Chapter 6: A broken down Lorelai…
Luke took his foot of the gas when he realized how fast he was going; it wouldn't help the situation if he got into a car crash as well.
Car crash… it was finally beginning to hit him. Lorelai had been in a car crash. He'd known her for over eight years; she'd had many 'almost' car crashes, but never an actual car crash. His mind tried to wrap over the thought of a smashed taillight or broken side mirror, but all he could think about what a five-car pile up, bodies and blood everywhere.
Shaking his head he tried to erase the mental imagine.
Lorelai was fine. She'd called him. That meant something, didn't it? She was able to talk just fine. He heard her crying, but he hoped that was because of Paul Anka and not from the pain she was in. Not that he wanted her to be crying over the loss of her dog, but that would be better then in pain, right?
Luke straightened his baseball cap and cleared his throat. For the first time since his father had died, he found himself praying for the well being of a close friend and ex-fiancée. It wasn't that he actually believed in a higher being, he wasn't sure; he'd never taken the time to really think about it. But if there was such a person as God, he prayed that he would keep Lorelai safe until she could be found.
Luke jerked his car to a stop, turning his head to the right he felt as though God had answered his prayers. There, as if out of nowhere, he saw an old, abandoned looking road, surrounded by trees – exactly how Lorelai had described it. He could feel a tear slide down his unshaved cheek. Tears of relief? He sat, just staring at the road for a good minute before he quickly turned onto it, feeling for the first time that day that everything was going to be fine. He wasn't sure how he knew exactly, he just… felt it.
He drove ever so slowly down the wet road, scanning back and forth, making sure he didn't miss anything. He didn't know where to look – had she gone into the forest? Or had she slid off the road and hit a tree? He picked up his cell phone, about to call Lorelai again when he saw something that made him drop it.
It was dark, but he could see the outline of her jeep, wrapped around a tree. As his headlights shined on the scene, he saw scattered glass everywhere, and there, in the midst of all the commotion, sat/slouched Lorelai, against the front left tire.
As he pulled over to the side of the road, several feet away from the scene of the accident, he unbuckled his seatbelt.
His heart began to beat faster then ever as he jumped out of the vehicle. Running towards Lorelai's side; he immediately took in the sight of blood on her forehead. Her eyes were closed, her face was pale and she looked as if she was struggling for breath.
"Lorelai!" He shouted as he dropped to her side, shaking her shoulders which seemed ice cold against his once warm and dry hands. "Lorelai! Can you hear me? Come on, wake up!" He felt himself panic when she didn't open her eyes immediately. Was there a chance…? She couldn't be… reaching over he picked up her hand, trying to find a pulse. She groaned. "Lorelai?" Looking back up at her face he noticed her wince.
It took a moment before her eyelashes fluttered open. Her watery eyes made it impossible to see clearly, she jumped instinctively as someone touched her hand. Pulling it away she and awkwardly wrapped it around herself. Blinking the tears back she managed to clear up her vision. "L-Luke?" She stuttered, as if not sure he was actually there or if she was having hallucinations from her head injury.
Luke let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding; the smallest smile crept over his face.
"I'm here, Lorelai, I'm here." He assured, pushing a piece of her wet hair out of her face. "I'm here…" the happy moment only lasted a second, before realization struck him. "Lorelai, what's hurting? You head? Did you break any bones?" He looked over her once again, noticing several cuts and scratches, but nothing that seemed too serious, except for the gash above her temple.
Lorelai swallowed. "I… I…" she couldn't manage to get the words out. "I don't know," she finally cried. "I don't anything anymore." Her shoulders shook and she lowered her head, letting the tears come.
It practically broke his heart seeing her like that; she was such a strong woman, seeing her like this wasn't easy. "Lorelai…" he started, not sure what to say to the hysterical woman. Reaching his arm out, he touched her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Lorelai finally threw herself at him. Her body suddenly wracked by full-blown sobbing, she buried her face in his flannel shirt as she cried. Luke slipped his arm protectively around her. "It's okay," he soothed. "Let it out."
