Those Damn Kids!
Chapter 6: One must always pick on noobs.
...
A young America grabbed his tie from the top drawer of the dresser England had built for him. Wobbling slightly on the stool he'd had to use to reach the drawer, America jumped to the side, trying to prevent falling backwards. The back of this vest caught on a partially open drawer and the young colony found himself stuck a good foot off the floor. Startled, the boy kicked his feet in desperation, his panic increasing when he couldn't get free. "Iggy! Iggy!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.
"I'm coming, America." England's voice came from down the hall. America's panic began to subside as he heard the older nation's footsteps. "What is it…" England's voice trailed off as he entered the room and saw the colony's predicament.
"I'm stuck." America piped up helpfully, hoping the empire would quit staring already and get him down.
"Yes, I can see that." England's voice sounded strange, as though he were trying to hold back laughter. America scowled; he'd better not laugh.
After England had gotten him down, he asked the small boy, "What were you doing up there anyway?"
America presented his tie to his self-proclaimed big brother. "Can you put it on? I forgot how."
England couldn't help it and burst into laughter even as America shouted for him to stop.
…
The states hooted in laughter as their father pouted. "It wasn't that funny." He grumbled, crossing his arms defensively across his chest.
"Wow, that sounds like Iowa." Missouri said teasingly. "Remember the time you got stuck on the semi's door?"
Nebraska snickered, "And here I thought only you could get into situations like that."
"Hey, the way my day had been going, I knew I'd end up ripping my coat if I tried getting down on my own." Iowa said defensively. The boys only laughed harder.
"But if you ripped your coat, wouldn't that give you an excuse to get that pink Carhartt you have your eye on?" South Dakota asked.
Iowa just sniffed and ignored him. Brothers could be so annoying.
Minnesota asked, "Wasn't that the same day you took out the rafters in your barn with the combine?"
"Yes," Iowa grumbled, "And I also lost one of my shoes in the grain bin…" As the others started laughing again, she just threw up her hands and huffed. "You guys are so mean!"
England laughed along with the Americans, relaxed and enjoying himself for the time-being. It had been an interesting trip to town, to say the least. It had been quite appalling to learn that the only store in town that stocked his favourite Earl Grey tea was Wal-Mart (it didn't taste quite right either, not that he would be so callous as to say as much to his host). He was also surprised by the states bypassing McDonald's and going to Wendy's for lunch (much to America's displeasure, although he at least quit whinging about it after he received his burger). Upon their return, the states had promptly fixed the tractor, gotten the horses taken care of, and were now relaxing over supper and telling anecdotes, each trying to outdo the other (although it seemed that most of the stories revolved around Iowa, Missouri, and Nebraska).
After they finished supper, the girls shooed them off to the den while they cleaned up. England found himself once again sandwiched between America and one of the states, this time it was Nebraska. He watched in amusement as the states (and America) promptly started a Halo tournament. England had never seen anything quite like it – as they had six players (England still wasn't sure how they talked him into playing, though that might have had something to do with the sad puppy eyes that America had sent his way) and only four controllers per X-box 360, the states had hooked up a second X-box to another telly (that did explain why Iowa had two tellies in her den). He was a little surprised to find that they were all playing the same game until America explained that they were playing each other online.
England's happiness at being included quickly died as it seemed all the states had decided to target him, even though he was just learning how to play. The only good thing to come from this was that after America realised what was going on, he began protecting England. It was actually rather sweet of him, England thought.
"Dammit!" America exclaimed. "Would you stop targeting him already?"
The states just laughed. "Sorry, Dad." Nebraska smirked. "It's tradition to target noobs. You know that."
America scowled. "Is that why you insisted it be Nations vs. States?"
"'Course." South Dakota said matter-of-factly. "Otherwise, you'd probably wipe the floor with us."
America growled and pulled out his mobile. "Fine, if that's how you want to play."
"You can't call Tony!" Missouri quickly interjected. "It's still Nations vs. States."
America smirked as whomever he was calling answered. "Hey Mattie, got about an hour to kill? Yeah, me an' the kids are playing Halo. Yeah, Nations vs. States. Think you could help out?" The nation grinned as he heard his brother's reply. "Thanks, Matt. See you online!"
England watched, confused, as the states exchanged looks of horror. And, sure enough, as soon as Canada joined their team the tide began to turn.
…
The days just seemed to fly by and England found that even though the states had many chores around the farm (mostly filling in for Iowa as she was often needed in her capital, Des Moines – a silly French name – for one thing or another), they still found time to play games of all kinds, usually ones that required teams or some form of cooperation. It was now Christmas Eve, a night that England had never had any sort of company on before, and they were playing yet another team game.
"How come England's always on my team?" America whinged, his lips drawn into a childish pout.
The states just rolled their eyes and continued playing. But America was right, England realised. Whenever they divided into teams, America and he were always on the same team, usually by themselves. Well, England found he couldn't complain too much as it forced America and himself to cooperate, which was a rare feat indeed. Actually, it almost seemed as though the states were conspiring to make the two nations get along. Well, it was working for the most part, England thought with a blush on his face.
