Chapter Six: Akihiko

I sat alone on the edge outside my hotel room's window, next to the red lit 'Chambres a la Journee' sign. I rested my head on the giant flickering 'h'. The prickling cold air of the night slightly stung my face, but I was too engrossed in thoughts of him to care.

I can't believe I told him I fell in love with him…What was I thinking? Why do I want to see him again so badly? I love Takahiro, damn it!...him…I love him…right? YES! I DO! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING? I know what I'm thinking, I'm thinking of Misaki. And I can't get him off of my mind. Oh God…I don't even understand my own feelings.

I'm incredibly perplexed. How the hell can this man I've only known for a night make me feel like this? I couldn't have already gotten over Takahiro…it hasn't even been that long since I was sitting on my couch like a lug, grieving over his marriage. I don't understand how all of a sudden, saying that I still love Takahiro feels wrong on my tongue, in my heart.

Biting my bottom lip, I moved my vision to the window of the huge elephant where all this confusion started. Only height, a windmill, and a narrow street separated us. He's still in there…probably sleeping…I wonder if he's as frustrated and confused as me…or if he's even thinking about me…

There they are; thoughts of him again. I don't want to love someone else. I'm supposed to always love Takahiro. I swore to myself that I would, even if we could never be together as more than friends. But it's becoming so incredibly difficult to keep a grasp on the emotional devotion I have…had?…for him. Now there's Misaki, this young man I scarcely know, yet I can't seem to keep my mind's attention from wandering towards him. He's just another pretty face, thinking that made me feel like the biggest liar. And it scares me to think that he might be more than that to me. I've always focused my full-hearted attention on Takahiro. I don't know what it's like to want, to need somebody else. I'm trying to make myself believe that Takahiro is still the only one for me. Each thought of Misaki is making it so much harder. Why is my conscience starting to revolve around him? What makes him so special? He cried for me; blatantly that. No one has ever cried for me, or even been able to see through my fake expressions. I thought I had them down packed by now. There's much more to the naiveté foreshadowed by this gorgeous man. He can see through me, unlike anyone. Maybe I'm not as alone as I thought I was.

Groaning in frustration, I moved a tense hand over my face. I stayed in that position, unmoving, for what seemed like decades. Too numb to move. I don't remember falling asleep on the cool concrete of the old balcony, all I can recall is the now redundant name circling my brain; Misaki.

This boy will be the death of what I thought were my beliefs.

A/N: Yeah I know it's like really friggin' short! But it had to be...I didn't want to drag his feelings on for too long, or it would have become boring and redundant, y'know? Welp, anywhooo, I'll have another chapter up soon! So review this one and tell me what you think :D Remember, your opinions DO matter!

Also, just in case you guys are tad confused, Akihiko has no idea Misaki is Takahiro's brother and Misaki has no idea Akihiko is Takahiro's friend...that is all! And with that I bid you fare winds~