I tried to walk away as quickly as I could. The thing with Mark though, he never gives up in trying to make my life a living Hell. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't outrun him.

"Hey fag!" He came up from behind me and shoved me against a locker. "You look at me when I talk to you!"

His breathe was horrible, his hair was sticking up in all directions, and he dared to treat me like a freak. I just stood there, defenseless once again. I always put up with this, but I was used to it. I just tried my best to keep calm and remember what was waiting for me at home; a warm bed, all the coffee I could drink, the comfort food I kept hidden in my closet.

"You starin' at something, freak?" He noticed me looking to my right, away from him.

"Just leave me alone please?" I whispered.

He laughed maliciously. "And why would I want to do that, huh? Oh, you think that you mean something? Fuck you, you don't mean anything. I bet there aint a face in this school that would miss you if you offed yourself."

I shook my head and spit in his face. He reached up to where my saliva had hit his head and pulled his fist back a moment later. It came back and collided with my nose, making the back of my head hit the locker I was pushed up against. A cold feeling went through my body, followed by a ringing in my ears.

"Don't you dare do that again, you freak!"

"You're an ass, Mark."

"Well at least I'm not a faggot freak like you! I bet your own mom don't love you. Who would love you?"

Tears were beginning to stream down my face. He let me go, but not before shoving me to the ground and spitting on me. He and his gang walked away, laughing. The truly sad thing about all this; nobody stopped to help. They never did, which was another thing I had gotten used to.

Another sad thing was that what he said was true. Well, at least most of it. I was a freak. Nobody would really miss me if I were to commit suicide.

I couldn't deal with this, or with anything that Mark had ever said to me. Not now at least. I found myself escaping to the boy's bathroom that was barely ever used. I did his daily. Sometimes I would come here to cry, and sometimes I would come here to do my dirty little secret.

Before your mind goes places, it's not what you think. Nothing sexual at all.

I took out the pencil sharpener that was never used for pencils with shaking hands. I had promised myself I would never do this again, but I guess I just didn't have the strength. I undid the screw and placed the small metal blade on the counter before locking the door and making sure nobody else was in the restroom.

Taking a deep breath I brought the blade across my arms, leaving gashes here and there.

Everything Mark and his group had ever said to me came back in a flash. They had insulted me, spit on me, even beat me until I could only crawl home. He had gone out of his way to try and make my life Hell, and did he succeed? Yeah.

After I had my fun I sat in the corner and relaxed a bit. The only thing I thought about in this time was Frank. What would he think about this? What would he say? What would he do?

An awful thought came into my head. Would he hate me?

But why would he? This was my choice. I felt like I needed this, just to get away. Other than that I don't know exactly why I do it. It just happens, it's an impulse.

That was how I felt when I had tried to kill myself, only worse. I wonder if I would succeed if I tried it again. I'm sick of thinking about how my mom or Mikey would react. All that does is just stop me and I don't want to be stopped this time.

But what if I chicken out? Or what if I something good is supposed to happen but I kill myself before it happens? What if Frank loves me?

But why would Frank love me in the first place? If anything, it was only a strong like. I don't even know exactly what I feel for him, but I know he wouldn't return the feelings. Who would?

Another bell rang and I just stayed where I was. It wouldn't hurt to miss another day. I'm sure nobody would even notice that I was gone. Not too long after the bell had sounded I heard a knock on the door.

"Gerard? I know you're in there man! Open up!" It was Mikey, demanding as ever.

I got up and moved slowly to the door, making no attempt to cover my arm. Mikey knew what I was capable of and what I had done. Slowly turning the knob I felt a stabbing pain in my arm. Guess I went in deeper than I had expected to.

Peering through the door, Mikey saw my arm and gasped. "Gerard Arthur Way! Why?" There was a tear beginning to form in his eye, but I didn't think too much of that. Not this time. I was only caring about me this time.

He slipped through the door, followed by Ray and Frank. I gasped and tried to cover my arm with the sleeve of my hoodie. It worked, thank god!

"Not now," I replied firmly. I think he understood what I had meant. I didn't want Frankie to think I was still cutting.

"No, now!" Okay so I guess I was wrong. He didn't understand. Thankfully the other two just sat on the floor on the opposite wall, not asking questions. They were watching, though.

