~Chapter 5- Cait Sith Gets Suspicious~
Some Very Big Trouble: One afternoon, as was her habit, Yuffie was reading a good book and brushing her hair. Things were fine, business as usual- until Cait Sith walked in (and did so without knocking first)!
"What's up?" asked Cait Sith, making herself as comfortable as possible on the girl's tiny, scratchy, bug-infested bed of broom straws.
"The usual, Mother," said Yuffie. "Reading and brushing."
"Reading about what, child?" Cait Sith asked rather casually.
"The usual, Mother," said Yuffie, "science and mathematics."
"Science and mathematics?" said Cait Sith. "Nothing biological?"
"Am I missing something here?" asked Yuffie (as if this poor girl hadn't like been missing almost everything there since birth).
"Boys!" said Cait Sith
"Boys?" said Yuffie. Because this was the very first time she had even said this word, it sounded sort of like bays or boos.
"Boys! Teenage boys!" screamed Cait Sith. "Sniffling, burping, saying funny words, drinking everything possible and spitting up-teenage boys! You get the illustration?"
Of course, Yuffie did get the illustration. Although she never had seen a boy, she had seen illustrations of boys in her anatomy textbooks.
"What are you suggesting, Mother?" asked Yuffie.
"Oh, nothing much," said Cait Sith, "I mean, nothing much other than, the very first chance you get, you'll leave me to run off and get married to a prince. Or a frog. Maybe some kinda clown, or-"
"-No, Mother," protested Yuffie, on the verge of serious tears because her feelings were really, really hurt. She even began to sniffle.
Cait Sith offered a hankie but-remember those extremely dirty fingernails?- Yuffie politely declined. And then she said: "I've never even seen a real boy. Even had I seen one, you know that I would never run off and get married! After all, I'm only 15 years old and far too smart to do anything so stupid. Don't you understand?"
"Hey, what's not to understand? Pack up all your dresses."
"All?" said Yuffie. "But Mother, I have only one dress."
"Whatever," said Cait Sith.
"You are such a mother!" said Yuffie.
"Thank you, dear," cackled Cait Sith. "Now get packing."
And so it came to pass that within five minutes, max, the beautiful young damsel was locked away in a tall tower deep in The King's Forest.
Yuffie's room was sort of like a penthouse-only this penthouse didn't have an elevator, much less stairs leading up to it. Once inside-if, that is, one somehow got inside-a visitor would see nothing other than the girl's scratchy straw bed and a hook on the wall near the window. That was it, for unlike penthouses or even basement apartments of today, the room didn't have any phones, radios, fax machines-not even a computer! Electronic communicating devices were nowhere to be found there partly because they hadn't been invented, but mostly because Cait Sith didn't want Yuffie to spend all her time-or any of her time-talking to boys.
But Yuffie didn't care about boys. She cared about making her new room as cool as possible. First, she added a goldfish bowl, and to the bowl she added some fresh water. "Mother," Yuffie said at last, "Now that I have a goldfish bowl and fresh water, may I have a goldfish?"
"No," said Cait Sith, and that was final. Which meant that the girl's only link to the outside world was her hair. For example, when Cait Sith wanted to bring clean underwear or whatever, she'd yell up toward the tower's window, "Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your hair!"
This was a good plan, but it didn't work the first time. Yuffie's room was so high up she couldn't hear exactly what Cait Sith said way down on the ground below. Therefore, that first time, Yuffie thought that Cait Sith had yelled, "Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your ear!"
But it worked the second time, and often thereafter. Cait Sith would yell, "Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your hair!" Yuffie would unfasten her hair, wrap some of it to the wall hook (so she wasn't pulled out the window) and drop the rest to the ground. Using the girl's hair as a ladder, Cait Sith would scale the tower and enter the window. Then she would give a lecture on the importance of math and science, or the dangers of boys and men. Here is a typical lecture:
"Climb right in, Mother," said Yuffie. "You are fine, I trust?"
"You're the fine one, child," said Cait Sith. "And I trust nobody on earth!"
"Not to fear, Mother," said Yuffie. "When it comes to any sort of boy or man, I am entirely lacking in interest, romantic or otherwise."
"You wouldn't fib to me, would you?" asked Cait Sith warily.
"No, Mother," said Yuffie, "no, no, a thousand times no."
"That's good," warned Cait Sith. "Because if you ever fib to me, I'll do something so fast it'll make your head swim!"
Yuffie didn't have to worry about her head swimming-whatever that meant- because what she said was true that first year when she was only 15 years old. It was also true the second year, the third year, the fourth year, the fifth, and the sixth year, when Yuffie was 21 years old, old enough to vote or whatever. Or at least it would've been true then, had not a handsome young prince become quite lost in her neck of the woods.
