Hi all, I really didn't mean for this single date to turn into three chapters by itself, but John and Joss had some things they really needed to discuss. The tail end of the date will be mentioned at the beginning of the next chapter, we'll see a little more of John's life and then we'll jump a few months into the future. We also learn a little more about their previous trip to Texas back when Finch was kidnapped.

Hope this one isn't too sappy. Thanks as always for reading and for the wonderful reviews of the previous chapter.

Chapter 6 –Revisiting the Past

Joss remained without movement for what felt like minutes as she processed John's words. "Did you just say you loved me?"

John smiled. "Yes."

"You love me?" Joss laughed. Though she laughed, it was clear she was irritated. "How can you say you love me? You left me for two months."

John remained silent. He simply watched her

"You can stop trying to read me, John. I'm ticked off. Two months,. You left me for two months….with barely a word or a phone call. I was alone. In a strange city. And I didn't know if you were coming back." Joss fought back tears. She was so angry, her face felt like it was on fire.

"I'm here now, Joss." He took her hand and squeezed it. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Joss sighed, "You say that now, but how can you be sure? John, you haven't lived the every day 9 to 5 life since you were practically a kid. And even then, you walked away from it."

"I didn't have you, then."

Joss squirmed uncomfortably on the sofa. She didn't want to hurt John's feelings, but she had to be honest. Their relationship had always been built on as much honesty as the other was willing to share. "I hate to remind you, but your most recent two month absence wasn't the first time you checked out of my life. Remember what happened after Rikers? How am I supposed to trust that it won't happen again?"

John took a deep breath. This was a conversation they should have had a long time ago. He wasn't sure where he should start. "Joss, Rikers scared me."

As Joss remembered John trapped in a bomb vest, she could feel the trail of a tear as it slipped down her face. Her voice cracked as she spoke, "It scared me, too."

John kept his physical distance. He was lost in the memories of that night and just before he went to Rikers. "It scared me because for the first time in years, I knew I had something…someone to lose."

Joss's eyes widened at the beginning of the revelation. "John, I…" Joss was interrupted when John placed a single finger over her lips.

"When I knew I was about to be arrested, I told Harold not to worry about me because I was happy. And I knew it wasn't just because of the work I was doing. It was because of you, Joss. And then when Finch told me all that you had done to rescue me, I convinced myself that maybe you felt the same way, even though you were dating Cal. I thought of telling you that night on the bridge, but then Donnelly showed up and everything you'd ever worked for was suddenly in jeopardy. And still, all you did was try to convince Donnelly that I was a good man."

"You are." She touched his cheek.

"I'm still not so sure." He kissed her palm and held onto her hand. "But that was when I knew you felt the same way. Then Kara almost got us both killed when she hit our SUV and killed Donnelly. When Kara took me, I wasn't sure if you were ok. I vowed that if you were ok, I would never do anything to put you in danger again. And yet, when I thought I was at the end of my life in that stupid bomb vest, there you were willing to risk your life to save me. So, I decided that the only way to keep you safe was to stay as far away from you as possible."

"And I got no say in it?" Joss felt herself growing angry until John squeezed her hand.

"It was stupid of me to think I could stay away from you. I tried everything: avoiding you, becoming more involved with Zoe. Nothing worked. Eventually, I figured out that I needed you in my life…and maybe as more than whatever we were, but by that time you were preoccupied with HR…and Ian Murphy."

Joss couldn't help but smile as she saw the green-eyed monster flare up in John's baby blues. "It was one date with Ian."

"And a pretty passionate kiss."

"You sound jealous." Joss chuckled.

"You sound like Shaw."

"Really?" Joss raised an eyebrow. "I've never been accused of that before."

John smiled. "The night she and I staked out your date with Ian, Shaw implied that I had feelings for you, but I certainly couldn't tell her anything, especially when I hadn't broken things off with Zoe."

And suddenly, the green-eyed monster visited Joss. "And when did you break things off with Zoe?"

"The night after Blur, when I walked her home."

Joss couldn't help smiling broadly as she remembered Zoe making a point of bragging that John was going to walk her home. She knew she shouldn't have cared at the time since she and John were only friends. Still, that night, she was jealous whether she admitted it or not.