"Well, I don't exactly want to explain it in front of others." I tried to stay calm. Maybe Mikey will understand and just drop it for later.

Frank interrupted. "We can leave, if you would like."

"No, Frank. That won't be necessary," replied Mikey. Damn him.

"Mikes, let's talk about it later, when we're not in front of them!" Please, please, please, I added in my head.

"No! He's going to find out sooner or later. So will Ray, so why don't we just get this over with, Gerard?" He half asked, half screamed at me.

"Okay, okay, fine! If it has to end your way, that I guess it will! Frankie-" I looked at him and paused.

He nodded encouragingly. "Yes, Gee?"

I couldn't say it. It would be too painful. Instead I simply lifted up my sleeve to show him the damage that had been done.

He gasped at my scarlet mess. "Why? Why Gerard?"

It was then that my mind decided it was time for me to shake uncontrollably, to sob, to wish that at this moment I truly did die. I felt ashamed and embarrassed for the way Frankie was looking at me now.

"B-but I did t-tell you the oth-other night!" I managed to choke out.

"Yeah, I guess you did…but I didn't think that you would do it again. The way that you said it, it sounded like you had stopped."

"I-I did but…" I trailed off. My uncontrollable shaking made me fall on the floor in sobs. Somebody's hands were suddenly rubbing my back. I didn't know who it was, but it felt good. It made me start to calm down.

I looked up and it was Frankie's hands that were on my back. It was also Frankie's face that was only centimeters from mine. He leaned in a little bit, making me taste his breathe, then put his lips to mine.

It took me a few seconds to get into the kiss. He whimpered until I did, but when I did he smiled into it. Okay, so maybe-just maybe- he could feel for me what I felt for him.

His lip ring was cool, which made the kiss even more satisfying. He started to moan into the kiss, making the others in the bathroom scoff. I pulled away from the kiss before they could leave. He gave me that irresistible puppy dog look.

"What?" I asked, pretty much breathless.

"Well, Gerard, I think you just kinda crushed him by breaking the kiss," mocked Mikey.

Frankie nodded a bit. The puppy dog look was still there, if not intensified.

I sighed. "I'm sorry Frankie."

He shrugged. "It's okay."

I smiled, then whispered so that nobody else could hear except for him. "I'm all yours tonight."

His face brightened. "Promise?"

"I swear."

Ray and Mikey, who were quite oblivious to our deal, were engaged in their own conversation on the opposite side of the bathroom. I crawled into Frank's lap, making him smile deeply.

"Hey, Gerard?" he asked after a minute.

"Yeah, Frankie?" I was beginning to get tired. It was comfortable, just sitting on his lap with him combing his fingers through my hair, even if it was on the bathroom floor.

"Will you tell me more about this-" he picked up my arm indicating what I had done.

"Tonight," I answered. "I'll tell you everything tonight."

"You promise."

"I swear. You ask anything and I'll answer. No limits."

He rested his chin on my shoulder. "Okay. I just don't…I don't want you to be in pain. I know what it's like. It sucks, a lot."

I nodded. "It does suck. I hate it. I hate it so much, but no matter how much I try to run from it all it has a way of coming back to me. Every time it comes back, it's always much worse than the last time."

I saw a teardrop land on my jeans and it wasn't mine. I heard Frankie sniffle.

"Aww, Frankie don't cry!" I turned around to face him.

"I'm sorry it just…" he trailed off looking to the right, away from my face.

I placed my hand on his face. "Hey, look at me. It will be okay. I'm actually better than I was a couple weeks ago. I'll be fine."

He looked towards me with new tears in his eyes. "What happened a couple weeks ago?"

I shook my head. "Tonight. I'll tell you, I promise. Just…just not now."

He nodded in agreement. "Okay. Tonight."

"Yeah," was all I said. I wiped a tear from his cheek and brought my lips to his, very lightly, then pulled away to look into his eyes.

Yep, I was going to tell him everything. By now I realized he probably wasn't a fake, and it seemed like he genuinely cared for me. So whatever he was going to ask me, I was going to tell him the truth, no holding back.

And that was a promise.

So sorry for the late update. I try to update every other day but school's been crazy and homework has been horrible. And all the drama is just...you understand right?

So please please please PLEASE review? It helps me write quicker, knowing if what I'm writing is good or plain horrible! Thanks for reading, lovelies!