Seeing Daylight

~*Chapter 6*~

Edward stood in front of one of his newest horses, a tall chestnut quarter horse that stood majestically before him. His hand brushed her broad, full forehead, and she whinnied softly. With one last nuzzle, he grabbed the curry and started stroking her firmly.

His mind drifted to the woman sitting in his dining room; he couldn't believe she was still there. He had tossed and turned most of the night, thinking about her and what it felt like to have her in his arms again… even if only briefly. He was awake most of the night, replaying that kiss over and over again, almost like a lovesick puppy. After tossing and turning for hours, the sleep he achieved was fitful.

Morning came early, and with a grunt, he begrudgingly dragged himself out of bed. He had set about his morning chores, working quickly so he could get back inside before Bella woke up. He had hoped to make her breakfast but was surprised to see her standing in his living room, watching him intently as he shrugged out of his coat and hat. As arrogant as it may have seemed, he knew he was a good looking guy, and seeing Bella looking at him longingly, mimicking the way he felt, almost pushed him over the edge. A thrill of triumph ran through him; she still wanted him. And yet, even he knew it was too premature to do anything about it. He knew she was too vulnerable and that what had happened between them couldn't be erased overnight. Time. That was what they needed.

When he finished currying the still unnamed horse, he grabbed the dandy brush and quickly finished grooming her. He was just starting to clean the horse's hooves when he heard footsteps coming his way.

"What's up, Jas?" Edward asked, not bothering to turn around. He grumbled quietly at the amount of manure and mud that was trapped in the hooves after being out in the fields for just a short while.

"Um, Edward?"

Edward stood up quickly and whirled around, startling the horse. She stamped and let out an exasperated breath to show her indignation. He quickly patted her haunch and calmed her down.

"Bella, hey."

"I hope I'm not interrupting, but I talked to the mechanic," she said, hesitating just slightly before continuing. "It looks like my car won't be ready until Monday afternoon."

"Monday?" Edward asked, surprised that getting a new battery would take so long.

"Yeah, apparently my car needed some work, and it decided the perfect time to force the issue was when I was three and a half hours away from home," she quipped sarcastically.

Edward chuckled. That definitely sucked... for her, but hopefully she would just agree to stay with him for the weekend. Of course, if she wanted him to drive her home, he would.

"So… what are you thinking?" he asked, hoping to feel her out a little bit before offering to let her continue staying in his guestroom.

"I guess I'm not really sure," she said, shifting awkwardly from side to side and toying with the ends of her ponytail. "It would be great to get home, but I would hate to ask you to drive me all that way just to turn around and come back. That's like seven hours in the car. And truthfully, even if you did, I'm not sure how I would get back here to pick it up."

He could see she was really trying to rationalize what to do, but Edward didn't want to let her get too far down the decision trail.

"Or you could just stay here. I obviously have room, and I don't really have plans for the weekend," he offered sincerely before quickly tacking on, "So, it really wouldn't be an inconvenience."

Bella looked surprised. "I couldn't do that to you, Edward. I mean, I've already taken up one of your evenings, and I would hate to be in the way…"

Edward met her eyes, and almost imploringly urged her to stay. "It really wouldn't be an inconvenience, Bella. I'd love the company. It gets pretty quiet around here."

He smiled and cocked his head to the side. "Come on, don't make me beg you to stay," he said teasingly.

She looked at him and grinned. He had always had been able to get her to do things, and this was clearly no exception.

"Okay, but only if you're sure."

"I'm sure," he said, glancing over at the clock on the wall. "Come on. Let's get some lunch."

~*SD*~

Later that evening, after a dinner of steak, baked potatoes, and salad, they sat on the couch eating an apple crisp Bella had made. They had spent much of the afternoon doing their own thing, and when they had been in the same room, the awkward, nervous tension that had been there earlier was gone. Neither of them felt compelled to talk, especially with two days ahead of them, and they both fell into some of their old patterns – Bella sprawled on the couch reading and Edward up and moving in a blur of productivity. It was comfortable and easy, a fact that neither of them was willing to acknowledge.

Edward looked over at her and watched her put her fork, laden with apples and crunchy topping, in her mouth. Her eyes closed, and she hummed in satisfaction. As she slowly pulled the fork out of her mouth, Edward felt his body stir. He tried to tear his eyes away from her, but he couldn't help but enjoy the way her lips wrapped around the shiny tines or the way her tongue flicked across her lips to remove the leftover crumbs. Seeing these simple, unconscious gestures made parts deep down inside him ache with longing. He had missed having someone around, someone with whom he felt comfortable being himself. Jasper and Alice had been great, some of the best friends he could have asked for, but there was something different about being here with Bella. She felt like home, like sunshine breaking through the clouds, refreshing and warm.

