Disclaimer - i don't own
Jonathan was sitting in the car blinking excessively, in an attempt to make his eye feel better. He blinked again and he felt a bulging in his eye, which he assumed was a folded contact. He was right. So instead of trying to unfold the lens he abandoned the contacts all together, took out his glasses and put them on. Jonathan was about to go into the house when he started going on again.
"Let's just leave," Scarecrow said.
"What?" Jonathan asked.
"We're in the car let's just go."
"No I'm not doing that."
"So you want to spend some more time with the clown, look I'm getting sick of him."
"Good, then leave!" Jonathan yelled flinging his arms around as he spoke.
The whole time the Joker was staring out his bedroom window which was upstairs so he had a good view of the car, he was watching Jonathan.
"That's a weird one right there," Joker said pointing down at the car.
"Look," Jonathan said pointing, " Joker took the keys with him."
"Well how long do you intend to stick around here?"
"I'm not doing this right now," Jonathan said then he grabbed the movies and went into the house.
Joker's house was a perfect example of the statement "You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover." Because despite it's not so terrible outside the inside of the house was much worse. Food was everywhere, dishes were piled up in the sink, and the trash can was over flowing. Jonathan decided to ignore the mess and go find Joker.
Jonathan walked up the stairs and entered a hallway with four doors, he was unsure as to which one was the Joker's but then he looked closer at the door at the end of the hall. This door had 'My Room' carved into it, so he assumed that was Joker's room, and when he heard someone fumbling around the room his assumption was confirmed.
Jonathan walked right into Joker's room and immediately wished he hadn't. Joker was standing on his bed attempting to take his pants off, with much difficulty, he was pulling on his left pant leg when he fell down onto the bed then rolling off of it onto the floor.
"BOB SAGET!!" He yelled standing back up and ripping his pants down.
He looked up after removing his trousers and saw Jonathan.
"May I help you?" He asked kicking his pants completely off. Leaving him in nothing but his underwear and his incredibly cool socks.
"What are you doing?" Jonathan asked.
"What does it look like?" Joker said snapping the waistband of his boxers, "I'm changing my clothes, moron."
"Why, what was wrong with those clothes?"
"Those were my working clothes I have to change into my relaxation clothes."
Joker grabbed some clothes from various places in the room and went running behind a changing screen in the corner, wondering why but not questioning Jonathan stood waiting for Joker to finish. When Joker emerged from behind the screen he seemed to be wearing the same clothes that he had just taken off. Jonathan was going to call this to his attention but he figured there was some weird reasoning behind it.
"Come on I'll show you you're room," Joker said jumping out of the room.
Joker pushed open the door cautiously like something was going to jump out at them. Jonathan looked into his room and was disappointed, it was a girl's room, there wasn't much in it but you could tell. The blanket covering the mattress on the floor was pink, he could see into the closet and see girl's clothes hanging up, sort of preteen. The walls were pathetically painted pink, in the corner the were about ten thousand stuffed animals.
Jonathan turned to Joker, "Why?"
"Cause you're my bitch," Joker said happily.
"Well what about the other rooms what's in them?"
"One's a bathroom and the other's another kid's room."
"Boy or girl?"
"Boy."
"Then why?"
"Bitch," Joker said as he poked Jonathan's stomach.
Jonathan was laying in his room looking around at it when something caught his eye. He walked over to the old looking school desk and picked up what looked to be the shell of a book. He opened it up and discovered that all the pages were missing. Jonathan now wondering how this could have happened took the book and went to find Joker, suspecting that he had something to do with it.
He found Joker in the living room eating a giant bowl of chocolate pudding and watching Deal Or No Deal.
"Take the fucking deal you damn prick!" Joker yelled at the screen, flicking his spoon as he did, get pudding on the TV.
"Joker."
Joker was unfazed by Jonathan saying his name. So Jonathan risked his life and turned off the TV.
"Joker, what's this?" Jonathan said holding up what used to be a book.
"That is a book."
"No it's not, not anymore," Jonathan said opening it up showing Joker that there were no pages inside.
"So," Joker said standing up and putting his pudding on the coffee table.
"Well did you do this," Jonathan said looking toward the book.
"Yes I did and do you want to know why."
"That you be why I'm asking," Jonathan said, " Yes I do."
"First of all do you even know what book that is?"
Jonathan actually hadn't really read the cover so he closed the book and read it, "Twilight."
"Yes Twilight, a disgusting book that is why after reading two pages of it I began tearing the pages out one by one," Joker said.
Jonathan went to say something but was interrupted by Joker,"Then when I had gotten all the pages tore out I burned them."
"You burned them?" Jonathan said in disbelief,"Where?"
"Over there," Joker said pointing to the corner of the room.
Jonathan walked over to the corner and saw a big black circle on the carpet.
"Why?"
"It's such a stupid book, a sparkly vampire falls in love with a teenage girl," Joker said,"BULL SHIT!!"
Joker went back to his pudding and Jonathan was heading for the stairs when Joker yelled at him making him jump.
"Let's go get some drugs!!"
A/N - YES I AM A GREAT HATER OF TWILIGHT!! SO IF ANYONE HAS SEEN TOURETTES GUY (R.I.P) YOU'LL KNOW THAT'S WHERE I GOT THE BOB SAGET!! THING FROM. I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER THANKS FOR READING. NEXT CHAPTER'S GOING TO BE AWESOME JOKER AND JONATHAN ON DRUGS!
im-batman