The cannibal island is, and always will be, my fav of all the scenes in this movie. Well now that the Pearl is safe from the harmful kraken Jack decides to explore. Alexia nods and smiles but opts to stay onboard, for very good reason. So she waits to join up with Xio and Will and isn't he just so pleased to see her?

I Don't Pirates Of The Caribbean: DMC and I'm very sad about it.

After the Black Pearl had beached its self on the shore of Cannibal Island Jack set out to put together a shore party. Alexia sat on the railing as some of the crew jumped down to secure the Pearl. They were armed with big hammers and pegs to anchor the ship with.

"Ahh…" Jack took a deep breath "what a beautiful day for exploring. What say we take a walk gents?"

"Yeah, if you like being eaten alive. Well technically they roast you alive first but still it's the thought that counts." Alexia said nonchalantly, yo-yoing over the side of the Pearl. She had called Stan and thanks to his time traveling Marten she now had her favorite childhood yo-yo that lit up and made whirling noises. Jack gave her a look.

"What are you talking about luv?" He inquired but Alexia just smiled and blinked really slowly.

"So who's coming with? We'll of course need someone to watch over the ship so…" Jack searched the crowd for a raised hand but the crew was eager to get off the ship for a while. Alexia glanced around before raising her hand.

"I'll stay." She offered but Jack frowned.

"I was hoping we could walk together, there was this really nice meadow I spotted on our way in." He said sadly his bottom lip jutting out a foot.

"Oh please. You were hoping for more than a little amble in the woods. What would you have called it? To ravish me within an inch of my death." Alexia said in her best Jack voice. It sounded pretty realistic. Jack crossed his arm and exhaled angrily like a bull. Alexia could almost see those little smoke rings floating lazily through the air.

"Fine I didn't want you to come anyways." He huffed. Alexia jumped down from the railing and stood before Jack, eyebrow raised and at the ready.

"Yah right. We all know your traveling on that Egyptian river. You love me, you want me, and you can't have me." Alexia said in sing-songy voice, accompanied by a shimmy and a smug smile. The entire crew now stopped the watch twos clash of the Titans. On one side there was their strong and fateful Captain and on the other a spirited young lass who took names and kicked ass.

"No I don't. I want nothing to do with you." Jack argued. Alexia leaned forward and gave Jack a sickly heartbreaking smile.

"Come here sexy beastie." She beckoned seductively, licking her lips. When Jack leaned forward and reached for her Alexia leapt back punching the air triumphantly.

"HA! Told ya!" Alexia said with her arms up in the classic "WHAT?" pose. There was a buzz of hushed conversation and the occasional snicker.

"Damn it." Jack cursed turning on a heel and climbing down the side of his ship, his crew following him like a litter of sick puppies. Alexia ran to the railing and waved them off. She had show Jack up in front of his whole crew and she knew he would never let her live it down.

"Hahahahaaaaa." Alexia laughed at the thought of Jack trying to get even. She just took out her yo-yo again and tried for a Cat's Cradle.

"Where should we look first?" Will asked Xio as they climbed off a rickety ship that had managed to stay afloat long enough to drop them off at Tortuga.

"Depends. We're looking for a black dude with dreads. He's a shrimper and he'll know where the Pearl is. So I'd say the docks." Xio searched the surrounding docks for said person. Will gave her a sideways glance.

"Why are we looking for a black man with dreads, who's a shrimper?" He asked chewing on the inside of his cheek. Xio grabbed his hand and led him to the opposite dock, where she had spotted the man chatting with a crew member.

"Because I said so and stop that!" Xio slapped Will cheek, "That is a gross, disgusting habit that you need to break."

Will gave her a weak glare, she laughed.

"You need to work on that too, you couldn't scare a goat stiff with an umbrella. Anyhoo, we could start by asking everyone you want to. Let's see. I guess we'd start with the weather sailor who thinks Jack is dead and owes him four dubloons, then that half blind sailor who will say "sure as the tide Jack Sparrow will turn up in Singapore" which he won't, and then there are the two whores Jack hangs with, Giselle and Scarlett which believe me! I'm saving you from a slap to the facial area bubby boy." Xio ranted and then pushed Will forward to man sitting on some boxes and mending his shrimping nets. Will looked back at Xio. She nodded for him to approach the shrimper.

"I haven't got all day." She sighed angrily tapping her wrist where a watch would have been if she owned one.

"Excuse me sir. I was told you might know where to find Jack Sparrow." Will said in that gentlemen-y voice of his. Xio shifted her focus to the cargo being loaded aboard the out dated fishing vessel, which summed up to a bunch of bananas and a white goat with brown spots.

"Can't say about Jack Sparrow, but this island just south of the straits where I trade spice for…delicious long pork." The sailor licked his lips in remembrance to the long pork. Xio had the snap her fingers in his face to get him back.

"Cannot say about Jack. But you'll find that ship there. A ship with black sails." The sailor reassured. Will turned to Xio.

"We've got him!"