And let it out she did, she wailed trying to fend off a fresh wave of tears, she knew she was doing herself and no one any good by crying her eyes out, but she couldn't stop them. Lorelai's arm snuck around his shoulders, ignoring the pain, she buried her face against his neck until she couldn't even muster up the energy to cry anymore
Luke rubbed her back in a comforting way as she cried, he waited until she stopped before he pushed her away slightly, and looking at her face his eyes froze on the bloody gash. "You okay?"
Panicking, Lorelai's bloodshot eyes flew wide open as she tried to pull herself back into a sitting position. "I'm… I'm sorry," she muttered, wiping away her tears with the bottom of her soaked sleeve. "I didn't mean to…" swallowing she looked away, embarrassed.
"Lorelai?" Luke asked gently, not sure what had startled her. "What…?"
Lorelai just gazed up at him, blue eyes still bright and shiny with yet unshed tears. "I'm sorry," she apologized once again. "I'm really sorry, I uh, I don't know what I was thinking, calling you, throwing myself on you…" Wrapping her arms around her cold slim body, she winced, but quickly tried to hide it with a sniffle.
Luke caught the wince, but decided to ignore it at the moment. "What are you talking about?" He demanded. "Don't feel bad about calling me; you can call me whenever you need to. It's okay." He touched her face and pulled it took look at him. "We're friends. I'm here for you, whenever you need it, okay?"
Lorelai didn't respond, she simply stared at the ground beneath her, watching the raindrops splattered against the dirt.
"Okay," Luke said a moment later, his voice not hiding how confused he was. "I'm going to call an ambulance."
"No," Lorelai muttered quietly, shaking her head. "I'm good… I'm um, I'm okay." Looking up at the man before her she knew he wasn't buying it. "Really, I'm fine. I'll be all right, I just… I just need some sleep, I'll be fine."
"You are not fine." Luke insisted, slowly standing up he glanced back at his truck, where he'd stupidly left his phone. "I'll be right back." He gestured towards his truck. "You gonna to be okay?"
Lorelai didn't respond. Lowering her head back to the ground she sneezed then sniffled. She wasn't one who normally gave up in a fight, not that this was a fight, but she knew this time she didn't have a chance of escaping the hospital. Not that she could blame him. If she knew anyone in the same position, she would have done the same and insisted they see a doctor.
"Okay," Luke said uncomfortably. "I'll be right back." And with that he was off, leaving Lorelai alone in the rain once again…
Lorelai stiffened as he left, feeling the all-alone numbness come over her once again. Memories of the nightmare that was reality slowly trickling back into her bleary mind. Though the day seemed to drag on while she was living it, when she thought back she could have sworn it'd only been an hour since she woke up and had started the nightmare.
She barely looked up when she heard Luke slam his truck's door shut, before he hurried back over to her, dropping down on the ground next to her; he just sat there, not saying a word. Secretly she was relieved. She didn't want to talk. She didn't feel like talking, but yet, she had so much on her mind.
"They'll be here soon."
Lorelai nodded slowly, her eyes not moving from her place on the ground.
"So…" Luke started uncomfortably. "You wanna talk about it?"
Lorelai shook her head.
"Are you hurting?"
Again, another head shake.
Luke sighed uncomfortably. Reaching into his jacket pocket his slowly pulled out the bag from the mini mart. Fishing around for the twizzlers, he slowly handed them over to her, hoping it would cheer her up.
Lorelai looked up as a package was placed into her hands. She stared at the candy for a long minute, before the smallest smile spread across her face and tears filled her eyes. She looked up at her ex-fiancée, her sad smile growing wider as her eyes met his. Swallowing she turned back to the candy. "Why are you so good?" She asked quietly.
The question caught him off guard. "What?"
