OKAY ANOTHER PREFACE!

This chapter takes place on the ship, basically right after the Dressrosa arc ends. Now. I am 1000% aware that this can't happen, nor does it happen in the actual story line.

But let us pretend for the sake of a fanfiction! Ha ha.

Sorry.

(K but lemme just- MFG SANJI BB LIKE WOW OKAY ODA JUST SHOOT US THROUGH OUR HEARTS SURE)

(But also dem plot twists and dat character development doe)

(Okay I'm done)

(I applaud you if you read all of this lol)

(Follow, favorite, and comment plez! I love you all!)

Huh?

Zoro turned around and looked at the small den den mushi.

He still didn't get why he took it.

The snail was making the strange noise it always did when the other end was trying to make a call.

Zoro closed his eye, trying to go back to sleep. As if he'd answer a call from the Navy.

Only an idiot would do something like th-

"Hello?"

Zoro's eye shot open and he turned towards the den den mushi, only to see that his captain had somehow come out of nowhere and picked up the call.

Oh that's right. There existed such idiot.

He lunged for the snail to take it away from him but froze once the other end began to talk.

"Hello? Zephyr? Zephyr?"

Zoro's throat went dry. No way.

"Huh? Zephyr? Who's that? My name is Mon-"

Luffy was cut off when Zoro resumed his lunge, knocking him down.

"Oi! Zoro! What're you-" he was cut off once again: Zoro had clamped his hand over Luffy's mouth.

The other end went silent. Suddenly, the snail gave off a very loud sound, suggesting that the person had dropped the receiver.

A faint "eh?" could be heard on the other line.

Luffy wiggled out of Zoro's grasp and yelled, "GET OFF OF ME!" to which Zoro yelled back, "SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW THAT I HAVE HER DAMN DEN DEN MUSHI!"

The other end made a hiccup like noise.

"R-Roronoa Zoro?!"

Luffy slowed his wiggling.

"Zoro, do you know who that is?"

Zoro clenched his jaw, a vein popping up on his forehead.

"NO! Now get the hell out of here!" he yelled while all but throwing Luffy out the door.

The room was silent except for Zoro's ragged breathing from his struggle with Luffy. He looked down at the den den mushi on the ground and sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"You alive?" he asked.

The other end remained silent.

"Oi. Copycat."

"...Yes. May I ask why you have Zephyr's den den mushi?"

"I dunno. It was on the ground somewhere and I heard it ring so I picked it up. But then I got seen by some people looking to kill me and I guess I never let go of it."

"Where is Zephyr?"

"I don't know who this Zephyr is."

Tashigi was silent.

"He wasn't anywhere near this den den mushi?"

"No."

"No sign of him at all? No injured bodies lying near it?"

"No."

"Then he should be fine, right?" she asked, her voice shaking. Zoro paused.

"Oi are you crying?"

"...no."

"Liar."

"...he's been missing ever since we landed at Dressrosa."

"That doesn't mean he's dead. I get lost all the time."

Tashigi tried not to laugh.

"I thought you were unaware of your terrible sense of direction."

"Yeah, well when so many people yell about it in your face all the time, you're kind of forced to accept it."

This time, she failed her attempt at not laughing, and let out a small and short chuckle. Zoro stopped, taken aback. He was about to say something when Sanji burst into the room. Zoro stared at him in annoyance and shock.

"OI YOU SHITTY MARIMO! HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME YOU WERE TALKING TO A WOMAN! HOW DO YOU KNOW HER? WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE-" Sanji stopped mid sentence when Zoro attacked him, trying to forcefully push him out of the doorway. At that moment, Brook popped up.

"YO HO HO! Zoro I hear you're talking to a lady! Excuse me, may I see your pant-" he stopped when Zoro stuck a foot in his face. To make it worse, Nami also poked her head through the door.

"ZORO! LUFFY TELLS ME YOU'RE TALKING WITH SOMEONE FROM THE NAVY! DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!"

Zoro looked at her helplessly, unable to block off her mouth.

"nAVY?! I'm with Nami on this one! Are you tRYING to get caught?!" Usopp yelled from the doorway.

"EHH?! NAVY?! HOW DID YOU GET A DEN DEN MUSHI FROM THE NAVY?!" Chopper called out.

"I hear you're having a talk with a woman! Did you get lost again and meet her by chance?" Franky asked, his blue hair visible from the doorway as well.

"A woman from the Navy? Captain Tashigi, correct? You were spending an awfully large amount of time with her back at Punk Hazard." Robin stated calmly. Everyone turned to look at her, then at the den den mushi. Zoro froze, and then whipped his head towards the snail receiver.

"DON'T ANSWER!" he yelled. The line stayed quiet.

"SO IT IS!" the rest replied in unison. They all began to yell their own opinions and Zoro watched in disbelief. The sound of a door opening sounded from the other end.

"Oi."

"Ah, S-Smoker-san!"

The entire crew went dead silent.

"What is all that noise?"

"Um, I was just having a conversation on the den den mushi. A….very loud one."

"...Well tell whoever you're talking to to pipe down."

"Yes, sir."

Zoro, seeing a chance in the silence, pushed all the members out at once and slammed the door shut, locking it tightly. He huffed, running his hand through his hair and sitting down.

Silence ensued.

"...Sorry," Zoro finally said.

"Er, is it always like that?"

"Yeah."

"...I see."

"Hey-"

"What am I doing?"

"What?"

"I'm having a discussion on my den den mushi with a pirate."

Zoro paused, opening his mouth to say something, but ended up shutting his mouth and staying silent.

"I should not be doing this. You are a pirate, but…." Tashigi's voice trailed off.

"But what?"

"N-nothing! Nothing at all. You are a pirate and we should not be having this conversation."

"...Good point."

Tashigi paused on the other end.

"Goodbye."

"Yeah."

Zoro listened to the click of Tashigi's receiver, the line cutting off. He ran his hand through his hair. Why was it always her? No matter where he went, there seemed to be no way to escape her.

He huffed, vigorously shaking his head for a moment. Whatever. He was starting to get a headache.