Things didn't look good. Kaidan stared morosely at the reports in front of him, a migraine threatening to set in as he tried to work the new data into a plan to get them out of this mess. Over two months had passed since the Normandy had crash-landed on this godforsaken planet and the initial relief of having survived had been replaced by the realization that they were alone with no idea where they were and no way to communicate with Earth.

The fact that they had managed to survive the crash mostly intact never ceased to amaze him and it was a testament to the Normandy and Joker's abilities as a pilot that she hadn't broken up on impact. Joker had even been able to walk away with only a few fractures that were healing nicely thanks to Dr. Chakwas. Unfortunately not everyone had made it out alive. The crash had torn open a hole along the starboard side of the ship and Diana Allers had been caught under the twisted metal, killing her instantly. The surviving crew had given her a simple ceremony and her coffin now waited in the cargo hold to be taken back home to her family. Which, if the reports were accurate, was not something that was going to be happening anytime soon.

Sighing, he rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. They had already lost too many people in this damned war and it was now up to him to make sure they didn't lose more. The crew had been working tirelessly making repairs to the stricken ship but exhaustion was beginning to set in. EDI had assured them that the drive core was stable which gave them power and life support but with the thrusters and hull damaged getting the Normandy back into the air was a long shot. Landing in the middle of a jungle didn't exactly lend itself to repairing a prototype warship.

Shepard had put together one hell of a crew though. It was a skill that he had always admired and even envied. Talented people were drawn to her like moths to a flame, something about her making them all willing to follow her into hell itself. It was a feeling he knew all too well. Not for the first time he found himself wishing that Shepard was here with him. No matter what obstacles stood in her path she had always managed to find a way to succeed, even when it seemed impossible. Her belief in always being able to find a way was the hope that had driven them all forward for so long and now that hope was lacking. The familiar anger of having been forced to leave her behind on Earth mingled with the guilt of having abandoned her yet again when she needed him most. He had fought against the order but Hackett had given him no choice. If the look on Joker's face was any indication when they had made the desperate flight to the Citadel, he hadn't liked it any better.

Damn it all to hell! The datapads rattled on the desk as he slammed his fist down in frustration.

He took a steadying breath, bringing his temper back under tight control. Had she even made it out? He couldn't be sure and the thought that he might have lost her again was killing him. As the ranking Alliance officer on board Kaidan had taken over command of the Normandy and the crew but it felt wrong - this was her ship and these were her people. At least they had managed to successfully extract the Council and all things considered they were holding up remarkably well under the strain. Their political skills were completely useless out here but all three had lent their considerable intelligence to help where they could.

"Hey L2!" Vega strode out of the elevator to the CIC with lengths of cable slung over his shoulder, dumping them unceremoniously on the ground beside Traynor's workstation. "Found a way to get us off this rock and back in the air?"

"Not yet."

"Well Sparks and Scars are almost done repairing the engine core's shielding. EDI's working with Traynor to fix the comms and Esteban finally managed to get the shuttle running again so we can start scouting for some more supplies."

Well at least there was some good news. "Alright, we'll send a team out when they've finished with it."

Vega was quiet for a minute, staring at the space where the galaxy map should have been. Finally he turned back to Kaidan, clearly frustrated.

"We should never have left Shepard behind." It was a familiar argument between them and while they both agreed, Kaidan was not in any position to say so.

"We had no choice. The order came directly from Hackett."

"Kinda strange for him to ask us to leave the Commander behind like that, no? I mean he's the guy who told her to go and save the whole damn galaxy and then he asks us to just leave her when she's trying to do it? What kind of pendejo makes a call like that?"

He gritted his teeth, hating every word that was a reminder of the order he had never wanted to follow. "We had to get the Council off of the Citadel. The Normandy was the only ship fast and quiet enough to do that without alerting the Reapers and endangering the Crucible. Shepard had already gone through the beam."

"We still shouldn't have left her." Vega paused again, assessing. "She would have made it off though. Lola's one tough…"

"Just leave it alone Vega."

"Yea well I just thought, you know with how things were between the two of you, that you should know she'll have made it through alright. Lola's not going to let the Reapers take her out. Hell, she's probably waiting on Earth ready to tear Bones a new one for stealing her ship."

Kaidan forced a smile, wishing it were true. "Yea, she probably is." He didn't believe a word of it.