The clattering of the fork in her empty bowl pulled him out of his thoughts. Bella was watching him intently, trying to figure out what he had been thinking. He'd been quiet, quieter than usual, and she wondered what was on his mind.

"You okay?" she asked, tipping her head to the side, her eyes soft and warm in the evening shadows.

"Yeah, just thinking. Appreciating the company." He grinned at her, that heart-stopping smile that made her insides melt with familiarity and comfort and a hint of something more.

They sat there for a few minutes longer, the silence growing deafening. It was no longer the easy quiet they had both enjoyed throughout much of the evening. This was a quiet that begged to be broken, and in an attempt to do so, Edward stood up, grabbed both of their bowls, and walked into the kitchen.

Bella could hear him rinsing and loading them into the dishwasher, and she wondered if she should go help. At the last minute, she decided that maybe watching a movie would help dissipate some of the newly built tension.

She walked over to the bookcase and quickly scanned the titles, settling on The 40 Year Old Virgin. Bella had never seen the movie, but she'd heard it was really funny… and she was definitely in the mood to laugh. They both needed something to lighten the mood. Pulling the movie from the shelf, she walked over to the entertainment center and stared at the three remote controls sitting on the top shelf. She knew there was no way she would figure out how to work them and decided to see if Edward was even okay with watching a movie.

"You want to watch a movie, Edward?" Bella shouted toward the kitchen.

"Sure. Just pick one out," he called back. "Do you want anything to drink before we get started?"

"Whatever you're having is fine with me."

She turned back to face the television and pushed the power button. It came to life instantly, and as she squatted down in front of the DVD player, she realized it wasn't as complicated as it looked. She quickly loaded the disc and grabbed all three remotes before heading back to the couch.

Just as she was sitting down, Edward walked back in carrying two beers and a big bowl of popcorn.

"Hope Sam Adams is okay. I'm out of Heineken."

"It's great. Thanks." She looked at the bowl in his hands and laughed. "How could you possibly be hungry?"

"I can't watch a movie without popcorn. Never have. Never will. You should know that by now," he said, his face awash in seriousness before he cracked up.

She threw a pillow at him, hitting him in the leg, and continued to laugh as he sat down. "You are ridiculous."

He just grinned. After getting comfortable, he turned to face the screen and asked, "What are we watching?"

"The 40 Year Old Virgin."

Edward almost spat out his beer. Choking, he laughed. "Great."

They turned their attention to the television as the opening credits came on. Edward reached back and flipped off the light on the end table. The room was immediately bathed in an eerie blue light. Bella looked over at Edward, entranced by the way the shadows bounced across his face. As she took him in, she was reminded again how handsome he was. When they'd been dating, she had watched him a lot – on the back of a horse, while he was making dinner for them, and even while he was sleeping. He had one of the sexiest jaws she'd ever seen, and it was only more pronounced now that he had gotten older.

Trying to ignore the hint of stubble she knew was there, she swallowed, flicked her eyes back to the screen, and tried to pay attention. Eventually, she got sucked in and laughed along with him as Steve Carell was getting his chest hair ripped out. They looked at each other and exchanged a quick smile.

About halfway through the movie, Bella shivered. The room had cooled considerably, and the heat from the fire Edward had built earlier wasn't cutting it. She leaned over, trying to reach for the blanket on the back of the couch close to Edward when her hand landed in the bowl of popcorn. It spilled everywhere – on the floor, the couch, and Edward's lap – and without even thinking, Bella reached over and started grabbing handfuls of the buttery white popcorn, brushing Edward's thigh in the process.

Startled, he jerked away from her hand, spilling the remainder of the popcorn in the bowl onto the floor, just as she snatched it back. Her face instantly exploded in red heat.

"Oh, shit!" Bella exclaimed, scrambling up off the couch, embarrassed. "I'm sorry!"

"Holy shit!" Edward exclaimed out of shock at the same time.

Covered in butter and little bits of popcorn, they both stood there breathing hard and trying to overcome the shock and embarrassment of the moment when Edward burst out laughing. He laughed a deep rumbling belly laugh that had him doubled over and resting his hands on his knees. All he could think was how awkward things had been since she'd been there, and damn, what a way – Bella's hand practically groping his dick - to diffuse the tension.