Lorelai felt another sob threatening to escape her. "Why are you so good?" She repeated her voice cracking. "You've always been so good to me – so good to everyone. You're always there for me…" The sob escaped. "You're always good, no matter what happens, you're there. You're always there, you know who you are, and you'll always be you. I don't know who I am anymore. Everything's so screwed up and I don't know how to fix it. I'm not the kind of girl who just curls up and cries if something happens, or at least I didn't used to be…"
Luke stared at the woman, stunned by her behavior. "Lorelai," he said, trying to calm her down, he moved over, wrapping his arms around her. "It's going to be okay, you need to calm down."
But Lorelai wouldn't be contained. Her voice grew louder, more hysterical, as she fought her way out of Luke's embrace, not even turning to look at him as she continued on. "Now it's like an addiction – lately that's all I do when something goes wrong. It's like… I'm stuck in this game that everyone keeps winning and I keep getting sent back to the beginning. It- it's like I'm stuck in this time zone, everyone's growing older and moving on with their lives, getting married, having kids. They're moving on with their lives while I'm stuck, suffocating, screwing up mine and everyone else's!"
"Lorelai…" Luke started again; maybe he should have bought Kleenex instead of twizzlers…
"I screwed up your life." Lorelai said bluntly. "I screwed up my parent's, Chris, Max, everyone! And it's too late to fix them all. I'm just stuck screwing up. Everything I do something bad happens. It's getting tiring! I hate it! I hate my screwed up life! Nothing I can ever do will ever fix it, it's too late." Lorelai wiped away her tears, like a broken faucet, they wouldn't go away. She couldn't believe she was letting her feelings out, to Luke no less, but she didn't care if he heard her anymore, she was sick of feeling this way.
Lorelai could feel her emotions getting the better of her, running untamed, washing over her and burying all her reservations like a landslide. And the words she's kept inside for so long rushed out of her like a flood, furious and unstoppable. But she didn't even attempt to stop; she had to let it all out.
Before Luke could chime in his opinion, Lorelai continued.
"I lost everyone," she muttered softly, managing to hold back yet, another threatening sob. "Everyone."
Luke reached over, touching her shoulder protectively he said. "You didn't lose anyone."
"I lost you." She said, sniffling back tears.
There was a brief pause before Luke replied: "You didn't lose me, Lorelai. Even if you wanted to, even if you had that little heart of yours dead set on it, you couldn't. I will always be here for you."
Lorelai managed to look up at him, her eyes glistening with tears, she blinked. "I know," she said quietly, her voice full of surprise. She didn't know how she knew that. She didn't know why he would ever say that. But deep down, she knew it to be true. Luke would always be there when she needed him, always, no matter how badly she'd treated him, or he her. "I know."
Squeezing her shoulder gently he nodded. "Good."
Lorelai found herself leaning towards him; laying her head down on his shoulders she knew everything was going to be just fine. Slowly, Lorelai opened her package of mini twizzlers, as she held it up to her face, she smiled. "You brought me candy," she said in a small voice.
Luke smiled back. "Yeah, I did."
Lorelai just stared at the piece in her hands, she didn't feel like eating it, not to mention now that it was covered in rain and was completely soaked it probably wouldn't taste so good, she just liked looking at it. Luke had voluntarily bought her candy with no comments about how it would shave years off her life… how could she have let this guy go?
Luke glanced down the road, anxiously waiting for the ambulance to arrive. As he did the coldness of the night was beginning to sink in. He hadn't realized how cold it was. Maybe because he had been so worried about Lorelai, or too busy trying to comfort her, whatever the reason, he almost wished it would come back and take the cold away.
Turning to the woman next to him, he noticed her staring. "Hey,"
"Hey."
He wasn't sure what else to say, wrapping his arm around her shoulders he let out a small sigh. "Damn cold nights…"
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I'm really sorry about any and all of the mistakes in this chapter. My sister, AKA my beta, is mad at me for posting a super cute picture of her… so I have no beta for the moment. Hopefully she'll come around after much bribing and if not, well then you're stuck with me. Blame it on Morgann, not me!!! (Well, I guess partly me because I wrote this chapter and posted the picture…)
I appreciate any constructive criticism! Oh, and please review! ;)