"Why are you smiling, Joss?" John teased. "Were you jealous?"

"Maybe." She smiled again. It was her turn to squeeze his hand. "But are you sure you're ready for a boring life as a professor and a boyfriend?"

"Well, I'm hoping that one day, I'll get promoted to husband and stepdad."

Joss felt her heart begin to race. "One step at a time, Speedy. You're talking about marriage and this is only our second date."

"Let's just say I've got a good feeling about this."

"Oh you do, do you?" She giggled. "Now what can we do to keep you feeling good?"

Joss climbed across John and straddled him until she was sitting on his lap. She kissed his cheek, which allowed her to take in the musky scent of his after shave and a trace of baby powder. Then she brushed her lips against his again and again until he deepened the kiss. As their tongues became tangled in a frenzied dance, John's hand moved across the plane of Joss's back. Her hands moved from John's neck to his hair. The more John touched her, the more Joss felt things she hadn't felt in a very long time. John's hands found their way beneath Joss's sweater as his lips found their way to her neck. Joss's body felt on fire. When she heard herself moan, it occurred that one of them should be levelheaded and John didn't seem to be volunteering for the role.

"John, " she called his name, which barely elicited a hum from him. She thought of the obvious baby's room on the second floor and the implications of what could happen if they didn't slow things down. "John, we need to stop."

He pulled back to look at her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure we're ready for the next step."

John laughed, "I could take the next steps two at a time. "

Joss frowned. "That's what I'm worried about."

"Ok." He kissed each of her fingers. We can take things slowly."

"Thank you." She smiled. She looked at her watch. "Since we both have work in the morning, you should probably take me home."

"Or—" John said, pointedly.

"Or?"

"Or I can find you something more comfortable to sleep in and you can let me enjoy you waking up in my arms for the first time since Texas. I've got an eight o'clock class in the morning, so I can drop you off at your place in the morning with plenty of time for you to make it to work."

Texas. It was the trip neither of them ever talked about. Finch had been kidnapped and they had gone to look for him. Their fleabag motel had only had one room left when they checked in. John had offered to sleep in the bathtub but a mixture of guilt and compassion had prevented her from accepting his offer. So she told him he should share the bed. She'd even joked that if he didn't stay on his side of the bed, she'd shoot him.

It had been so long, at that time, since Joss had divorced Paul and shared her bed with anyone that she had forgotten how much of a snuggler she was. That is until she woke up with her arms and legs splayed across John Reese's torso while he drew lazy circles with his fingers near her shoulders.

As she awoke and realized what she had done, she sprang to her side of the bed. John laughed out loud and headed for the shower. It was the first time she'd heard him laugh in days. She waited for him to bring it up, but he never did.

This seemed to be the perfect time to remind them of how close they'd always been. "I'd love to stay…as long as you stay on your side of the bed."

Without missing a beat, John, replied, "I'm not the one who has trouble keeping my hands to myself, Jocelyn."

"Whatever. " She pulled herself up from the sofa. "I'm going to go get changed. Meet you in your room in 5?"

John nodded. As Joss began to climb the stairs, he called out to Joss. "Jocelyn, don't you want to know where I keep my pajamas?"

"I'll figure it out."

Joss used the opportunity alone in John's room to peruse his clothes. There were a few suits, some slacks, sweaters and shirts. After shuffling a few more hangers, Joss found what she was looking for.

John climbed the stairs and entered his bedroom. He almost tripped over his own feet when he saw Joss lying on his bed wearing only one of his "Man In The Suit" white shirts.

"How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself with you looking like that?" John eyed her hungrily.

"I thought keeping your hands to yourself wasn't a problem for you."

"Brat." He called out as he grabbed his pajamas bottoms and headed to his bathroom. As payback for her looking so ridiculously amazing, John decided to forgo his t-shirt.

When he entered the room, Joss swallowed hard. "Well-played, John. Well played."

John laughed and slid under the covers. He turned off the lights and immediately pulled Joss's body tightly against his, causing her to giggle. He took in the scent of her vanilla shampoo and began to stroke her hair.

"Good night Jocelyn."

"Good night, John." She kissed his arm that was wrapped around her shoulder. "I love you."

He kissed her forehead near her temple. "I love you, too."