Will stood by the shrimper on his dinky fishing vessel. Xio sat on a goat, christened Daisy, beside them feeding Daisy a carrot she had found in the hull and scratching her behind the ear.

"You are adorable. I wish I could keep you!" Xio cooed patting the goat on her head. The goat baaed in approval. The shrimper was peering through his spyglass to make sure the Pearl had not left the island left.

"My brother will take you two ashore." The shrimper shut his spyglass and turned to Will.

"Thank you for this." Will thanked the man gratefully by taking one of the man's hands in both of his and shaking vigorously.

"How much for the goat?" Xio asked curiously. The man gave her an odd look.

"Tis nothin' but an animal Miss. Why do you want it?" He asked baffled at the young ladies request.

"Cause SHE is cute as a button and I want her." Xio gave the man a dazzling smile which could have passed as sinister as well.

"I'd say… three dubloons for it." The man mulled the price over in his head while Xio laughed.

"Of course kind sir." She leaned in towards Will.

"Have you got three dubloons you could lend me?" She asked with her grade A puppy dog pout fully equipped with trembling bottom lip and glassy eyes. Will broke down and handed her the money.

"Thank you." Xio said sweetly passing the money to the man.

"Now get that goat loaded onto the longboat. She's coming with me!"

The shrimper's brother rowing the two and their new goat to shore did so quietly and mumbling to himself. Xio and Daisy shared a look.

"He's two eggs short of a crepe, if you know what I mean." Xio commented, leaning back in her seat. Amazingly Daisy nodded as if she understood. When the brother-man stopped rowing their longboat Xio glared at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked reaching over Daisy and taking Will's pistol secretly. Will looked at the man, puzzled as well as to why he had stopped.

"What's wrong, the beach is right there?" He gestured to the beach over his shoulder.

"Ne bougeais pas, c'set beaucoup trop dangereaux." He babbled on in what Xio thought was French.

"What?" Will asked trying to understand the man but Xio pulled her pistol out and pointed it directly in his face.

"Keep going." She growled. The brother had no choice but to continue rowing all the way the beach, even though the waves threatened to tip their boat. When Will and Xio climbed off the boat, Daisy in tow, the brother pushed off.

"Bon voyage, monsieur." He nodded to Will and gave Xio an ugly look. Xio flipped him a universal hand sign before turning to the Pearl.

"Let's see if we can find Jack, or Alexia. Maybe she stayed behind." Xio thought aloud, unaware that she was scratching Daisy behind her ear again. Will almost had a heart attack.

"Alexia's here!?" He asked gaping at Xio. He got his answer when he caught sight of Alexia swinging towards him on a rope from the Pearl.

"Banzai!" She laughed before she let go of her rope and went flying into Will. She hit him square in the chest, knocking him off his feet and back onto the sand.

"Gnarly wipe out dude." Alexia beamed down at him from her seat on his waist.

"Will! I've missed you like you wouldn't believe!" Alexia squealed bending down and crushing Will with one of her bear hugs.

"Alexia was that really necessary?" Xio asked walking up crossing her arms and shaking at her head. Alexia sat up back on her haunches and gave her sister a look.

"Is anything I ever do really necessary?" She asked rolling her eyes and getting up. She offered Will her hand. He was smiling like a fool and had a blush that turned his whole face bright pinkish red.

"Oh I get it. You're just jealous cause you didn't get one. Come here you wonderful sister you!" Alexia reached out her arms to hug Xio but she backed away.

"No, I'm good thanks!" She said but Alexia did not stop advancing on her.

"Look I got a goat." Xio said pointing the goat hoping it would distract Alexia from her hugged regime. She sighed happily when Alexia "oooed!" and went off to pet the goat.

"Awww, bitchin'. Xio this is so rad! You are so cute. Look at your eyes. They're so big. Yes they are. Yes they are!" Alexia said in baby talk, Daisy shrugged and enjoyed her petting.

"Come on. We'll put her on the ship and then go and find Jack. He and the crew went for an amble in the woods."

After securing Daisy to the Pearl's mast with a rope leash Will and Xio followed Alexia into the jungle.

"They went this a way." Alexia explained marching like a soldier from Swan Lake. Will walking closely beside her, still smiling. He was the first to notice Cotton's parrot.

"Ah, another familiar face." Will walked up to the parrot while Xio grabbed Alexia's arm and pulled her back.

"Watch it Xio. I just got that arm the way I like it, attached to my body." She complained but the look on Xio's face told her the stop.

"What have I done now? Because if this is about that time Chelsea and I stole that set of plastic lawn deer cause we totally put them back before Mrs. Finch even saw they was missing." She asked in a bored tone, dusting off her white shorts. Xio rolled her eyes at those days of childish lawn ornament snatching.

"No this is about how Will called off his wedding because he still likes you." Xio whispered persistently. Alexia's jaw dropped open.

"You gotta be joshin' me Xio. No flippin' way he did that!" She exclaimed over-dramatically. Both girls turned when they heard the snapping of tree limbs and Will shouting from some point beyond them.

"Help!"

Alexia and Xio raced forward to find Will hanging upside down from a rope tied around his foot. Xio slapped a hand to her head.