Bella stood there, completely embarrassed that she had almost grabbed his junk. Part of her wanted the ground to swallow her up, but his laughter was contagious. She startled giggling hysterically, feeling the thickness of the moment dissipate in the best possible way.

After they'd both caught their breath, Edward stood up and looked at her. His face was the picture of seriousness. In his head, he saw how simple things could be and the way they always should have been. It was so damn frustrating to be on eggshells around the one person he'd always loved and wanted. He hated it, and a part of him wanted to be angry – was angry – that she'd pushed him away without really giving him a choice. And yet, he also couldn't deny that the choice was probably the right one at the time.

As he took in her glassy eyes, still wet from laughter, and the pink of her cheeks, he wanted nothing more than for things to just be for a while.

Bella saw the wheels turning in his head, figuratively of course, but didn't say anything. She used the quiet reprieve to process how it felt to laugh with him. It was so easy to be there with him. At times, she found herself feeling so carefree and light – almost like it had been back when they'd been together. But even the ease of the moment couldn't replace the way he'd made her feel when he didn't choose her that day.

The betrayal, emptiness, and anger that had followed were still vivid and palpable in her memories. He had never seen what his departure had done to her, and she didn't have any intention of showing it to him after all these years. Regardless, it was there, fully present, like the undercurrent in the ocean, tugging and pulling, threatening to pull her under. She'd managed to swim to safety during her time in Europe and then with Riley, but being with Edward again, in some ways, was like treading rough choppy waters.

"This is so ridiculous, Bella. Why are we acting so weird around each other?"

She opened her mouth to say something but stopped as Edward stepped closer to her.

"Bella, just listen," he said as he held up his hands in a sort of calming gesture. "I know things are weird. I can't imagine how it must feel to be here, at my house, after all these years. But look," he said, running his hand roughly through his hair, "can we just get back to where we were? We used to be friends. I'm not asking you for more than that right now, especially after what happened between us."

His gaze was deep and penetrating, his grey-blue eyes burning into hers. She was awash in feelings, and as much as she wanted to be his friend, she wasn't sure how she would go about it, especially when what she felt for him was definitely more than friendship. It always had been.

He waited for her to respond, and when she didn't, he reached out his hand for hers, a silent peace offering, urging her to take it. She slowly raised her hand and laced her fingers with his. She knew all the feelings she'd kept dormant and buried were still alive the minute her hand was in his. She could feel the energy, the very same connection they used to have, buzzing and burning through her skin. He tugged her back toward the couch and wrapped the blue blanket she'd been reaching for around her shoulders as he sat down beside her. He didn't say anything more, but he took her silence and the way her hand had felt in his as her quiet acceptance of his proposal… at least for the night.

The movie continued, and in the dark, the tension in the room was palpable. Bella was sitting, or more aptly, leaning against Edward, and his arm was wrapped around her. They both knew this was more than what "friends" might do, but neither felt compelled to move or change positions. Edward, while being truthful when he had said he wasn't asking for more than friendship, knew he definitely wanted more. He wanted her, and his body made that abundantly clear as he breathed in the sweet flowery scent of her hair. Closing his eyes and relishing her warmth against his side, he just let himself feel and dream for the first time in a long time.

After the movie ended and the little bits of popcorn were cleaned up, they went their separate ways without saying much. Despite what they had both said earlier, the emotion swirling around was too intense to do or say more, and the walk to their respective rooms was almost like a rubber band being stretched. At some point, it had to come back together, and after five minutes in her room, Bella was faced with her own limit.

As she undressed, she realized she needed to do something about her clothing situation. She couldn't very well wear the same clothes three or four days in a row. It was disgusting, and no matter how many showers she took, it would still be like putting the dirt right back on. She looked at the pile of clothes on the floor and debated what to do. Looking over at the drawers, she said a silent prayer hoping there might be some old clothes in there she could wear, but as she pulled open the drawers, she found they were empty.

A sigh of frustration later, she had redressed and was walking down the hall to Edward's room. She shifted back and forth outside his door and berated herself for acting so ridiculous. They used to live together. Hell, they'd seen each other naked, had sex too many times to count, and yet, there she was outside his room, pacing around like some inexperienced school girl. Resolved to get this over with and get back to the safety of her own room, Bella knocked on the door.

~*SD*~

Edward walked down the hall to his room, peeking over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of her as she disappeared into her own room. Everything in him was tense and needy. His dick was hard, and his chest was tight. Feeling Bella against his side, so warm and soft, had done nothing to ease the pressure after the popcorn debacle. Of course, he was the one who had initiated the "cuddling," and he wasn't sorry in the least she'd been so close. He would have gladly suffered a case of blue balls for the chance to smell her sweet scent and to feel her next to him.

