Chapter 6: The Revenge of Ron Burgundy
Chapter 5 recap: We started off with Bart Simpson entering and an ensuing fight between him and Dan resulted in the elimination of Ray Stantz. Austin Moon was out next and his fangirls drove JBL up a wall. We ended with Ron Burgundy being jumped by Kent Brockman, resulting in Burgundy's swift elimination at the hands of Danny Tanner.
Ron was livid at his elimination. He wanted to take his anger out on Kent, but he was far gone at this point. So, he decided to take his fury out on the man who eliminated him: Danny Tanner. He saw that Danny had some help escaping elimination earlier. So, he decided to take that help out in retaliation. He threw up the ring apron and searched for that help. He found it, but clearly had some trouble getting it out.
Micheal: What is Ron doing?
JBL: I don't know, Micheal. You need to stop asking me these questions. You act like I know what goes on in these people's heads.
Ron was finally able to drag what had helped Danny out earlier, causing the crowd to boo the thing, or should I say, the person who helped Danny out.
Micheal: Tha-that's Joey Gladstone from "Full House"! He was under the ring!
Jerry: And if I didn't know better, I'd say that he was the one who helped Danny out earlier!
JBL: Oh great, Joey's here too? Who's next, Uncle Jesse?!
As Danny shouted at Ron, he was double teamed by Austin and Dan, who threw Danny over the top rope, eliminating him!
Jerry: Well, there goes Tanner.
JBL: Yeah! Go back to your Full House, you loser!
8th elimination: Danny Tanner
Time lasted: 7:12
Eliminated by: Austin Moon and Dan
As Danny, Joey and Ron were forced to leave ringside, the clock went to :10.
Micheal: Who'll be next?
JBL: Once again, I don't know! Stop asking me!
(Crowd chants: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!)
[beeeeeeeeeeeeep!]
Entry 13: Dez Wade (Austin and Ally)
The crowd let out a collective groan (even the Austin Moon fangirls) as Austin Moon's best friend emerged, wearing a yellow jacket, green t-shirt, orange suspenders, purple pants and orange sneakers.
JBL: Oh great! We already got rid of one goofy redhead! Who is this colorblind doofus?!
Micheal: That's Dez Wade, best friends with Austin Moon. Dez's dream is to become a world-famous movie director.
JBL: Well, if his film work is as good as his fashion sense, then I'm guessing he won't be the next Spielberg.
Dan ran at Dez as soon as he entered the ring. Panicking, Dez pulled the top rope down, sending Dan crashing down to the floor, eliminating him!
Micheal: Oh my gosh! Dan jus got eliminated!
JBL: How the hell did that goofball eliminate someone like Dan?!
Jerry: I'm willing to bet that Dan won't be pleased by that!
9th elimination: Dan
Time lasted: 6:11
Eliminated by: Dez Wade
Dan was infuriated! He tried to rush the ring, but was restrained by the refs. So, Dan got on his knees and shouted:
Dan: DEZ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!
While Dan stormed to the back, Dez and Austin teamed up against Bart, flattening him with a double neckbreaker. The two then picked Bart up and lifted him over the top rope, eliminating the fifth grader!
Micheal: There goes Bart!
Jerry: At least he lasted longer than Millhouse would've.
10th elimination: Bart Simpson
Time lasted: 5:22
Eliminated by: Austin Moon and Dez Wade
As Bart limped to the back, the two boys turned their attention to Maddie. They picked her up and dumped Maddie over the top rope, but Rooney held on. She recovered, knocked both boys back with punches, climbed up on the top rope and connected with a diving crossbody onto the two! While the three laid in the ring, the clock went to :10.
(Crowd chants: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!)
[beeeeeeeeeeeeep!]
Entry 14: Paul Blart (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)
The crowd cheered as the mall cop emerged, wearing his security uniform, riding his Segway down to the ring.
Jerry: Here comes Paul Blart from the comedy movie, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop". Can he outlast the others to win?
JBL: Shouldn't he be guarding a mall rather than trying to win? Crime doesn't take a holiday!
Paul parked his Segway on the side of the ring and rolled inside. He quickly caught Dez with a spinebuster and hit a Death Valley driver on Austin!
JBL: Shouldn't he be using these moves on criminals and not on popstars and dweebs?!
Micheal: Well, one time, Austin did once accidentally steal the silver slippers from "The Wizard of Oz". You see-
JBL: Shut up, Cole! I don't want a history lesson on this show!
Paul is making quite the impact here so far! Let's look at the stats:
In the Ring: Maddie Rooney, Austin Moon, Dez Wade, Paul Blart
Chapter eliminations: Danny Tanner, Dan, Austin Moon
Longest lasted: Maddie Rooney (15:15)
Shortest: Ron Burgundy (0:05)
Entries left: 26
Will Dan get his revenge on Dez? Will Paul use his police skills to win? Leave your thoughts in the comment section and I'll see you next chapter!