(thank you so much for your kind words)
When there's nobody there,
What does he care?
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
He didn't want to fucking go to school.
God damn it why
Why did he tell fucking Dad he was fucking going
He didn't want to think he didn't want to breathe
(And his stomach twisted he wanted to burst when he
Thought about how about how Azimio probably told the whole fucking team.
Everybody. Would they know? They would know and he'd oh FUCK his life was ending)
He took in a few breaths because he wanted to fucking punch somebody
This is not how he envisioned it
(Still, he still feels different)
But what's different if Fancy's still afraid and he's now a fucking fag to everybody—
To fucking EVERYBODY.
Shame welled up within him and he was heavy like lead.
But he had to go.
He had to fucking go.
He had promised Dad.
Weird being back in those halls
Weird silences people stare at him unabashed like he's a fucking animal (monster)
He used to thrive off of intimidation but this is different and also
Fucking also there were these random chicks getting all weepy and people coming up to him like "Let's be friends now, YAY"
Everything felt gross and lonely
Including in him him himself
(So far
(THANK YOU LORD ALMIGHTY)
They didn't seem
To know.)
Az-Azimio walking down the hallway
Talking to some chick trying to get the girl out on a date
"C'mon, baby!" He was smiling laughing as was she but for different reasons
Azimio didn't even
Didn't even glance Dave's way
His eyes stung and he swallowed his throat was dry
Nothing within him wanted to talk to Azimio. He didn't want to know if the guys knew fuck it he was too scared fear crept through his bones no FUCK he DIDN'T
WANT TO KNOW.
"Bitch," he muttered under his breath. Stupid fucking Az.
Hands clenched, unclenched.
He did wish that he could be that straight guy Zee thought he could be.
But he knew. He was so tired from trying. That.
Bell rang, students filed out in a heated frenzy. Dave stays behind
"I need to catch up. Do you have...you know, the homework I missed?"
"David, you honestly need to pull off a lot to get back the A you had last semester. I don't know if you can catch up, to be frank. This is Calculus. You're smart-but you stopped trying, and now that's really gonna bite you in the butt."
"Well...I'll try now."
"Yeah, you better try. It's your junior year, you know. So," Mr. Clark's eyes widened glanced him up down (fucking douchebag) "I hope you mean it when you say you'll take this class more seriously."
"I was going through some stuff, okay?"
"David..." he gave an exasperated sigh, pushed his glasses up further, "We're all going through some stuff. You just have to work past that."
Glowering glare. For once now he wanted the fucking sympathy.
Abruptly his
Heart pounded body stammered fluttered his hands got all clammy jaw tightened stomach clenched a glance and
Aw...
Fuck. (cringe) This spot here was where he
Used to see him,
Everyday, same time
You know, before
He transferred.
"Mrs. Jorger—I was wondering if you could give me all the chapter packets I missed."
"You missed two tests, too. The whole Cold War unit, I'm afraid."
"Yeah, I heard."
"Well, it might take awhile. But David—you're one of my best students. I don't know what happened with you, but I'll be here to help you with whatever you need, to make sure you get your grade back up."
Smiled a little smile "Thanks, so much." His voice breaks a little break
For some days now he'd stuck it alone. People got it they moved away. Still stares though. Everyday.
Still hadn't talked to any of the jocks. Still didn't fucking know.
(Better not knowing) (Didn't want to think jinx it but
Maybe
Azimio didn't tell)
Down way down the hallway saw Brent some other guys
Laughing headed his way he ducked headed left down music corridor
(Nowhere near his Junior Gym class, but needed escape, he was late already anyway)
Hears
Music
Singing and forgets everything
The sound blends so perfectly it swells so magically can't help himself he's paralyzed listening
Suddenly too late hears someone from inside approaching the door he's just fucking standing there
As the door opens voices become sharp clear he bends down, tying an invisibly undone shoelace
Hudson with his long legs hurries out sees Dave looking like an idiot
Hesitates, tosses weird glance at the crouched over Karofsky—
He rushes away. Dave stays still for a few seconds more, until the singing stops and that Spanish guy proclaims, "Great job, you guys! -"
Gets up he's way too late for Gym but all he can think about
Are those voices, so strong...
It took a few seconds to register then abruptly end silent but
He'd been humming on his way over to the lockers
"What is this vampire shit?"
Turned the corner heard saw Az raggin on that one goth chick from Glee Club
Laughing at her she's rigid fearful there's this venom in his voice
"You wanna see some blood?" Holds up his fist and
Guilt shame darkness floods Karofsky since that was him weeks months ago he's overcome because
He doesn't know if Zee's joking or not—sad thing is, though, he's probably not that's fucking stupid—she's blinking back tears now—
"STOP." He's suddenly feet away from them staring right into Azimio
Az's eyes widen mouth open he's too shocked (Karofsky loves it but is) too angry right now to fucking care
"What's the point? Don't do that shit. Just...don't." Blank on black eyes
Azimio swallows (he could out Dave right now but instead he)
Retreats swivels around walks away still he's shaking his head then Dave hears it, just barely, deep and low
"Fucking fag."
(Oh)
Like a spear piercing through him.
Jaw clenched.
He knows what it means,
Now
Coughs lightly looks back at Asian chick
"You okay?" He got out gruffly
Her mouth's agape, too she lets out a small "Yes"
Dave turns around storms away
It feels nice and warm still he feels pissed but that morning
He'd put the cake topper (yeah, the fucking cake topper, whatever) in his backpack and he'd
Never forget. Didn't want to let his Dad down and
Didn't want to be that guy
Anymore
He knows what it means,
Now
Alone after working out Dave is angry he knows all those idiotic
Breathing techniques (okay, Carol, they're not that but) he wants to be angry just now he's thinking of
Azimio and thinking of how fucking awful he was he was Azimio with Azimio saying all of that stupid shit the adrenaline from lifting weight still there still potent
No one's there and
He punches a locker
It's not his it's so close though to exactly where
He'd hit when those blue eyes pushed him away when he was that guy when
He was so open and (pushed thrown away) and that's when he knew
He punches the locker four times then stops his hand is bleeding a little
There's a dent (noticeable) but what the fuck
Right now he doesn't want to control his fucking temper he knows he should it kills him a little inside but
His past still haunts him and he's different
But he's not
But he's still
(Alone)
Literature class he drifts a little bit everyone's dead silent reading
Lost in a word or two then sentence fucking eloquent pretentious shit it's too fucking much sometimes
P.A. crackles on and a familiar voice blares out:
"Would David Karofsky please come down to my office?"
Everyone looks at Dave he feels doesn't see the stares begins collecting his stuff puts on backpack
P.A. crackles on again:
"This is Principal Figgins," It added, as though there were oodles of bumpy Indian accents at McKinley High
Dave rushed out of the quiet room, halfway relieved only curious about being called when
He remembered the locker room
Probably calling him because of the fucking dent. Do they have a camera or some shit in there? Wait, that's illegal-right-
Damn it nervously he starts inventing some sort of story.
"I talk to lockers, it wanted to be punched..."
Yeah-fuck it.
But his heart doesn't stop hammering as it turns the corner into Figgins' office...