Vincent blamed his steed, a mare, for their being lost in this neck of the woods. "It's all your fault," said Vincent. "If you're smart enough to talk, you ought to be smart enough to get us back to the castle."
"Look," said his horse (Red XIII's Voice), who by this point was not only lathered up, he was at the end of his rope. "We have an arrangement here: I gallop and you steer. You see what I mean?"
Vincent did see what he meant because, in addition to excellent clothes as befitted the son of The King, he had excellent eyesight. And now Vincent's excellent eyesight enabled him to see Yuffie way up there at her window. Without excellent eyesight, Vincent might've mistaken Yuffie for a tiny hairy thumb or something. But with excellent eyesight, he could see her for what she really was-the most beautiful damsel he'd ever set his eyesight on! And of course he could even read her lips, which were now flapping about an interesting math problem. Needless to say, he was very impressed- as well as instantly and totally in serious love.
"Wow! Brains! And beauty, too," said Vincent. "Holy grail, what a crumpet!"
"Thank you very much," said his steed. "You really are too kind."
"Clown!" said Vincent
"Clown?" snorted the horse. "Oh, yeah? Well, look who's talking!"
This turned into one of those moments that can upset kids' tummys and make their cheeks feel hot. Vincent and his horse were only trying to be funny, but they had hurt each other's feelings. So they were itching for a fight and, if looks could kill, they would've keeled right over on the spot. But looks really can't kill and, besides, they were best friends. So when Vincent remembered what was important, he extended his hand. "Friends?" said Vincent.
"Friends," said the mare, extending his hoof.
They shook hands-or hooves-and immediately felt all better.
"Good," said Vincent, and it was good. (It's always good to stay friends with your horse, especially when you have a very long walk home.)
Vincent and his still-best friend stood around a few minutes, just feeling warm inside-until they heard a strange and frightening sound. The sound was strange because it sounded like claws scampering on sand, and the sound was frightening enough to make them duck for cover.
Safely concealed in the bushes, Vincent and his mare watched Cait Sith approach the tower, and then yell upward.
"Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your hair!"
"Did she say ear?" whispered the horse.
"Hush," whispered Vincent. "Let's watch what happens next."
~TO BE CONTINUED!~
Some Very Big Trouble: One afternoon, as was her habit, Yuffie was reading a good book and brushing her hair. Things were fine, business as usual- until Cait Sith walked in (and did so without knocking first)!
"What's up?" asked Cait Sith, making herself as comfortable as possible on the girl's tiny, scratchy, bug-infested bed of broom straws.
"The usual, Mother," said Yuffie. "Reading and brushing."
"Reading about what, child?" Cait Sith asked rather casually.
"The usual, Mother," said Yuffie, "science and mathematics."
"Science and mathematics?" said Cait Sith. "Nothing biological?"
"Am I missing something here?" asked Yuffie (as if this poor girl hadn't like been missing almost everything there since birth).
"Boys!" said Cait Sith
"Boys?" said Yuffie. Because this was the very first time she had even said this word, it sounded sort of like bays or boos.
"Boys! Teenage boys!" screamed Cait Sith. "Sniffling, burping, saying funny words, drinking everything possible and spitting up-teenage boys! You get the illustration?"
Of course, Yuffie did get the illustration. Although she never had seen a boy, she had seen illustrations of boys in her anatomy textbooks.
"What are you suggesting, Mother?" asked Yuffie.
"Oh, nothing much," said Cait Sith, "I mean, nothing much other than, the very first chance you get, you'll leave me to run off and get married to a prince. Or a frog. Maybe some kinda clown, or-"
"-No, Mother," protested Yuffie, on the verge of serious tears because her feelings were really, really hurt. She even began to sniffle.
Cait Sith offered a hankie but-remember those extremely dirty fingernails?- Yuffie politely declined. And then she said: "I've never even seen a real boy. Even had I seen one, you know that I would never run off and get married! After all, I'm only 15 years old and far too smart to do anything so stupid. Don't you understand?"
"Hey, what's not to understand? Pack up all your dresses."
"All?" said Yuffie. "But Mother, I have only one dress."
"Whatever," said Cait Sith.
"You are such a mother!" said Yuffie.
"Thank you, dear," cackled Cait Sith. "Now get packing."
And so it came to pass that within five minutes, max, the beautiful young damsel was locked away in a tall tower deep in The King's Forest.