He walked into the bathroom and quickly shed his clothes, washed his face and brushed his teeth. He was just about to slip into bed and was about to take care of business when he heard the quiet knock on his door. He scrambled out of bed and quickly found a pair of sleep pants that did nothing to hide his semi and opened the door. He stood slightly to the side and behind it, trying to keep his lower half hidden. That was all he needed to further his case that all he wanted was to be "friends."

He ran his hand through his hair, suddenly nervous. "Bella?"

Bella's eyes were wide and hinted at her embarrassment, but she couldn't look away. Edward was half naked in front of her, his chest, firm and lightly muscled, was bronze in the low light of his room. She was completely taken by the sinewy muscles of his arms, the "V" of his abs, and the light smattering of hair that disappeared beneath the waist band of his pants. She forced her eyes back up to his face and noticed the smirk plastered there. She felt her face heat for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She shifted back a step and mumbled something he couldn't understand.

"What was that?" he asked, stepping out from behind the door. His body had mercifully cooperated with his head for a change. He waited for her to answer, but she remained silent, continuing to stare at him in a very appraising way.

"Bella…"

The low timbre of his voice pulled her back to the present.

"Yes?" she asked, staring into his slightly darkened grey eyes.

"Did you need something, or did you just come to check me out?"

Bella choked on a fake laugh and quickly requested a t-shirt and sleep pants.

"I need to wash my clothes and don't have anything to sleep in…" she said, trailing off as his hand rubbed unconsciously across his chest and down the smooth planes of his stomach. Her eyes were drawn to the ink on his left bicep. The horseshoe he'd had since college had been modified to include an intricately shaded five point star. She wanted to trace her fingers over the smooth grey and black shading, to feel the warm skin and hard ridges of his muscles beneath it.

She licked her lips and blinked, forcing herself to look away. That was an image that would definitely not be leaving her head anytime soon. Edward pushed off the door and turned toward the dresser.

Bella's jaw dropped slightly, and her mouth went dry as his naked back came into view. Her eyes traced over the fiery image of a bucking horse painted across his right shoulder blade. The black ink was intricate, tribal almost, and stood out vividly against his lightly tanned skin. That had definitely not been there when they'd been together. The image was very different in look and feel from the one on his bicep, and she naturally wondered what the significance of it was. Quickly taking in the rest of his back and the way his pajama pants sat low around his hips, she appreciatively watched the way his muscles easily shifted beneath his smooth, tanned skin as he moved. She tore her eyes away from his nearly naked form for the second time that evening just as he turned around, a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt in his hand.

She reached out and took them, refraining from pulling them to her nose – she knew they would smell like him, all warm spice and outdoors. With one last raking glance, she said thank you and turned around.

"It's been a long time since you've worn my pajamas…" he trailed off as she stopped, frozen in the middle of the hallway.

She turned, her face flaming pink, and smiled shyly. "Yes… it has. Good night, Edward," she said softly as she turned once again to walk to her room.

"Night, Bunny," he said just loud enough for her to hear. She stopped again but this time didn't turn around. He saw her shoulders stiffen as she moved uneasily down the remainder of the hall.

Edward watched her disappear before taking a step back and closing his door. He flopped back on the bed, his dick just as hard as it was before at the thought of her in his pajamas pants. Fully awake and feeling lonelier than usual, he thought about everything that had happened earlier. Having Bella spend time with him out there, telling her about the horses and then making dinner with her, felt just like a day they would have spent together in college. He couldn't even begin to count how many times she had helped him groom the horses and then came home all handsy and hungry for dinner and each other. Of course, back then there wouldn't have been a second thought to a make out session on the couch or wherever they felt like doing it. God, those were some of the best times of his life.

He thought about the gentle sway of her hips as she'd walked to her room and the way she'd paused when he'd called her by the one name for her he knew was only his. He wondered what was going through her mind now that she was alone, wearing his sleep pants and favorite t-shirt, the one from his college rodeo team that said Masen on the back.

He could picture her hovering above him on the couch, her hair hanging around them like a curtain, in nothing but one of his shirts and her panties. He closed his eyes, and if he tried hard enough, could even smell the subtle hints of her perfume, delicate and sweet like berries.

He felt himself getting hard at the thought, and as he pictured her hands roaming over his body, his own hand snaked into his pajama pants. With a firm grip, he closed his eyes and got lost in the sensation of her hands unzipping and tugging off his jeans, her hot hands gliding, gripping him in long smooth motions.