The game, and England's thoughts, was interrupted by America's mobile ringing. "Ah! Sorry, guys. It's my boss—" and that was as far as the tall nation got before his states erupted in a chorus of "What?" "It's Christmas!" "No!" and "Tell him to call back on the 26th!"
America just shook his head and left the room, leaving behind a group of angry states. "That jerk!" Iowa finally burst out. "What does he think he's doing? I can't believe I voted for that jerk!"
"Iowa, please." England said calmly. "Sometimes these things happen. I've had to work through many holidays myself. It's part of being a nation."
Missouri scowled. "It is really mean of him, considering Obama gave him the month off."
Minnesota just rolled his eyes at his siblings' chorus of "Yeah" and "Jerk." "And in a few days you'll be back to singing his praises."
"Will not!" Iowa proclaimed stubbornly.
The next morning England awoke to find that the bed was still missing an American. Scowling slightly, England made his way downstairs where he found the other nation working on his laptop, a large mug full of coffee beside him. "Did you even come to bed last night?" England growled irritably. He'd grown used to waking up in the same bed as the other blonde – that and he was always grouchy before his first cup of tea.
America glanced up from whatever he was working on. "No, sorry Iggy." He yawned and took a swig of his coffee. "There was an emergency Senate session last light. It didn't end until a few hours ago."
"An emergency session?" England blinked, "Whatever for?" Then the gentleman nation blanched, "Ah! You don't have to tell me. I mean, it's none of my business probably and—"
"It's okay, Iggy." America grinned as he cut the elder nation's rambling off. "The Senate voted on the Healthcare bill last night." He paused then added, "Well, actually they voted to quit amending it and to actually put it to vote."
England frowned, "In the middle of the night on Christmas Eve?" England couldn't help but wonder if it would really have mattered if they had waited a few more days to vote on it.
"Boss wanted it taken care of." America shrugged, apparently not too bothered by it.
Both nations were suddenly distracted by the sound of feet thundering down the stairs. "It's time for presents!" Missouri and Iowa shouted in unison, both states practically bouncing in place. It was the only time England had ever seen them anywhere near energetic before their first cup of coffee. Their siblings followed them down the stairs at a more sedate pace.
"Shouldn't we have breakfast first?" Kansas yawned. "I could certainly go for a cup of coffee."
"I just made a fresh pot an hour ago." America said; his blue eyes sparkled in amusement.
"What time did you get up?" North Dakota asked curiously.
"Ah, well…" America stammered and glanced away, obviously unwilling to answer the question.
"He didn't go to bed." England said helpfully.
"Dad!" All of the states shouted.
"Why would you stay up all night?" Minnesota exclaimed, worry filling his light blue eyes. "What did Obama need so badly that you had to stay up all night for?"
"President Obama." America corrected sternly. "And there was an emergency Senate session last night."
At those words, America found he now had seven worried pairs of eyes focused on him. "...Is everything alright?" Minnesota finally asked.
America laughed cheerfully, "Everything's fine, they just finally decided to leave the Healthcare Bill alone and put it up for vote. Personally, I'll be glad to have this whole mess behind me." The blond nation said optimistically. He had been worn out by the constant debate over the silly bill and was more than ready to be done with it.
The states all frowned and exchanged glances. "Did it pass?" Iowa demanded angrily.
America blinked, "The vote last night was to stop amending it and to have it put to final vote. I think they're planning on the final voting sometime this next week. The date's not official yet."
England watched as everyone relaxed marginally and decided to change the topic. After all, who wanted to discuss politics on Christmas? "Would you like some help making breakfast, Kansas?" He asked politely, knowing he'd be turned down. He'd also learned over the course of his visit that Kansas had de facto control over the kitchen.
Kansas blinked, "Hmm? Oh no. You needn't trouble yourself. We've got it covered." Without waiting for a response, she and North Dakota hurried into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.
The states looked like they wanted to continue grilling their father, but instead went for their morning gathering around the coffee pot. If there was one universal trait the Midwestern States had in common with their father it was that their day did not begin without a large dose of caffeine in some form - the preferred form of this being coffee.
...
A.N. I'm alive! I know it's been forever since I updated, but I recently noticed I had a few new reviews which gave me the necessary guilt trip to crank the rest of the chapter out. Thank you!
*Ducks and hides behind a door to avoid the angry mob with pitchforks*
This story was originally in '09, but somehow the "Great Healthcare Debate" worked its way in there which was in '10, so um... Meh! There were plenty of blizzards and ice storms last winter too. Although, I believe Detroit wasn't as bad off in '10 as they were in '09, but that's just a guess for me since we don't really hear news about Michigan very much. The vast majority of people here in Iowa (that I talked to anyway) were very much against the Healthcare Bill, which is why Iowa was so upset. Personally, I'm of two minds about it - there was a lot of unnecessary stuff in there, including new expenses that are going to be pushed off on the states which are already struggling financially, but I got an extra year of being on my parents' insurance (not that I've even used it this year). Okay, way too much political stuff there.
Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think!