"God Will! Rule No. 1. Never leave our side!" Xio yelled as the cannibal's surrounded them. Will pulled out his sword and started swing it to hit the cannibals wooden spears.

"Jesus Christ! Don't be a kook Will you almost had my head off. Shoot that thing already!" Alexia shouted to the cannibal with the dart blower. She and Xio crouched down so the cannibal had a perfect shot of Will's neck. Once the poison dart was embedded into his flesh his body fell limp. Xio and Alexia cheered but stopped when the cannibals turned to them.

"What a dweed." Alexia sighed.

"Uhh… we are here for cheifie wefie." Xio tried but the cannibals just stared at her.

"Alexia." Xio whined nervously hiding behind her sister as the cannibals advanced on them, "you're up."

"Alright. Alexia and Xio." Alexia gestured to herself and Xio, a cannibal nodded.

"Hen tu." He said.

"Wekie seekie un chief, god! Un chief hen tu fai fai." Alexia said as clearly as if she were speaking English. Xio looked from her to the cannibal she was addressing. He rubbed his chin and nodded.

"Chief god hen ouh fai fai. Jah heed." The cannibal beckoned the girls to follow him. Alexia smiled and dragged a stunned Xio along with her.

"How did you do that?" She asked, very impressed by her sister but Alexia shrugged.

"You just gotta speak their language." She said breezily. Xio nodded.

"Mmhmm. Mmhmm. You had no idea what you were talking about, did you?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Haven't the foggiest." Alexia shook her head trailing behind the cannibals who were currently tying a very unconscious Will to a roasting stick, a bit like a side of meat really.

"Kali kali ten dah dah!" The lead canninbal announced to his Chief, which was Jack with even more crazy make up on, as the group trooped into the villiage. Alexia punched Will in the leg to wake him up.

"Tough love." Xio snickered and Alexia punched her in the leg too so it went dead. Xio wobbled for a minute before toppling over.

"Jack?" Will asked still groggy from the dart.

"Yes it's Jack." Xio struggled to keep balance with her dead leg; she had to hold onto Alexia shoulder to stand. Jack rose from his chair and poked Will's shoulder.

"Pah se ko?" Jack addressed the cannibal dubbed ko.

"Teen dada, eeseetis." The village agreed with ko.

"Eeseetis."

"Pah se?" Jack asked nodding toward the two girls.

"Thes seekie chief fo ouh fai fai. Tu fai fai chief god. Thes seekie tu."Ko nodded though Jack did not seem to understand.

"Kele lam. Nom piki piki, nom minsi winsi." Will stared at Jack in a confused manner until he approached his backside. Alexia made loud retching noises while Xio laughed uncontrollably.

"They are so gay sometimes." Alexia snorted and set Xio off again.

"Lam seisei, eunichi. Snip snip." Jack mimed scissors for effect and the cannibals all ahhed with understanding.

"Eunichi." They all nodded. As Jack walked back to his throne Will noticed his compass swing from his belt.

"Jack, the compass, it's all I need. We were all arrested for trying to help you. We face the gallows. The girls included!" Will shouted desperately. Jack stopped in his tracks and glanced over at Alexia. She was laughing at Xio's impression of Sean Connery.

"I am Sean Connery and I approve my friend Bear Grills' show because we both know how to stand the cold. I was here for the ice age you know. And you used to have to walk barefoot in the snow for miles. But I did it because I liked the pain." Xio said in a British accent and stroking her fake mustache she had made by gathering her hair into pig tails and tying them over her upper lip. Alexia doubled over in tear jerking laughter.

"Seiserom shup shup sha smame mame shuku, savvy? Maliki liki." Jack waved for the cannibals to take Will, Alexia, and Xio away.

"Maliki liki! Maliki liki!" The crowd cheered. Jack bent down to Will and whispered "save me" before turning on a heel. Xio elbowed Alexia in the ribs.

"It's time for plan "wanna hock a luge"." Xio she whispered out of the corner of her mouth. Alexia nodded and pulled out some crazy make up and leaves. They quickly donned on their disguises. Will raised his eyebrows at them.

"What are you doing?" He asked wanting to go with them but the girls were making no move to free him.

"We'll meet you at the great big birdcage in the sky okay?" Alexia put a finger to her lips to hush anymore questions Will had. She then had a mini stroke and starting laughing like a crazy woman.

"GOD! I'm am so stoked!" Alexia shouted before dancing along with the tribe members around her.

"Boom shoukoo! Boom shoukoo!" Xio and Alexia kept yelling as they backed up slowly and melted in the crowd. When Jack looked up the girls had disappeared into the jungle.

You'll be seeing more of the Sean Connery and Bear Grills jokes. It's all we gals talk about now. It all started in one of Xio's classes. Some kid can do all these character voices which are really funny since he made Sean and Bear talk to each. He can also do Peter and Stewie from Family Guy. Weird though, since it means he talks to himself…

Reviews are niiiiiiccceeeeeeee… (drools a bit) Excellent.