design of the ring, trying to blink away the blurriness to make it out. Snafu then laughed, grinning from ear to ear, "What's Pay-Lay doin' in China?" Besides being on Ipo's arm, anyway. The smile slowly slid from his face as he stared at it. He didn't feel like he messed up. Can't mess up what was already beyond fucked. Snafu understood. He understood that there were some things that were so bad that they could never be spoken of again. He knew he wouldn't say jack shit about the war to anyone.
But, when Ipo had those bruises, they were on Pavuvu. There weren't any enemies at home base. So, what happened? Snafu wished Ipo was with him at that moment to hold him and tell him that everything was alright because he felt like nothing was alright. He still had that nagging in his mind that Ipo was too good at lying. That he- she- was just playing with him because she could've been that type of person for all he knew. Snafu suddenly started sobbing, clutching the necklace to his chest as he buried his face into his knees. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't want to be with anyone. He didn't want to be in love. Snafu would've been happy to die alone. That was before Ipo.
Snafu almost wished that he would've been struck down before he knew so that he could go to his grave with the perfect idea of a person in his heart, but he never was that lucky.
When Ipo had arrived back at the barracks, it was hard for Burgin to not notice her breathing heavily and scrubbing blood off of her knuckles in the bathroom. "You didn't kill a local, did you?" He chuckled. He wasn't that smashed. Only a little tipsy.
"Shouldn't everyone be in bed right now?" Ipo muttered, drying her hands on her pants. Almost all of the men were back in the barracks and they were being loud, singing some songs of celebration that were born and raised on Mainland, U.S.A.
"It's New Years. I think they deserve a little fun."
Ipo turned to him. He was leaning against the door frame for support, "Then, do you mind if I find somewhere else to sleep for the night? I swear I'll be back by roll call. Although, I don't think half of these guys will even wake up from the reverie."
Burgin waved her off, "Sure, go ahead. Oh, where's Sledgehammer?"
"I don't know. We're not attached at the hip." Ipo walked passed him and gathered up her pillow and her blanket as Burgin laughed at her. Eugene was probably trying to escort Snafu back here. Out of all the times he could've been a good guy, now was not one. She bade a good night to Burgin before venturing out of the great hall. Technically, they were never allowed any where else in the building because it was public, but a lot of the Marines would sneak around anyway.
Ipo was not one of them.
She could've slept outside in the lawn, but it was January and it could snow at any moment. Ipo walked down the quiet wooded hallway floors, looking at all the doors that seemed to be offices. When's the last time she saw offices? When she enlisted? Ipo didn't think the tents of higher-ups counted as offices. At the end of the hall was a staircase that led to the second floor. She tilted her head while staring at it. It bewildered her, how she could stare up it and not see the floor above. It was a complete mystery up there. There was no map to tell her the layout. No awaited enemies. And, if she held her breath, she couldn't hear a single noise traveling down the wooden steps. No gunfire, no bombs, no loud humming birds with red dots on its feathers. No Eugene screaming about how nothing mattered but death. Out of everything that's happened, she didn't expect that to mess her up as much as it did.
Ipo stood on the first step, the wood creaking under her weight. No one knew where she was right now. She felt like if she went up there she would be hiding. Did she want to hide? Ipo went up the stairs diligently, her feet landing on beige carpet this time. That was poor designing. Ipo continued along the line of offices, her intentions set on the double doors at the end of the hall. She grabbed one of the brass door knobs and opened it. The only light that shined in through the windows revealed that it was either a very small library or a records room. Ipo waded through the book shelves to the very back wall, throwing her pillow down in the corner and laying down on it. She wrapped the blanket around her before turning to face the wall. Ipo hadn't had her back to an open area for a long time.
She wasn't going to cry. He mind could sear the image of Snafu groping that woman to the inside of her eyelids all it wanted, but she wasn't going to get sad. She wasn't going to get mad. She'd already hit him, she didn't need to do anything else. Ipo needed to accept the fact that they were officially done. Over. He's tired of her and wanted something easy. No offense to that woman, Ipo was sure that she just wanted to have a good time, as well. She just could've fucking done it with a different marine.
Don't get angry, don't get angry.
It just wasn't meant to be.
Eugene shook a passed-out Burgin's shoulder. Maybe he had a little too much to drink. The Squad Leader lazily jerked awake, "Japs?"
Eugene tensed his jaw, "War's over, Burgin. Where's Ipo?" He was very concerned that she had deserted.
Burgin looked over to Ipo's cot, confused before his eyes brightened, "We're loud." He slurred, "He went to sleep." He collapsed back down.
"Where?" Eugene stressed.
"Dunno. Went tha' way." Burgin flung out his arm, pointing at the door that the Marines weren't allowed to enter. Eugene stared at the door for a moment, wondering whether or not to leave her alone.
He decided to not leave her alone. He was just going to find her and check on her, is all. Eugene went through the doors and began searching every room he came across. He even looked out the window to see if she jumped out of it or something. Eugene didn't think she was suicidal, but she was a very temperamental person. He went up the stairs and he did the same sweep before finding her. Eugene stared down at Ipo, who was actually sleeping on the carpeted floor.
At least she wasn't a mess.
Eugene went to leave, but he really didn't want Ipo to think that he wasn't there for her when this devastating thing happened. He was real tired of being dragged into this mess. Hiding that she was a girl was one thing, but trying to help fix a relationship that shouldn't even exist in the first place was almost too much. It was all because of Ipo.
Fuck Ipo.
Eugene sat down in the corner opposite of her, sighing deeply but quietly. He fell asleep like that, with his head propped against the wall. He's been in more uncomfortable positions.
From what they learned after roll call that morning (which her and Eugene almost missed), Snafu was in the brig. He had stumbled in at around three when all of the men were passed out, apparently shouting for Ipo, saying that he needed to talk to her. Burgin put his bruised face together with Ipo's bloody fist and thought it'd be best to keep them separated. He would be let out later in the day and seem to not want to talk to her any more.
Ipo didn't want to talk to him, either.
Eugene wasn't going to tell Ipo that Snafu thought the local woman was her because he didn't know if that was just an excuse. And it wasn't his business. They needed to talk to each other for once and not put him in the middle of it. It was eerie, though. They stopped even looking in each other's directions. They used to occasionally do that. For a week straight, Ipo was in the makeshift boxing area beating up the Marines from the company that they were stationed with because no one from King wanted to look like Snafu.
They left on February Seventeenth, but the day before was the Chinese New Year. Most of everyone went out to enjoy the celebrations, but the fireworks started early and Eugene had broke down. He was curled on his side in his cot, crying hard. It's never easy seeing a friend like that; torn on the insides. Ipo got up and placed his head in her lap, just like she had done on Okinawa, but she sang this time. The entirety of Aloha ʻOe twice because that was how long it took him to calm down. She stayed with him until the fireworks stopped. Ipo thought that maybe she wasn't panicking every time a 'boom-pop' sounded was because there was someone else who was feeling that pain more than her and she needed to make sure they were okay. It was a mystery how those Marines who went out could be that close. It was a mystery how Snafu could be out there.
But, she wasn't supposed to worry about him any more.
~~~ A/N ~~~
Kakalina- Gasoline