Yuffie's room was sort of like a penthouse-only this penthouse didn't have an elevator, much less stairs leading up to it. Once inside-if, that is, one somehow got inside-a visitor would see nothing other than the girl's scratchy straw bed and a hook on the wall near the window. That was it, for unlike penthouses or even basement apartments of today, the room didn't have any phones, radios, fax machines-not even a computer! Electronic communicating devices were nowhere to be found there partly because they hadn't been invented, but mostly because Cait Sith didn't want Yuffie to spend all her time-or any of her time-talking to boys.
But Yuffie didn't care about boys. She cared about making her new room as cool as possible. First, she added a goldfish bowl, and to the bowl she added some fresh water. "Mother," Yuffie said at last, "Now that I have a goldfish bowl and fresh water, may I have a goldfish?"
"No," said Cait Sith, and that was final. Which meant that the girl's only link to the outside world was her hair. For example, when Cait Sith wanted to bring clean underwear or whatever, she'd yell up toward the tower's window, "Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your hair!"
This was a good plan, but it didn't work the first time. Yuffie's room was so high up she couldn't hear exactly what Cait Sith said way down on the ground below. Therefore, that first time, Yuffie thought that Cait Sith had yelled, "Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your ear!"
But it worked the second time, and often thereafter. Cait Sith would yell, "Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your hair!" Yuffie would unfasten her hair, wrap some of it to the wall hook (so she wasn't pulled out the window) and drop the rest to the ground. Using the girl's hair as a ladder, Cait Sith would scale the tower and enter the window. Then she would give a lecture on the importance of math and science, or the dangers of boys and men. Here is a typical lecture:
"Climb right in, Mother," said Yuffie. "You are fine, I trust?"
"You're the fine one, child," said Cait Sith. "And I trust nobody on earth!"
"Not to fear, Mother," said Yuffie. "When it comes to any sort of boy or man, I am entirely lacking in interest, romantic or otherwise."
"You wouldn't fib to me, would you?" asked Cait Sith warily.
"No, Mother," said Yuffie, "no, no, a thousand times no."
"That's good," warned Cait Sith. "Because if you ever fib to me, I'll do something so fast it'll make your head swim!"
Yuffie didn't have to worry about her head swimming-whatever that meant- because what she said was true that first year when she was only 15 years old. It was also true the second year, the third year, the fourth year, the fifth, and the sixth year, when Yuffie was 21 years old, old enough to vote or whatever. Or at least it would've been true then, had not a handsome young prince become quite lost in her neck of the woods.
Vincent blamed his steed, a mare, for their being lost in this neck of the woods. "It's all your fault," said Vincent. "If you're smart enough to talk, you ought to be smart enough to get us back to the castle."
"Look," said his horse (Red XIII's Voice), who by this point was not only lathered up, he was at the end of his rope. "We have an arrangement here: I gallop and you steer. You see what I mean?"
Vincent did see what he meant because, in addition to excellent clothes as befitted the son of The King, he had excellent eyesight. And now Vincent's excellent eyesight enabled him to see Yuffie way up there at her window. Without excellent eyesight, Vincent might've mistaken Yuffie for a tiny hairy thumb or something. But with excellent eyesight, he could see her for what she really was-the most beautiful damsel he'd ever set his eyesight on! And of course he could even read her lips, which were now flapping about an interesting math problem. Needless to say, he was very impressed- as well as instantly and totally in serious love.
"Wow! Brains! And beauty, too," said Vincent. "Holy grail, what a crumpet!"
"Thank you very much," said his steed. "You really are too kind."
"Clown!" said Vincent
"Clown?" snorted the horse. "Oh, yeah? Well, look who's talking!"
This turned into one of those moments that can upset kids' tummys and make their cheeks feel hot. Vincent and his horse were only trying to be funny, but they had hurt each other's feelings. So they were itching for a fight and, if looks could kill, they would've keeled right over on the spot. But looks really can't kill and, besides, they were best friends. So when Vincent remembered what was important, he extended his hand. "Friends?" said Vincent.
"Friends," said the mare, extending his hoof.
They shook hands-or hooves-and immediately felt all better.
"Good," said Vincent, and it was good. (It's always good to stay friends with your horse, especially when you have a very long walk home.)
Vincent and his still-best friend stood around a few minutes, just feeling warm inside-until they heard a strange and frightening sound. The sound was strange because it sounded like claws scampering on sand, and the sound was frightening enough to make them duck for cover.
Safely concealed in the bushes, Vincent and his mare watched Cait Sith approach the tower, and then yell upward.
"Yuffie, Yuffie, let down your hair!"
"Did she say ear?" whispered the horse.
"Hush," whispered Vincent. "Let's watch what happens next."
~TO BE CONTINUED!~