With each imagined pass of her hands, his own grip tightened. Intense sensations began to form in his stomach and without hesitation he tugged off his pants, jerked open the drawer beside his bed, and squirted his hand with lube. The liquid smooth feeling reminded him of her mouth, her tongue, the way she swirled it around and sucked gently on the head. He increased his pace and felt his body tense, coiled tightly, ready for release. His stomach tightened, and now desperate, he fisted himself tightly, focusing on the head. Bella's tongue flicked and swirled, sucked and popped, and as her teeth grazed his, length she moaned, pushing him into an exploding bliss.

Catching his breath, Edward blinked and looked down at the mess covering his stomach. Bliss was replaced with emptiness, knowing it was all in his head. She wasn't his. He had closed the door to that long ago, and even if she agreed to be friends, he wasn't convinced it would ever be enough to open the door for more down the road.

Climbing out of bed once again, he cleaned himself up, and got back in bed, naked and exhausted.

~*SD*~

By the time Bella got to her room, her heart was pounding, and her body was tense. She closed the door, pressing her back against it; her head was whirling at warp speed. Bunny. No one had called her that in years and hearing it from his lips had caused her heart to clench unexpectedly. She sank to the floor and tried to stymie the plethora of thoughts and memories, but they were rushing in with such force she could hardly breathe. How could he take the horses and crowds and all the glory over her all those years ago and still have the gall to call her Bunny? How could he? It just didn't make any sense. The undercurrents of pain and anxiety she'd been fighting tugged and pulled her downward. Hearing that name, his name for her, was too much, and like water pouring through a broken dam, she could hear his laughter, see his smile, smell his rich, earthy scent. She longed to be wrapped up in his casual demeanor, his cocky attitude, and his tender heart. So many confusing feelings and emotions poured through the cracks in the walls she'd built around that part of her heart, and the more she thought about him, what they used to have, the more the lines fractured until at last, they burst.

Sobs burst forth, and even though she tried to stifle the flow, she couldn't. It was no use. Being there with him had opened up parts of her that she had long buried. She wasn't prepared for it, for him, for the tidal wave of emotions she'd felt growing and building the entire time she'd been there.

After what felt like hours, her tears slowed, and she wiped her face and climbed up off the floor.

Exhausted, she realized she wasn't ready to deal with this. No, she wouldn't do this again. She knew what it was to be happy when she had been with Riley. Edward had chosen the rodeo, not her, and she wasn't sure if she could ever fully trust him to put her first, even if their attempt at friendship went further.

Guilt reared its ugly head as she thought about Riley. What would he think about everything that had happened? Would he want whatever this was for her? She had no idea. She wanted to believe he would question her, push her to be honest with herself, and hopefully, in the midst of all of that, she would find the answers she so desperately needed. The one thing she was certain of was that Riley would want her to be happy. That had always been his priority, and as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, she felt the ache and loss of him so deeply it was almost like she'd just lost him.

Riley – her Riley – had filled her life with such immense joy and happiness once she'd opened her heart. She knew what it was to love. She knew what it was to be loved, and everything inside her was clinging desperately to how he'd made her feel. He'd given her a sense of control and order and safety at a time when everything felt the complete opposite.

With everything spinning out of control, she needed him. She needed to hear the soft, cool timbre of his voice whispering reassurances in her ear. She wanted to feel his hands, always so tender, tight in her own. A fresh wave of tears fell down her face. They were tears of sadness, of longing, and of loneliness. They were tears for a man who had stitched her up and helped make her whole again.

When her tears had finally dried, she felt fatigue take hold. She wanted to sleep, to forget. With a deep breath and a newly steeled resolve to deal with everything later, she shed her clothes and pulled on his pants and shirt. She pushed away the new flood of memories that threatened to break through the very tentative, hardly repaired dam she'd just built as his very essence washed over her.

She climbed into bed and lay there a long time, battling the warring emotions that were tearing her up and the memories they shared, before she finally fell into a fitful and exhausting sleep.

~*SD*~

So, hints of citrus in this chapter, and his other tatt was revealed. Pics of both the horseshoe and the flaming horse are on my profile. This chapter puts us just past the half-way point. I've had several questions about the posting schedule. I will post a chapter every day until it's finished.

Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I am touched by how much you all have been thinking about or feeling for each of these characters. I'm sort of in love with them both and how this story unfolds. I hope you'll feel that way when it's finished. I've been terrible at replying to all the reviews, but I have more time this weekend. So, I'll be replying to them as best I can and will send a little teaser out just for fun! Much love to you all! xoxo