Episode 20 – "Time Changes Things"
A/N: I'm going to ignore the reimagined flashbacks in this episode. I refuse to believe they are legit and won't dignify them by even acknowledging them, except as being inaccurate. There will be some reference to things that happened in the past, but they'll be more consistent with what we were told in seasons 1 and 2.
Rayna
She'd thought long and hard about what she was about to do. Not that long, actually, because there wasn't enough time to think about it too carefully. But she didn't normally sit on decisions long – never had – and this hadn't really been that hard a decision to make. The hardest part was not telling Deacon. She'd promised herself after everything came out about Maddie that she would never lie to him again. She'd never done it before and she hadn't done it since, but that had been a big one. It had taken a while to really get past all of that, all the little things that had reminded both of them of the years she'd kept him from knowing Maddie was his.
She knew, though, that if she'd told him what she was going to do, he would have told her no. He would not have wanted her to go to Mississippi and beg Beverly to help him. He had too much pride for that. But she also knew it had hurt him to the core, had hurt him about as much as anything ever could have, for Beverly to turn her back on him.
Desperate times called for desperate measures, though, so that was why she'd gotten up at four o'clock in the morning and driven to John Tune airport. It was why she was on this private plane, headed for Natchez. And it was why she'd told Deacon she was headed to New York to discuss a distribution deal. She told herself it was better this way. She and Beverly had their own bitter history and she didn't know if her plan would work, so it was better that she not get Deacon's hopes up until there was something to be hopeful about.
After she'd hung up with Deacon and they were preparing to land, she closed her eyes and prayed. Please, Lord, give me the right words to put it on Beverly's heart to help her brother.
Maddie
She'd really wanted to be alone with Colt. He really made it hard to breathe when she was around him. He was so sweet to her and she really liked kissing him, but they weren't able to really be alone. Whenever they were at the ranch, Luke was always hovering nearby, which was annoying. So one day when they'd talked about where they could go, she remembered that she had the key to her dad's house. Now that he was living with them, it seemed like the perfect place.
She'd felt shy when they first went back to Scarlett's room. But he'd been very gentle and patient with her. He'd slowly unbuttoned her blouse and then taken off his own shirt. They'd agreed there would only be touching above the waist. This time. She'd never done anything like this before and she was a little scared to do anything else.
It had felt really good though. The little tingles she'd felt in her stomach when he kissed her felt more intense when he touched her skin on her abdomen and then when he touched her breasts by running his fingers over her bra. She had tentatively reached out and put her hand on his chest and he'd smiled at her. She breathed in and bit her lip. She felt a warmth creep up through her body.
When they heard the front door slam, they sprang apart as though they were on fire. Please be Scarlett, please be Scarlett.
Deacon
He could hardly breathe. He couldn't even look at Maddie, as she sat in the front seat next to him, sniffling now and then. He didn't know what to say to her anyway. This was something that Rayna would be far better at dealing with, but he wasn't going to interrupt her business trip with this. He'd have to figure out what to do, what to say, how to feel.
When he'd found out Maddie had a boyfriend, it had stirred up all kinds of unfamiliar feelings. He had so little experience being her dad and he wasn't sure how a dad should feel about a boyfriend. He'd told Rayna he felt like he needed to protect her and she'd smiled and told him that was exactly right. But he hadn't let himself think about things like this.
He and Rayna hadn't been a whole lot older than Colt and Maddie when they had met, but he didn't like imagining their daughter doing anything close to what they had done back then. It made his head hurt.
He really didn't want to mess this up by saying or doing the wrong thing.
Rayna
Beverly was still a bitter, hard-hearted woman. But she had to put that aside, for Deacon's sake. Beverly was probably his last chance and she had to swallow hard to keep from giving Deacon's sister a piece of her mind. She tried being nice, tried appealing to Beverly's sense of family.
But Beverly couldn't get past her hurt feelings. She'd always blamed Rayna for luring Deacon away from her, when the reality was that Deacon had left long before he'd ever met her. She knew Beverly's memories of the past were distorted by her illness and the treatments she'd endured back then, so she tried to stay away from that.
Beverly had always disappointed Deacon though, so none of this felt unfamiliar. He'd tried reaching out to her when he was in rehab, but she wouldn't acknowledge him. Rayna often wondered if Beverly's refusal to step up for Deacon hurt his recovery. She was the only other person who knew the damage done during their childhood, the only other person who could have helped him sift through that. But Beverly refused and walked away. Again.
Rayna felt like time was slipping away as she watched Beverly turn her back on Deacon. Again.
Maddie
She felt better by the end of the day. It had helped to talk to Juliette, but more than that, it had helped to talk it out with her dad. She was lucky to have him, for however long it ended up being.
Rayna
She wasn't sure what she'd expected would happen when she went to Natchez. If she were honest, probably exactly what happened. After she had talked to Deacon, she'd felt so helpless. Like she had failed him. She'd sat in the rental car for a long time, just crying, trying to think if there was anything else she could do. And then, finally, she'd driven to Beverly's house. She knew that last desperate act could blow up in her face, but she couldn't leave without doing everything she could think of to convince Beverly.
She had written that check on her private account. In the back of her mind, she didn't believe Beverly would cash it. She did, however, think it would force her to act. If it cost her a million dollars in the end, it was worth it, because Deacon was worth infinitely more than that to her.
He was worth whatever it took to keep him alive.
Deacon
She'd sounded down when he talked to her on the phone. More than usual, for just a business deal. Especially a last minute business deal. But maybe it was just because it had been a long day. She'd been up since before dawn and now it was long after dinner. They were a half hour out from Nashville, she'd said, and then she'd be home in about twenty minutes.
He'd told her about Maddie and Colt then. She'd sounded sad about it, but she'd also told him he'd handled it well. Somehow I guess I thought we wouldn't have to deal with this, but I'm so glad we're doing it together, babe. It made him feel good to know they were a team. And he'd told her again that he'd help her unwind, that he couldn't wait for her to get home.
Rayna
When she finally got home, it was very late. The girls were already in bed. Deacon was asleep on the couch. She had lightly touched his arm and he'd bolted wide awake, then smiled sheepishly at her. He took her hand and they walked back to the bedroom together. He asked her a few questions about her trip. She gave him answers that were truthful, yet not completely accurate. She was disappointed, she'd told him, as disappointed as she'd ever been about anything. That was the truth too.
They had gotten into bed and, as they always did, wrapped themselves around each other. He stroked her hair and rubbed her arm. She laid her hand on his chest and her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as she felt some of the tension ease from her body. Then he put his thumb under her chin and raised her face up towards his. He looked deep into her eyes and she hoped he didn't see the truth there. But he merely leaned in and kissed her, gently at first, then more urgently.
Before long, he'd rolled her onto her back and their hands were touching and stroking and exploring each other, the kisses got hotter, and then she gasped with pleasure as he made love to her. She forgot everything that had happened that day as she gave herself over to him.
In the aftermath, as they held each other close, he brushed his lips against her cheek. "Did that improve your day?" he asked softly.
She smiled up at him. "More than you'll ever know," she responded.
Thanks to those who are reading. I'd really love to know what you think, though – good, bad, or indifferent. It helps to know if I'm hitting the mark or not.